Why all this talk of splinters and drawing salve? 

Most have heard of the analogy about the Body of Christ and the stubbed toe. When one small part is hurt the whole is in pain and it's hard to function with that one out of order. Also that each part has an important part to play--we all can't be eyes or feet, etc., nonetheless the small part's function can be just as important as the "big" parts. This analogy confers to the homeschooling community as a whole also.

Sometimes it's hard to jump in or get involved in a homeschool group when you have only one child. It seems everyone else's family is made up of many children. When you do look beyond the differences and join a group, oftentimes the needs of the one-child family are overlooked, or questions that arise are not answered. Replies of "Oh, you have it sooo easy because you only have the one!" instead of helpful constructive insights on "how to teach a child to read" (for example) are offered. Our questions, our concerns, our struggles play second fiddle in hearing how we have it soooo much better and easier. It just means that you have to work harder at being heard, just be gentle as well as persistent in your approach.

Just as I never realized how much I needed a ring finger to type comfortably or quickly, we may never know how many lives we touch just by being in a homeschool support group. It may not even be about "us" and our needs. Something you say or just the smile you give to another hard-working homeschool mom--the ripples from such a simple act can touch more people than you realize. You may have the key to unlocking another mom's problem with her child, and if you were not in that group, the Lord would have to work in another way, not through you. Being a part of the whole can be about our ministering to the other parts whereas if we were not there, they might not get the same kind of ministry they needed. Sometimes we may choose to remain in the group that does not help us, so that we may help them. (We just may need to find another outlet to find help for ourselves with another group or an online group.)

And what about when it is "about us"? Just because we have only one student to deal with, doesn't mean our needs are less. Sometimes we may need to repeat our request or seek out a mom who is willing to understand and find help for us. The injury in my finger gave me pain, which made me seek out a solution since I could not just pluck the splinter out. I needed something more. So if you do find yourself in a group that seems to overlook your needs or questions, you may need to seek out an individual who may be more approachable.

The part you play in your local homeschool group can be a part which enriches the whole, helps other parts, and helps the whole to see those with only one student as an equal. This part has immeasurable value and if you are not plugged in, that value is lost. If you are not in a homeschool group, please consider to look in your area and find one.

Yes, there are groups where you may not fit in, and nor should you be expected to mesh with those whose teaching methods or worldviews will not encourage you or help your child. (If they are always bad-mouthing unschooling while they use a traditional method; or if they bad-mouth a "school at home" approach because they are more relaxed or use a literature-based program--they may not be in a place to hear your input, and the environment may not be condusive to your child's needs. There are times we are called to be the voice "calling in the wilderness," no matter which "camp" you find yourself, but there are times when you need real support. It is definitely a decision needing prayer.)

Another side of this is to not disparage the idea of an online homeschool support group. I will always encourage you to join an in your community support group, having people in-person to reach out to touch and be touched is important. Yet, you may not find a group that has an automatic heart towards those with one child, or accepts your homeschooling methods, but it's a good group and a good fit for you nevertheless. You may still feel needy for those who are using the same materials you are (Sonlight & KONOS comes to mind), or for those who understand where you are coming from having only one child. Seeking out others who can help support you with those needs can be a helpful thing. You may already get a lot of support, camaraderie, mom-support, and possibly some co-op classes through your community group. Your child has friends and opportunities for group learning. It's a win-win situation. But you may still feel a need to connect with others. I know Sonlight has a message board that has plenty of forums to help those who use that program connect with others, gain insight on how to approach a particular subject, and gives real help. My "HOO" (Homeschooling Only One) Message Board has more than 200 members currently and there is an abundance of camaraderie, insights, help, and support for those who are there. These online groups (even here on Homeschoolblogger.com) are priceless in helping us to relate to others, connecting and being helped, as well as ministering one to another.

Be a part of the whole in your community... be a part of an online community. Without you, the whole ends up having a splinter that needs removing because you weren't there. With you, all are enriched, including yourself. Jump in! Join in! The rewards for you and for others are truly worth your time in input.

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