I am afraid to go to sleep.  I am awaiting that which, absent a miracle, is inevitable.  So I'm afraid to go to sleep.  There have been only the very mildest of signs (2 out of about 10) so far, but there are signs.  I don't discount the possibilty of a miracle, I know my God is all powerful.  But I also feel that I am more like David after the loss of his son. What is done is done and now is the time to move forward with my life and my service to God. Nonetheless, despite my faith that all things will work for good, I dread this coming event.  So I am wasting time, looking for things to do- none of which are productive. 

Soon I will be able to dance for the Lord again and revel in the joys of my many blessings.  I long for that day as I long for this night to end.  Bless all of you who have had this wait and made it through.  May you remember God's comfort always. 

I did try to use part of my time productively this evening.  If you visit my website, I now have several links to support those who are pregnant and a special page of links for those who have experienced a loss.