Last month (the beginning of Sept.)  I found out  that I had cancer.  In the big  scheme of life,  my cancer is not a big deal.  The official name of it is Soft Tissue Sarcoma.  I did not need chemo or radiation, but I did need surgery.  The last two months have been very intense for our family.  Even though my cancer was a tiny blip on our lives, it was still cancer.  No matter how small the cancer is, you are still obligated to go through all of the emotions and levels of grieving that are associated with the bigger types of cancer. 

God had prepared my heart for the diagnosis two weeks beforehand.  I knew, when I stepped into the surgeon's office to get the results of my biopsy, that I would be hearing the C word.  God gave me an amazing calm and peace as the cancer word floated around the room.  Even though my heart was prepared, my family was not.  This, literally, blew them away.  I watched as my children became little cling-ons.  It didn't matter where I was but I had three little people stuck to my side.  I think they were afraid that if they blinked I would disappear and they didn't want to take that chance.  They asked me a gazillion times a day how I was feeling.   Where there was once  onfidence,  was now a puddle of insecurity and fear.

I knew that there was no way we could continue on with our schooling,  at least not the way we were doing it.   My kids' heads were not in the game, so to speak.  I knew we were in no condition to do academics but I also knew that I needed to replace my kids knowledge of all things cancer with poetic knowledge.  Their souls had been depleted with that cancer word and I needed to fill them up with all things beautiful, true, and good.  I began to think of ways to do this.  

I decided to keep on with our Morning Time.  This would be the anchor of our day.  This time would give our day comfort and meaning.  During this time, we read the Bible, did Latin sporadically, read Shakespeare, Greek mythology, poetry, Plutarch, nature stories, and our read aloud.  These readings soothed our souls.  They comforted our aching hearts.  They gave us stability during a time when we felt blown around by the wind.  

We still did math and reading but that was not done everyday.  When we were having a strong day then we attempted the basics  but when the tears and fears  took residence in my children's lives, then we just had our Morning Time.

Another thing we did every day  was to go for a walk.  We used this time to fill our beings with the blessings of God's Creation.  Not only were these walks a form of nature study but they also became a chance to talk about what was happening in our lives. During these walks, my dd and I had some really good talks about cancer and how it was affecting us.

It has almost been two months since my diagnosis.  I had my surgery at the end of September.  We are still waiting pathology reports as to whether the cancer is completely gone, but I am already confident that it is.  Even though my body has healed, our emotions still have that bruised and battered feeling.   I thought at the beginning of this little ordeal  that once the surgery was over, that life (learning) would get back to the way that it was.  I was wrong.  We are still in need of comfort,  of just being together.  So I have decided that we will continue with  just doing our Morning Time and the basics of math, reading, and copywork until Christmas.  We will then evaluate and see if we are ready for a more scheduled day.

What I am about to say will sound very bizarre, but I am now able to consider cancer a gift.  Cancer has given us the joy of just being together, of being able to see the beauty that God's Creation offers, of having first hand knowledge that God is El-Elyon, the One who is in control.  He has brought us through this storm a bit stronger and a bit wiser. Thank you, Lord, for this priceless gift. 

Julia lives on the Canadian Prairie with her husband, homeschooling their 3 children (10,8,6) and is attempting to give them a Classical Education.  You can read more at her blog.

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