I was quickly browsing in a Christian bookstore just a couple of days ago, while waiting for my mom and Joshua to finish shopping in the store right next door, Toys R Us.  One book kind of jumped out at me, and it was, The Duggars: 20 and Counting!  It seems to be a new book that the Duggars have just published (or did I just see it for the first time?)

I thought, “Oh, I don’t really need this book.”  I’ve watched both of their documentaries and even bought the DVD’s and gave them to my daughter and her husband to watch (they have 3 children and one on the way under the age of five.)   But I picked the book up anyways and looked over its contents, flipping through the pages.  “Oh, I really should save the money.  I don’t need another book, and I already know all that I need to know about this fascinating family.”

I walked around the bookstore, but then came right back to the same book.  “Well, the cover seems to indicate that it will give me some tips on being frugal, and I need that.”  So, I justified my unneeded expenditure in the name of frugalness.

The first second I had available, that very day, I began to read the book.  I had some time while I was waiting at my husband’s office.  I couldn’t put it down.  I think I must have read almost half the book the first day (I do read quickly).  And tonight, family night, after we’d eaten our pizza, and had some fun with the kids, I looked forward to getting my cup of hot tea, and sitting down to finish the book.

My thoughts while reading this book:

#1  What a testimony this family is to the entire world.  When you read the story of this incredible family, you see the love of God written all over their lives.  What a great testimony that they consider children such a blessing.  

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#2  The provisions of God when they waited upon Him to meet their needs (and even some of their ‘wants,’) instead of using credit.  Business investments, cars, homes, you name it. All cash.  God blessed their commitment to live debt free in huge ways.

#3  I was impressed that all their children play the violin by the time their 4 years old.  They all take piano lessons, too!

#4 Their children are amazing – read the book and you’ll see what I mean.

As I ended the book, I admit I began to feel like somewhat of a failure.  Michelle and Jim Bob Duggar are shining examples of wisdom, patience, and any other virtue that I could possible think of.

I did learn some tips on being more frugal, and was left inspired to aspire to being more diligent in specific areas of child-raising.    I will now pass this book onto my daughter with her growing family.  I am totally glad that I bought this book.

Maybe you’re getting the idea that all I read is books about cleaning and organizing, but it’s not true.  I do read other genre, but I tend to read books in clusters on a similar subject.

I truly do love this book.  No, I didn’t buy it because I thought there was really such a thing as a house that cleans itself, but I have known women that it seemed as if their house cleaned itself!   I always wondered how they did that, and the title of this book intrigued me to think that I just might find the answer to this mystery.

I have read tons of books on cleaning and organizing.  O.k., maybe not literally, “tons,” but I do think I have one entire book shelf designated for this subject alone.  I usually learn a thing or two from every book, and build on past knowledge to the present.  I’m always looking for ways to improve the quality of my time and my home.

I love the premise of this book – it’s not about teaching you new organization techniques, but rather, changing your environment to fit how you live.  It has a totally unique “take” on this subject from anything I’ve ever read in the past.  I love the author’s totally non-judgmental attitude – this is conveyed all through the book.  I also love the fact that Mindy emphases that this is not about keeping a “perfect” house.  It’s about keeping it reasonably clean at all times, contrary to a home that is clean (perfectly) some of the time, and some of the time, very messy.  I like the approach of not trying to reach perfectionism, but rather, a home that can open its doors at any time for anyone, without embarrassment. 

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Join with me a visit to  Angela for "Tuesday Review"....

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Every once in a while,I discover an author that I really enjoy.  It might be their sense of writing style, or perhaps the depthness of a given subject I glean wisdom from.  A book I recently read about becoming more organized, I came across an author that I truly enjoyed.     Her name is Karen Ehman - and after reading my first book by her, I thought I would look at what else she has written.  I ordered, A Life That Says Welcome, and subtitled, Simple Ways To Open Your Heart & Home to Others.

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I liked the book cover right from the start.  An open  window frame painted a soft green - the exact color that I've decorated in several of rooms in my home, with brightly colored fuscia flowers in the center of the open window.  The book cover itself, said to me, "Welcome."  

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It was one of those books that is easy to read, and serves as a good reminder to open our homes and our hearts to others.  Providing hospitality is not a natural for me - but rather - it is something I prayed that God would help me with.    He continually provides grace in this area.

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What I got most out of this book was the reminder that our home need not be perfect in which to invite guests.  "Reasonably Clean and Clutter Free,"  was a commonly repeated phrase I read in this book.  It makes having guests over for dinner (or the weekend) with this goal in mind, rather than aiming at perfection.  Perfection would render hospitality to big of a job for me to handle, at this season in my life - four children at home, and  homeschooling.   Reasonably clean and clutter free is a task I can handle - or at least - most of the time.

Summer is the season I play, rest, and enjoy.  I garden, go trail riding, and get outside a whole lot.  I also use this time for catching up on projects in our home that has been neglected (a back closet is on the agenda), and organizing all the other areas that have been avoided. 

I also like to spend time reading books that pertain to the educating of our children.  I like to meditate on what it is I want to do next year in our school.  What did we accomplish last year?  What do I want to do differently in this upcoming fall?  What will my direction be?  I read the Bible, I seek His wisdom, and I ask for His agenda in the lives of my children.

I often do not need to buy any new books – just pull from the shelves some good ones I already possess.  One of my favorites is a series of small booklets by Marilyn  Howshall.  The particular booklet I was reading this weekend is called, The Science, Art and Tools of Learning.  I underline and highlight when I read.  And if I read something that really hits me as a valuable thought that I need to ponder and meditate on, I close my book and just think. 

While sitting on the dock this morning, enjoying the sun and the sound of the waves, I did read something that made me stop, and close the book.  

“…perfectionism in any area indicates a person may be image-conscious. This is a sin and not to be equated with striving for quality in all we do. Perfectionism standards in the home environment will always stifle and hinder true growth from occurring.  Self-centeredness is at the root of perfectionism because it cares more about external appearances than it does for people.  The second step is to begin laying perfectionism down.  Do not only recognize it in your underlying motivations but acknowledge it to yourself and to God and begin to overcome this hindrance…”  (Marilyn Howshall, Book 1, The Science, Art and Tools of Learning.)

Masada

The Last Fortress

by Gloria D. Miklowitz

This is a historical novel in the time of 72 C.E.    Masada is a fortress that is high above the Dea Sea.  The Romans had been in a four-year-war with the Jews, and won, therefore they were mistreating the Jews now in captivity.  A remnant of them (approx. 1,000) escaped to this abandoned fortress of Masada that King Herod had built centuries ago, a place where he had planned to escape to if needed.  The fortress seemed to be impregnable. 

The book is written as if it is a journal. It alternates from the view point of a Jew that is within the fortress, and a journal kept by a Roman Commander that was in charge of 20,000 Romans trying to take the fortress into their possession and take back the escaped Jews.

It is an interesting story. My daughter, Rachel (15) liked it and thought it was a good book.  It is a good way to teach this part of history that will stay with them way better than just teaching it as a history fact.

I read it to all the kids in our history time.  There is love, romance, friendship, and intrigue.  Warning: It does have a very sad ending.

Homeschooling For Eternity

By Skeet Savage

I bought this book because I liked the title. "Homeschooling For Eternity," is so true.  The author, Skeet Savage, I had never heard of, but I  guess that she is well known in the homeschool community as she travels and speaks as well as writes books.

She had a few particular good quotes.

"If each day you are asking Him to order your steps, then anything that comes your way that day will be viewed not as an interruption to your plans but as God's divine purpose and plan for your life.  Some of what comes your way has been allowed there so that you can take dominion over it while somethings that you will face must simply be accepted as that which cannot be changed. "

"What is more important - to achieve academic success, or to nurture children who faithfully grow and mature into the full stature of His image?"

(Both quotes are taken from page 52.)

"When approached properly, homeschooling is such a simple, natural process! Generally speaking, the classroom model does not fit in the homeschool setting over the long haul... 

It is not your job to personally try to impart every morsel of knowledge to each individual child. Rather you must seek to set up a well-balance educational buffet and then call them to dinner! Your children will need to be equipped and taught how to learn, and then properly motivated to pursue learning on their own initiative."

(pg 61)

The following quotes came from the chapter, entitled,

 "Ways We Make It Hard On Ourselves".

"Homeschooling that brings Glory to God is God-inspired, God-motivated, God-driven, God-directed, and God-blessed.  The secret to successfully managing your homeschool it to keep your priorities in order. The ultimate goal should be to meet God's requirements for homeschooling - and not someone else's.

"Overloading is one of the main factors that contribute to the malady known as "homeschool burnout."  When the homeschool load begins to feel HEAVY, mark my words, you've taken on more than the Lord intended.  Somewhere along the way, we have picked up something that our God never intended for us to carry.  "Take My yoke upon you and learn from Me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls.  For My yoke is easy and My burden is light"   Matt. 11:29,30

"What am I against is worldly indoctrination with non-essential information during the most formative years of their lives.  Instead of cramming my children's heads with textbook education which scope and sequence which was based on the gorvernment's idea of what is important, we were learning about our God and His Kingdom and this world that He has created and how we fit in to His plans in the larger scheme of things."

"As Christians, we cannot embrace or enforce an extra-Biblical standard. To do so is to require a standard that our God does not require. To arbitrarily follow and embrace the worldly and carnal man's philosophy of education is not a goal that can be pursued in full confidence and faith that it is pleasing to the Lord or in compliance with His will - and He says that whatever is not of faith is sin."

(pg 106-109)

A chapter about over-commitment has this quote,

"The key to true and lasting success in this context lies in recognizing the inherent value  hidden in those first four letters - H-O-M-E.  Proper training of children involves devoting undivided, uninterrupted, quality time to communicating and walking out those lessons that we must teach (and learn) on a line-upon-line, day-to-day basis." 

(pg 115)

"Homeschoooling is God's plan.  It is not a tack-on to someone else's educational objective, or just an alternative approach to any number of educational options...Since He is the author of this plan, it makes perfect sense that you should allow Him to exercise absolute LORDship over your homeschool....Allow nothing - or no one - to usurp His authority over your homeschool."

(pg 119)

A Biblical Psychology of Learning

By Ruth Beechik

I bought this book because I like all of Ruth Beechik's books that I have read previously. I also thought it would be interesting to know the "Biblical Psychology of Learning."  Ruth Beechik is a lifetime teacher and studied to be one through the universities. Her books goes into great detail of all the scholars and educational theories that are out there. 

One of her main points in the book is that mankind today credits all that we learn to originate from the mind.  The Bible says that all of our issues in life spring from the heart. Because of our understanding of the mind and how it works, people generally think that the Bible really means "mind" when it says "heart".  She goes about in this book showing that she believes that the word "heart" really does mean "heart", not mind.

A team of doctors have  researched the role of heart,and they have found the heart and brain to interact in surprising ways.  One of their findings concerns what we might call "stiff necks".  (Bible passages that refer to a stiff neck: Exodus 32:9; Deut. 9:6, 13, II Kings 17:14).

"Now in the neck is the carotid sinus.  This is one of two major origination points of nerve fibers which sense heart messages from the walls of the main arteries.  In other words, this sinus area is a transmitting station where heart messages are converted into nerve messages which can be understood by the brain.  The other major transmitting station is near the heart itself.  A main artery travels through the neck carrying its messages from the heart.  At the transmitting station the vagus nerve picks up the messages by sensing pressure and other complex signals from the artery wall.  The home office of the vagus nerve is not far off, as it is in the hindbrain, the lower part of the brain.  The vagus nerve takes home a message and the hindbrain uses it in its complex task of regulating the body operations.”

The Bible uses  the word heart more than 800 times.   “…Scripture attributes a central place to heart in spirit-soul-activities and affections.  Head and brain may be the noblest part of man and stand in close relation to soul and spirit.  But heart if central.”

The great scientists of ancient cultures, both in the West and in the Orient, held this view.  Hippocrates, the father of modern medicine, did not attribute  any soul functions to the brain. 

A theologian, that lived during the 1800’s, named Franz Delitzsch, sought to understand the implication of Scriptures using the word “Heart”, and the scientists understanding of the mind. Ruth Beeschik translates his view on this. “If it can be proved that the heart and brain “talk” to each other, that would explain the spiritual importance that Scripture gives to heart.  He had in mind the nervous character of the heart rather than its muscular character. His idea was that an impression could   t in the brain, which would stimulate the heart. The heart, in turn, would react upon the brain, adding emotion to the impression.  From brain, to heart, to brain.” (pg.  37)

The author correlates the theologians thoughts with two modern day doctors, 125 years later, studying the importance of heart in behavior.  The Bible’s references to heart show that it has far more work to do than just pumping blood.    Where Ruth Beechik is going with all of this is to show that the way to our children’s learning is through their heart, not their head, by pumping in knowledge for knowledge sake.

From a scientific view, after she explains the physiologic discoveries of heart vs. mind, “it admits the possibility that the heart does have something to do with motivation, will, and learning, and that the Bible was using the right word all through the years we were making excuses for it.” (pg 39)

Matthew 22:37, this verse itself, proves that God does use the word heart as a synonym for mind, since both are mentioned. “Thou shalt love the Lord thy God with all thy heart, and with all thy soul, and with all thy mind”.s

After spending quite a few chapters establishing the fact that true learning begins in the heart, not the mind, she then establishes the foundation for all of learning in the heart.  The foundation is that learning begins with discipline.  When parents discipline they are really teaching. (pg 56)

Godly discipline leads to the fear of the Lord, and this leads to wisdom.  Our children’s first impressions of God the father will be through their earthly father.  “Children who are disciplined learn respect for their parents and teachers.  And that respect can be transferred to God.”   

“The fear of the Lord was the beginning of this wisdom, and instruction was its growth”. 

Proverbs 9:9 “Give instruction to a wise man, and he will be yet wiser:  teach a just man, and he will increase in learning.” 

The foundation of all learning begins with discipline.

With discipline as the foundation, the sequence of learning should begin with purpose, not content.  Intention of the heart leads to knowledge. Those with purpose learn.

Method is not what really matters. “The interest, motivation, discipline to learn and all the heart matters within the student count more than the method and the organization of content. “ 

A way to give  a child purpose, interest, and motivation to learn what your about to teach, is to first provide a framework for learning. Tell the student where their learning is going to lead, what  they are going to understand, or what rule they will be able to use. 

“A heart for learning and the discipline to undergird it are necessary for all learning.”

This book was just a reinforcement of the fact that learning does not begin with teaching rote facts for the sake of teaching knowledge.  We must reach our children’s heart, first.  We reach this through the teaching them of God, and instilling the fear of God (the beginning of wisdom).  I believe that much of this teaching the fear of God can be taught through just the virtue of reading the Bible to them. Here they see a Sovereign God that rules. A God that punishes sin, but also shows mercy and compassion to the sinner.  

What Your Doctor May NOT Tell You About Premenopause

Balance Your Hormones and Your Life From Thirty to Fifty

by John R. Lee, M.D.,Jesse HAnley, Md. ,  Virginia Hopkins

If you are between the ages 30 and 50, this is a book you should read.  It is filled with tons of information that we all need to know and will give you the knowledge you need to stay healthy.   Women's cycles, heavy bleeding, estrogen dominance, and not enough progesterone, pms, infertility,  and hormone balance, cancer, just to name a few of the subjects.  If there was but one health book you would read, I would recommend this one for women's issues. And believe me, your  doctor really won't tell you what this book will.  There are safer alternatives to drugs and surgery.

I learned a lot of things and now I feel like giving it to my holistic doctor to inform him of things he has misled me on. Now, if I can just think of a tactful way of doing this....

I just finished reading a book that I wish I possessed about a decade ago!!

It is called:

Reading Reflex

The Foolproof Phono-graphix Method for Teaching Your Child to Read

by Carmen McGuinness and Geoffrey McGuinness

I recommend this book if you have one that is just starting to learn to read ( I do) and also, if you have one that needs some remedial help ( I do).  It is supposed to be able to help the beginner as well as an adult. 

My child that needs a bit of remedial help is one that thinks very logical. There are so many exceptions to the rules in phonics, that it is hard for him to understand why there are so many rules made to be broken.  This book teaches reading in a way that is best for a child such as this one. 

There are many things we do when we teach our children to read that can actually eventually harm their overall reading fluency and comprehension. A few of these, were things that I do often. 

If you are just starting out teaching a child to read, this book recommends that you only teach the sounds. Do not teach the names of the alphabet. Just the sound. To teach both the name and the sound is overloading the child with information he doesn't need in order to read and can actually confuse him in the long run.

They recommend not teaching the sounds of the letters with pictures on flash cards (boy, I was glad I got this book because I was just starting to teach reading with flash cards with pictures on them). The reason is because this teaches the child to guess what the words are with the clue being the first letter of the word.

They recommend you start teaching your child to put together short 3 letter words right away. Don't wait. As soon as they can recognize the sounds c, a, t, teach them how to put that together and say the word.  They have lots of words and games that you can photocopy for yourself in order to teach your child.

They recommend that you not teach the phonics rule that says, "when two vowels go walking the first one does the talking",  because there are so many exceptions to this rule.  The authors of this book have learned much from their reading  institute, Founders of Read America, Inc,   The students that had the most needed remedial help all had been confused at some point in their reading stages by some of the above mentioned things, and then some others I haven't mentioned.

I purchased this resource from:

Sonlightcurriculum.com

I am just finishing listening to the last cd of a series and I wanted to share this resource with you.

It is called:

 EFFECTIVE PARENTING OF TEENS, What the Bible Says About Raising Teenagers

by Reb Bradley

If you have teens, or even more importantly (in my opinion) about to have a teenager, these cd's are awesome.  First of all, I love Reb Bradley's style of delivering a message.  I am always put-off by a certain piousness, but he lacks this, and instead, has a great amount of humility.  He has a large family, and has already raised a few (grown and out of the house, as I understand it).  He speaks as one that has made mistakes, and learned from them. He also speaks with a lot of wisdom. Obviously, he is one that has been humbled by his mistakes and was taught by them.  He still has children at home that he is raising. 

When I was listening to these cd's, I was encouraged, in one way, because many of the things he mentioned were already things I believed in strongly. Yet, he taught me a whole lot of things I'd never heard before.  It dawned on me as listening to these cd's, that the best time to really listen to these would be before your children become teenagers.  And then, I further thought, wow, what if you listened to these while your children were really young, so you would know what your aiming for as young adults?  I have all of these age groups:  one teenager, one pre-teen (12), one eight year old, and a 5 year old. In addition, I have two grandchildren that I am so excited about sharing these cd's with my oldest daughter to listen to just as soon as I finish with them.

If my computer was nicer to me, it would let me link the following website, but, it's rather uncooperative, whether it be pictures or anything outside of the word print. So, here is the website you can consider purchasing these cd's.  Their great!

http://www.homeschooloasis.com/shop.cfm?page=list.cfm&action=list&criteria=133

To start my summer off right, I decided that a new book I recently had ordered, had better be put on the top of my priorities list.  I tend to read fast so on a recent out of town, business trip with my husband, I read this book every free second I had.  I sure am glad I did too.

The reason I even have this book is because of another book I had just read, preceding this. The Lifetime of Learning Approach, by Marilyn Howshall.  In her book, which I found to be a very deep book, one worthy of reading and rereading in order to comprehend it all.  I read book one: The Science, Art, and Tools of Learning, and knew that this author had something to say that I needed to hear.  So I went online and ordered almost every book her internet site offered (they are mostly booklets, I spent about $105.00).  One of these books that I received (this was the biggest of them) was this one: Saying Goodbye to Whining, Complaining, and Bad Attitudes...in you and your kids!  by Scott Turansky and Joanne Miller.

When I read a book, I underline or tag with a pencil notation anything I think is noteworthy to come back to.  Then, if time permits (and too often it has not) I like to write a book report on what I read, kind of a layering of learning for retention's sake.  On this entry, I'm going to share my underline and tagged notations of what I thought was good in this book.

"Parents may think that the negative behavior they see in their children is simply a stage they'll grow out of.  Unfortunately, instead of growing out of bad patterns, children actually grow into them.  If not counteracted, selfish habits will simply become more entrenched."  (Pg. 14)

Whew! If for only one paragraph, this paragraph was worth this book for me.  I've always held this belief, that kids just outgrow their phases. With this as my paridigm of thought raising children, no wonder I've been guilty of 'keeping busy' with things I considered very important - the house, the laundry, the meals, shopping, school. If the kids were fighting and issues were happening that they asked me to intervene, I didn't have time to stop, there was so much to get done.  Just work it out yourselves, kids. Yet, after realizing through this book that I am entrenching bad habits by letting these issues go, by not paying attention to these, by letting them just outgrow their phases, I am neglecting the most important things.  My house can always get dusted, at any given time.  But time is passing by and eternal souls are growing up, this time can never be replaced.  I may be embarrased by a messy house, but what's really worse?  Being known as not a perfect housekeeper, or the alternative, when the kids are grown, I see the fruits of selfishness and impatience and other things like that.  I can never go back and undo this time.  I need to put my self-image on the altar to God.  I need to quit worrying about what other people think of my outward circumstances and focus more on the internal of my own priorities and my children's character and nurturing them to develop the fruits of the spirit. 

"God knew that selfishness would hinder relationships, so he provided honor as the solution.  Romans 12:10 says, "Honor one another above yourselves."  Honor counteracts selfishness in a family, and it does it in a positive way." (Pg. 15)

This book is all about the term, 'honor'.  It's used throughout the book, woven through every page and seemingly, almost every paragraph.  I have 6 children, ages 24, 23, 14, 11, 7, and 5.  My oldest 2 are now married.  It has been an interesting phenomon...to have 2 children, raise them for 10 years, and then to start up again, having 4 more.  I'm 48 years old, my husband is 54.  We've been married for 30 years (as of this coming September 10, 2006). 

When we were raising our first 2 kids, we were right along in sync with our peer group.  Our friends and family were also raising their little family, usually 2 or 3 kids each.  But, when God blessed us with this second little group of children, we became to look very peculiar among every one we knew.  I think there wasn't anyone among us, friends or family, that wasn't shocked. My oldest daughter was 10, my youngest son was 9.  Everyone thought we were finished having kids, as  all of our peers were.  The third child, was kind of novel, I think, a shock, but, these things happen, as I'm sure our onlookers considered.  But, when the fourth child came, just a few years later, well, now that was really just plain weird.  One 'mistake', one 'oops baby', understandable.  But two?  At the age of 38? 

If this surprised them all, just think when we had baby #5, at the ripe age of 40 and my husband, 48.  Now, this was not novel, this was just plain  crazy.  Bizarre.  What in the world are these two people thinking? Have they fully lost it?  I started getting a lot of rather crude remarks, by family, friends, and acquaintances.  As each baby was really special to me, at course, these remarks hurt.  Each baby was as important to me as the very first one.  You don't love each child a little less the more you get, really!  In fact, the more you have,  I have personally found, the more capacity for love you seem to have been given.  The only way I could describe this to you, is that the heart is like a muscle, the more you use it, the more it grows and becomes stronger and more able to love. 

But the story doesn't end here  - we went on to have baby #6 at the age of 42, and my husband that had just turned 50.  At this point, I found people just resigned. They quit (at least at appearance to me) giving the crude remarks, the questions (How many are you going to have? Are you going to quit now?  This IS going to be the last one, isn't it? ....)  I guess everyone had come to  grips by now that we were just plain ecentric, weird.

My oldest daughter is now 24, with two children.  M y son, he just married this last June 2nd, 2006.  I marvel at what an interesting journey this has been.  At the wedding of my son, I sat down for a few minutes with the pastor that had performed the ceremony.  He and his wife were in the same age bracket as my husband and I. They have 4 kids, all grown, in the age bracket of my oldest 2.  He was commenting to another family at the table, that just as soon as you think you've got all the answers of how to raise kids, it's all over, it's 4th quarter, their grown.  It's too late to have all the answers now, you can't use them.  I commented to him, "You know, most people are sure glad their not me, with 4 children yet to raise, but, on the same token, I've often thought how glad I am that I'm not them.  I have had the rare opportunity to have 2 children, raise them, see the end product...graduating from highschool, getting married, growing their own family.  I get to sit back and observe, meditate.  What would I do differently?  Because I do have 4 more to go.  I can use those mistakes I feel I made, and fix them.  I can learn from them and incorporate a new style of parenting if needed. 

Which leads me to the full circle of the term 'honor'.  Personally, I can look back and see many situations and circumstances that I certainly did not show 'honor' in my family to my children.  I can look back and reflect, see fruits of the spirit that were missing in my life (patience especially) and wish I could undo those times. Those are bad memories to me.  I wish I could go back and be the perfect parent.  Have no dishonoring moments that my children would remind me of , in jokes, or in seriousness. Ouch, it sure hurts when I'm reminded of one of my temper tantrums, or my impatience.  I'd love for my kids to look back and say, "Wow, my mom sure was perfect."  As a homeschooling mom, I spent 24/7 with these kids, and if two kids ever knew their mom well, these two did.  There was no 8 hours blocked time away at school for them, both of us seperated for that time.  No, we were together all the time. Talk about opportunities for stress... your the mom, your the school teacher, your the principal.  Talk about responsibility...if these kids don't learn to read, write, and do arithmetic, it'll be my fault.  The stress of homeschooling was great for me, I took it serious, in fact, looking back, I think I took it way too serious. I think I had my priorities upside down half the time. 

Given all the mistakes I feel I made, Praise God, my two older children I am very proud of. They grew up to be responsible and loving adults, in spite of my failings.  However, raising the next 4, I have time to meditate, just what did I do right, and what did I do wrong with the first 2?  And try to repeat the good things I did, and correct the mistakes.  Having an internal code that says to honor my children in my actions and reprimands is a great place to start. 

Interesting Facts About the Word Honor

"The difference between respect and honor is not simply semantics.  As with most synonymns, there are important differences between the two words.  The Greek words used in the New Testament illustrate the difference betweeen respect and honor.  The Greek word often translated "respect" is phobos, from which we get the Engtlish word phobia.  At its root, it means "to fear."  Respect is outward, focusing on a person's position or on the power of an office.  People respect police officers or judges because of their authoritative position.  When only respect is emphasized in family life, it leads to outer conformity, false intimacy, and, eventually, distant relationships.

The Greek word that is often translated "honor" in the New Testament comes from timae, which means "worth" or "value."  It's one thing to respect (fear) God because of his tremendous power and greatness and another thing to honor (value) Him because of those qualities." (Pg 18)

Pg. 29  Scripture says, "Honor your father and mother" eight times.

The Real Goal of Discipline: 

"The goal of discipline is to help children not only act correctly, but also to think correctly and to become the people God made them to be.  Honor addresses what's going on below the surface and considers a child's heart." (Pg. 23)

Funny story on page 25:

"One day a dad was out in the woods and kicked over a bottle.  Immediately a genie popped out and offered him one wish.  Thinking hard, the dad got out a map and, looking it over, decided to ask for peace in the Middle East.

"Well, that's very hard," said the genie.  "There hasn't been peace in the Middle East for many years."

The dad paused for a moment and then brightened with a thought.  He turned to the genie and said, "Well, then, maybe you could just do something to teach my children to show honor to my wife and me."

The genie paused for a moment, then thoughtfully said, "Let me look at that map again."

On making your expectations clear:

(Pg. 28 and 29 explain this really good, but one paragraph is worthy of including here:

"Sometimes children become frustrated because they've done what's expected, but then their parents add more work without considering their plans or desires.  It's as if the reward for doing a good job is receiving more work.  This makes learning obedience more difficult.  Both children and parents benefit from clarifying the expectations up front. 

I know I've been guilty of this!

Pg. 32

Too many parents have ended up with children who won't follow the simplest instructions without discussing it.  Sending the message, "Obey first, and then we'll talk about it" emphasizes obedience.

pg. 33

Parents, in an attempt to honor their children, often make the mistake of justifying the instruction before the child obeys.  They believe the child has a right to understand why the request is being made and to talk about it...Many parents have reacted to authoritarianism and ended up with children who cannot folow instructions without a dialogue.  These children make poor employees, develop selfish attitudes about following someone else's leadership, and have a difficult time in relationships - all because they haven't learned how to sacrifice their own agenda for others.

Think about this approach in light of your spiritual life.  Sometimes God asks His people to obey even when they don't understand why.  In Genesis 22, Abraham was told to sacrifice his son Isaac without understanding why God would make such a request.  Abraham's obedience was an act of faith.... Acts. 10, Peter went to Cornelius's house without knowing why...Obedience does not have to hinge on understanding why.

Discussing an instruction can also give children the wrong impression about obedience - that if they don't like the request they have just cause to resist.  The fact is, many times we adults have to obey even if we don't like it or it's not convenient. 

I sure needed to hear that!

Pg. 59

How you respond to the decisions of leaders or to the news reaches children how to respond to you.  The way Mom and Dad treat each other, even in disagreements, is an example to children of how they should treat others.

pg. 66

Every person develops habits of relating - including body language, tone of voice, attitude, whether they express their anger or internalize it, and so on.

pg 72, 73

When a family focuses on honor, parents ask different questions.  "I want you two to sit down and think about it.  I'm not concerned about who created the problem.  I want to see who's going to solve it.  When one of you solves the problem, you may both get up."  Instead of trying to play detective, Mom might say,  "Who is going to be the mature one?  Who's going to be a servant and turn off the light?"  The children aren't being asked to work it out.  Each is being asked to demonstrate humility. Parents who....ask questions

that address honoring patterns.  Who is going to be honoring? Who's going to be a problem solver instead of a fault finder?

Parents aren't just trying to get a job done.  They want to also address how the job is done.  A bad attitude is not acceptable. 

Jesus wanted to help his disciples learn to think differently.  He did it by asking different questions.  To teach humility, he asked them, What were you arguing about on the road?"  (Mark 9:33-37).  To teach Philip how to solve a problem using faith he asked, "Where shall we buy bread for these people to eat?"  (John 6:5-13)

The questions parents ask determine how their children will think about themselves and about their attitudes.

Pg. 74

Your responses, attitudes, and actions contribute to their patterns of behavior - or at least your lack of response to a particular problem has allowed it to grow into a habit.

Wow! This book was worth it just for this sentence alone. It hit the spot.

Pg. 81 Interesting fact (and why I sometimes dislike emailing!)

It's been said that only about 10% of a message comes from the words themselves.  By contrast, 35% of the meaning comes from tone of voice, and 55% comes from nonverbal cues, such as gestures, posture, and facial expression.

pg. 93 Different approaches, similar problems

Martin grew up in a power-directed family where children were controlled from the outside.  He didn't have the opportunity to develop his own sense of self-control.  Jackie grew up in a freedom-oriented home where self-control wasn't encouraged. Both learned to be sneaky and manipulative.  Martin tried to get his own way without dominating parents knowing.  Jackie twisted her parents' arms to gain permission.  Both grew up feeling insecure.  Martin feared parental judgment, and Jackie wondered where the limits actually were.  Children don't learn good social skills from either parenting approach, so they often become shy, obnoxious, or self-centered. 

pg 96 Interesting fact:

The words disciple and discipline come from the same root that means "to learn" or "to be a pupil".

pg. 97

...people brought problems to Jesus,  Interestingly enough, he often handed the problem right back to them - or he involved them in the solution as it developed. 

pg 98

Bringing problems to parents is important, and children should be encouraged to get help when they need it.  Parents, however, can use those problems to demonstrate honor to their children and to teach them along the way.  Daily problem solving provides tremendous opportunities to teach children honor in life.

pg. 100

Two things will help you to remove harshness from your interaction with your children:  Talk less and show less emotion.  In an attempt to build relationships, some parents spend too much time dialoguing with their children about instructions.  They try to defend their words, persuade their children to do what they're told, or logically explain the value of obeying.  This is counterproductive.  Furthermore, some parents add anger to the picture, complicating matters.

pg. 101 Awesome Idea!

Firm limits can be presented with gentle words. One method parents can use for gently confronting is the "observe and run"  technique.  This technique simply points out inappropriate behavior and links that behavior to a character quality the child needs to develop. The parent doesn't try to engage in dialogue; he or she just makes the observation and then moves on....These observations don't require a response, but over time they create a recording in the child's head. ... By making continual observations about kindness, honor, thoughtfulness, and other qualitities, you will build an honor tape in your child's head that will last forever.

pg 102

Ordering children around doesn't honor or respect the child.  A commanding or demanding attitude fosters resentment in children. 

pg 103

Children and parents can be friends, but don't let that desire weaken your ability to set limits.  Even in the most honoring of families, confrontation and discipline are necessary.  Some parents seem surprised at this, somehow expecting that children will just want to obey.  It's as if we expect our child to say, "Thanks, Dad, for sending me to my room.  I really appreciate the limits you set for me," or "I'm grateful, Mom when you make me clean up my room and make my bed."  It isn't going to happen.  If we expect our children to always appreciate our discipline, we're going to be frustrated.

 pg 104

Firmness doesn't need to be cold and distant.  Eye contact, gentle words, and extra time can add a personal touch to parenting that helps children feel valued.  Putting your hand on your son's shoulder, calling your daughter close to give an instruction, addressing a child by name, and speaking softly are all ways to show children that they're important.

pg 104

In honor-based parenting, anger is not an appropriate consequence.  Instead, we should learn to reflect sorrow.  Peel away the anger, and you will probably discover that you feel genuinely sad that your child is acting out or choosing to disobey.  You see that their misbehavior may have immediate negative consequences and may even lead to an unhappy and unsuccessful life.  Reflecting sadness is much more beneficial to the child and to the relationship.

pg. 108

Helping children solve problems for themselves communicates honor to them. It says, "I believe in you.  You have what it takes." 

Parents can help their children learn to solve problems by asking open-ended questions and allowing the child to offer solutions.  Too often parents are quick to solve a problem for the child and end the discussion.  Instead, try a good leading question: "What seems to be the matter?"  "What are you going to do about that?"  "Why is this happening?"  When children respond with, "I don't know,"  be careful about launching into a lecture.  Lectures can hinder the process of dicovery.

The goal is to get children thinking for themselves,not just wallowing in the problem or bringing it to you. 

pg 109

Enjoy Children According to their needs and interests

You may think this will be the easiest skill to develop. After all, you've been enjoying your children for years.  But many parents, after careful examination, discover that they're enjoying themselves and inviting their children to join in.  Parents determine the conversation topics, the entertainment choices, or the travel destinations.  We often make choices we think will please our children, but in reality, we're loving them in ways that we ourselves would like to be loved.  Many children are willing to join in, and the family can still end up having a lot of fun together.  But focusing on a child's interests and topics of conversation can be a good way to show honor. 

pg 110

Take an interest in your children's activities and stories.  Listen to their ideas and plans.  Show that you value them by paying attention while they're talking.  Use the things you've learned to surprise them with small gifts of love.  The skill of enjoying children according to their needs and interests is a way of honoring them.

pg 111

Envision a positive future for your children

Children believe what we say about them.

What we say, they become.  The qualities we focus on end up being the ones they see in themselves and work to develop. 

Take time to think about each of your children.  Ask yourself, "What are they good at?  What are they doing well? How will that help them down the road?"

pg 116  This book was worth buying just for the following paragraphs alone:

Conflict with brothers and sisters is a child's first class in relationships. Your home is the classroom, you are the teacher, and honor is the curriculum. each conflict situation becomes an opportunity for teaching children how to get along.

God created the family as a place to learn and grow.  Within the family, children can learn to treat others with kindness and to respond in a healthy way to unfairness or perceived injustice.  They can learn to tolerate irritations, manage their anger, and work closely with people who are different.  Addressing sibling conflict isn't easty, but the work you do now will not only make family life more peaceful, it will help your children develop adult skills that will assist them for the rest of their lives.

There are three roadblocks that hinder children from honoring each other:  anger, selfishness, and foolishness.  These roadblocks and their corresponding solutions provide the curriculum for "relationship school."

pg. 119,120

In order for children to overcome the roadblock of anger, they need a vision for being a peacemaker, rather than a problem maker.

pg 121

Tattling is one way that children point out problems rather than trying to make things better.  It's important to teach children what offenses they should report to a parent and what they should try to resolve themselves or just ignore. 

Sometimes a child should overlook an irritation and not be so easily provoked.  Handling conflict Biblically: Matt 18:15-16. If a problem cannot be resolved between two people, then one of them should involve another person in the process.

pg. 122

Children and adults have different tolerance levels.  The good news is that tolerance levels aren't permanently set.  Honor helps children learn to value the person above the irritation. 

pg 122

Selfishness

A second major cause of sibling conflict is selfishness, always wanting to be first or best.  Children are usually self-centered and demonstrate this in various ways:  boasting and envy  (wanting the biggest piece, being first, or wanting the best seat are all examples of this.)  They go to great lengths to prove they are better, loved more, or got there first. 

Funny Story:

A mother was preparing pancakes for her sons, Zachary, age 5, and Tyler, age 3.  The boys began to argue over who would get the first pancake.  The mother realized that this was an opportunity to teach servanthood to her children.  "If Jesus were sitting here, he would say, 'Let my brother have the first pancake.  I can wait."   Zachary turned to his younger brother and said, "Tyler, you be Jesus." 

pg 124

Being a servant helps children grow out of selfishness.  You can begin to teach this by rewarding the child who demonstrates a servant attitude.  Children who give in may not get the first pancake, but they get a parent's praise, a much more valuable reward.

Children naturally want to grab the best for themselves.  In contrast, parents should honor the child who gives the other person the biggest piece or who lets someone else sit in the best seat or who can listen to someone else's story without saying he or she knows something better.

Teach them that fair doesn't mean equal.  The phrase.."That's not fair!".  The basis for this statement is comparison. Children who rely on comparison to feel good about themselves often end up in conflict.  They want to have what others have.  They think they want to be treated the same as everyone else, but what they really want is to feel special.

Rather than trying to treat children as equals, it's better to treat each child as unique.  Each of your children is very different, so why try to treat each the same?  They have different gifts and needs.  Treat your children as individuals and telling them up fron that they will not be treated equally can help reduce some of the comparison in a family.

pg 129

Proverbs 10:23

18:2

18:6

18:7

18:13

20:3  It is to a man's honor to avoid strife, but every fool is quick to quarrel.

29:11  A fool gives full vent to his anger, but a wise man keeps himself under control.

Foolish children don't take responsibility for their actions, "I was just playing,"  "He hit me first,"  and "She started it" are common excuses for hurtful behavior.  Blaming is the opposite of taking responsibility.  Blaming is a sign of foolishness. 

Teaching children to take responsibility is the first step toward empowering them to change.  One way to do this is to ask the child, "What did you do wrong?" as part of the discipline process. Ask this in an encouraging and helpful way, with an emphasis on learning from mistakes.  No matter what others have done, children are responsible for their own actions; the sooner they learn that, the better. Blaming others is never a wise response.  Having children say what they did wrong teaches them to take responsibility for their actions.

Funny story: (pg 133)

In one family, the two teenage boys continually picked on their little brother, Danny, who was eleven years old.  They put shaving cream in his shoes, hid his baseball mitt in the trash can, and tied string around the legs of the bed and dresser so Danny would trip when he got up in the morning.  Danny never responded to them, though, and seemed to ignore their mean jokes.  The brothers started to feel guilty.  One day they came to Danny.  "We've decided not to play mean tricks on you anymore."

"So, you're not going to hide my baseball mitt?"

"No."

"And you're not going to put shaving cream in my shoes?"

"No."

"And you're not going to tie string to trip me?"

"No."

"Danny smiled.  "Okay, Then I'll stop spitting in your soup."

pg 134

Anger, selfishness, and foolishness are three roadblocks to family harmony and the cause of much conflict. Learn to target your parenting in these areas.  View them as opportunities to develop honor.  Teach children to be peacemakes and servants and to be wise. 

pg 138

Teen years...ages of 11 to 14..

young people enter a new stage of cognitive development.  They begin to adopt a value system they can call their own and gain a greater ability to reason, question, and evaulate their world.  Adolescence is a time when young people begin to think for themselves and make their own decisions.

pg 139

The portion of the brain that controls emotions (the limbic area) experiences new activity patterns during the early teen years.  That's why teens may experience moodiness, emotional swings, and a heightened desire for excitement and adventure.  Unfortunately, the part of the brain that controls reason and judgment (the prefrontal cortex) develops more slowly and is often not fully mature until the later teens and early twenties.

Brain development further motivates young people to evaluate the things they're asked to do, the values they've been taught, and the daily choices they make.  Subconsciously, they're asking themselves, "What is my purpose in life?"  "What kind of person do I want to be?"  "How do I want others to perceive me?" Questioning itself isn't wrong.  Rather, questioning can lead teens to think more deeply about issues, seek solid answers, and develop personal convictions.

pg 146

Honor is a step of faith and requires that a person live life in a way that acknowledges God's care and control.  Honor is easy with some people, but it seems that each person has someone in their life who's a challenge to honor.  When teens learn to honor by faith, new doors open up in relationships.  Some people have the misconception that you must like someone in order to show honor.  That's not true.  Honor isn't about liking someone.  It's about valuing a person you may not like.  As teens get older, they'll find others who are difficult to honor.  It may be  a boss, a church leader, a parent, or even their own child.  During these times, they must trust God an dhonor by faith. 

pg 154

Although you may be able to "control" young children, the key word for teenagers is "influence".  Five words describe different ways you can influence teens.

Teach: Provide them with new information or help them to understand another facet of life.

Encourage:  Remind them of the benefits of moving in the right direction.

Entreat:  Earnestly ask them to act in a mature, responsible and wise way.

Admonish: Warn, caution, or advise them by anticipating possible negative consequences.

Persuade:  Use relationship, rewards, and consequences to motivate them to make wise choices.

pg 159

Make observations for teens and give them feedback about their actions.  "It looks as if you're easily influenced by your peers."  "You seem to be having trouble managing money."  "Those words are unkind."  Habits are often ingrained, and continual observations move the teen slowly to recognition of others and how to treat them with honor.

Some of the discouraging behavior you see in your teen may stem from what will eventually become a wonderful strength.  They need guidance to channel their energy and build honoring character.  Talk about character, not just behavior. A teen, struggling with doing a sloppy job with chores, may need to understand that thoroughness is an importnat quality to develop.  As parents focust their discipline on developing character, teens can see its relevance to their growing independence. 

pg 160

Correcting teens is an unpleasant part of parenting, burt it is necessary if you want to teach your teens to be successful and responsible adults.

Conflict is part of any parent-teen relationship because conflict is a part of life.  The only people who don't experience conflict live in a cemetary.  The way conflict is handled in a home is very important because it builds patterns that teens will take into other relationships and eventually into a family of their own.   Don't be afraid of conflict. Use conflict times to learn valuable relating skills, and then model and teach those skills to your teen.

pg 161

Conflict represents opportunity.  Teens watch how parents handle conflict and resolve differences. Listening and affirming a young person's thinking is an honoring step in conflict management.  "I understand you'd discipline your sister differently.  Your ideas make sense.  At this point, I'm the one who has to make the decision, and I'm going to emphasize something different.  But I appreciate your ideas."  Affirming or validating a teen's thinking or reasoning is helpful for their development.

 pg 162

We all wish others would agree wtih us; if they can't, then understanding and listening are the next best things.

Funny:

pg 162

One parent made the observation that "Issac must have been 12 years old when Abraham was asked to sacrifice him on Mount Moriah."

"Why?" asked another parent.

"Because if he was a teenager, it wouldn't ahve been a sacrifice."  .

pg 165

Is it possible to honor your family too much? As with many things in life, too much of a good thing is not only bad - it can be harmful.  Families who focus too much on themselves become self-centered. 

You can teach your children self-indulgence and a me-first attitude.

The family can become an idol. It devous financial resources, along with time and energy that might be used in other ways.  While honor in the family is essential, there is a higher calling:  to honor God above all else. 

pg 166

Family is important. But it's not the ultimate priority - God is.  Take time to teach your children that they're valuable, but also remind them that they're not the most important thing in your life.  This will give your children a precious gift as you model the importance of loving God and caring for others.

Some parents enjoy their family so much they just want to capture it somehow and never let it go.  They know their children won't be young long, and they've heard those testimonies of older people who say, "If I had it to do over again, I'd spend more time with my kids."  We don't want that failure on our conscience, so we move to the other extreme.  We all want to enjoy the good times, but some benefits in life are gained through giving not through hoarding. 

pg 168

The family that is a blessing to others is blessed itself. The Bible contains examples of families who reached out to others.  In 2 Kings 4::8-37 a family opened its home to the prophet Elisha. Jesus often took refuge in the home of his friends Lazarus, Mary, and Martha to relax, eat and minister.  As is often the case, these families were later blessed because of their extension of honor to others.

pg 169 

Some well-meaning parents think that isolating their family will protect them. Although protection can be helpful for a period of time, it's also productive to have children see the contrast between their family and others that are struggling or falling apart.

pg 186

Train your children to live as brothers and sisters in Christ.

Educating the WholeHearted Child

A Handbook for Christian Home Education

(How to Use real books and real life to make your home a vibrant center of living and learning for you and your child.)

Authors: Clay and Sally Clarkson

"For ministry-minded Christian parents, hme education is not simply an "educational alternative."  Rather, it is an issue of obedience and submission to God's will for their family."(pg 4)

"Renew your mind (Romans 12:1,2)   Whether you know it or not, your thinking about education, by cultural default, is already conformed to the world. 

Public education is all we have known as a generation, so it has become the default standard by which we reflexively evaluate "education."

But God commands you to be transformed by renewing your mind with His truth so you can think like He thinks.    He doesn't want us thinking about anything by default.  And that includes our thinking about parenting and education."

Sow For Christ (Galations 6:7,9)

You will reap in your children's  lives exactly what you sow in them as a parent. If you want to reap secure, mature adults, you must sow together the seeds of time, togetherness and training."

(quotes from page 6)

I consider these statements as deep and profound. I am making individual blogs on various quotes because I think they are like gold nuggests. Their too good to get lost in a long blog.  

This is one of my all time favorite books in my personal library.  It met me where I was at when I needed it the most.   It is written by Chris and Ellyn Davis, Published by the Elijah Company.

Here are just some of the things I underlined and tagged while reading this book.

Chapter Nine: Putting It All Together

"The Nineteenth Century Irish poet, W.B. Yeats once said, "Education is not the filling of a bucket, but the lighting of a fire."

As Christian parents who want to "light fires" in the hearts and minds of our children, we can take the best of all of the teaching approaches and the best of the learning theory and allow God to design our courses of study."

Chapter Ten, Choosing Teaching Materials

Rule 1 Invest in Yourself First

"Like it or not, you are the glue that will hold this home schooling endeavor together, so you need to develop a strategy for staying sane and on top of it all."  The authors compare homeschooling to building a house. Look ahead, and plan a strategy, for the long haul.  

" Every teaching parent, whether he or she realizes it or not, has an educational philosophy, some set of values and beliefs about what and how children should be taught."

Rule 9  God gave you your specific children because there is something in you that He wants imparted to them. 

"Teaching materials are only tools to help you impart yourself to (discipile) your children."

Chapter Eleven - Knowledge of the Holy

"As we have tried to find "the ancient path" in educating our children (see Jeremiah 6:16), we have concluded that education is not as much the mastering of skills and information as it is the development of healthy relationships. We want our children to be "rightly related" to God; to themselves, (personal care of their spirit, soul, and body); to others; and to created things (nature, time money, possessions, knowledge, etc.). Academic knowledge, facts and skills assume their proper places as they contribute to healthy relationships in each of these areas.

We also have concluded that God's "good way" of teaching is relational.  We try to disciple our children so that, as much as possible, they learn to do things as they do them with us "when we sit at home, when we walk along the road, when we lie down, and when we get up."

Chapter Twelve   -Creating a Learning Environment

"We live in a "sandwich" generation.  Many of us were poorly prepared for adulthood and have spent most of our lives building the relationships, mastering the skills, and learning the information necessary for effective living.  Yet we are expected to be able to train the next generation.  So we are "sandwiched" between a generation that did not pass on to us what we needed in life and a generation that wants us to pass on to them what they need.  As the Bible says, we are a generation who must "build up the ancient ruins" and "restore the cities to dwell in."  Even though we have never been taught how to do this, we must help our children find the purposes for which they have been created and equip them to accomplish these purposes."

Chapter Sixteen - From Sunup to Sundown

"If God has called you to homeschool, He does not intend for you to be stressed and burned out under this task. (Matt. 11:28-30)

God is impressing upon us that academic achievement is not His main concern.  Simply stated, God's main concern is that our children end up with hearts consecrated to Him."

Chapter Thirteen  -    Homeschooling Is Not About Education

"...What disturbs me is that home-SCHOOLING has become of such importance, homeschooling parents are prioritizing something quite different than what was in the hearts of those early Pioneers when they brought (or kept) their children home during the day.

For those of you who have "brought the school home," let me suggest that you rethink what you are really doing with your children.  Do you ever consider what kind of person this litle boy or girl is to become by the time he or she leaves your home? "

"The very word "homeschooling" can cause us all to forget what we are doing is not about home-SCHOOLING but about creating that context in which we assist God in raising the little ones in our home to become His men and women who are truly prepared for what comes next."

"Children lose when parents don't have a clear vision for what they are really trying to accomplish.  It's simply easier to "bring home the school" along with the child than to ask God what this is all about.  I confess that it's taken 20 years for me to come to enough understanding of why we are homeschooling so that I could put it into word myself."

My personal note
Isn't it wonderful when you detect an authors humility?

Chapter Fourteen - Identity Directed Homeschooling

"When you are "narrowing the focus" so that you concentrate on certain things, you will have to leave other things "out of focus;" you will have to let go of the "good" for the sake of the "best".

Perhaps the biggest fear of homeschooling parents is that their children will have learning "gaps" that something will be left out of their child's education.  Because of this, and because our society promotes over-achievement, parents tend to try and cover too much, to make their children knowledgeable about everything.  The better approach would be to use the elementary years to build a general academic foundation, but then continually "narrow the focus" as the children grow older and as the parents have a better understanding of each child's unique skills, interests, and giftings."

Chapter Twenty -  Educating the Older Child

Principle 4 - What Works At Home Works in the "real" world, too.

"Academics are the smallest element in high school success. We have seen that the values and training received in the home transfer seamlessly into college or work.  The hours spent training a child to mow the lawn or clean the kitchen or care for younger siblings are the very lessons that prepare them for work and for school. Home schoolers often tend to give greater weight and concern to books and tests and curriculum, but we have seen first hand that it is the character training, skill development, and real life experience found in the home that makes our children truly successful in life!"

The above quotes are just a sampling of things I gleaned from this book.  The best part of this book, is the title. When I got this book, I had to wonder, just where in the world did they get this title?  I Saw the Angel In the Marble....?   As I began to read, I was still wondering, what in the world does this title have to do with homeschooling?  I don't know that I would have even ordered it had it not been by reference of another homeschooler via the internet.  But finally, almost in the middle of the book, a story is told that pertains to the Angel in the Marble.  No, I'm not going to even hint at this story because maybe you will be as delightfully surprised as I was when you read it for yourself (and I do encourage everyone to read this book).  The story stuck in my head dramatically and made all the difference in how I see my children through the lens of keeping my children at home with me.

David and Micki Colfax were two public school teachers that decided to move to 47 mountainside acres in Calfiornia.  Instead of a 8-3 school day, the kids were actively involved in managing their ranch.  They worked with their parents in the "collective effort to create an economically viable homestead...and integrated homeschooling into the day-to-day life of building, clearing, planting, tending and harvesting. "

They would come in the house in the afternoon to rest from their work on the ranch, and it was at this time they would do their studies. Their teacher/parents did not spoon-feed them information. They learned on their own.  And at course, the climax of the story: all four went to Ivy-league type of higher educational schools (Harvard for three of them).  And at course, as everyone always mentions, the automatic suspicion is that these 4 kids had an awesome set of intellectual pool of genes inherited from their two parents, but, as the book points out, their all adopted (correct me if I'm wrong, here).

It's a good book to remember when your days aren't structured like a "normal" school day. It is an encouraging testimony of parents that didn't structure every breathing moment for the kids in an academic setting. 

Below is a comment taken from page 54 about the Head-Start program of teaching children to read at a young age.  There is nothing wrong with a child learning to read young, yet, some are just not ready for it.  There is a lot of misguided propoganda out there that motivates fear into parents (and grandparents) that if their child is not reading by a certain age, it's a disastrous thing.  Thus, the purpose of this one and only comment from this book in it's entirity.

pg. 54

"The notion that children are given a leg-up on life if they learn to read when very young was for many years one of the key assumptions underlying perhaps the most universally-approved of the federal poverty programs, Head Start, and is reflected in much of children's educational television broadcasting.  But in fact, there is no evidence that the acquisition of reading skills at an early age is directly related to later intellectual attainment.  Rather, the evidence is that reading "head-starts" tend to fade as other social and psychological factors come into play as children mature.  Indeed, there is evidence that elementary schoolteachers' preoccupation with teaching reading and writing to five and six year olds may do more harm than good, as many children simply are not "reading ready" at this age.

Parents would do better, it appears, not to concern themselves with the acquisition of reading skills, but to endeavor to provide their children with an appreciation for reading. The child who is exposed to books at an early age, who sees his or her parents reading, who is read to, and who is encouraged to spend time with picture books, will all but certainly become a reader in due course. 

EXCERPT FROM BOOK:

The Mission of Motherhood

Subtitled: Touching Your Child's Heart for Eternity

By Sally Clarkson

"...the ultimate key to providing a nurturing environment in my home is me.  The physical surroundings can make a big difference.  In the end, though, what my children and husband need most from me is not a perfect home or perfect training or a perfectly spiritual role model or a wife without faults - but a mother and wife who is committed to doing whatever it takes to love them and make a home for them."

Excerpt from page 166

"My purpose in organizing my household is not to live up to some external value system but to make life easier and more peaceful for the whole family.  I have learned that I can reduce the anxiety we feel by reducing the stressors, at the same time knowing that they will never totally go away - because after all, stress is a part of life.

Learning to live with the tension of never getting all of our work done and still being content is a worthwhile attitudinal goal as we serve our children."

Excerpt from page 169

"...When we care for (our children's) physical and emotional needs with grace and gentle care, they internalize an understanding of God's care.  When we give them a righteous moral base by telling them what to do, modeling right behavior, and applying appropriate discipline, they come to know something of the Lord's righteousness and justice.  When we teach them how to have healthy relationships by modeling unconditional love and encouragement and requiring them to serve others, they instinctively learn something about how God relates to humans and wants us to act. 

Teaching this..."will not happen overnight.  Cultivating an appreciation of God's creation and the "in his image" creativity of our families is a lifelong habit.  It takes years to develop and is built by the ways we choose to live each day."

"In the meantime, little children break the crayons, spill the paint, and fight over the brushes.  Older children will squabble with one another or complain just when we'd like them to admire a sunset or the scenery.  Yet a child's minds, desires, and understanding are still being shaped by a lifetime of being exposed to beauty and creativity - day in and out."

Excerpt from pages 194 and 195 

EXCERPT FROM BOOK:

The Mission of Motherhood

Subtitled: Touching Your Child's Heart for Eternity

By Sally Clarkson

The word wisdom refers to both practical insight or knowledge and discernment about how to make decisions.  In the biblical sense, being wise means understanding God's point of view about daily life and the whole scope of the universe and learning to live and act according to His perspective.

The entire Bible, in a sense, is a wisdom manual - given to us to help us understand God's point of view and live accordingly. 

Excerpt from page 112, 113

EXCERPT FROM BOOK:

The Mission of Motherhood

Subtitled: Touching Your Child's Heart for Eternity

By Sally Clarkson

"Understanding basic morality is also fundamental to teaching children to think biblically.  Before they can ever make right decisions, they need to understand what the Bible says about right and wrong.

...training our children to think biblically about right and wrong often involves teaching the same principles over and over and over again, trusting that someday, in God's own timing, they will get it."

Excerpt taken from page 107

EXCERPT FROM BOOK:

The Mission of Motherhood

Subtitled: Touching Your Child's Heart for Eternity

By Sally Clarkson

"...in order to think biblically, a person needs to know the Bible.  That's probably the most basic aspect of training our children.  They cannot find biblical answers or comfort in the midst of difficulties if they do not know God's Word.  How can they live life well if they don't have a good understanding of life's ultimate instruction book?

The Bible, quite simply, is the richest treasure we can offer our children, the most valuable tool for shaping their thinking.

Excerpt from page 103 and 104

The Mission of Motherhood

Subtitled: Touching Your Child's Heart for Eternity

By Sally Clarkson

I don't just want my kids to be moral.  I don't just want them to know all of the biblical rules for behavior.  I don't just want them to make it through my home with good grades, no drug addiction, and no premarital sex.

I want them to leave my home with a hunger and passion to know God personally and to be used by Him to accomplish great things for His kingdom.  I want them to personally hear God's voice and have His Spirit's gentle touch and impression on their hearts as they read the Scriptures and struggle with the issues of their lives.

That's what God wants for our children as well.  Whatever else we give our children as they grow, He wants us to pass along an eternal vision and purpose as well as a passion for Christ.  If we are wise, we will keep this goal ever before us - to keep focused on what really matters, on the ultimate purpose of our activities as parents."

AMEN!

"Someone once observed, "Christians are like people who are trying to straighten the picture on the wall while the house is burning down!"  Isn't that what we as mothers are tempted to do - to waste our energies trying to meet external standards while our children's deep spiritual needs go unmet and unnoticed?

Excerpt taken from page 80 and 81

EXCERPT FROM BOOK:

The Mission of Motherhood

Subtitled: Touching Your Child's Heart for Eternity

By Sally Clarkson

"When we choose to graciously overlook our children's messes and accidents, we are teaching them to be patient and forgiving with the mistakes of others.  When we react sensitively, thoughtfully, and patiently to them, we are helping to install these qualities in their lives. As they benefit from our unconditional love, they learn to extend it to others as well.  As they watch us extend hospitality, care for others, and pray for them, they learn to make service a part of life.  And as they observe us searching Scripture, spending time with the Lord, and making faith-based decisions, they learn these things as well.  Modeling loving service to our children givens them something to emulate in their own lives."

Excerpt taken from page 66 

The Mission of Motherhood

Subtitled: Touching Your Child's Heart for Eternity

By Sally Clarkson

"What does it mean to practice servant leadership as a mother?  I believe it starts out with a choice.  I have to choose to serve Christ by giving my time and energy to my children - not just when I feel like it but when they need me...

When I separated my squabbling toddlers and gently told them, "God wants you to learn to share and be kind; use your words and hands for gentleness and love, not for anger and selfishness,"  I was training them in righteousness.  When I encouraged my older children to keep trying with their math or their English or their piano lessons, I was teaching them perseverance and helping to shape their minds.  When I switched on the vacuum cleaner for yet another cleanup or kept after my forgetful teenagers to do their chores, I was teaching the importance of domestic order and personal responsibility.

In the end, what could be a better use of my time? "

Excerpt taken from page 68

EXCERPT FROM BOOK:

The Mission of Motherhood

Subtitled: Touching Your Child's Heart for Eternity

By Sally Clarkson

"...As a culture we have lost the vision of the crucial role mothers play in the life of the next generation.  When women are not encouraged to embrace motherhood with a whole heart, as an occupation worthy of a full life's devotion, a part of the basic design of our femininity is devalued.  Women were designed to nurture, to provide a life-giving environment in the home - to provide a center of life for all who live there.  But as the women's movement has gained ground over the course of the century, women have felt less and less free to follow this design.  No longer do we have the moral support of a culture that applauds what we are doing - or even the practical support of other women in our neighborhood. (They're mostly as work during the day.)  In a cultural sense, we have all but lost the right to focus wholeheartedly on creating a home.

At the same time, as women have moved out into the world, our lives - and especially our children's lives - have lost much of the richness and simplicity we once enjoyed.  What we have gained in lifestyle options and material goods we have lost in terms of time, flexibility, peace, and personal attention.

How difficult it is to fit in doctor's appointments, birthday parties and celebrations, shopping for food and clothes, keeping house and washing clothes, and cooking in the time that is left after a Mom gives her most energetic and creative eight hours (or more!) to her job or career.  When is there time or energy to do more than the basics for her children, much less have time for creative or inspiring activities?  Such satisfying homely pursuits as gardening, canning, baking, or sewing have been relegated to hobbies instead of meaningful home life, and for many women these pursuits fall into the category of things I'll do someday if I have the time" or "things I like to watch on Home and Garden TV when I collapse at the end of the day." 

It's so easy, in this era of divided hearts, for women's souls to become withered and dried up because we have so little time to read, to think, to enjoy the beauty of nature or the joy of relaxing with a friend or loved one.  We buy fast food or prepared food instead of cooking nutritious homemade meals.  Instead of creative, homemade gifts, we buy ready-made synthetic flower arrangements and cellophane-wrapped gift packs made in China.  Instead of playing pretend with our children or taking the time to blow bubbles, we park them in front of an impersonal box that baby-sits them for hours with no real love, touch, or morality, or truth to give.

Our children, meanwhile, miss out on the time and devoted attention from an adult who has made a commitment to be there for them.  Discovering interesting books, beautiful music, captivating art, and fun, playful moments within an intimate loving relationship nurtures the souls of children.  What happens too often instead in this era of divided hearts is that little ones must seek to find their own footing and search for love and inspiration from impersonal institutions where children are over-stimulated, under-rested, and have little opportunity for individual attention.

"...My point is that a divided mind that comes from a lack of wholehearted commitment to the home, as well as the simple time pressure that comes from supporting a dual career of home and family, tends to rob mother and children alike of the freedom they need to grow and thrive. 

Instead of being rocked and nursed and sung to by a mother who has time to stay until all childish fears are at rest, they tend to be rocked and nursed and put to bed by a loving mother who is desperate for them to go to sleep so she can sleep too.  Instead of being allowed to play imaginatively for hours in their own yard with their own swing or homemade tent, they may have an hour or so of play between the end of after-school care and the onset of darkness.  Reading from Mom's favorite books or being served Mom's best chocolate-chip cookies are rare treats instead of daily staples.  Time to explore and discover in the rich environment of a well-planned and artfully designed home is no longer a possibility for children who are awakened early to be rushed off to day care or school before Mom's workday begins. 

...."If a woman chooses to stay at home with her children, she has the opportunity of nursing her baby in the peacefulness of her own home, caressing her precious little one, singing sweet lullabies to comfort and please the child's deepest emotional desires.  She can offer them the restfulness of long, quiet naps in their own bedrooms.  She has time to enrich the home environment with beautiful sights and smells - from the aromas of homemade soup bubbling on the stove to the beautiful pictures in books - and arrange outings that foster budding intellects and awaken curiosity.  And she has the flexibility to change her schedule to respond to teachable moments - those times when children's natural curiosity leads them to question and learn.

Best of all, when a mother chooses to stay home, she has the time and opportunity to craft the kind of relationship with her young children that only extended time together can foster.  And from such a relationship she has a much better chance of building a strong moral and spiritual foundation in the heart of her young child, teaching a system of truth and values without the constant challenge of authorities and peers whose lives are totally different.  When these advantages are taken away from a child, how can we not count them as a loss to a whole generation of children who are hungry for direction, love, stability, and individual attention? 

This is not to say that the life of a woman who makes the choice for wholehearted, full-time motherhood will always be peaceful and relaxing.  Anyone who has ever lived with a toddler -or a teenager - knows better than that.  Even under the best of circumstances - and even with the extra time and flexibility that traditional motherhood does provide - parenting can be a challenge as well as a blessing.  But this is precisely my point, which is that being a mother is a full-time job - demanding as well as deeply fulfilling.  It is a responsibility that rightly commands our primary attention and calls for an intentional commitment.  We owe our children - and ourselves - our full hearts, not whatever is left after a busy day at the office."

Excerpt taken from pages 48  and 49

Excerpt taken from the book:

The Mission of Motherhood

Subtitled: Touching Your Child's Heart for Eternity

By Sally Clarkson

"As I have thought about these issues for many years, I have come to picture the heart of each child as a treasure chest.  Each chest is empty and needs to be filled with the riches of unconditional love, spiritual nurture, and the emotional heritage of family and traditions; with mental stimulation that comes from excellent sources of truth, morality, and inspiration; with a sense of physical and emotional security; and with guidelines for all of life, including purpose, relationships, and proper behavior.

Each child whose treasure chest is full will have abundant resources on which to draw in the midst of life's demands.  As a woman now pushing fifty, I realize that those foundational years in the life of a child -- those same years when I sometimes thought I was accomplishing nothing - have a lasting effect on almost every aspect of the rest of that child's life."

Excerpt taken from Pg. 14

Tuesday I spent all day organizing kitchen cabinets,  browning ground turkey meat for tacos. keeping a sink full of soapy water, and washing big pots and pans,    Rachel and Amanda had worked alongside me in the afternoon baking cakes and cupcakes.   When dinner time came, it was a nice time.  We all sat down for tacos and chicken quaisadea's.  The girls desserts were awesome - they had used fresh strawberries from our very own strawberry patch in our yard and added them to the cake batter. They put both strawberries and blueberries in the filling and on top.  It wasn't only delicious, it was pretty to look at!

On Wednesday morning, I went back to puttering in the kitchen. I made 2 large meatloaves and 4 individual sized ones.  I had dethawed the meat yesterday but didn't get to it, so today I tried to finish this.  I chopped onion, green pepper (that I keep in my freezer from my garden), and garlic, then baked until done.  When it was almost finished I took one of my mom's homemade marina sauce in mason jars from my pantry and added a few ingredients (tabasco sauce, worcestershire sauce, apple cider vinegar, and mustard).  I baked them a little bit longer to cook the sauce on top.  After they cooled for a while, I put them in the freezer for a future time that I won't have the time or desire to cook. I love doing this.

I have had such a busy summer.  It seems as if I've run somewhere almost every day.  These past few days have felt so relaxing,  doing mundane things like organizing kitchen cabinets, washing dishes, and cooking.  

Just before the summer began, I read a book called, Saying Goodbye to Whining, Complaining, and Bad Attitudes...in you and your kids!  by Scott Turansky and Joanne Miller. 

(Read archive blog: http://www.homeschoolblogger.com/Haflingerhorses/141672/ 

  This book made an impact on me that I needed to become more involved in my children's daily training.   These past few days I have taken the time to retrain several of my children in the art of unloading the dishwasher.  It had become a very sloppy event, and my cabinets had reached their chaotic limit.  It seemed redundent to unload the dishwasher myself, with a helper beside me, talking to him/her as I unloaded the dishes.  "The plastic cups get set nicely on this side of the cabinet", as opposed to throwing them in any which way they fall.  "We set the glass pyrex dishes in here with the matching lid, and set them onto other like sized dishes."  The kids have done this job a thousand times, it seemed silly to have mom walk them through this step by step as if they'd never done this before.  But obviously, we needed to do this, remind them gently that the way we have been going about this job is not right, we need to concentrate and be more careful about this. 

.

If there is one way that would describe my past history, it would be the word, "hurry".  There is a motor inside of me that runs on fast speed and rarely slows down until my head hits the pillow.  I have always kept lists of things to get done and goals to be accomplished.  There is only so many hours in a day to try to get it all done, so hurrying it all along is the only solution.  Children's squabbles, they need to be settled by the children themselves, I didn't have time to slow down for that. It wasn't on the list of things to get done.  But after reading the book,  Saying Goodbye to Whining, Complaining, and Bad Attitudes...in you and your kids!,   I realized what a great mistake I was making.  I had heard all of my children complaining at one time or another that they try to talk to me about their grievances with each other, but since I didn't take the time to help them, they would just become frustrated with each other and with the situation. For example, a little sister that would repeatedly go into her older sister's things, it just created tension between the two of them.  Or a brother that would lose his temper every time there was a disagreement.  I could go on and on here with examples, like a sister that teases when mom's not looking, then turns and looks perfectly innocent when brother retailiates and gives her a punch.   After reading this book, though, I made the decision that I would stop all of my hurrying to accomplish to-do lists and goals, slow down, and place my children's training on the top of the totem pole of importance.

.

Here are some quotes from the book, Saying Goodbye to Whining, Complaining, and Bad Attitudes...in you and your kids!  by Scott Turansky and Joanne Miller, that helped me see the importance of slowing down and taking the time to train my children.  It's not just about class time, it's about the little things that happen all day long. It's not just all about "school time", 8:00 a.m. to 3:00 p.m., September to May, but rather, it's the little things that happen all day long, all year long, that is the real classroom.  

Pg. 74

Your responses, attitudes, and actions contribute to their patterns of behavior - or at least your lack of response to a particular problem has allowed it to grow into a habit.

pg 98

Bringing problems to parents is important, and children should be encouraged to get help when they need it.  Parents, however, can use those problems to demonstrate honor to their children and to teach them along the way.  Daily problem solving provides tremendous opportunities to teach children honor in life.

pg 116  This book was worth buying just for the following paragraphs alone:

Conflict with brothers and sisters is a child's first class in relationships. Your home is the classroom, you are the teacher, and honor is the curriculum. each conflict situation becomes an opportunity for teaching children how to get along.

God created the family as a place to learn and grow.  Within the family, children can learn to treat others with kindness and to respond in a healthy way to unfairness or perceived injustice.  They can learn to tolerate irritations, manage their anger, and work closely with people who are different.  Addressing sibling conflict isn't easty, but the work you do now will not only make family life more peaceful, it will help your children develop adult skills that will assist them for the rest of their lives.

There are three roadblocks that hinder children from honoring each other:  anger, selfishness, and foolishness.  These roadblocks and their corresponding solutions provide the curriculum for "relationship school."

pg. 119,120

In order for children to overcome the roadblock of anger, they need a vision for being a peacemaker, rather than a problem maker.

pg 121

Tattling is one way that children point out problems rather than trying to make things better.  It's important to teach children what offenses they should report to a parent and what they should try to resolve themselves or just ignore. 

Sometimes a child should overlook an irritation and not be so easily provoked.  Handling conflict Biblically: Matt 18:15-16. If a problem cannot be resolved between two people, then one of them should involve another person in the process.

pg. 122

Children and adults have different tolerance levels.  The good news is that tolerance levels aren't permanently set.  Honor helps children learn to value the person above the irritation. 

 Seasons: God's Time Design (Organize Your Plan)

by Marilyn Howshall

Here are the quotes I noted, underlined, and tagged from this particular book.

"New wine will never remain in an old wineskin without something becoming damaged in the process.  Instead of expanding to accommodate the new wine, the old, dry wineskin bursts at the cracks because the new wine is too alive, too big to be contained.  It needs more room to breath, move, and live.  It needs more freedom!  pg. 9

The same is true with the old educational systems and new ideals.  Like the old wineskin, the old system is not meant to contain the new ideals and goals.  A new wineskin must be designed to hold the "new wine" of delight-directed study, well-developed learning skills as well as a true love of learning and discipleship education.  Trying to force these new concepts into an old exiswting structure, where the student is kept in a passive role, will simply cause both the new and the old to fail."

 (Eccl. 3:1-8)

"There is a time to tear down corrupt foundations in our home and a time to build up a godly foundation.  A time to stay home to build and a time to go out to share.  A time to prepare for learning and a time to learn, A time to become discipled and a time to share Christ with others.  A time to explroe and a time to study, A time to acquire skills and a time to acquire knowledge..."pg. 10

"So often our homeschool efforts are characterized by unrealistic expectations that produce confusion, difficulties, struggles, and striving to make something happen.  The things we commit to, inside our homes as well as outside, often will bring nothing more than turmoil inour personal lives, leaving our homes empty of peace, unity, and harmony."

"Easy and light and still produce fruit? Yes! god's ways are not our ways (Isaiah 55:9) and His ways yield efficiency.  Season as a verb shows us that God's way would render the educational plan less rigorous and severe; more palatable, agreeable, pleasant and delightful.  To season our children's learning process would mean to mature and prepare them in a few things by habit for a period of time.pg 11

A seasonal mindset will release us from trying to "do it all." This freedom will then allow us to focus more simply and appropriately on one or two specific needs that the child has. 

Fighting against the ebb and flow of life's circumstances to meet the demands of a rigid system will create serious problems within the home and undermine family relationships as well.  God's grace is powerful enough to allow for real life! Nothing will be added through our striving for He is the only one who can redeem the time and produce fruit."

"The ultimate goal for a serious Christian is to become discipled to Jesus Christ and to know Him intimately as well as to know for himself God's individual and specific life-purpose for him.

...intellectual development alone will place a ceiling over the studen'ts life and will never result in developing his spiritual mind...

...Whereas spiritual development will automatically result in the development of the intellect as well, to the degree the student obeys God and studies the Scriptures." pg 13

"An education only rich in biblical knowledge will not insure a godly, biblical education.

Academic biblical studies, with a focus on acquiring knowledge, will bring a limited and even shalllow understanding of spiritual concepts.

The primary educational emphasis for our children should be spiritual growth and grace-based discipleship to Jesus.

The intellectual growth that takes place through the focus on spiritual development is acquired in far less time and with much less effort than that acquired from an intellectual pursuit alone.  In addition, there is no need to apply direct effort to every area of educational need as we are led to believe we must - a burdensome mindset that enslaves us to "cover all the bases."  Rather, God's way will focus on a few select but powerful disciplines for a significant season.  The effect will be all-encompassing, meeting many areas of need with a measured amount of effort on our parts, yet with wonderful resuplts. 

Matt:11:28-30

"Come to Me all you who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest.  Take My yoke upon you and learn from Me, for I am gentle and lowly in heart, and you will find rest for your souls.  For My yoke is easy and My burden is light."pg 14

"The intent of the Bibilical Lifestyle of Learning framework is to help parents establish specific goals and provide the needed structure to move toward those goals.  Within a new framework of four seasons, rather than twelve goals, there is freedom to operate in simplicity by "shedding the load" of superfluous subject matter.  It is absolutely essential to acquire a "seasonal" mindset that will free us to de-school our lives, while at the same time give us the needed frame of reference in which to work. 

Once we are free to view all of life as potential and valid learning opportunitties then the activities of real, everyday living take on new meaning and increased purpose.  In the home it is more expedient and efficient to prepare our children for the learning process rather than force-feeding them a dry, burdenswome package of knowledge.pg 15

Biblical Lifestyle of Learning Framework

Preparing

(up to 9 years)

Reading and Handwriting

Collecting

(8-12 years)

Composition & Grammar

Thinking

(11-16 years)

Logic and Reason

Communicating

(15 years & up)

Speaking & Writing

"The new framework does not limit the educational process to academics alone, but reflects a proper perspective that academics are only a part of the greater whole.

The new framework allows for the many informal ways education must occur for the child's inherent gifts and interests to be recognized and developed.

The new framework allows for both formal and informal application of the learning tools and helps us to view the three categories of language not so much as subjects to be taught as they are activities for the student to engage in.

The new framework allows for the freedom of grace-based discipleship which provides a superior opportunity to train children in godly character and emphasizes an all-encompassing life-purpose that develops into a life-message, through a lifestyle of self-discipled education.  pg 17

Dorothy Sayers stated in her essay "The Lost Tools of Learning" that students who are allowed to grow, develop, and learn naturally, according to God's time-design for them, would appear to be behind their peers for a few years, but that after reaching puberty they would begin to gain momentum while all around them their peers would be either burning out from too much education too soon, or simply becoming passive learners.

A burden that even the busiest mom can bear is limiting formal instruction to one language learning tool for a significant season.

...there are a limited number of hours in a day, and if children are weary of generic assignments that are externally imposed upon them, they will likely not choose to do self-initiated real ones.  If mom is reasonable in her expectations, the children will begin to acquire an appreciation for the one specific discipline that mom leads them to focus on for a season.  pg 19

"Collecting knowledge is the same as sowing seeds of knowledge or skills. When a student collects knowledge, by whatever means, knowledge or skill-seeds are being planted in his mind.  The process of growth cannot begin until the seed dies.  Then the unformed seed begins to germintate.    This season appears dormant as though nothing is happening.  pg. 21

...He will direct us when to water seeds and how long to continue watering before planting new seeds."pg 22

Why I like this book:

Prayer is a central focus in my life.  I have found that the more I pray, the more I believe in the power of prayer.  I like reading books on prayer because it reinforces what I already know, because it articulates things that the Spirit has been teaching me, and because I often learn something new about prayer. 

"... the more time we spend alone with God, the more powerful our prayers will be when we pray with others.  "pg. 43

When we first began to plan for children, this is when I began a consistent prayer and Bible reading time.  Bringing children into this world and then raising them was a scary proposition to me.  I knew deep within my heart that I was going to need all the wisdom of God that I could possible get. I knew I was going to need His help. 

I got saved when I was 14 years old.  I was a preacher's kid and a pretty rebellious one at that.  In fact, I was so much of a handful, my parents didn't really know what to do with me.  At that time, way back then, homeschooling hadn't even been thought of, or at least to my knowledge it wasn't.  Christian schools were just becoming popular, and there were none in my area.  So my parents found a school about 80 miles away from our home that was a Christian school and also took boarders on their campus.  The idea of living away from home, being independent, and being surrounded by lots of other kids, was appealing to me. 

This school was very religious and strict.  I found after arriving there, that there were other kids there for the same reason I was:  Because the parents didn't know what to do with them and was hoping the school would straighten them out.  Although the school also had a lot of good kids attending, I sought out the kind like me and quickly found myself with opportunities of trouble abounding. 

I had an early 'conversion experience' when I was very young. All I remembered is that once in my father's church, there had been an altar call, I came forward, some woman took me into a private room and prayed with me.  However, as I grew up in this church and sunday school, I found myself becoming very resentful of what I felt, was the church's expectations of good behaviour from the preacher's kid.  I'm not quite sure why I felt so compelled, but I began to make sure that all the church members got the idea in their head that I would not be reaching anyone's expectations of their mind set of a good preacher's kid. 

I was pretty successful at this, to the point of finally arriving at this very strict and religious school, boarding there and going home on weekends.  The school had a required daily chapel attendance, and at one point there was assigned seating.  It was during this time of my freshman year that I was placed next to a Senior girl.

I had been at the school for at least 5 months, and had gotten so many demerits and been in the coach's office (back then spanking with a big paddle was legal) so often, that I had clearly established my reputation in the school as an official rebel.  I came close, to many times to count, of being kicked out.  But all of this changed course, one fateful day, during a chapel session.  No, it wasn't some special preacher or sermon that changed my life.  In fact, it wasn't anything anyone said.  But rather, it was the demeanor, the look, the expression of faith, on the face of the senior girl standing next to me while we were singing a hymn.  While this hymn was being sung by the school, I just happened to look at this girl's face, and what I saw made an incredible impression on me.  She looked as if when she was singing, that the words coming out of her mouth were springing from her heart.  There was a expression on her face and a sincerity in her eyes, that I perceived that this girl was singing something that was true in her life.  By this one look, I clearly identified to myself, that what this girl had, I didn't.  Although I had an earlier conversion experience as a young girl, and I considered myself "saved" as well as having been baptized, I knew that whatever this girl had, I did not. 

I went to my dormitory during lunch, right after the chapel class, and kneeled down by my bunk bed. Alone and praying to Him, I told Him that I thought that I had been saved a long time ago, but now I wasn't so sure.  I asked Him then, that if He wasn't in my heart, then please come in now. I wept as I prayed and asked forgiveness for my sins.

It was after that prayer, that I found myself reading the Bible with a thirst for knowing Him.  When I would go home on weekends to be with my family and attend my father's church, I had quite a few people stop me in the hallways to comment that I had changed.  They weren't sure what it was, they just knew there was a difference.  I began to ponder those comments and concluded that perhaps I had never been saved before, and that when I prayed that prayer to God, He had begun a new work in me.

Reading the Bible became a focus in my life, but around my junior year of highschool, I began dating a fellow and Bible reading fanned in it's importance.  My senior year rolled around, and now I was dating a guy that would become my husband, and again, Bible reading became non-existent.  I married a few months after highschool graduation.  It wasn't until my husband and I started talking about having children that I began to think of spiritual things again.  I began to read the Bible and have a daily prayer time with Him.

That renewed commitment to Him has gone forward until the present, as my husband and I celebrate our 30th year of marriage this September 10, 1976. 

Each year, prayer seems to become more and more special to me.  He is my Saviour, my Lord, my Father, but also my Friend.  I love books on prayer because they encourage my faith and my prayer time. 

pg. 44

"Praying with other people without spending time alone with God will compromise the effectiveness and power of your prayers."

pg 46

"People need to understand why God doesn't just do everything on His own initiative...It goes back to God giving the responsibility for governing earth's affairs to humankind (Gen1:26,.28).  He ordained that everything on earth would be determined by human choice.  'The heaven, even the heavens, are the Lord's; but the earth He has given to the children of men' (Psalm 115:16).

But it only works when man keeps in relationship with God.  The will of God and the works and power of God do not simply flow without an invitation into earth's sense. 

pg. 51

Prayer works because of what Jesus did.

God created the earth, and then He created man to rule over it.  Man lost his rule of the earth because of disobedience to God's laws.  Satan gained control, and his goal is to destroy God's purpose for every person.  God sent His Son, Jesus, to die for our sins and break the power of the enemy.  In other words, Jesus took the penalty for man's disobedience, which is death, so those who believe in Him can live fruitfully on earth and spend eternity with God.

When Jesus rose from the dead, He commissioned everyone who believes in Him to destroy the rulership of the enemy and restore rulership to man.  This is done through prayer.

When we pray we are applying Jesus' victory through the cross, taking the rule away from Satan and establishing the rule of God.  In that way we stop the devil's work and establish the Lord's will.  We take things that are wrong and make them right. 

pg 54

Because our culture idolizes the intellect, we don't often give value to prayer.  We give greater value to reading and knowing the Bible intellectually.  We would rather study the Bible because we can verify that we have covered a certain amount of ground. We can see what we have accomplished.  But when we pray, we can't always see results right away.  It's not a matter of disqualifying the importance of the intellect or our Bible study,  it's a matter of our giving more time and value to prayer than we do. 

pg 57

"If you feel powerless, praise God for who He is.  It's not that you will suddenly feel as though you are powerful, but you will immediately be aware that you have access to a source of power that is second to none.  "If anyone is a worshiper of God and does His will, He hears him"  (John 9:31)

pg 80

The author had some one pray for healing and then told her...

"The devil is going to tell you you're not healed...but don't listen to that.  Just keep thanking God that He is your Healer and that He has healed you.  It's going to feel like you are getting worse, but don't give into those symptons.  Continue to praise God and speak God's promises of healing from His Word instead." 

pg 89

Some people say that you should never speak things that are negative.  This is the way my occult practices were.  That kind of thinking brought me to the brink of suicide, because I could never face the truth.  I couldn't share what was really happening with anyone and ask for help.  I found after I came to the Lord that there were even Christians who believe that too.  They say that you should never confess negative things.  If that's true, then how do you ever ask for help?  I'm not talking about complaining and always speaking negatively about something.  I'm talking about sharing your pain and need honestly with people so that they know how to pray for you.  I'm talking about walking in the light of the Lord together with other believers so you can be cleansed from all the effects of sin in your life - yours and that of the world around you (I John 1:7)

There are some people who would find fault with Paul.  They say he should only have said it just one time and then praised God and confessed the victory. 

pg101

...you can't find the full extent of your true destiny and purpose apart from other believers who stand with you in prayer.

pg 125

The power of the church today is still prayer.  And we, the  body of Christ, can also be shaken by the manifest power of God.  We can see things shaken up in the world around us if we are willing to pray as fervently and as unceasingly as the early church did, mirroring also their faith and unity.

...people must come to a conviction about the invisible life.  They need to be unified in believing that the invisible realm is real, and that they have been given a place of privileged authority and access in it.  Most people know they should pray, but many don't believe it's going to make any difference.  If they recognize there is a very real penetration in the invisible realm, it emboldens them and they can believe with greater faith, Jesus came to change things, to save people, to heal the sick, to transform families and circumstances, and to impact nations with a moral turnaround in the souls of people. And the power of a praying church is the key to that."

pg 126

The Word of God does not command us to thank God for every pain, evil, tragedy, or trouble...it does not say for everything give thanks, but in everything give thanks.  Whatever the situation, irrespective of how bleak, we are to praise God that He is greater than our circumstances and that His love guarantees our triumph over or through them. 

pg 128

"I'm not interested in building a big church, I'm interested in building big people,"  Pastor Jack told us time and again throughout the years.  I was one of his sheep.  He never thought about how to grow a congregation of many because he was too busy trying to grow us up as individuals to be all God created us to be.  We were constantly being stretched spiritually and personally, and for us it became a way of life.  In spite of that, church attendance always grew way beyond what we had room for.  Even the addition of multiple services and the acquisition of more properties never seemed to keep up with it.

During this time, I learned that the church is not just a building.  The church is people.  You and I and millions of others who believe in Jesus make up the church.  The church building is a place where believers can gather to be nurtured, grown, and prepared to go out and do God's work. 

The church is not built by skilled leadership.  The church is built by Jesus... But leaders are there to cultivate understanding in the people.  What characterizes much of the church in the world is that people think of pastors or clergy as hired professionals who will be godly in their behalf.  They look to their leaders to do church, and they go to church so church can happen to them.  In doing that, people don't think of themselves as instruments for penetrating the world with the life of Jesus.  But the church is not an organization, it is an organism.  And God's plan is that the leaders nurture in people a dimension of who they were created to be".

pg 130

"People who pray and understand who they have been made to be in Christ set the direction of history of their world - be local, regional, national, or international.  Most of the believing church today thinks of faith in Jesus Christ as an escape.  But God says He wants us to be instruments of redemption and intercessory prayer, and ministry will flow out of theat.

..it is impossible to grow and develop to your fullest potential independently of other believers.  We have a mutual dependence upon one another becasue we are defined and refined wtihin the context of a local body of believers. 

pg 130

There are many people who would like to have a privatized walk with God...the intimacy of our private walk with the Lord is a very wonderful part of our life, but if that's all you have, you do not have a developing Christian life.  Too easily, it can wither.
We will focus on ourselves.  Sadly, there are people who live that way and consider it spiritual, withdrawing into their own world.  This is somewhat the same as the escapist lifestyle that characterized the spiritual pursuit of many leaders that eventuated into the Dark Ages.  The culture became spiritually dark because people forgot how the Light spreads.  That lifestyle was called monasticism- people seeking private illumination from God but failing to be united with other believers to become mutually warmed and ignited. 

Building a people to do God's work happens in the local church when we are connected to and grow with the rest of the congregation.  It is within that context that we find who we are created to be and what we are created to do. 

One of the most important things about being in a spiritual family is finding power in prayer through unity.  When a husband and wife are in unity, their marriage is strong.  And when children are in unity with their parents and with each other, the family stays strong.  It's the same with spiritual family.  When the leaders are in unity, and the believers are in unity with them and with each other, there is a dynamic that adds power to their prayers and the confidence that God will answer in power.

pg 135

Breaking Down Denominational Walls

How do you compare apples, oranges, pears, blueberries, cherries, papayas, and bananas?  Each one has its own great, distinct flavor. But they are all fruit.  And when combined, they make a great fruit salad. That's the way it shold be with denominations.  The purpose of denominations should be to organize believers into distinct families, not to erect walls that separate the body of Christ. 

..We must pray that this mindset of denominational separatism, which puts up walls between people when the body of Christ chould be coming together, will be replaced by an appreciation of our differences.

pg 139

"We need to focus on what we agree on instead of fighting over issues where we don't see eye to eye.  We have to be more concerned with brining unbelievers to the Lord than we are with proving to other believers we are more right - or more righteous- than they are. 

The enemy's goal to create division whenever and wherever he can becasue he doesn't want us coming together.  When two of even the weakest saints are in agreement, he cannot withstand it.  And when the whole church prays together, his defeat is devastating.

The beauty of a rainbow is when all the colors are seen together. People are beginning to recognize that.  Jesus is bringing His church together magnificently, and this is happening with the breaking down of denominational walls. 

pg 147

The hosts of heaven outnumber the hosts of hell 2 to 1  (Rev. 12:4);

pg 159

An intercessor is someone who steps into the gap between God's righteousness and man's failure, and through prayer, brings the merits of the cross to bear upon people and situations. 

pg 160

Ezekiel 22:30

"I sought for a man among them who would make a wall, and stand in the gap before Me on behalf of the land, that I should not destroy it; but I found no one"

Isn't it amazing that God could not find even one person to pray on behalf of their country?  And so He had to judge the land because of all the evil that went on in it.  Ez22:31  "Therefore I have poured out My indignation on them;  I have consumed them wtih the fire of My wrath; and I have recompenses their deeds on their own heads"  God is saying that htis destruction could have been avoided if He would have found just one intercessor. 

pg161

Bad things don't come from God.  They happen because we have sown bad seeds or as a result of the enemy's work.  Either way, God gives us the opportunity to avert both of those things by standing in the gap through prayer. 

pg 166

"One of the hindrances to intercessory prayer is ignorance of the church's collective mission, which is the call to prayer,... there is woven into the fabric of man the supposition that the die is already cast, that there's some cosmic arrangement of things, and the best you can do is try and cope with it the way it's going to be.  But Jesus taught exactly the opposite.  There is nothing whatsoever anywhere in the Bible that suggests that man is the victim of an irretrievable circumstance.  The whole concept of redemption argues against that.  Christ's coming and reversing the power of death- transforming the future by His resurrection - is in itself a statement that nothing is irredeemable.   But His action is also a statement that says though things may be redeemed, they are not redeemed without someone stepping in.  Just as his 'stepping in' is described as an intercessor's action (Isaia 53:12) on the grounds of what He achieved through His death and resurrection, we are called to 'step in' to see the power of his triumph applied today.

pg 107

"Jesus said,' Here are the keys to the kingdom. You have the privilege of moving in partnershp with the Father's kingdom, and whatever you bind on earth is bound in heaven, and whatever you loose on earth is loosed in heaven.  Matt. 16:19  'Binding' is when we take action to invoke His rule by revoking the sin or evil workings of flesh or devils.  'Loosing' is when we take action by welcoming His power to release the flow of His mercies and grace into the midle of earth's pain and problems.  ....the power is His, but the privilege of tapping into it is ours.  It's His plan; Without His sovereign power, we can do nothing without our obedient partnership.  He will do nothing. 

It's like having plenty of money in the bank to cover your bill, but if you never write a check or draw on it when the bill comes clue, it doesn't get paid.  The authority we have to draw on God's power is ours becasue of what Jesus did on the cross.  We tap into His sovereign power in prayer.  We don't determine what will be done, because we say, "Your will be done in all things."  Yet if we don't hear God's call to prayer and answer it, we miss out on the blessings God has for us. 

Ancient Israel Reading List

Our homeschool is studying Ancient Israel through the summer. We are working through the Heart of Wisdom Curriculum.  I ordered the following books to read and study:

God's Lamp: Man's Light (Mysteries of the Menorah)  by John D. Garr

I have started this one already and am half way through it.  I have learned so much!

Living Emblems (Ancient Symbols of Faith), by John D. Garr

The Hem of His Garment (Touching the Power in God's Word), by John D. Garr

Restoring Our Lost Legacy (Christianity's Hebrew Heritage), by John D. Garr

The Ancient Hebrew Language and Alphabet, (Understanding the Ancient Hebrew Language of the Bible Based on the Ancient Hebrew Culture and Thought)  by Jeff A. Banner

Learn to Read Biblical Hebrew, by Jeff A. Benner

Seeing Christ in the Tabernacle (Jesus Lives! He's Typified in Every Piece)

by Ervin N. Hershberger

The Tabernacle the Priesthood And the Offerings, by Henry W. Soltau

I had read Robin Sampsons book several years ago, and at that time I had ordered the following books (and have read):

Yeshua (A Guide to the Real Jesus and the Original Church), by Ron Moseley

Restoring the Jewishness of the Gospel (A Message for Christians),

by David H. Stern

Jesus the Jewish Theologian, By Brad H. Young

The Hebrew Alphabet (A Mystical Journey), by Edward Hoffman

Our Father Abraham (Jewish Roots of the Christian Faith), by Marvin R. Wilson

The Seven Festivals of the Messiah, By Edward Chumney

Jesus in the Feasts of Israel (Restoring the Spiritual Realities of the Feasts of the Church) by Richard Booker

Celebrate the Feasts  (Of the Old Testament In Your Own Home or Church), by Martha Zimmerman

The Rod of an Almond Tree in God's Master Plan, By Peter A. Michas

While going through my library, reviewing the books I had ordered years ago when first introduced to this subject by Robin Sampson in her book, I found that I had ordered some books that I had not yet read - which will add to my summer studies of the already mentioned books.  I know that I haven't read them yet because there are no yellow highlighters, dog-eared pages, or pencil mark notes and underlines.

These books to read also during the summer, are:

Paul the Jewish Theologian (A Pharisee among Christians, Jews, and Gentiles, by Brad H. Young

The Parables (Jewish Tradition and Christian Interpretation (by Brad H. Young)

Christianity is Jewish, by Edith Schaeffer