Related Tags: homeschooling, homeschool, home school, home education, one, single, only, child, fallacy, support, limits, limitations, strengths, capable

On my HOO message board, a member was commenting on common fallacies, that many view as valid for those who are homeschooling only one student. Some of these fallacies are actually shared by the larger homeschooling community through their neighbors and family members, as well as from strangers. And some of these fallacies are held by our homeschooling sisters who have more than one child. I will go thru a different fallacy over the next 3 weeks.   Fallacy Number One She who has only one child, has no reason to feel overwhelmed at any point! After all, she's only got one child to handle.   Anyone who homeschools one student will hear this one-either directly or indirectly. That undercurrent that says we have no excuse whatsoever to have hectic or out-of-control lives, because after all, we have only one child. We should always be on time, always be in control, because with only one, doncha' know, everything is a total breeze!   We may cautiously raise our hand to ask for real help or input from the other ladies in our support group. They roll their eyes and say, "OH, but you have it so easy with only one!!" and then they recount the troubles they have with their 2 or 3 or 4, or more. The other ladies will jump in with their woes and say how they wish they had only one to contend with. Then the dialogue moves to someone else's needs. leaving us still holding the bag, still needing help, still wanting some input, any input on what steps we should take to help our situation resolve itself.   The truth is moms of one are just as capable of feeling like they are drowning and overwhelmed with their duties as any other mom. Our challenges look differently, certainly, but that does not make them any less valid.   As I've written before, we have the child who is at our elbow constantly, and most likely the child is constantly (and I do mean constantly!) talking to us. A running dialogue is heard from when they get up until they go to bed at night. It's tiring and frustrating to read the same sentence 6 times and to still not know what we are reading because of the constant verbiage. Our reading may amount to a homeschooling how-to book, a recipe for tonight's dinner, or the mail.   We may have a child who has large challenges in learning to read. Just because we don't have 3 other children to maintain while we work with the one doesn't mean that we feel the challenge any less than any other mom.   Another thought is to be aware that each individual has their own level of metabolism, stamina, and perspective. Someone with 10 children may be a very laid back person and able to handle it all, but someone else with 10, may be more high strung. Through God's grace both are able to take care of "business" with their families, but it will both look & feel totally different. Same goes with those with one child. I know a mom that is "go, go, go" (at least in my book!) and I'm much more of a homebody. Neither way is "correct" or "incorrect." It's the best way for each individual woman, for each individual family. My metabolism, stamina, level of "overwhelmed-ness" (yes, I know, not a word), or energy levels won't be the same as yours. We are individuals.   As a whole, we all seem to be so quick to judge others by our standards, and it should not be! At the same time, we end up judging ourselves with someone else's lifestyle/standards, no matter the family size. Those who have only one do this to themselves just as much as any other. "'So-and-so' is doing so much and runs seemingly nonstop to all those soccer games, art classes, and church activities for all her kids, I should be able to do more than I do. I'm a failure!" It could be that our stamina isn't as great as good ol' so-and-so's. Nothing's wrong with So-and-so and nothing's wrong with us!! We have abilities and strengths that others don't have, just as they have that which we don't. Each has to walk in humility, knowing our limitations, yet striving to push ourselves so we don't end up taking the status quo as our part-in-life., following the Call we have on our own life. We each may feel overwhelmed at times, where we are just treading water about to go under for the final time. Family size might or might not have anything to do with it, and family size certainly shouldn't be used to see how one measures up in this life.   As Jesus told Peter, when Peter asked about John's future, "What concern is it of yours? You follow Me." (John 21:19-22) We need to give grace to those around us.     Donna Conner lives with her husband, Glenn, their son, Mike, and their beloved dog, Lucia, and calls Fort Worth, Texas home. Donna and Glenn have been homeschooling their son since the beginning of his education. Mike completes his homeschooling within the next two years. Donna is an artist and has always enjoyed writing. She wrote Homeschooling Only One three years ago, after discovering that there were many other families homeschooling only one child. Her website is devoted to those with only one student in their homeschool, with listings of online resources. You can visit her website at http://donnac.com and read her blog at http://homeschoolblogger.com/DonnaC   copyright © 2006 Donna Conner All rights reserved. Content may not be reproduced in any form without written permission of author, except in the case of brief passages embodied in critical reviews and articles where the title and author are listed

Related Tags: homeschooling, homeschool, home school, home education, one, single, only, child, fallacy, support, limits, limitations, strengths, capable