Is unstructured learning really abusive?  Some people equate unschooling with unstructured teaching, and hence; child abuse.  A recent tidbit on the internet had someone very upset about a 5 and 7 year old who couldn't read and write, in spite of the fact that they had very educated parents and were otherwise very well cared for. (It's the second letter down in the column)

Dana has some very thoughtful replies to the "concerned" party, and I thought I might have to come up with some opinion myself. 

There is the "It takes a village" attitude that some of us parents do not aspire to when it comes to our children.  I personally want my kids out of the village, and into the family.  I heard a wonderful analogy today about our children and how they all learn and grow at different paces.  A lady was telling me that if God had wanted all of our children to be taught in same age groups, with the same methods and time frames, that He would have had us all bearing litters of children and not individuals spaced apart. 

We choose homeschooling and unschooling because it comes natural to us.  We impart knowledge, experiences, wisdom and everyday ethics and morals to our children as necessary  and when they are mature enough to handle it.  We do our best.  Some days are more structured than others.  "School" and "Life" tend to mingle so much that there are times when we can't tell the difference.

We are also very thoughtful and we love to research methods and meanings, and we take the information we get and process it through our "focus filter" and see how it fits in with our own scheme of things.  If little Billy isn't reading at 7 years old, have we failed?  Or are we strong enough in our convictions to stand firm and be at peace with our decision and hang in there until Billy begins reading at age 11?  Do we rejoice in that achievement or do we flog ourselves and convince ourselves that we blew it and did it all wrong?  After all, if Billy just started reading at 11, it must mean that he is going to be a failure, right???

Wrong.  Rejoice and stand firm in your decision, and in Billy, Susie and little Johnny's skills and triumphs for what they are to them.  Your children are unique, don't try to force them into someone elses idea of what or who they should be.   I have said it before, and will keep saying it until I no longer have breath:  We were created with a thirst for knowledge, and nothing will stand in our way.  Whether we are children or adults, we were meant to learn and grow.  At our own pace. 

Get yourself and your thinking out of that standardized rat race.

So tell me, which is really abusive: loving your child for who he/she is and helping them to learn at their own pace, or:

sending them to someone else who doesn't love them as much as you do, hasn't invested as much time or emotion in them as you have, and to a place where they are only a part of the herd. 

And we know that is only part of the equation. 

Is it abusive to send your child to a place where they are taught that they are desendants of monkeys, or even slime?  Where they are taught that it is O.K. to end a baby's life for convenience? Where it is O.K. for  two people of the same gender to marry each other?  Where immodesty and promiscuity are both encouraged and ignored?  Where profanity is encouraged and used by those in "charge?"  I could go on.

Nope, I will keep my kids here with me where I can teach them that they are special, that their lives have a purpose and a plan.  I will continue to teach them that there are consequences to sin, and that yes, sin does exist and not just in the imaginations of a few deluded people, according to those who don't believe in God.  Sin, consequences and the Lord himself are as real as the air that we  breathe.

Ok, well, on that note I just want to thank you all for faithfully stopping by the front porch and reading my unschooling thoughts.  I think that even though this is always a "tough" subject, because unschooling still is largely misunderstood, that we must keep the dialogue going.  Each and every brand of unschooling is STILL going to be unique.  I hope that we can open each other's eyes to the beauty of our children, and their capacity to learn AND to be forever teaching us as we watch them grow.

Praising God for my children today~

Homeschooling Is Life!

Nancy