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Homeschooling Only One ~ A Fifteen Year Old's Question
Posted 2:12 AM, Jul. 25, 2008
A week or so ago, I had a dear friend's 15-year-old daughter give me a letter asking for a response. Due to a conference she attended, she was challenged to ask an adult, "What do you wish you knew when you were my age?" As she mulled this over, she felt the Lord encourage her to ask several people, of all "persuasions" (friends, family, Christ followers, Non-Christ follwers, acquaintances, and so forth). She may write or do some sort of art piece from the answers. With her permission, I share with you my response to her question. It doesn't really have anything to do with homeschooling (although she is and has been homeschooled) or with having only one child (she's the oldest of four). But it is a challenge to all of us, to look back and ponder what would be something we would have liked to know "if we knew now..." My first paragraph concerned watching the internet broadcast of this past week's sermon. LifeChurch.tv does a sermon series based on movies for the month of July each year. They are only broadcast during the weekend Experiences (worship times) and online both on Sunday at 11:30am Central USA time and Tuesday evening, 8pm Central USA time. They are not archived since they do use clips of particular movies (a different one each week). This week was based on "The Bucket List" and was quite poignant. I encouraged her that she ought to make time to watch it on Tuesday (July 22nd). I thought specifically of her during the sermon Sunday morning (July 20) and thought she ought to watch it. (She and her family attend the same church we do, but she had not been able to attend church last Sunday.) This particular one won't be saved, so no one here will be able to access it, but if you're interested, you can watch this coming Sunday's (on July 27 and 29). It will be the last one for this year's "At the Movies" series. I continued my reply with the following.... Fifteen... I turned 50 this year. I never thought of myself "being" 40 or 50. Thirty, I think I might have thought of in some form or fashion at some point... figured I'd have kids and be settled into my own family by 30. Mike (our firstborn) arrived the September after the April I turned 31. So at 30, I didn't "have" all I thought I would by that age. In fact, I felt his first kick on my 31st b'day so that was pretty monumental for me. What does that mean to you, now, at 15? I'm not sure... maybe that what you envision for your life now (for then) may look TOTALLY different then than what you see now... Plus, 15 is incredibly YOUNG. Realize that your life has barely begun. Traumas and heartaches now (and in the ensuing several years), however hard to walk through, might be seen in later years as "nothing" or mere bumps in the road. I'm not trying to minimize or invalidate those bumps and traumas and heartaches that you may have now (or in the next 5 to 10+/- years), but in the larger picture, the highs & potential lows -to-come- will truly make these upheavals diminish in size. Often 15-year olds see everything in the NOW, and the tragedy of things that happen to them...well, the way they see the situations they find themselves within are soooo tragic and sooooo large, and it's just not true. (Although adults around them need to remember that for this age, it IS tragic and horrible and traumatic to the young lady who is experiencing them, in her perception.) The young lady (or young man) just needs to remember that perception is not reality. The last few years of one's life (at 15, meaning from even 8yrs old to 15 years old) are so full of change (with hormones and such; learning to be one's own self, not just an extension of one or both of your parents; challenging one's family beliefs, even in a small way, making them your own, etc.). There is just a LOT of change. Knowing that life does settle out and although we are always challenged (in different ways and methods), things do settle down some. Usually. ;) That is something that would have been nice to know at 15 (or even 19...) for myself. I think another thought would be that no matter what you have to walk thru, that if you have a personal relationship with Jesus, He will walk through those situations (your life, period.) with you. You don't have to be alone. There may be desert experiences and times, but hang tight with Him and no matter the outcome, it will work out. Even if the outcome ends up in Heaven ultimately and you don't see one "good" thing in the here-and-now. I have lived WITH Him since I was 10. That's when I invited Him in. He's walked me thru a cross-country move (after living in CA the longest I had EVER lived ANYWHERE which was a little traumatic, but not horrible--I was 10), my parents' divorce when I was 19 (pretty traumatic for ANYONE, no matter their age!), thru the birth & life of a special needs baby (very high needs) and through his death. I guess that's my answer to her question, "What do you wish you knew when you were my age (15)?" What would have been your answer?
Donna Conner lives in Fort Worth, TX with her husband, Glenn, their son, Mike, and their dog, Lucia. Donna and Glenn have been homeschooling their son since the beginning of his education. Mike completes his homeschooling this year. Donna is an artist and has always enjoyed writing. She wrote Homeschooling Only One five years ago, after discovering that there were many other families homeschooling only one child. Her website is devoted to those with only one student in their homeschool, with listings of online resources. You can visit her website at http://donnac.com and read her blog at: http://www.homeschoolblogger.com/DonnaC copyright © 2008 Donna Conner ~~ All rights reserved. Content may not be reproduced in any form without written permission of author, except in the case of brief passages embodied in critical reviews and articles where the title and author are listed. Homeschooling Only One ~ Zero Tolerance
Posted 12:51 AM, Jul. 18, 2008
To begin, I want to thank you for stopping by my Friday Column today. I'm going to have a short one this week. We've had my mom living with us for over a month now, and it's going well. I do appreciate your prayers this coming Monday; however, as she will have her first eye surgery (left eye) to remove her lenses and replace them with man-made, to take care of her cataracts. Her right eye's surgery is scheduled for August 11th. She's been dealing with a quintuple whammy--1) cataracts making sight a bit fuzzy, 2) glaucoma damage (we'll evaluate what needs to done after the cataract surgery) giving her blind spots, 3) damage consistent with strokes (she had an episode in October 2006), 4) plus the only prescription glasses she has now are sunglasses and 5) they are an old prescription! We are hoping that the cataract surgery is successful and gives her some relief from all this. So thanks for the prayers! My husband is a fan of This is True®. He forwarded one of his emails a few weeks ago and I wanted to share Mr. Cassingham's writing with you all. For those who don't know, from the website:
Zero Tolerance has definitely found its way into This is True® and he has got some great things to say about it on several of his pages. Please read: http://www.thisistrue.com/zt.html where he has some great stories and commentary. Some interesting comments from his readers are posted on http://www.thisistrue.com/zt2.html. He shows that Zero Tolerance is more than a "schoolhouse playground" issue on the third page, found here: http://www.thisistrue.com/zt3.html . Feel free to come back and post your own thoughts on Zero Tolerance. I find that this kind of thinking (really "NONthinking") takes "common sense" out of the equation. Every case is different and should be judged based solely on the situation and what is right and wrong. When we start spouting "Zero Tolerance," we start to lose caring for the individual. It sounds real nice and pro-civilization, in a way, but once authorities don't care what the individual case is about, we're all in trouble.
Donna Conner lives in Fort Worth, TX with her husband, Glenn, their son, Mike, and their dog, Lucia. Donna and Glenn have been homeschooling their son since the beginning of his education. Mike completes his homeschooling this year. Donna is an artist and has always enjoyed writing. She wrote Homeschooling Only One five years ago, after discovering that there were many other families homeschooling only one child. Her website is devoted to those with only one student in their homeschool, with listings of online resources. You can visit her website at http://donnac.com and read her blog at: http://www.homeschoolblogger.com/DonnaC copyright © 2008 Donna Conner ~~ All rights reserved. Content may not be reproduced in any form without written permission of author, except in the case of brief passages embodied in critical reviews and articles where the title and author are listed. Homeschooling Only One ~ Quiverful Comments
Posted 4:09 PM, Jul. 10, 2008
I’m really hopeful that those who have many children or have the “Quiverful Philosophy” as their own would leave some comments to share after reading this column. I pray the comments can be civil and loving, and we can truly get some good dialogue going between those who have quiverfuls and those whose quivers have only one arrow. Perhaps the comments that HOO’ers (those who Homeschool Only One) receive are not meant as they are perceived. Although for some comments, it’s hard not to assume the worse. A few examples of comments that HOO’ers have gotten, as well as the HOO’ers’ thoughts on the subject, are as follows: Tammy wrote, “I have actually had Christian ‘friends’ look down on me with sadness because I have only one. Like I somehow was cursed or God did not want to bless me as much as them. It makes me feel like I am inferior somehow.” Jennifer wrote, “The one comment that always gets to me is, ‘....you only have one so you probably don't understand’...I almost feel judged somehow by a comment like that. I have a mental dialogue going on in my head, and really try to ‘bite my tongue’ and not defend, if you will, why GOD made our family the way He did. I usually don't say anything. I've often felt hurt by silly comments people make, but realize that people just say things out of ignorance. Having an only [child] has been such a wonderful blessing, just as God planned for us..…” Carrie wrote, “I'd have several children if I could! I just wish that people could just get off this topic and leave married people to make this decision about family size before God on their own! I never judge people for their family size but I have heard all the comments ‘Hope he's not spoiled!’ ‘Don't you want a sibling for him?’ ‘You'll really know what being a mother means when you have another one.’ I've learned to answer all questions about our family's size by saying ‘why do you ask?’ This usually stops people.” Donna H. wrote, “I have never even thought of evaluating anyone's righteousness or godliness by the size of their family. If that were the case, Abraham and Sarah were not very godly, nor Elizabeth and Zachariah. Esther was an adopted (and apparently an 'only') and saved the entire Jewish nation. Was Samson an only? (Can't remember) I mentioned John the Baptist. Hannah had 'only' Samuel. And then there's Jesus (God's Only)!! … Some pretty amazing 'only's!!!!” (Hannah was blessed later in life with more children, but after being barren and then having Samuel, it was like Samuel was an only. “And the LORD visited Hannah, so that she conceived, and bare three sons and two daughters.” I Samuel 2:21.) Stacey wrote, “[I] went to one of our local home school co-op orientations [where] I got hit HARD. I walked in with DD who was 5 at the time. The lady in charge asked me why I didn't bring all of my children. I told her that I did bring all of my children. She looked shocked and said that it would be difficult for me in this particular co-op with only one child…. When I pressed the issue trying to understand what difference it made, she got testy and told me that they were very pro-family and she just felt that a person who only had one child obviously wasn't. It made me feel like they felt I was anti-family! I left very disheartened…. Another time (again at a Christian home school co-op) I was told that they only accepted families with at least 3 children. Stacey continued, “We all need to make a conscious effort to think before we speak!” Perhaps those who have strong Quiverful persuasions are just plain unthinking. As Jen wrote, “I really believe that most people who have more than one child or who never had problems conceiving a child, really [don’t] think about it. They see the verse about many children being a blessing & are excited about their own children - never really thinking about those who are in a different situation. I think they say things without really thinking at all how it sounds to others.” One can hope that it is just pure thoughtlessness which spurs on some comments. Harder to accept would be that people speak knowing that their words are hurtful. I almost feel like taking the position of the snake in the Garden, saying, “Did God really say….?” So has God actually come out and said, “You who have MANY arrows in your quiver are blessed above and beyond those who have only one or even none?” The verse that is so often used states, “Lo, children are an heritage of the LORD: and the fruit of the womb is his reward. As arrows are in the hand of a mighty man; so are children of the youth. Happy is the man that hath his quiver full of them: they shall not be ashamed, but they shall speak with the enemies in the gate.” Psalm 127:4-5 (King James Version) There is no mention of number. Yes, happy is the man whose quiver is full of those arrows, but is it an understood thing on how many arrows each man’s quiver should hold? ...must hold? God determines the number of children. A + B does not always = C, no matter how much mankind may think it does. It’s not an automatic conclusion. God opens and closes the womb. “He maketh the barren woman to keep house, and to be a joyful mother of children. Praise ye the LORD.” (Psalm 113:9 KJV) He is also the One who spoke in Isaiah 54:1: “Sing, O barren, thou that didst not bear; break forth into singing, and cry aloud, thou that didst not travail with child: for more are the children of the desolate than the children of the married wife, saith the LORD.” (KJV) I have done a bit of a study on the places in the Old Testament where it mentions the barren woman. I am no trained Bible scholar, so I may not have each point down perfect, so please give me grace. Of course, it is a place of great joy and rejoicing to be able to have many children. Especially in Old Testament times, as well as in other agricultural times and places, it was extremely important to have many children. More hands to work the fields, flocks, and herds. Those who had none were reproached and looked down on. Look at how the two sisters who married Jacob fought to have more children and used those half-brothers against one another. (Genesis 29+) And even now, I would heartily agree that it is still a great blessing to have many children. There are many pros to having a large family—sibling relationships, caring for the elderly parent, etc. There is no argument in my book against those who have many children. That choice is between husband, wife, and God. Thanks to Linda for sending links to Matthew Henry Complete Commentary on the Whole Bible online with this particular passage:
And with this passage:
I have even heard of ladies who have had direct comments saying that there must be some “hidden sin” that has caused their childlessness. Deuteronomy 7:11-14 does indeed say that if the people keep the Lord’s commandments, His statues and judgments, He will bless the fruit of their womb (no number is mentioned however), and that there shall not be male or female who are barren. It is possible that sin can indeed be an issue on why one is unable to have any children (or just one). But it is also very true that in this fallen world, the just are still afflicted with barrenness, illness, cancer, and death. However, is it the role of a fellow believer to make that judgment call pertaining to barrenness? To be hurtful and ask a woman if she has any hidden sin… don’t you think she has already spent sleepless nights petitioning to the Lord, asking Him what the answer is? Deuteronomy 7:15 says, “And the LORD will take away from thee all sickness, and will put none of the evil diseases of Egypt, which thou knowest, upon thee; but will lay them upon all them that hate thee.” I believe God’s word, but I also know that He allows things in this life which we can neither understand or fathom. Hannah also knew this, as she rejoiced at God’s giving her Samuel with words similar to Job’s “the LORD gave, and the LORD hath taken away; blessed be the name of the LORD. In all this Job sinned not, nor charged God foolishly.” (Job 1:21-22) Hannah’s words are recorded in I Samuel 2:6-7, “The LORD killeth, and maketh alive: he bringeth down to the grave, and bringeth up. The LORD maketh poor, and maketh rich: he bringeth low, and lifteth up.” Michele wrote, “I think, however, the most important thing that people miss when they ‘enforce’ the quiver-full notion on others is that the primary issue is one of obedience, to both God and our husbands. … God knows what's best for us and He knows our hearts. If we believe on that and submit to it, then where we are is where we should be—whether it's one child or many. ” Briva wrote, “I think any comment on how different you are from the 'standard' or perceived 'God's way' is wrongful judgment. God blesses each family with children or not, and it's in His timing, too. We should all rejoice with those with many, or onlies, or just a couple...a family's a family, no matter how small (or big!).” So often, we as HOO’ers feel the sting of comments about our family’s size, but often those with more children feel the sting all too often also—only directed in the other direction, and most often by the public at large, those not homeschooling. We all have to remember that “anything outside of the ‘norm’ is a target,” as Christina wrote. Job laments that those who are “evil” in this world “prey on the barren and childless woman” in Job 24:21 (KJV). The New Century Version words it this way, “These evil people abuse women who cannot have children…” So often those with only one child also fall in the category of “women who cannot have children” and the one they have was truly a miracle of God’s work. Should they continue to be abused by fellow Believers in their family size? I surely do not think so. As James said in essence, “My [sisters], this should not be.” In James 3:9-11, he wrote, “With the tongue we praise our Lord and Father, and with it we curse men, who have been made in God's likeness. Out of the same mouth come praise and cursing. My brothers, this should not be. Can both fresh water and saltwater flow from the same spring?” Why does number of children have to continue to divide the Body of Christ? Let us “rejoice with them that do rejoice, and weep with them that weep,” (Romans 12:15) instead. From all the ones I have been in contact, HOO’ers truly do rejoice with those who rejoice when they are blessed with more children. They also weep from the heart with those who have had to deal with infertility, miscarriage, and death of children. Should not the mother who has been blessed with many children not do the same?
Donna Conner lives in Fort Worth, TX with her husband, Glenn, their son, Mike, and their dog, Lucia. Donna and Glenn have been homeschooling their son since the beginning of his education. Mike completes his homeschooling this year. Donna is an artist and has always enjoyed writing. She wrote Homeschooling Only One five years ago, after discovering that there were many other families homeschooling only one child. Her website is devoted to those with only one student in their homeschool, with listings of online resources. You can visit her website at http://donnac.com and read her blog at: http://www.homeschoolblogger.com/DonnaC copyright © 2008 Donna Conner ~~ All rights reserved. Content may not be reproduced in any form without written permission of author, except in the case of brief passages embodied in critical reviews and articles where the title and author are listed. Homeschooling Only One ~ Happy Fourth of July!
Posted 10:08 AM, Jul. 3, 2008
Here's a great site with lots of 4th of July facts for you! Some quotes and other sites are here. And from About.Geography.com comes following:
Our homeschool group is going to meet today to grill, play games, and shoot off some fireworks (safely, of course!). Hope you have some festive food in store and maybe a few "big bangs" along with some "OOOOOOoooo and Ahhhhhhh" sites tonight as you celebrate our Independence Day! Please pass the watermelon for me! (Sometimes I like to sprinkle a little salt on mine - nice for that sweet & salty taste!)
Say a prayer for our servicemen tonight! Happy Fourth! Donna Conner lives in Fort Worth, TX with her husband, Glenn, their son, Mike, and their dog, Lucia. Donna and Glenn have been homeschooling their son since the beginning of his education. Mike completes his homeschooling this year. Donna is an artist and has always enjoyed writing. She wrote Homeschooling Only One five years ago, after discovering that there were many other families homeschooling only one child. Her website is devoted to those with only one student in their homeschool, with listings of online resources. You can visit her website at http://donnac.com and read her blog at: http://www.homeschoolblogger.com/DonnaC copyright © 2008 Donna Conner ~~ All rights reserved. Content may not be reproduced in any form without written permission of author, except in the case of brief passages embodied in critical reviews and articles where the title and author are listed. Homeschooling Only One ~ It’s education… Naturally.
Posted 1:27 AM, Jun. 27, 2008
Today I welcome Suzie Agnew as a Guest Columnist. Suzie is one of the HOOville Ladies (the Homeschooling Only One message board). Enjoy! Before we started homeschooling, I was a big fan of Dr. Raymond Moore’s ideas of “better late than early.” Unfortunately, I forgot to give the book to my son to read so he didn’t get the message. Considering he was walking at 10 months and running by a year, it’s no wonder that we now home educate at his pace – fast and on-the-go. When you homeschool an only child – and that ‘only’ happens to be a very, very energetic BOY – you find that you have to be creative to keep them engaged and not using the back of the couch as a launch pad during reading time. And when the gears in their minds are constantly spinning and they always want to learn more and do more, the gears in your head have to be going just as fast to keep a few steps ahead. Our son started collecting rocks when he was just 12 months old. He would pick up pebbles and pieces of broken concrete on walks around our neighborhood, stuff them into his pocket, then deposit them in his mommy’s pretty flower vase next to the bathroom sink. I should have seen the writing on the wall then that my son would be into collecting all things natural, live bugs included. One of my favorite books on home schooling is I Saw the Angel In the Marble by Chris & Ellyn Davis. I was just re-reading it the other day and noticed that he promoted keeping an aquarium set up, so that your child can bring in, identify and study any bug that they found. I wonder if that is where I got the idea and why our kitchen table now is ‘science central’ with three aquariums – one with two praying mantis eggs, one with tadpoles and one with crickets – oh, and one ant farm. Sometimes it is hard to sleep at night, thinking about all the ‘wildlife’ that I have allowed my son to bring into our home. But my son has learned an amazing amount by sitting and watching the wildlife – breakfast, lunch and dinner find him at the table, watching whatever he happens to have in an aquarium at the time. We lived in this home for around six years before our son was born. Rather, I should say, I gardened at this house for six years before our son was born. There is a big difference – as one look at my overgrown “I wish I lived in England” garden clearly shows. At last count, I had around 150 antique rose bushes, plus anything and everything that will attract birds, hummingbirds or butterflies. When we announced that we were pregnant, many people told me that I would have to tear out my gardens to make room for a swing set. I brushed aside their comments and said that my ‘jungle’ was a better place to play than any swing set. Thankfully, our boy couldn’t agree more. He loves ‘adventuring’ in our garden, looking for insects, lizards and caterpillars. He loves having bird feeders and bird baths right outside the windows. Having a garden at our fingertips has been wonderful for science experiments, such as tinting white flowers with water mixed with food coloring. If you want to get really adventuresome, try dying pink roses green. We keep a steady supply of dried and pressed botanicals on hand for craft projects, such as decorating bookmarks, making ‘leaf people’ or adding to homemade paper. Have you ever had one of those ‘perfect’ homeschooling moments? Ours happened last fall. Unbeknownst to my son, I was getting ready for us to ‘row’ the book Owl Moon by Jane Yolen, using Five in a Row. Now, we had already read that book several times the previous year, but it had sat, unread, on our shelves for months by this point. (The problem with being a bibliophile, it is hard to actually read all the books you have.) I had gone out for a walk that night after supper. As I was approaching our house, my husband and son were going outside to star gaze. We all heard an owl at the same time. He was perched on the telephone pole right behind our neighbor’s home. My son right away said, “Mom, that is so neat. Now we don’t have to go out into the woods to find an owl like they did in that book. Do you remember that book? Can we go read it?” When I told him we were going to study that book, he was so excited and couldn’t wait until morning for school – we had to read the book that night at bedtime. To our son, reading the book was like finding an old friend. But it was so much more meaningful, reading it that night, with our owl’s calls fresh in our minds. The next morning, we went for a nature walk – along the little trail beside our subdivision and out onto the old dead-end farm road behind our house. I was hoping to find an owl pellet in the wild, by the pole we spotted the owl on the night before. I actually already had some sterilized, store-bought owl pellets at home that we were going to dissect later in the day, but I thought finding one ‘in the wild’ would be more exciting. We never found any owl pellets, but we did find the shell of a deceased turtle. That started a tradition of ours – at least once a week, we start our morning with a nature walk around our neighborhood and back out on that farm road. And now I know to take a large bag to carry home our ‘treasures’ in. (The morning we found the turtle shell, I only had a small baggie with me - for an anticipated owl pellet - so I carried the shell home with my bare hands. Shudder.) We scrubbed the shell and bleached it, so that our son can touch it and play with it without worry of germs. The shell is now part of our ever-growing ‘nature collection,’ which includes seed pods, pine cones, leaves, bamboo stalks, sea shells and snail shells. And, of course, rocks. It is fascinating to see our school work woven into our daily lives. This spring, our son found a brown and furry caterpillar in the garden and promptly started reciting the poem The Caterpillar by Christina Rossetti. (Thanks to poem memorization with First Language Lessons.) Yes, the caterpillar had to come into our home, where we pulled out the field guides to identify it. Once id’d, we put the caterpillar in a cage, along with his host food, and proceeded to watch him over the next few weeks ‘spin and die to live again a butterfly,’ just as the poem says. We often do our school work outdoors, if the weather is accommodating. We have a secluded front yard, heavily shaded by a towering bur oak. I love to sit and read to my son while he pokes around the garden, looking for pillbugs. I just have to be careful, as our son loves to bring pillbugs into the house. Just the other day, I realized that our son was sitting at the school table with a pillbug in his right hand, doing his copywork with his left hand. (I am grateful that it was ‘just’ a pillbug and not a snake.) I love to pack up our school books and ‘hit the road,’ even if we are just going to the local park. Last fall, we spent some time studying trees and what better place than a picnic table along our local nature trail. We were there a few days after a big storm so I had our son pick up a bag full of twigs. We took the twigs to a picnic table where he laid them out like tally marks and we worked on skip counting by 5’s to 100. One of the most fun things we have done lately is make solar prints, with photosensitive paper. My son had the time of his life, hunting around the garden for interesting leaves and flowers to use. Who knew that a dandelion in “puff ball” stage could be flattened into a beautiful work of art?! Fennel, planted in the garden because it is a host plant for the swallowtail caterpillar, also looks fabulous as a solar print. Whether you live in the city, suburbs or in a rural area, there are ample opportunities around for ‘breathing some fresh air’ into your homeschool journey. So grab a field guide, a magnifying loupe and a bug jar today and head for the great outdoors. A few resources you might be interested in: Pets in a Jar: Collecting and Caring for Small Wild Animals by Seymour Simon Pocketful of Pinecones: Nature Study with the Gentle Art of Learning by Karen Andreola My Nature Journal: A Personal Nature Guide for Young People by Andrienne Olmstead Wild Days: Creating Discovery Journals by Karen Skidmore Rackliffe A Pillbug Project: A Guide to Investigation by Robin Burnett Picture books my son has enjoyed: Owl Moon by Jane Yolen Mary Ann by Betsy James The Salamander Room by Anne Mazer Rocks in his Head by Carol Otis Hurst Oddhopper Opera: A Bug’s Garden of Verse by Kurt Cyrus Suzie Agnew has been married for 21 years and home educates their only son, 6.5 years of age. They live and garden in North Texas, where their property is certified as a Wildscape area through the Texas Parks and Wildlife department. They share their home (on a regular basis) with a cat named "Elsie," four hermit crabs and a tankful of fish. Pillbugs, crickets and spiders come and go on a daily basis.
Donna Conner lives in Fort Worth, TX with her husband, Glenn, their son, Mike, and their dog, Lucia. Donna and Glenn have been homeschooling their son since the beginning of his education. Mike completes his homeschooling this year. Donna is an artist and has always enjoyed writing. She wrote Homeschooling Only One five years ago, after discovering that there were many other families homeschooling only one child. Her website is devoted to those with only one student in their homeschool, with listings of online resources. You can visit her website at http://donnac.com and read her blog at: http://www.homeschoolblogger.com/DonnaC copyright © 2008 Donna Conner ~~ All rights reserved. Content may not be reproduced in any form without written permission of author, except in the case of brief passages embodied in critical reviews and articles where the title and author are listed. Homeschooling Only One ~ 1957 vs. 2007
Posted 1:12 AM, Jun. 23, 2008
On the HOOville message board, we have a whole forum pertaining to education in the news. The following was posted there not too long ago. It’s not new information and it’s not necessarily “in the news,” but it’s a fun little filler and sure seems to ring true. If I had the author’s name, I’d be happy to give them credit, but I’ve searched online and can’t find any site that says who wrote it. If you know who originated this, please let me know! Thanks! School 1957 vs. 2007 Scenario: Jack goes quail hunting before school, pulls into school parking lot with shotgun in gun rack. 1957 - Vice Principal comes over, looks at Jack's shotgun, goes to his car and gets his shotgun to show Jack. 2007 - School goes into lock down, FBI called, Jack hauled off to jail and never sees his truck or gun again. Counselors called in for traumatized students and teachers. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Scenario: Johnny and Mark get into a fistfight after school. 1957 - Crowd gathers, Mark wins. Johnny and Mark shake hands and end up buddies. 2007 - Police called, SWAT team arrives, arrests Johnny and Mark. Charges them with assault, both expelled even though Johnny started it. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Scenario: Jeffrey won't be still in class, disrupts other students. 1957 - Jeffrey sent to office and given a good paddling by the Principal. Returns to class, sits still and does not disrupt class again. 2007 - Jeffrey given huge doses of Ritalin. Becomes a zombie. Tested for A.D.D. School gets extra money from state because Jeffrey has a disability. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Scenario: Billy breaks a window in his neighbors' car and his Dad gives him a whipping with his belt. 1957 - Billy is more careful next time, grows up normal, goes to college, and becomes a successful businessman. 2007 - Billy's dad is arrested for child abuse. Billy removed to foster care and joins a gang. State psychologist tells Billy's sister that she remembers being abused herself and their dad goes to prison. Billy's mom has affair with psychologist. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Scenario: Mark gets a headache and takes some aspirin to school. 1957 - Mark shares aspirin with Principal out on the smoking dock. 2007 - Police called, Mark expelled from school for drug violations. Car searched for drugs and weapons. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Scenario: Pedro fails high school English. 1957 - Pedro goes to summer school, passes English, goes to college. 2007 - Pedro's cause is taken up by state. Newspaper articles appear nationally explaining that teaching English as a requirement for graduation is racist. ACLU files class action lawsuit against state school system and Pedro's English teacher. English banned from core curriculum. Pedro given diploma anyway but ends up mowing lawns for a living because he cannot speak English. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Scenario: Johnny takes apart leftover firecrackers from 4th of July, puts them in a model airplane paint bottle, blows up a red ant bed. 1957 - Ants die. 2007 - BATF, Homeland Security, FBI called. Johnny charged with domestic terrorism. FBI investigates parents. Siblings removed from home, computers confiscated, Johnny's Dad goes on a terror watch list and is never allowed to fly again. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Scenario: Johnny falls while running during recess and scrapes his knee. He is found crying by his teacher, Mary. Mary hugs him to comfort him. 1957 - In a short time, Johnny feels better and goes on playing. 2007 - Mary is accused of being a sexual predator and loses her job. She faces 3 years in State Prison. Johnny undergoes 5 years of therapy. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Donna Conner lives in Fort Worth, TX with her husband, Glenn, their son, Mike, and their dog, Lucia. Donna and Glenn have been homeschooling their son since the beginning of his education. Mike completes his homeschooling this year. Donna is an artist and has always enjoyed writing. She wrote Homeschooling Only One five years ago, after discovering that there were many other families homeschooling only one child. Her website is devoted to those with only one student in their homeschool, with listings of online resources. You can visit her website at http://donnac.com and read her blog at: http://www.homeschoolblogger.com/DonnaC copyright © 2008 Donna Conner ~~ All rights reserved. Content may not be reproduced in any form without written permission of author, except in the case of brief passages embodied in critical reviews and articles where the title and author are listed. Homeschooling Only One ~ Charts can Help
Posted 12:15 AM, Jun. 13, 2008
It can be helpful to have charts to guide you in your homeschooling. I have always been a list-maker. We are more “routine” people as a whole, rather than having an actual schedule with start and end times. I know that other families need time-frames to help them stay on track. Time-frames usually make me feel like a failure, since by the 5th or 6th item on the list, I’m 15– 20 minutes later than I expected. Condemnation no one needs! (See my column on Guilt!) My first step is to list the things needing to be done and put them generally in the order in which I’d like them to be done. Prioritizing your jobs/chores helps so that you get the most important things accomplished in your day. Sometimes, however, I will put a couple of less critical items before the most important job, so that I can wake up (I’m not a morning person either!) or have a gentle beginning. It can also help to do something relatively mindless after doing a big thinking project (balance the checkbook, wash dishes, help son with Algebra, scrub floors, etc.) When done with the first, I move on to the next thing, and so on. Moving along the list and checking things off provide me with a visual key that I’m actually moving forward successfully. For some, checking off a list doesn’t help and just seems another thing to do for them. You do what works for you. Once I have my list, I go to the computer. I prefer Microsoft Publisher as it’s very user-friendly, but any word processing program will do the same thing. I usually start with a list, then create a chart or table that will show what my list indicates. Here is an example of the current list for my son and doing his high school work. Click on the image to see the PDF.
As you can see, I have a general routine listed at the top left-hand side. No times are listed. I do recommend my son to try and have at least 3 classes finished (as well as chores) before he has lunch, but it’s up to him if he has to do school into the evening. Then at the bottom, notice that I do require myself to check his work to see if it's been done before he moves on to the next class. (Never expect what you do not inspect!) He's been known to "think" he's done with everything and so this helps him to be accountable. I gave my son the choice for the font and color of the title, "Check List of Daily Duties," thus giving him some ownership. He also has a couple of classes that are hard to some extent for him. I require these to be his first two classes since he is more likely to put them at the end of the day where he has no energy to put towards them, no mental strength, or we have things to do out of the house. Having him complete at least these two before lunch (first and second class of his routine) helps him to complete these classes. He regularly "forgets" chores, so I have a reminder that chores are to come first. My son also knows that if I ask about chores at any point in the day and he did not do them, then he has to get up and interrupt class time. It just makes his day longer so I hope it helps him to be deligent in following the routine set down. Now for a checklist or guide for his actual schoolwork, I have made a chart that covers each week. His notebook has a column for each class, and there are rows for each day of that week with the specifics for what should be accomplished for each day. The weekly checklist is helpful to keep an eye on the "big picture." Here is the chart for the rest of his school year, including time spent with his grandfather. Again, you can click it to see it closer.
His classes are as follows: Bible covers Christian World-view. He was using Cornerstone Curriculum's Starting Points and completed that earlier in the year. Now, I have him reading Francis Scheaeffer's books and watching his DVD course of "How Should We Then Live. Science has him finishing Apologia's The Human Body and using the Anatomy Coloring Book. For Texas History he will be using Discover Texas' CD curriculum. In Math, he is doing Algebra: A Complete Course from Video Text Interactive. Language Art classes include: reading Writers Inc.'s Handbook and doing the workbook; writing according to the book Writing Expositions from Writing Strands; reading Writing Strands' book Essays; going thru Spelling Power; and using Talking Typing Tutor on the computer. I hope this has helped you to incorporate charts in your own homeschool, with your children's schedule, for your own schedule with your own duties.
Donna Conner lives in Fort Worth, TX with her husband, Glenn, their son, Mike, and their dog, Lucia. Donna and Glenn have been homeschooling their son since the beginning of his education. Mike completes his homeschooling this year. Donna is an artist and has always enjoyed writing. She wrote Homeschooling Only One five years ago, after discovering that there were many other families homeschooling only one child. Her website is devoted to those with only one student in their homeschool, with listings of online resources. You can visit her website at http://donnac.com and read her blog at: http://www.homeschoolblogger.com/DonnaC copyright © 2008 Donna Conner ~~ All rights reserved. Content may not be reproduced in any form without written permission of author, except in the case of brief passages embodied in critical reviews and articles where the title and author are listed. Homeschooling Only One ~ A New Journey
Posted 1:31 AM, Jun. 6, 2008
As I write this, my family is getting ready for a new journey of life. On the homeschooling front, this Saturday (May 31st), Mike will be "walking the stage" for his graduation. (Granted he still has work to accomplish before we deem him graduated, but that was due to illness, so we are participating in our homeschool group's graduation along with 7 other seniors.) On the familial part, my mother is about to move in with us. (She arrives June 3rd.) Homeschooling won't change much for us, since he is a senior and he is working fairly independently now. If all goes according to schedule, he should be finished on November 14th. At this point in time, we're planning for him to take some time off academics and do volunteerism to get some real life experiences under his belt. Then in the fall of '09, he'll be joining the college crew, in some form or fashion. It sure would help if he had an idea for what he wants to do, but we're praying that he will hear the Lord's voice for direction. With my mom here, I'm not sure what our lives will look like. I'm sure there will be a bit of a honeymoon period, but that might only last three days... LOL We are working on getting a one-level garage apartment built. (Our garage was torn down three years ago due to extreme age and pressure from the city.) Once that's completed she will have her own one-bedroom apartment. Since we have a "makeshift" kitchen (extended remodel on this very old, 121-year-old house), I've mentioned to her that it might be a good idea that I just move most of my kitchen-ware to her kitchen and I'll go down and cook our dinners there, to eat there with her. With inspections and permits, contractors and subcontractors, we can hope it will only be six months of living on top of one another here inside the "big house." She will be sharing Mike's bedroom until her place is completed. So not only will we be experiencing living with my mom, but will experience a building project. I have a feeling we will all be ready for that one-bedroom apartment to be built. My hat is off to those who have a parent either living with them or so close that they are in essence living with them. I might need to hear some good news on this new lifestyle. My husband and I have always felt that we would step up to the plate when the time came to take care of our parents. Now is the time to start with my mom. My father lives on his own in the next city (a twenty minute freeway trip) and Glenn's parents live in a city on the east side of Dallas (a one hour freeway trip). At this point in time, one of Glenn's sisters lives near their parents and both his parents are in good health. We all have to remember as our life journeys take twists and turns, come to abrupt halts, and/or we have to take U-turns, that the Lord goes before us and holds us in the Palm of His Hand. He is ever faithful and knows what we are up against. Remember His faithfulness is new every morning for your life journey! You are not alone and there are others of the faithful who have walked this road before. Don't try to reinvent the wheel but lean on those around you for tips and help, and lean heavily into the Lord. He will bring you through with a testimony to share. As for my husband and I, we know that the end will be worth whatever hardships we may have to endure. It's been true the last 26 years of our marriage, and we expect it will be for the next and for years to come. God is good. ALL the time.
Donna Conner lives in Fort Worth, TX with her husband, Glenn, their son, Mike, and their dog, Lucia. Donna and Glenn have been homeschooling their son since the beginning of his education. Mike completes his homeschooling this year. Donna is an artist and has always enjoyed writing. She wrote Homeschooling Only One five years ago, after discovering that there were many other families homeschooling only one child. Her website is devoted to those with only one student in their homeschool, with listings of online resources. You can visit her website at http://donnac.com and read her blog at: http://www.homeschoolblogger.com/DonnaC copyright © 2008 Donna Conner ~~ All rights reserved. Content may not be reproduced in any form without written permission of author, except in the case of brief passages embodied in critical reviews and articles where the title and author are listed. Homeschooling Only One ~ Must-Have Books, Part Two
Posted 1:54 AM, May. 30, 2008
Originally posted Sept 9, 2006; updated with links. Continuing from last week, I am presenting specific, must-have books for those who homeschool. As the old email adage goes, your mileage may vary, so definitely take what sparks your interest, perhaps research those tomes that you’ve not seen before, and then make your own must-have list. As I wrote last week, anything by Ruth Beechick is extremely helpful. The Three R's - Grades K-3 by Ruth Beechick (ISBN: 0-940319-06-3) and You Can Teach Your Child Successfully: Grades 4-8 by Ruth Beechick (ISBN: 0-940319-04-7) are both books that can help you cover not only the early elementary grades, but thru junior high school also. With these two books, it would be possible to homeschool your child from K thru 8th grade without having to buy any other curricula and using the library as your primary resource. Even if you choose to go with a curriculum for each of those grades (as I did), these are wonderful resources to help you use the curricula you chose. Mrs. Beechick has a style that is easy to read and provides real “nuts & bolts” to the teaching of children. I used Curriculum Manual: Elementary Grades by Cathy Duffy (ISBN: 092932031) as a resource the first several years of homeschooling, to compare materials from different sources. I didn’t end up using her manual for Junior & Senior Grades, but can wholeheartedly recommend these two books, as well as any of her other books. She gives good, balanced reviews, not like those you might read from a publisher who wants to sell you their line of curricula. The Way They Learn by Cynthia Ulrich Tobias (ISBN: 1561794147) concerns learning styles. We have a tendency to teach the way we ourselves learn. This book helps you identify your children’s strongest learning style, and helps you to teach them to that style. Young children will be a lot more kinesthetic in their approach to learning—very hands-on, but as they get older, you’ll see one style presenting itself as their strongest. It’s good to approach your teaching in this strongest learning style for the things that they have trouble with, but you don’t want to ignore the other learning styles either. If they have coping measures for these other learning styles, they can become more well-rounded and ready for their future. Most people have one main learning style, but being able to learn with the other methods is a helpful thing. Anyone may find themselves in a situation where they need to be more visually attuned by taking notes, instead of being able to go about a hands-on approach which might be their strongest suit. A great book to educate yourself is The Underground History of American Education by John Taylor Gatto (ISBN: 0945700040). Informative, fairly easy to read, this book is helpful for you to realize how the public school system was created and how it has been quietly adjusting the public’s point of view. It truly shows you that the public school system was a societal experiment. Once you read it, you may want to share it with your parents and/or others who are not homeschooling advocates. It will start a lively discussion and hopefully open some eyes on the way. All Through the Ages by Christine Miller is a wonderful resource, a extensive book list, to learn about various eras of time through historical fiction. This is the best book list that I’ve ever found and highly recommend it. You can easily find literature that reflects the time frame your child is studying. Quoting from Mrs. Miller’s website: It doesn’t matter whether the children are pre-readers or college-bound seniors; books of every reading level are included for every era, from picture books and beginning readers through the great books of Western Civilization. She even has books listed by geographical location! I can’t say enough about this “book of books” which you can use to buy books or to take with you to the library. Another great resource to take to the library is Who Should We Then Read by Jan Bloom (ISBN: 0-9709628-1-9). Jan Bloom has profiled Newberry winners and best-selling authors telling the reader who they were and in what they believed. She also included lists of various series (Landmark, Childhood of Famous Americans, First Books, Signature Biographies, etc.), has reading level suggestions and reading interest suggestions, so that you may find good books for your child to read. This is a great resource to take with you to the library! I hope this list for the last 2 weeks has been helpful to you. These books just scratch the surface of my homeschool library. As I said last week, I am definitely a bibliophile and love both discussing books with others and sharing what books that I’ve come to love, enjoy, and use almost on a daily basis!
Donna Conner lives in Fort Worth, TX with her husband, Glenn, their son, Mike, and their dog, Lucia. Donna and Glenn have been homeschooling their son since the beginning of his education. Mike completes his homeschooling this year. Donna is an artist and has always enjoyed writing. She wrote Homeschooling Only One five years ago, after discovering that there were many other families homeschooling only one child. Her website is devoted to those with only one student in their homeschool, with listings of online resources. You can visit her website at http://donnac.com and read her blog at: http://www.homeschoolblogger.com/DonnaC copyright © 2008 Donna Conner ~~ All rights reserved. Content may not be reproduced in any form without written permission of author, except in the case of brief passages embodied in critical reviews and articles where the title and author are listed. Homeschooling Only One ~ Must-Have Books, Part One
Posted 1:44 AM, May. 23, 2008
Originally posted Sept 9, 2006 ~ Updated with Links As Wikipedia states, bibliophilia as the love of books and a bibliophile is a lover of books. The classic bibliophile, is one who loves to read, admire, and collect books, often nurturing a large and specialized collection. As an example of a bibliophile, Samuel Pepys, at his death, had more than 3,000 volumes. They form one of the most important surviving 17th century private libraries. Almost every single homeschooler I’ve come across has been a bibliophile, either needing to have and keep their own library of books, or at the very least, collecting an extensive library of the classics. I am definitely in the bibliophile camp! I want to address must-have books for those homeschooling. As the old email adage goes, your mileage may vary, so take what sparks your interest, perhaps research those tomes that you’ve not seen before, and then make your own must-have list. I’ve had to break this list into two weeks since it’s so long. So be sure to come back next week to finish this list! My focus on today’s list will be good-basic-how-to homeschool books. First off, I have to mention two wonderful authors: Ruth Beechick and Mary Hood. I can almost guarantee you that anything by either author will be a good read and most helpful in your homeschooling journey. Starting my list would be 401 Ways to Get Your Children to Work at Home, by Bonnie Runyan McCullough & Susan Walker Monson (ISBN: 0-312-30147-2). This book has extremely helpful lists, especially if you have only one child! They are life skills that a child needs to have by the time they are 18. The lists have the chore listed, then says at what age one could start work on this chore and what age one should have it mastered. It’s helpful for those HOO because, at least in my own case, I didn’t have a clue that I could have allowed my 6 year old to use a table knife to make his own peanut butter & jelly sandwich. I started him at 9 only due to a friend making a comment. With one, we don’t always know when they are capable of working on something. These lists include Personal & Clothing Care; Household, Cooking, Money, Navigation & Auto Skills, as well as a category for Other Skills (such as how to swim, making an emergency call, first-aid procedures, plan a pantry, hang something on the wall, repair wall holes, and arrange for services needed, trash or extermination, etc.) A great handy book for every family! A Survivor's Guide to Home Schooling by Luanne Shackelford and Susan White (ISBN: 0891075038) This book has humor infused within its pages and is practical as well as informative. A great book for those beginning this journey, but also a good one to help the veteran overcome any doldrums. How to Home School by Gayle Graham (ISBN: 1880892405) — this book was the best book I found for the actual nuts and bolts of teaching at home when I first began. It is also filled with my own notes. Mrs. Graham’s writing style is easy to read and follow. She has many children and so I did have to adapt it, leaving some suggestions for those who have more children, but it was a wonderful resource! Beyond Survival: A Guide to Abundant-Life Homeschooling by Diana Waring (ISBN: 1883002370) is a great study. Helpful and engaging to get beyond day-to-day homeschool survival. The Relaxed Home School: A Family Production by Mary Hood (ISBN: 0963974009), as well as her The Joyful Homeschooler, The Enthusiastic Home Schooler, and anything else she’s written. She shows you don’t have to recreate school at home; mom is not “teacher” and dad is not the “principal.” Your home is a home and not a “school.” Your role of mom & dad are enough to encompass the teaching roles without you having to “change hats” as it were. Teach Me Lord That I May Teach: What We Learned Homeschooling the Kids by Douglas and Barbara Smith (ISBN: 187814006X) This book is an excellent Bible study of Nehemiah for the homeschooling parent. Both Teaching Children: A Curriculum Guide to What Children Need to Know at Each Level Through Sixth Grade by Diane Lopez (ISBN: 0891074899) and What Your Child Needs to Know When: According to the Bible/According to the State by Robin Scarlata Sampson (ISBN: 0970181612) are helpful books to help you get a feel for what the majority of children are learning at what grade level. Another great free resource is from the World Book Encyclopedia people, called A Typical Course of Study. You can receive this booklet, with no obligation to listen to a sales person, by looking in your local phone book under businesses, “World Book” — call a representative and ask for it by name. (You can also access it online through the link.) Another helpful book about what children are learning at what grade is What Your “Xth” Grader Needs to Know by E.D. Hirsch (6th grader: ISBN: 0385314671). This book is more detailed, although you might still need to find actual books from the library or to buy to cover the subjects a bit more in depth. But the What Your Grader series is a wonderful supplement for your normal curricula. I used 1st thru 6th Grade as an “on the shelf” resource ready for Mike to peruse on his own time. He loved reading the literature it provided as well as exploring the science and geography sections. Next week, I’ll share more books that I think are must-haves for a helpful homeschool library.
Donna Conner lives in Fort Worth, TX with her husband, Glenn, their son, Mike, and their dog, Lucia. Donna and Glenn have been homeschooling their son since the beginning of his education. Mike completes his homeschooling this year. Donna is an artist and has always enjoyed writing. She wrote Homeschooling Only One five years ago, after discovering that there were many other families homeschooling only one child. Her website is devoted to those with only one student in their homeschool, with listings of online resources. You can visit her website at http://donnac.com and read her blog at: http://www.homeschoolblogger.com/DonnaC copyright © 2008 Donna Conner ~~ All rights reserved. Content may not be reproduced in any form without written permission of author, except in the case of brief passages embodied in critical reviews and articles where the title and author are listed. Homeschooling Only One ~ Of Book Fairs and Conventions
Posted 2:09 PM, May. 9, 2008
It’s that time again! Book Fair Season is upon us! As you read this, I will be at the Arlington, Texas Homeschool Book Fair. I posted the following in May of 2006, but still some great points about attending a book fair or convention. Enjoy! Book fairs and conventions continue to be in a state of flux. Due to a lot more local stores carrying materials and to so many distributors online, sometimes one can wonder if a book fair or convention has a purpose anymore. Or if one should even attend one nearby. I don’t think they will ever become extinct. I certainly hope not! They most definitely serve a purpose! For anyone who needs a “shot in the arm,” conventions are just the ticket. Walk into a space that holds another 1,000 people (or more… or even less—just 500+/- for those smaller venues) and you can feel the energy. It does not matter how long you’ve homeschooled; having that many “like-minded” individuals around you does give a boost. You suddenly feel you are no longer “all alone” at home plodding thru those math lessons along with your student. Then you have the other benefit—being able to touch, handle, and read materials that aren’t available to you thru your local store, and which are only 2-dimensional photographs on a website. Being able to handle and investigate the materials for yourself can really help you make a decision if it’s the right material for your home. Being able to sit and listen to authors and program creators can help you, esp. when they linger after their session so you can ask specific questions about your own situation. At the same vendor table, you can find either another customer or the vendor themselves who is dealing with the same problems as you are. You find friends you never knew before (and whom you meet year after year only at the book fair). There is an innate camaraderie found in both the workshop rooms and the exhibit hall. In passing you can hear someone wondering if this material will work for them—and you have the opportunity to say, “I have used that before and I love it!” as you pass. (Or tell them that you have tried to use it and it didn’t work for you.) It’s going that second mile and realizing you are not in this homeschooling journey alone. I promote attendees to buy as much as possible what they need from vendors at the conventions & book fairs. There are a lot of “little guys” out there (like me) who have to pay not only to have a booth, but to even speak in a vendor workshop—so that perspective buyers can find out more information on their products and ask questions. Yes, you might find cheaper prices elsewhere, but by supporting vendors at the book fairs, you are helping them help you, as well as the new homeschoolers who are following in your footsteps. They are there to help you. Most of them give convention specials to help you. Either way, they are there to be supportive of you, and many of them see this as a ministry. By buying your materials from them, you encourage them to continue to be a tangible help to those who need it. By supporting them with your hard-earned dollars, you support the homeschooling community. I do understand tight belts and having to make hard decisions on what you can buy! There are times when I know that buying from a discount house or online can be the only way you can even think about homeschooling. If this is where you are, I understand—I’ve been there! If you can, put aside something, anything, and spend it at your next book fair. Be sure to support the vendor who spends time with you, answering questions and directing you to material that you come to rely on. Every transaction helps and you’re sowing seed into the lives of other homeschoolers. It’s a good thing! One other thought for those who are homeschooling only one student: Consider contacting the organizers of the book fair/convention in your area. If they provide “Fellowships” for those in special circumstances (minorities, families with twins or triplets, etc.), ask them if they would provide a fellowship for those who homeschool only one student. There really are a lot of us out there and even if you’re asked to head it, it can be so very edifying for everyone who attends. If you’re no speaker, introduce yourself and open the floor to find out where people live, their situation, their questions and current problems. You don’t have to have “all the answers,” but by allowing those attending to speak up and give their own perspectives on those questions and problems, everyone will benefit from the discussion. It’s not just a case of having an “only” child, but there are plenty of us out there, too. I have also found that grandparents homeschooling a grandchild continues to be a growing phenomenon. They need to be able to find each other and providing a fellowship will help them, as well as the single parent and the homeschooling parents who are now faced with only one student and find that it is different and they are challenged to even continue on this road. You can also request me as a workshop speaker. Send them to my website http://donnac.com. I’m not quite a “keynote” speaker yet (in my own mind), but if I can come, I will. The season of Book Fairs and Conventions is here! Be sure to see if you can go to one either near or far. You won’t be disappointed!
Donna Conner lives in Fort Worth, TX with her husband, Glenn, their son, Mike, and their dog, Lucia. Donna and Glenn have been homeschooling their son since the beginning of his education. Mike completes his homeschooling this year. Donna is an artist and has always enjoyed writing. She wrote Homeschooling Only One five years ago, after discovering that there were many other families homeschooling only one child. Her website is devoted to those with only one student in their homeschool, with listings of online resources. You can visit her website at http://donnac.com and read her blog at: http://www.homeschoolblogger.com/DonnaC copyright © 2008 Donna Conner ~~ All rights reserved. Content may not be reproduced in any form without written permission of author, except in the case of brief passages embodied in critical reviews and articles where the title and author are listed. Homeschooling Only One ~ Guest Columnist: Reverse Intimidation
Posted 1:07 AM, Apr. 25, 2008
Please welcome Michele Marshall, this week's guest columnist. I suffer from “reverse intimidation.” You see, many people consider how intimidating it is to homeschool three (or four or eight or twelve) children. But, as a parent homeschooling an only child, I’m less intimidated by the act of homeschooling many children and more intimidated by the homeschool mothers of multiples themselves. If God only gives us as much as we can handle, I must be considered pretty flaky in His book. These other moms have four (or often more) and I have one, yet they seem to have all the great ideas, the great programs, and some really neat experiences. I start to read a post from one of my online friends about what each of her four school-aged children is “doing for school” and my eyes glaze over somewhere between child #2 and #3. I’m interested, I really do care, but it’s overload. And, really, once I get down the list to a child at or below the age of my only, I’ve gleaned (hoarded away) all the future ideas that I can. I’ve created a book list several titles long, with many read-alouds for all those long afternoons cuddling on the sofa or out on the porch. These homeschool moms of many have scheduling programs to create assignment grids and lesson plans and guides so they can see what each child is doing. I mean, they even know how long each subject in their homeschool might take! It’s intimidating. And mentally you start beating yourself over the head with an unused lesson planner. I have a pile of books. And a general order of topics, subject to interruptions, of course, like impromptu figurine re-enactments or group cat snuggles or a sudden urge to explore the math topic of the day for hours, rather than minutes. I mean, how undisciplined can I get? These multi-child homeschools have enough children to do the games and activities that fill the pages of supplement books. Need to play “Ancient Roman Market?” They have a built-in crew with an real interest in the colored bead necklaces and rubbery spiders that came in the kit. After a quick game, our trinkets became birthday gift-bag stuffers. To find the gift bag box, we cleaned out a closet and found last year’s mummified fruit from Ancient Egypt. We photographed it and “unwrapped the mummy” (hear the spooky voice?) just like Egyptologists. Of course, dd wanted to keep all the neat jewels we found in the wrapping. No cheap plastic earring for me! Of course, parents homeschooling multiples have just about every ____ book known to man–-fill-in-the-blank with your favorite curriculum subject. They know they are going to use them more than once, so the cost is worth it. They get to explore all those cool ideas, teaching techniques, and become wiser and more knowledgeable by the purchase. Meanwhile, I sold my phonics book (singular) a year ago, knowing I’d have no further use for it, thus freeing up my bookshelves for something new. Even though my only is almost eight years old, maybe I should fill it with that really neat preschool program I wish we had done? It would fit nicely next to the books left from the neat program we did do. I’m reverse intimidated because I see folks doing great things and managing to do it with many more children than I have. I know the amount of time it’s taken me to learn what little I do know about homeschooling my unique only. I know how much time I spend planning. And, I’ve decided, God just knew I didn’t have time to do that for more than one child. That’s why he made us all “Super Moms” for whatever sized homeschool family we have. Michele Marshall, DW of 17 years, MOM of 8 years, and PhD, homeschools her only in SW Indiana. Aside from loving HOO-ville and chairing her local homeschool group, she's also "pro-owl-pellet" and not the least bit squeamish about biology or "chewy" discussion topics.
Donna Conner lives in Fort Worth, TX with her husband, Glenn, their son, Mike, and their dog, Lucia. Donna and Glenn have been homeschooling their son since the beginning of his education. Mike completes his homeschooling this year. Donna is an artist and has always enjoyed writing. She wrote Homeschooling Only One five years ago, after discovering that there were many other families homeschooling only one child. Her website is devoted to those with only one student in their homeschool, with listings of online resources. You can visit her website at http://donnac.com and read her blog at: http://www.homeschoolblogger.com/DonnaC copyright © 2008 Donna Conner ~~ All rights reserved. Content may not be reproduced in any form without written permission of author, except in the case of brief passages embodied in critical reviews and articles where the title and author are listed. Homeschooling Only One ~ A Journey to Contentment
Posted 1:27 AM, Apr. 18, 2008
This is a repeat of a column I posted in 2006. Anniversary dates for both the death of our 2nd born son (April 22nd) as well as his birth (April 30th) are nearing. I'm content where I am now, but it was definitely a journey. Since first writing this, I have had a partial hysterectomy and am truly content as the Lord led us to that pathway. He has been ever faithful in walking with me. Perhaps both regular readers here, or those who are new, will be encouraged. ~~Donna
It’s not the destination, per se, but the journey. The road to contentment is a journey that every believer needs to travel. It might take on a different look for each individual, but the journey is one that makes a deep impact on one’s life. As I’ve said before, having only one child was never in “our plans.” It took 7 years before my husband felt we could start our family—and that was after he put a fleece before the Lord! I was ready to start our family after the first 3 years, so those last 4 years were very hard on me. “Baby Fever” was very much in evidence. No one could accuse me of being content during those years! Every waking thought said “BABY” loud and clear. I was typical (at least among my friends) in that when Mike was around 2, I was ready for another one. Glenn didn’t have quite as much problem with adding one more to the mix and we were blessed, even if so briefly, with Richard. He died a week & a day before his 2nd birthday. We were told by friends to give ourselves a year for each other, the three of us, before pursuing another child. In grief, you kind of go along with what you’ve been told if it sounds halfway logical. In 1995 or ’96, after searching my heart and coming to the knowledge that I would gratefully take whatever circumstances that the 3rd child might bring—handicapped or not, we began to “actively not prevent” a possible pregnancy. Baby Fever rose its head within me. Again, every waking thought screamed “BABY” and every month that went by was filled with sorrow and questions. Especially from my son who for years would pray for a baby sister or brother (he didn’t care) every night at prayer time. Well, it’s now 2006 and we have never even been blessed with a pregnancy. I don’t have the year down, but I know it was springtime one year when the Lord quietly spoke to me. It may have been 1999 or 2000, I’m just not sure. His voice wasn’t audible but there was a “vision” aspect to it. I know it was springtime, because the whole journey took about 9 to 10 months in all, and it was September or October when I’d finished it. He was giving me a cup to drink. It was a pretty little china teacup on a saucer. It was handed to me. I knew what was in the cup—-Acceptance to Our Family Size: Past, Present, and Future. I knew I did not want to drink it with any “strings attached,” such as, “Ok, Lord, I’ll be happy to drink this cup, and then you can give me a baby!” I knew He was giving it to me with no strings and I did not want to put any of my own on it. That’s not how it should work. It took me at least a couple of months before I could even bring it to my lips… I could look into the cup. “Yup, sure has stuff in it.” “It’s still there.” Those sorts of things came to mind…over a little bit of time, I started to sip it, ever such small sips, but sips in good conscience. “Yes, Lord, I want to do and have Thy will.” Yes, I was drinking it, but so carefully and slowly. I didn’t want to attach any strings unconsciously. About 5 or 6 months into my journey, I noticed that I had drunk about half the cup. Now I didn’t think about my cup and all it entailed every day, not even every week. At times I was able to take large swallows, at other times, only a bit of a sip. It was October, I believe, of that same year, that I suddenly realized that I had drunk the whole cup down… I wasn’t so consumed by “Baby Fever” as I was before. Yes, I still was open to having another baby, but it wasn’t an overwhelming “fever” as it had been. Even now, at 48, I would welcome a baby, but over the last 3 or 4 years, I find that there are a lot of pluses in not having nighttime feedings or in not having to lug a stroller, the diaper bag, and extra clothes everywhere I go. I have found contentment—His contentment with our family size. As I could not help repeating to myself the weekend between Richard’s death and burial, I find myself repeating now: The Lord giveth and the Lord taketh away; BLESSED be the Name of the Lord. Not blessed because of what He gives, not blessed because of what He withholds, but BLESSED because of WHO He is alone. There are those who have chosen this path of having a single child. There are those who found themselves in this boat (as I did with the death of our 2nd son). There are others who deal with infertility, either having their “miracle baby” or adopting, and then find themselves homeschooling only one. Each one who goes through this process at some point in their lives must go on the Journey to Contentment. It will look different to each one, I’m sure. Perhaps my story and the way the Lord dealt gently with me in the way of drinking a cup, perhaps it may help someone else on their journey.
Donna Conner lives in Fort Worth, TX with her husband, Glenn, their son, Mike, and their dog, Lucia. Donna and Glenn have been homeschooling their so | |||||
