Someone started a thread on the Homeschooling Only One message board (affectionately called HOOville) concerning ages. Of the 21 ladies who chose to be totally honest about their ages, one is in her late 20s, eight are in their 30s, 10 in their 40s, and 2 in their 50s. The general realization for most of them has been that when one hits their forties, they’ve in essence found their voice. My 50th birthday happens to be tomorrow and I have found the same for myself. I have become more confident in myself in my forties. I grew up being a pretty quiet “wallflower” who didn’t really want to be noticed. For example, I found in my 30s and 40s that it was OK to ask a salesclerk for help instead of wandering through a store for over an hour hoping to find the item for which I was searching. Several ladies were quite quotable and I felt that you might be encouraged in reading their thoughts.

One shared, “When you know who you are, you can make goals that are going somewhere instead of a dead end. I felt like when I was younger I wasn't totally certain about what I wanted in life and there were so many questions about it.” Another shared, “Love the 40's!! I'll take them over the 20's & 30's any day!!! 40 must be when you start to actually like yourself, flaws and all.” And yet another wrote, “I agree that the 40's seem to be better. My attitude has completely changed. I realize that the things that I obsessed about in my younger years just seem trivial now. I find I'm less materialistic and more grateful for just having the basic necessities that God provides. Food, clothing, shelter. Anything above that is a gift, but not needed (even though the world will try to convince you that it is ).”

One of our 30-somethings shared, “Interesting what everyone has said about 40s, since that is how I've felt the last couple of years since turning 30... I wonder how much of that has to do with how long we've been married and settled into our life as opposed to age...” Another agreed, “30's have been good to us so far…. So maybe it is part age, part life stage...” My opinion has always been “Age is a state of mind!” Birthdays are meant to be celebrated and the numbers are only that, numbers: the number of years one has been on this earth. Another lady shared another aspect to the aging process, “I agree that the 40s are better. It is because our brains are still developing even in our 30s. Our ability to grasp the big picture grows through the 30s (or at least early 30s). After that it takes more and more effort to improve the brain. It is always possible, just more and more difficult--so go find something new to learn today!!”

This spurred on another thread which asked the important question of how we “stay young.” There were several who answered this thread. I think one of the most telling was this one:

“All the more reason to homeschool—I learn new stuff all the time!!”

Others gave lots of differing (and yet similar) answers. Learning alongside of their child helped them to stay young and keep their brain sharp. Others are relearning a language, studying etymology (word/phrase origins), cultural literacy, and actually writing. Others have taken outside classes and learned new skills such as gardening, quilting, and baking bread. A vast majority mentioned reading—and reading a LOT. Playing games such as Sudoku, crosswords, Scrabble, WordJong, Mahjong, and word searches, as well as playing FreeCell and Spider Solitaire on the computer. Even having an outside job or volunteering, or participating in community theater were mentioned in keeping one young.

So… how do YOU stay young, keep your brain sharp and in gear? Try to never find yourself stagnating. It’s hard to even think in those terms as a homeschool mom, I think. We’re so very busy staying on top of what our children need to learn and how to best serve them, but if we aren’t willing to learn new things, challenge ourselves, how can we stay “on top of our own game”? What happens when our children graduate? Do we rest on our laurels and slowly turn to dust to be blown away? I think not. I think we need to continue challenging ourselves, stretching ourselves to learn new things. Recapture an interest from our earlier days, or delve more deeply into a passion we have always had. Stay sharp, moms! The future is coming and you can be just as vibrant as you are in your role as a homeschool mom. 

Donna Conner lives in Fort Worth, TX with her husband, Glenn, their son, Mike, and their dog, Lucia. Donna and Glenn have been homeschooling their son since the beginning of his education. Mike completes his homeschooling this year. Donna is an artist and has always enjoyed writing. She wrote Homeschooling Only One five years ago, after discovering that there were many other families homeschooling only one child. Her website is devoted to those with only one student in their homeschool, with listings of online resources. You can visit her website at  http://donnac.com and read her blog at: http://www.homeschoolblogger.com/DonnaC

copyright © 2008 Donna Conner ~~ All rights reserved. Content may not be reproduced in any form without written permission of author, except in the case of brief passages embodied in critical reviews and articles where the title and author are listed.