Special Words for Special Needs ~ Bridging the Caregiving Gap
1:12 AM, Jun. 19, 2009
Happy Father's Day! Welcome to Special Words for Special Needs. Father's day is this weekend and around the Porch we are talking about dads.
Jokes about inept father's abound. Watch a sitcom on TV and you see a mom who picks up the newborn and knows exactly what to do. While the dad is on the phone with his mother with a screaming, wet baby. Is that true?
When you are blessed with a normal child you can learn as you go. When the Lord blesses you with a special child you may be plunged into a world of medical devices, NICUs, blood tests, or multiple doctor appointments. This takes time and usually time in the middle of the day when the wage earner, usually dad must be at work. Mom becomes the expert at which way to give medicine. Which nurse to talk to when you call the pediatrician. When and how to get the whole family to the therapists office and home again before dinner. This leaves dad doing a vitally necessary task but one that separates him from the family.
How can dad then become a caregiver and expert like mom?
1. Be the servant leader of your house. When you step up, I know from a wife's stand point, the stress is lessened. I know that I am not alone with these large decisions.
2. Learn as much as possible about your child's issue. Take the time to look it up online. Read books about it. If it is a condition that has an organization attached such as MDA call them and talk to a counselor or nurse about your child's needs. If your child has a stomach pump or other medical device take the time to fully understand and know how to care for it.
3. Family time is golden. Gather together for dinner, Bible reading, talking playing a board game. Togetherness is what counts.
4. Take your wife away from the hustle and bustle. Date nights are nice but I have rarely had the chance. Instead setting a pillow and tea on the back porch after the kids are asleep can be a pleasant evening. Ask over a relative and go to the local coffee shop and relax.
5. Dad's carefully tend your marriage. The divorce rate is high in families with special needs children. If your marriage is heading down a bad path seek help. Talk to your minister or counselor. Silence is not golden when a beautiful thing blessed by the Lord is falling apart.
Dads I hold you in such high respect. I was blessed with a wonderful dad. Then the Lord blessed me with a wonderful husband who adores our children. Thank you for your time, love and devotion to your family. God bless you all!
Heather lives in West Virginia. She and her husband have been homeschooling their 5 children for 7 years. Due to a genetic disorder their children have multiple special needs. Living life to the fullest for the glory of God is their goal! Visit Heather's page at www.homeschoolblogger.com/gfcfmomofmany/
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