I'd like to pretend that we're sitting down, having a chat over a tall cup of tea (or your beverage of choice).  Lemonade on a hot summer day?  Water with a slice of lemon?  Here's my side of the conversation.  There's more than one thing on my mind today.

I've been enjoying the latest issue of The Old Schoolhouse Magazine.  Let me rephrase that.  I've been totally blessed, and in turn, blessing my family.  I know this doesn't sound "high school" but I'll get to that.  Deb Wuehler's article "Who's Driving the School Bus, Anyway?",  in a nutshell, it's about yielding to our husband's wishes - and she underlines the different subjects they've done in school, her husband's wishes and her responses.  Sometimes you read something and it grabs you.  Let me (once again) rephrase; The Lord uses it to change your heart.  I could really get into this topic and make it the whole column, but there's so much more I want to say.  I'll try and be brief.

I'm a lawyer.  NOT REALLY, but hear me out.  Without a written contract signed by both my husband and I, I have considered his desires as mere suggestions.  No, we've never done a real "written contract," I'm trying to make a point.  It's my homeschool, and he's at work all day.  Thank you for your suggestion, now I'll do it the way I see fit."  Well, that flows into many other areas of our lives besides just homeschool.  And you know, he doesn't have a "written contract" mentality.  He is making suggestions a lot of the time.  Sometimes strong suggestions, but he gives me that flexibility.  Thing is, I take great liberties.  What does this have to do with teens?  Everything.

If your children are small, know this; they are watching you closer than you think.  They will consider what you teach them verbally, yes - but more than that they will mimic your life.  It's a scary thought, and I've had to spend plenty of time on my knees in repentance as I've seen my teens play out my bad habits and attitudes.

One of my greatest frustrations is when my teens take what I'm asking as mere suggestions and then do what they want.  I am very ashamed to say that they often do not respond until I use the word "grounded."  By this time in their life, they should be very quick to respond the first time.  I don't want to be unrealistic though - there is a place where teens do begin to push against, and it is part of them forming their own independance.  It has to be kept in check, however.  I'm talking about things like, "I'd like you in bed by midnight." or "call me if you're going to be late."  Without the "written contract" things are too often seen as suggestions, and we are working on this.

Bad behavior and bad  habits can really mess up any homeschool.  Our teens model for our younger children, and we model for our teens (when they were the younger, and now).  I know that it begins with me.

We've had the best week, and much of that is due to Deb Wuehler's article in The Old Schoolhouse Magazine.  I've been thinking to myself "What would please my husband?" in every aspect of the day.  It truly is the same as "What would please the Lord?" because in living that out we are pleasing the Lord.  I know it has not been lost on my teens, younger children, and most of all my husband.  The home is lighter, more joyful, and more peaceful.

The curriculum we choose is not half as important as how we exemplify Christ in our lives, daily.  You've heard it said, our children need to know how to do laundry and work a budget as much as they need academics.  More important than that, we need to be a vibrant, vital part of the body of Christ, and that can first be practiced in the Christian home.  I want more for my children than getting good grades, getting accepted into our college of choice, getting a good job, getting married, going on the mission field, answering our calling whatever that may be.  I want them to live Christ in this life.  They are great kids, and shun the obvious evils in the world.  I'm talking about the less obvious stuff - too much time on the computer, laziness, procrastination, etc.  Are those things we all struggle with?  Yes, they are responsible for their own relationship before God, and "My mother didn't model Christ" will not be a good excuse on Judgment Day.

That does not take away the extreme importance that we have  as parents to model Christ for our children - for our teens.  Seems like a no-brainer and it is.  Yet there are hundreds of opportunities a day to chose the high road or the low road.  I admit it, I too often take the low road.  Then I moan when I see my teens taking the low road.  I want my teens on the high road.  I have an opportunity to homeschool them all the way through high school.  What a shame to throw that opportunity away on keeping my bad habits and behavior.  We can't do it on our own, we must go to the Lord often.  He will meet with us.  Prayer changes things - prayer changes me.

Well I did it - used up the whole time on that one topic.  There was more I wanted to say - another article that blessed me; "The New Hope Through Vision Therapy."  I believe we have some issues with this, and want to look into it further. I also wanted to talk about the avenues my teens have pursued because homeschooling lent them the opportunity.  I'll either write about those on my own blog, or save them for another column here, on the Front Porch.

Take full advantage of this time with your teens.  Homeschool through high school, and above all, exemplify Christ in your own life, moment by moment, by His grace.  That, and simply praying for them will make the greatest difference in the lives of your children - your teens.

Deb Turner (Homeschooling from the Heart)
The Old Schoolhouse Magazine
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