While this tip isn't really about homeschooling, it is about day to day life.  I believe that addressing these issues will have a real impact on the whole education of your children and I pray that something here will be a blessing to you in your journey. 

I am not fond of the term “TEEN”.  I do not like the imagery that comes to the minds of most people and I do not like the implied license for rebellion that comes with it! I also don’t like how it seems as if the moment they turn 13 they continually get asked whether or not they have a boyfriend/girlfriend.  What?  They can’t even consider marriage until after age 18…  so WHY start down that road so prematurely? Funny how our society expects “teens” to be rebellious, out of control and unable to be responsible, but in the same breath encourages them to pursue romantic relationships at such a tender age!  

From the time, my firstborn began to approach the dreaded TEEN years I started preparing her for OUR FAMILY’S expectation.  My speeches to her (and subsequent speeches to the up and coming younger brothers) went something like this: 

As you get older you will need different things than what you needed when you were littler, but no matter what anyone tells you there is no excuse for your emotions to rule over you and to spill out on others.  As you grow, you should be maturing, not becoming more selfish.  

You may need friend time, but we have family standards about who, when, where, what and how much time will be allowed.  Our decisions are final, but respectful requests will be prayerfully considered. 

You may find that you need a little time to yourself and while you will be expected to help with younger siblings often, WE are their parents and we will respect that you need a little quiet time each day just like we do.

You may feel more tired or more emotional, but you (and I) must continually practice displaying the fruit of the Spirit.  We are to glorify God in ALL that we say and do (and even think!) and then, take it a step further and be a blessing to others so that they may see the glory of God and be encouraged to love and serve Him also!

Rather than falling into the trap that your family is stupid, learn that we are the best friends that God has given us.  We can be your best resource, your truest confidante, your trusted advisor, and counselor. As you get older we will move more and more toward friendship, but that does not mean that I don’t still outrank you! J 

We will hold you to a high and absolute standard of modesty, purity, respect, honesty and all other Biblical values. Our decisions will not be effected by what EVERYONE ELSE is doing.  Our decisions will be made prayerfully and will be firmly enforced. 

We believe you should do what we say because God has placed us in authority over you.  We will try not to just expect you to do what we say because we say so, but will try to teach you the what, the how and the why of our family’s values.  HOWEVER, unless you are being asked to do something potentially harmful or sinful you are expected to submit to our leadership regardless of whether or not we offer you an explanation.  You may ask respectful questions, but whining and complaining is not tolerated.

We will make mistakes and so will you.  We will work through them together. 

Just as when you were a tiny baby you were a child, but just a little, tiny child that had a lot of child-things left to learn…  when you turn 13 you move from the child part of our family into the adult part of our family.  You still have many adult-things to learn, but you are to be in the process of putting away childish things and becoming a Godly Woman/Man.  

At this writing my three oldest children hear this theme and its many variations daily.  And I am sure my two youngest are listening, not only to the words, but to the actions.   

Be prayful.  Be diligent. Be a blessing!  

Lovingly and Prayerfully,

Christina

Christina and her family are in their 11th year of homeschooling.  They believe that it CAN be done despite the many challenges of life! Every member of a family brings its own unique needs and blessings.  Maybe some of what they have learned can be a blessing to YOU!

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