It has been a good weekend, thus far.  Rachel had a party Friday night of about 12 teenage girlfriends.  All went relatively smooth and without chaos. I am now ready, though, to have quiet weekends that are family oriented for quite a while.

I was on the run so much last week, and so many late nights, that I did not get up early to pray as my custom is.  By Friday, I felt my spiritual reservoir getting low, and feeling resentful for obligations that have kept me from communing with Him.  The only way that I can get up early to pray is to go to bed early!!! I prayed that He would help me to do that this weekend, and He has answered this prayer. 

I love to wake up way before anyone else in the house will be stirring.  The night before, I prepare my coffee machine, so that all I have to do in my grogginess and in the darkness is to push a single button, and wait to fill my cup. I take my hot cup of coffee to the back den where it is pitch black (there are no windows in this room); I close the door so I will be as if I am praying in my closet (total solitude); and wrap myself in a blanket on the couch to keep warm. 

When I get up late and I only have 15 to 30 minutes to pray, I feel hurried – I need to get all my requests out to Him quickly and cover all the bases in limited time.  But when I get up early, as in hours before anyone else will be waking around here, it is as spending time with my Best Friend and my Heavenly Father.  I pray in this manner:

I start with the beginning of the Lord’s Prayer.

“Our Father, which are in heaven,

Hallowed be thy name,

The Kingdom come,

Thy will be done, on earth as it is in heaven.”

I start with this because I want to put my mind and spirit before the presence of the Almighty God, Our Father who resides in heaven, and to come before Him in reverence – to hallow His Name.  I pray for His kingdom to come – for Jesus to come again soon; and I pray that His will be done on earth, as it is in heaven.

From that point on, I come to Him in a spirit of thankfulness for all that He has done for me in the past day (or days) since I last met with Him in this way.  I do this by reviewing the previous day, going through each thing and event that happened.  I thank Him for these things – it might be time spent with my husband before going off to work – and then it is here as I thank Him for this that I begin to pray for my husband and to offer up requests in behalf of him.  I pray for his day, for pending business opportunities, for guidance regarding His will in our business, for my husband to have wisdom in these areas; and on and on as I think of specific needs for my husband. (Recommended reading: The Power of a Praying Wife, by Stormie Omartian.)

As I go on reviewing the previous day thanking Him, I come to our school time, and here it is that I bring up specific requests for my children – for spiritual needs as well as academic needs to be met.  I pray for their protection; for hedging around them in safety – for their purity of mind as well as for physical protection. 

When I come to our lunch time, I ask that He will help me in this area – food preparation is not one of my natural gifts – it is only in the past decade or so that He brought me to a deeper appreciation and understanding of this important role as a mother and wife - not only the preparing of nutritious meals for the body, but a feeding of the soul and spirit through the nurturing of a meal prepared with love.  I need daily wisdom and guidance in this area. 

I pray that He will give me aid and wisdom in all of my domestic areas.  In specific, I pray that He will help me to “take dominion” over my home, and to organize it efficiently, in order that we have a home that there is a place for everything – opposite of a home where one is always looking for something lost (been there, still there, but improving with His help.)  I pray that He will help me in every area of my home, from organizing to being a better cook.

As I go through each event that happened in the previous day, it is brought to my mind the needs and requests that I bring before Him.  Did something happen unpleasant? Am I still struggling with an unkind or unthoughtful remark?  It is here that I pray for this person and for myself – to forgive, to forget, to love, to be like Christ and not to take offence.

Did I lose my temper?  Was I unloving or impatient to someone?  It is here that I ask for forgiveness and for increased love and patience towards others. 

When I am finished praying, the sun is now peeking out, and my eyes are sufficiently ready to read the Bible.  I keep a notebook journal by my side.  It is just an ordinary notebook, and I put the date on the top of the page.  Then, any verses that I read that speak to me or I find particularly significant or that I have a question about, I write these verses down.  Then I might write what it is that I found interesting about this passage.  I have been doing this for almost three decades. 

I am a different kind of mother and wife because of my time spent with Him.  I can not exist without this time.  It is time that I covet, and that I seek to ‘make happen.’  He meets all of my needs and I have found Him to be a faithful friend and one that answers all prayers.  

Tuesday....

My husband and I traveled almost 3 hours to go to dinner with friends.  I spent the morning getting ready, figuring out what to wear, and running out to do a few errands. 

The dinner was in Indianapolis, Indiana at a restaurant called, Sullivan's Steak House.  The friends were business associates that have developed into friendship.  One accountant and his wife, two bankers and their spouses, and a developer and his wife (us).  There were eight of us.

I have been to dinner and to many social funcitons with all those present this evening so I did not feel uncomfortable.  I am generally way out of my element when in a group setting.  I am best one-on-one.  But I made it through the evening.  On the other hand, my husband is in his element when in a group/party setting, and he had a blast.  He's still talking about it today, how much fun he had last night.

The highlight of the evening, though, was the guest of honor.  His name is Jeff, and we met him for the first time over 10 years ago.  We have developed a wonderful friendship in the past decade, and he means a lot to us.  At Christmas time, it was discovered that he had cancer.  They operated, took it out, then treated him with chemo and radiation.  It was to be a six week process, and then he'd get on with his life as normal.

Things didn't go as planned,  A catastropy happened and he went into a coma.  His family was called and told to say their farewell.  He didn't die. He woke up from his coma after several weeks.  It didn't look like he'd ever be the same.  It was questionable that his kidneys would function on their own.  He couldn't talk or communicate in any way.  We went to visit him in the brain trauma unit of the hospital and I cried when I seen him.

Everyone was praying for him. I've never seen someone with so many friends and people that loved him. He has a very close, large family that immersed him with prayer and love. God heard all of our prayers.  Four months later, after it was doubtful he'd even live, we had gathered together with him for dinner.  He can walk, talk, and even drive his car.  He's not 100% the way he was, but he's still progressing.

It is so wonderful to be with a friend that you almost lost.  Praise God. It was a wonderful evening.

It is early this blessed Sabbath morning.  I am sitting outside on my porch, enjoying the crisp, cool air, listening to all the sounds that nature makes.  I wish I knew more about birds in which to identify which ones I am hearing.  I can hear perhaps six, or more, different varieties, all talking to each other rather loudly.  I can hear the sound of  water softly dripping out of an ever-so-little water fountain we have.

The horses are grazing so peacefully in their pasture.  I love to watch them.  Lately, we have been monitoring their grazing time and keeping them in what is called a “dry lot”, in order to keep them from becoming over weight.  Our horses would eat themselves to death, literally,  if we let them have unlimited pasture.   Since putting them on this restricted diet, I have felt uncomfortable with it, wishing only to let them graze and wanting them to be blissfully happy.  However, my vet has warned me that to do so, could and would bring them obesity (this happened last year) and in turn could bring them to the danger of flounder and colick, both medical conditions that could lame or kill them .  I have found that to give them what they want, would bring them ultimately an untimely death at worse, and at best, would bring them much physical ailments and disabilities.

How much more, our Father, I think, does the same with us. 

I have often thought about God ‘s three answers to our prayers and desires.  These three are:  “Yes” (my favorite); “Wait” (the hardest); and “No” (my least preferred).   It is this last answer that I most unusually found myself thinking about this past week.

One of these answers, “No” was for a house my husband and I almost bought. It was when we were married only approximately 4 years. The house was so very charming.  We made an offer and  went back to our apartment to  get money for deposit of  a  down payment.  When we returned,  the elderly home owners  informed us that while we were gone, someone else had come and made a higher offer, and they accepted it.  We were so disappointed. 

But God was protecting us there, although we could not see it at the time.  He later gave us our first home in a much safer neighborhood.  The home we had almost purchased was on the outskirts of a city called, Gary, Indiana, which has the highest murder capital per population in the United States.   God was protecting us by not giving us what we thought we wanted.

Then, I remembered other times that I had asked of God something outside of the material world, like a home, but rather, something I desired, very strongly so, in ministry.  I thought my request was a good one,  something He could use in a great way to further His kingdom.  And again, He told me, “No”.  Now, through the past few years, I have slowly come to understand just what it was I was asking, my motives for asking it, and I could see that here, too, He was just protecting me for something I was perhaps unfit for, unable to handle.

On the other hand, God has given me many things that I did not ask for,  but now, I am so eternally grateful  that He has provided in the way which He has.  In the book of Psalms, the first chapter, He has promised that if we meditate in His Word, don’t take the counsel of the ungodly, or walk in the way of sinners, there is no good thing we will lack.   He knows what will harm us although we may desire it greatly. He knows what will bring us ultimate happiness, although we may be clueless to what that will be.   

Like my horses that graze in a beautiful pasture, but at times, I must withhold them from it,  sometimes God must do the same thing for us, withholding things we feel that we must have. These are the valleys we walk through in life.    I am grateful for the all the “No” answers I have received as I can see His ultimate sovereignty , overseeing my life in detail.

I awoke early this morning, and as my custom is, I got up to make the coffee.  As I have so often done, I poured my coffee into my cup and sat down on the couch, in the darkness, to pray. I love this time. This is the time that I have to spend alone  with the Almighty God, to bring my thankfulness to Him for what He has done, and also to bring my worries and concerns to lay at His feet.

After thanking Him for our wonderful little family trip that we have just come back from, I then laid at His feet an unanswered prayer.  I have had a desire in my heart for some time now that has gone unfulfilled and I brought this issue to Him.  There are two ways of looking at this issue, I said to Him in prayer. I pray in a very conversational way with my Lord and Savior, because He is my very Best Friend, and has been faithful and true to me.  He has walked with me through the valley of shadows, as well as He has been with me on the mountain tops of life's experiences and answered prayers. 

On the one hand, perhaps I should just accept that what I have is God's will for me, and to be content, and not to pray for this issue.  On the other hand, perhaps this desire has been placed in my heart by God Himself, and He wants me to pray for it into fruition. If I quit praying for it, is that saying I don't believe that God can answer this prayer?  If I quit praying for this desire in my heart, even when I still feel a great desire, am I giving up on God?  Not believing that He can do anything and fulfill all the desires of our heart? 

I explained to Him the questions of my heart, and then asked Him again to fulfill this desire.  I believe it was Him that placed this desire there in the first place. I asked Him that should this not be His will for my life, then to give me contentment, to not feel this "want" of the heart. 

It is so peaceful to have a relationship with the Creator of this universe, that any worries and concerns that I have throughout the day, I can just say within myself, "Take this to God in prayer".  And then, when the early morning time comes, I can rise, and meet with Him and lay all of my burdens and requests at His feet. 

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After writing the above, I had my devotional time of reading His Word. I am in the book of Job. I just had to share the passage that I read, in light of my prayer this morning to Him.

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Job 33:13

"Why do you complain to Him that He answers none of man's words?"

O.k., I wasn't "complaining,"  but I was questioning, but maybe questioning/complaining is just a play on words. I took this verse as a very literal response to my prayer this morning.

"For God does speak - now one way, now another- though man may not perceive it.

In a dream, in a vision of the night, when deep sleep falls on men as they slumber in their beds..."

- Job 33:15

I find this passage very interesting. Sometimes we think God is just silent about the thing, the situation, the desire we have. Yet, this passage in His Word says that God does speak, but we may just not be perceiving it.  He speaks in dreams, and in visions.  This passage then goes on to say that God speaks to us through pain (verses 19-22), and through angels (vs 23).

Then the question is, am I not listening carefully enough? Is my "radio frequency" not tuned in enough to hear His message to me?  Is He speaking, but I'm not listening?  Is there so much noise in my life that I cannot hear His quiet whispers? 

I have often told my children, that prayer is how we talk to God and communicate with Him, and His Word (the Bible) is how He communicates with us. This morning, through this passage, I found this to again be so true.