Our Journey Through Foster Care

Jesse* lived with us for seven months.  After six months he was finally off of oxygen, and his apnea monitor.  He was happy, and life was going well. 

My husband was in the Navy, and he was expected to go to sea for six months soon.  The agency we worked with required that two adults lived in the foster home.  We requested that Jesse be moved over to regular DHS services, where there were no requirements on having two adults in the home.  Jesse’s parents requested this as well.  They were happy with us as Jesse’s foster parents.  We felt it was in Jesse’s best interest to stay with the family he was used to, and not move him to another family.  The answer came back a resounding, “No.”

The day we moved Jesse to his new foster family, I was a mess!  I truly liked the family he was going to, but I couldn’t understand why the system would take a chance on this child’s health.  I managed to hold myself together as we handed him over, and said our good-byes.  As we were pulling out of the driveway, I looked up at the rear view mirror and saw the baby mirror attached to the windshield.  There in the back seat, sat an empty car seat, and I began bawling.  I yanked the baby mirror off the window and threw it on the floor.  My husband drove away with tears streaming down his face. 

At this same time, my best friend had gone to be with her mother who had cancer, my neighbor was moving and our pastor and his family were moving.  They had helped us to become foster parents, and had done respite care for Jesse.  All of that and my husband was leaving for a month of sea trials.  I felt totally bereft, and I held my girls more tightly.  My mother called and suggested that I come stay with her for a while, to get away from home.  I agreed and the girls and I made the journey.

While we were away, I called Jesse’s foster family to see how he was doing.  The report was not good.  He was back on oxygen and the apnea monitor.  He had been off of them for two months.  Jesse’s mother had gone back to hiding in her corner during visits.  The new foster mother asked me some questions on how Jesse ate, and about his biological mother.  I answered as best I could, and hung up the phone with a heavy heart. 

While we knew that Jesse would never go back to either of his parents, we were sure some member of his family would take him.  The question was, could Jesse stand up to yet another move, and would our hearts ever heal?

*Not his real name.  On my blog he is Boy 2.