I know that we all deal with the feeling of guilt, some more times than not. This is a reprint of a column I wrote last year. I think it bears repeating. ~~Donna

Guilt....

It breathes down the back of our necks and whispers accusingly in our ear. Its thick, wet, wool blanket paralyzes us with its heaviness. The Could've, Would've, Should've Chorus discordantly rings in our mind. Nothing is right. Nothing is good enough.

Housekeeping is never up to par. Parenting skills always need improvement. How we are as children to our adult parents, how we treat friends and extended family never hits the mark. There is so much more we could do as we homeschool our children. Whether we get up in the predawn hours or sleep late, whether we burn the midnight oil or fall asleep in our dinner plates--it all makes no difference.

We weigh too much or don't exercise enough. Busy with the home fires, we don't do enough for church or community, or else we are neglecting our husbands and children while we chair committees, man prayer circles, or feed the homeless. We fill our homeschool day with too much fun...or too much academics. When we're sick, we cannot allow ourselves to be sick and rest, allowing our bodies the time to heal. When we're well, we push ourselves so much we can become sick. The pressures of not being "all we can be" battles with the need to die to self. Yet we can still be accused of being a martyr or even too hedonistic.

Guilt finds us whether rightfully or not. Yet so often, guilt's voice is only the empty gong of condemnation echoing within our soul. Condemnation is a heavy burden which no amount of effort can lift. "Never good enough" hammers us down into the mud.

The scale of absolute right and wrong lives within each heart. When the scale is tipped with sin, we know it. Guilt is the natural response to wrong-doing. Condemnation comes from the enemy of our soul:  he who comes to kill, steal, and destroy. Conviction is a totally different animal however. It is the gentle urging of the Holy Spirit which directs the hammer of conviction so it may beat upon us, but only to mold us, shape us, refine us. In this manner we may, through repentance, come back to reconciliation and right-standing before God. Although conviction may weigh us down, it is a means for us to shed the weight of wrong-doing before a loving Judge. By following conviction's path, we find freedom. If we follow condemnation's path, we only become more ensnared by the quicksand that drags us ever down.

Measuring our choices and being open to conviction to change our direction is how we ought to live our lives. As homeschool moms, it matters little if we have one child or several. We are all easily buffeted by the winds of condemnation as well as conviction. Guilt and condemnation need to be fought (although we do weigh those thoughts making sure conviction is not the true underlying voice).

Guilt.

We all deal with it.

Fight the condemnation.

Welcome the conviction.

Walk in the freedom that is yours in Christ.

Donna Conner lives in Fort Worth, TX with her husband, Glenn, their son, Mike, and their dog, Lucia. Donna and Glenn have been homeschooling their son since the beginning of his education. Mike completes his homeschooling this year. Donna is an artist and has always enjoyed writing. She wrote Homeschooling Only One five years ago, after discovering that there were many other families homeschooling only one child. Her website is devoted to those with only one student in their homeschool, with listings of online resources. You can visit her website at  http://donnac.com and read her blog at: http://www.homeschoolblogger.com/DonnaC

copyright © 2008 Donna Conner ~~ All rights reserved. Content may not be reproduced in any form without written permission of author, except in the case of brief passages embodied in critical reviews and articles where the title and author are listed.