A Practical Guide to Children's Chores
by Steven and Teri Maxwell
website: www.Titus2,com
I found reference to this book on a blog. I thought I might benefit from it so I ordered it. I read it right away after getting it in the mail, and I don't regret my decision to have ordered it. It was worth the money.
What I first liked about this book was the authors enthusiasm for something as simple as household chores. I enjoy and like people with enthusiasm about something in life, and I found it refreshing that they were enthused about something so daily in life....chores. Every time I read of their enthusiastic comments, I smiled.
"We want to convince you that chores are important for your children. We will attempt to build such a strong case for the benefits of chores in your children's lives that you are motivated to make them a high priority in your home." (pg 10) and "We see our job as being the greatest chore advocates you have ever heard." (pg 12)
They encouraged me that the effort to teach my children to contribute in our home is well worth the effort and time it takes.
"We know from experience that serving involves work. Scripture doesn't specifically mention chores, but parents are admonished to bring their children up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord (Ephesians 6:4) We believe one facet of this is to raise children who have willing hearts to serve others. Teaching our children with chores can greatly influence whether they have servants' hearts and are able to set self aside." ( pg 10)
"Chores should develop diligence in a child's life. It is virtually impossible for a child to have any level of workload of chores without having to be diligent to accomplish them. The child's tendency is to be distracted and play. A process will be taking place through the years of doing chores that will mature the diligence of the child. Diligence is beneficial in adulthood in almost any task that is undertaken. Yet we often hear from parents that one of the biggest struggles in their personal lives is their own lack of diligence. Consider how they would have been blessed had their parents used chores to help them become diligent." pg 23
"How many hours of our adult lives are spent doing tasks we wouldn't choose and don't enjoy? This reality is simply a part of being an adult. Children who have chores are being prepared for the real-life world in which they will spend the majority of their lives. A child with chore assignments will have some chores given to him that he would not choose to do if he had a choice about it. Since he doesn't have the freedom to only take favored chores, the child begins the task of learning to persevere through something that isn't easy or isn't enjoyable. The child acquires the ability to endure in the midst of less-than-ideal circumstances. Aren't employers looking for employees who will press on even if all of their job hours are not exciting? Won't a mother often find herself called to situations that aren't pleasant?" pg 23
A work ethic...
"We are instilling this (work ethic) in our children when we given them chores. Through chores, our children learn that they are contributing members of the family, and they are prepared for being contributing members of an adult society. They come to terms as a child, in child-level matters, with the fact that there is no free ride in life." pg 24
"Mothers particularly benefit from a childhood filled to some degree with chores. Without having learned the rudiments of cleaning, cooking, and laundry, a mom faces a daunting task of caring for children plus running a household without the necessary equipping. She is then forced to learn what she missed while she was growing up, and a stage in her life when time and quiet are at a premium." pg 24
"Perhaps one of the greatest lifetime benefits of chores is that it contributes to the process of a child learning to direct his focus off of himself. A child never required to work, or one who has very little assigned to him, likely grows into an adult consumed with his self-centeredness. He does not learn the joy to be found in serving.
When a child has to give up some of his playtime to do chores, he is learning to deny himself and serve others." pg 25
"The perfectionist should learn that there is a balance in a home between a normal "lived-in" state and "everything always in its place." Having a scheduled chore time should help with this problem because there is an assigned portion of the day for everything to be put in its place." pg 46
"We shouldn't be surprised or discouraged by the character problems that come out when we give our children chores and expect them to be done..." pg 46
chapter nine
"For the Home-Management Challenged"
(This chapter is for me!)
"The truth is that home responsibilities are usually unmanageable because time hasn't been invested to determine what needs to be done, and time hasn't been set aside to then do it. We allow ourselves to become too busy and distracted by other good things, but it is to the detriment of our first calling from Titus 2:4-5 to love our husbands, love our children, and be keepers at home." pg 59
"In the midst of this education was the reality that a home with children in it all day would not have the same standard of cleanliness or orderliness that it would if it were just Steve and Teri. There needed to be a livable balance, which was only achievable through having a schedule, making a chore plan, and teaching the children what they needed to do. It was truly a management process. Instead of being a manager in a work environment, Teri was a manager eventually with eight children reporting directly to her." pg 59
"The joy and peace a mom feels in her heart when she is keeping up with her home chores is worthy of doing what it takes to get there. "pg 59
Before each chapter, there is a page called Chore Surveys. This page is full of individual quotes from people that are not the authors. I found these quotes as interesting and as helpful as the book itself.
From the Chore Surveys, pg64
"Our chore success comes from PLANNING!! It takes time to come up with a plan for who does what and a time schedule!"
"...I believe assigning them the same chores each day at the same time each day for six months or longer has really helped them to be proficient a those chores and be used to what they are doing. There is also less complaining because they know what is expected each day."
"As for the chores themselves, my mother had me work alongside her. For example, we would sort clothes together, put things into the wash together, hang or fold things together, and put them away together- always together...."
Chapter Ten
"Developing a Master Chore List"
"A building is no better than its foundation, and a chore system is no better than the planning that went into setting it up. Do you want your chore system to succeed? Then you will have to plan - simple. We can try to circumvent or skip this stage, but the outcomes will range from varying levels of inefficiency to complete failure. Those who do not plan will soon find themselves frustrated in their chore attempts. We know from the military and business world that for success to occur, the strategy must be set, the blueprint designed, and the plan worked out. The same is true for us with a chore system."
"Think about how many daily decisions will be alleviated by having a chore system in place. The constancy of making these decisions throughout the day is a major contributor to Mom's weariness. With her chore system, she no longer daily has to decide who will wash the dishes, sweep the floor, or feed the dog. She is free to let go of these mental lists that bog down her thinking. She knows that all necessary work has been equitably divvied up amongst those who can do the jobs, that there is time allotted for these chores, and that she will be inspecting the work." pg 65
"We can't set up a chore system until we know which chores should be accomplished on a regular basis in our homes. The task of developing a chore plan could seem like such a monumental job that it is simply avoided. We encourage you that planning is a necessary and important step in creating a chore system for your home..."
From the Chore Surveys, pg 73
"I still can't seem to get it together! Since I didn't 'see' my mother spring cleaning or doing other chores not done on a daily basis, I didn't know anything about them until I began to wonder why other women's homes appeared cleaner and more polished than mine. well, of course, I could fold clothes, organize my room, etc. I'm talking about chores not done every day. i didn't have certain chores to do or any type of schedule to go by as a child, so it has made it harder for me to be disciplined and complete those chores and responsibilities before they become an overwhelming task."
Chapter Eleven
Chores Assigned
"When a child does the same jobs all the time and keeps his chores for several months or even years, he learns to do the jobs well, quickly, and efficiently. His chore routine is easily memorized because it remains the same from day to day."
"Not rotating chores makes for better accountability because Mom will soon memorize which child is responsible for which chore. This means she doesn't have to hunt up a chore list to check to see who didn't do his job is a chore is left undone. In addition, Mom spends less time training children for new chores since the chores are not being changed very often."
"The more frequently chores are rotated, the more of Mom's time is required to train the children in their new chores and then verify that the chores have been done correctly."
"pg 76
"'When the children do specific chores with Mom, there is immediate oversight on the quality of the work and help t a higher standard if needed. Mom and children enjoy wonderful fellowship while doing their work. The children usually look forward to chores with Mom more than their other jobs."
I found it interesting that the authors have a four-day homeschool week, the fifth day they spend time on the overall cleaning of their house. I do the same.
From the Chore Survey, pg 92
"...if you clean each week, even if it doesn't LOOK dirty, it will be easier to clean and will keep its clean appearance."
pg 104
"Consistency and gentleness go much further than frustration, irritation, and nagging."
"If we sow inconsistency, we reap failure. If we sow consistency, we reap success and will observe the growing benefits in our children's lives. A chore system is far more important than a clean, tidy home."
"Mom must be committed to being consistent with the chore checking. Remember the number-one hindrance to success with chores is Mom's lack of consistency in checking the children's work.
Don't let any thing bump this activity from its scheduled slot."
From the Chore Surveys
"Our chore success has been achieved by taking the time to properly show them how to do a chore, inspecting their work week after week, praising the parts which were done well, and pointing out which parts needed to be done better until the job was able to be completed to my satisfaction, taking into consideration the child's age and ability." pg 106
From the Chore Surveys pg 122
"...Children will be encouraged to have a full quiver if they know how to handle and delegate chores efficiently. Chores help children understand that they have a purpose and are worthy of many things. Children can be happier with consistent chores than without."
From the Chore Surveys pg 134
"I believe that my children aren't being completely educated without practival, day-today- skills being learned."
"I think chores give children a sense of purpose, less time to fight, and they value their play time since it is more limited. I am much calmer with a clean house, and they learn valuable skills for when they are out on their own. I believe the family should all pitch in.."
The book has a system that it helps you implement using chore charts and something called a "chore pak". Very helpful plan.
