When confronted with an emergency, a time of forced inactivity, it's hard for a homeschooling wife & mother who may have committments and a normally busy schedule to lay life aside and be stuck on the couch. Being forced onto the couch when your child is young might just take some "self talk" to get you through. You have to get over the feelings of "staying up with grade/age levels" or not having to "catch up" -- that goes with homeschooling itself, but even more so during a family emergency. There is a light at the end of the tunnel, for those who are just starting out on the homeschool journey. There will be a time where your child will become more independent in their schoolwork. It just takes them time to get more mature and more aware of deadlines and such---don't even expect it until they are 12. If your child is younger than that and able to stay on track with minimal input from you, then you are blessed. I have been "stuck on the couch" for the past 3 months, more or less, and it's not completely over yet. But as far as the homeschooling goes, it has been a bit easier since my son is 17 now and quite independent on his schoolwork.

We have been doing year-round school for many years, so we could take off a week here and there and still get plenty of days in to cover academics. Mike has stayed up with his studies, while I've been remiss in staying on top of my part (a neglected chore that I plan to tackle this weekend). He only had to take off 2 weeks -- the week I was in the hospital and the following week when he & I were at my dad's. (I was there a week to get rested so I could handle the stairs at home--daytime I'm upstairs here, but the bedroom is downstairs, so I had to be able to handle the stairs in the morning and at bedtime. Mike was there to share in my care with my dad.)

Relying on friends and family is an important thing to do when you are "laid up." Allowing help and asking for help are both things that can be humbling, but it's good for one's growth, as well as survival during the down time. Mike has successfully attended a 10-week course through one of my homeschool support groups, either taken by my husband or picked up and returned by a friend. I've received about 2 weeks worth of meals. And I've had to ignore my housework, all for more than the last 3 months.

It all started back at the beginning of July when I had appendicitis-like pain on my lower left side (allowing me to know it wasn't an appendicitis). Most of July was taken up with doctor appointments and sonograms. The doctor allowed me a trip I had already planned (and had tickets in hand) to Florida at the end of July, which was a major blessing. Once I got back at the beginning of August, more tests confirmed I was going to need surgery. By the end of August, I was staying home all the time and the pain was definitely worse with vibrations from being in a car. Waiting out for my October 3rd surgery had narrowed my world greatly.

Forced inactivity is an interesting phenomenon. Standing and walking were painful. Sitting or lying down were the the only acceptable positions. All of the uncompleted projects and chores surrounded me. When in pain, it's easier to ignore such things, although they can get under your skin. The more I rested and waited, and the more the pain lessened because of the forced rest, and therefore the more I had to remind myself that the time would come where I could get these chores & projects done. Then I had the surgery... I only started feeling as well as pre-surgery last week. I haven't gotten to the "pre-pain"/pre-July stage yet, but every day is better than the day before.

I saw the doctor yesterday and I've been given the "all-clear" to pick my life back up and resume normal activities as I feel up to them. She told me that there will be good days followed by bad days for the next three to four months yet, before I suddenly, out of the blue, will realize that I'm not in pain or that I'm feeling better than ever.

Yesterday, was a full day of being out-and-about. My husband drove me to the appointment, then took me out to lunch. We then stopped at a gift/card shop so I could pick up thank you notes. I had to sit down and let Glenn do the transaction as I was starting to hurt and get a bit shakey. Glenn also had an errand to run at Northern Tool (out of the way normally, but on the way home from the doctor), so we stopped there. When we got there, I sat at the checkout while he found the items he needed. It took me several hours at home to recover enough just to phone my parents to let them know I had gotten the doctor's approval on my recovery. So, although I've been "released," I'm not there yet -- to the place of picking up "real life" and hitting the floor running, like normal.

Currently, I'm seeing all of the neglected chores that need to be done. Now is the time to start making small steps in the tackling of them... Now is the time to ignore the forest and concentrate on the trees, but one at a time. I'm so ready to get back to life, but it's still a day-to-day kind of thing. Learning to not tackle it all and to be satisfied with small progress, this is what I need to focus on. (For a perfectionist, all-or-nothing, it's an important lesson. Maybe I'll actually be able to learn this and retain it.)

So, life really does move (and move quickly) when one is stuck on the couch, but there are lessons to learn even there... God is good ALL the time!

Donna Conner lives in Fort Worth, TX with her husband, Glenn, their son, Mike, and their dog, Lucia. Donna and Glenn have been homeschooling their son since the beginning of his education. Mike completes his homeschooling within the next two years. Donna is an artist and has always enjoyed writing. She wrote Homeschooling Only One three years ago, after discovering that there were many other families homeschooling only one child. Her website is devoted to those with only one student in their homeschool, with listings of online resources. You can visit her website at http://donnac.com and read her blog at http://homeschoolblogger.com/DonnaC

copyright © 2006 Donna Conner

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