I am so full of joy as I contemplate yet another evidence of God's grace to our family.  Our beloved David asked the girl of his dreams, Casey, to marry him yesterday, and she said "yes!"  We are all SO glad!  Rejoice with those who rejoice, please.  God has been very, very good to us!

Here's the spot where details will be forthcoming, I'm sure:

David's Blog

It's a gray day, and my workload looks higher than the Grand Tetons from ground level.  It's all important and it's piled up to the heavens.  I've got miles to go before I sleep...

So, why am I blogging?  Because often, when I get really overwhelmed, I fiddle and diddle and piddle around, wasting precious minutes.  As if I had time to waste!?  I wonder what that tendency is?

I think part of it stems from self-reliance.  It's sort of my stress valve, like on a pressure cooker.  If I just relax for a few minutes and do something fun, I find I can return to the great and real business of working hard. 

Part of it is normal avoidance: who wants to do it? 

Part of it can work into self-pity: I have no time to myself.  I'm just going to TAKE time to blog.  I'll get to the work later, but now's my time for me, so there!    (This is not the case for me today, but it has been plenty of times.)

And, part of it, I'm sure, is that I really could use a nap or a vaction.    Homeschool moms (really, all moms!) work hard.  We often are simply at the limits of our human strength, and nothing looks easy when you're dog tired.

But, as I sat down to write all this, the Spirit tapped me on the shoulder gently.  I kind of think that prayer might be a better way of handling this same stress.  What would it look like to turn to the Lord and say, "Father, I am really tired and beaten down.  I'm about out of resources within myself.  The load is so heavy, Father, and I'd rather be playing.  Please help me!  Restore to me the joy of my ministry to my moms (or my family or my kids... you fill in the blank with the work He has given you to do).  Help me to rely on You, not on my own weak self.  Please help me to work now, steadily, and to Your glory.  Help me to remember, too, how I feel right now so that I can retain humility and compassion on my husband or kids when they're down and I'm up in the near future, and I want them to do my will.    Amen."

Over on my Tapestry forum, we've been having a discussion about the ins and outs of raising teens to the glory of God.  We've hit on several major topics that are near and dear to my heart, and I would love to get a broader range of opinions and comments about these topics using this blog.

Here are some threads in the conversation thus far:

• My dh and I have had an ongoing discussion about our two teenagers (15yod, 13yos) and their apparent lack of motivation to achieve excellence. You know--only doing the minimum. I want to encourage them to do their best BUT I am concerned (maybe overly) about being one of those pushy parents who drive their kids too hard. I certainly don't want my kids to feel that "nothing I do is good enough for you". Any advice?
• I really appreciate Marcia, what you said too - "work hard, go to Heaven tired" That's great advice for me too! I think at times I have communicated this to my kids, but with a lack of joy, which is so crucial. Could you elaborate on this part of your reply: "some of the problems I've noted in homeschooling teens seem to stem from parents who are timid about letting their teens go"? As in releasing them to fly or fall?
• What approach have you taken for your daughters during these years? What motivates you where your daughters are concerned?
• What are little girls made of? Love and joy; tenderness and dreams; fun and laughter. They have a sweetness that the boys cannot enjoy, in a way. We don't have to train them to go and do and be. Christian girls are free--in a way none others are that I know of--to pursue what Scott calls a "Millenium Education."

In the next few days, I want to see if we can have more conversations here about these threads.  If you want to catch up with what was said so far, read here.  For organization's sake, let's try to keep to one topic at a time.  I'm going to post the topic for THIS thread below, along with my starting reply.

First bullet above:

So, why did I say that homeschool moms are so prone to the disease of self-righteousness?  Well, it's because we feel so right so often!

• We compare ourselves with our neighbors
• We compare ourselves with other Christians
• Or with our children
• Or with our husbands

And, in our blindness, we come out lookin' pretty good!  Add to this that we are isolated from adults much of the time, and that our young children aren't really very discerning or articulate (so as to be able to show us our sin) and oops!  We fall so easily into self-righteousness.

Now, we can add to that thoughts like these:

• I work so hard
• No one even notices.  I am marginalized and get no respect.
• I get no bonuses, raises, and promtions: no benchmarks by which to measure success!
• My job is SO important and scary all at the same time
• And it's all on ME!!!

We need to talk truth to ourselves.  I can get into a pity-party so fast if I listen to myself talk this way!  I need to remind myself of a few important things:

1. All have sinned and fall short of the glory of God.
2. My log is bigger than their speck.
3. Homeschooling is God's idea, not mine. And how it all turns out is His responsibility, not mine.
4. He loves me and my kids far more than anyone else.  This is His best for us all. 
5. He's watching: will I choose to glorify Him today?
6. I am on earth to serve, and that joyfully.  It is my goal to "go Home tired!"
7. I don't deserve better: I deserve Hell. But, Jesus took that for me.
8. Yet, my rewards will be eternal, for He crowns me with compassion.

God is GOOD.  Truth is good!  I am so grateful that my self-righteous thoughts are not reality. How I love Isaiah 55:8-9 (ESV) 
    For my thoughts are not your thoughts,
        neither are your ways my ways, declares the Lord. 
    For as the heavens are higher than the earth,
        so are my ways higher than your ways
        and my thoughts than your thoughts.

Recently, I was running errands and flipped on talk radio.  The host was replaying recent comments by Rosie O'Donnell where she said that radical Islam was as dangerous, here in America, as is radical Christianity.  The host went on to ask the audience, "What is radical Christianity anyways?" 

"Wow," I thought. "I would love to tell him."  And here were the thoughts that flowed through my mind in quick succession:

First, my definition of radical Christianity is Jesus, hanging on a Cross.

In that I want to be like Him, I am a radical Christian; is that a threat greater to a fellow American than radical Islam?

O'Donnell's comments sparked immediate and strong applause, so there were those who agreed with her.  I think she speaks for a number of people.  She is very liberal politically, and (as I understood the talk show host to say) now publically claims to be gay as well.  As such, it is probably true that radical Christianity threatens her more than radical Islam (although that religion is no friend of gays either).  The witness of radical Christians may threaten her eternal soul, when all rise up in the judgment; this is something radical Islam can never do.

The thing that's interesting to me is that radical Christians (real ones) are not interested in forcing Old Testament practices on anyone.  Radical Christians are interested in becomming daily more conformed to that Savior, hanging on His cross.  We are working to serve, to bless, to extend mercy, to care for the elderly, to be good citizens, to love our husbands, and to raise little children to do all these things as well.  We are homeschooling, or working at jobs where we seek to extend the love and mission of Jesus Christ.  Radical Christians aren't perfect; just forgiven.

I hope I am a radical Christian; I work daily (and fail daily) at walking worthy of the gospel.  We radicals are a distinct minority: politically, the only ways we threaten those who oppose God are by refusing to agree that they are morally acceptable before a Holy God and voting for those who agree with us. 

Does O'Donnell know the tenets of Islam?  Radical Islam would force its precepts (which are far more stringent and anti-feminist) on the entire world by force.  This is explicit in the Koran. O'Donnell and friends are safe from Islam now because our President is working day and night to protect her, and because brave men and women are in harm's way so that she doesn't have to be. 

As I drove into my driveway, I concluded that, in a way, she's right.  In America, those who care about God's Word and attempt to live it out are her greatest threat--the aroma of death to those who are perishing.  I am sorry that she has chosen the lifestyle that she has.  It is pitable beyond words.  I am asking Father to show her her error and give her the gift of repentance.

I also thank Him that I am a radical Christian, called to be so by His choice and His amazing grace.  What a glorious calling we have!

I have been working hard at Lampstand Press lately, and my quiet times are a lovely oasis in an otherwise grueling schedule.  Since I'm writing a new speech for our upcoming seminars, I've also been in Romans, which is always a delight.  There, I found myself immersed in this passage:

Romans 9:22-24 (ESV) 

    What if God, desiring to show his wrath and to make known his power, has endured with much patience vessels of wrath prepared for destruction, in order to make known the riches of his glory for vessels of mercy, which he has prepared beforehand for glory—even us whom he has called, not from the Jews only but also from the Gentiles? 

What an amazing window into the true nature of the universe.  More than almost any other single thing, I am a vessel of mercy.  I am that, not because of anything I have done ever, but because God so decreed that I should be one.  He prepared me beforehand for glory.  It was by His mercy alone that I was not deemed to be a vessel of wrath.

This reminds me of another passage: 2 Cor. 4:7-12 (ESV) 
    But we have this treasure in jars of clay, to show that the surpassing power belongs to God and not to us.  We are afflicted in every way, but not crushed; perplexed, but not driven to despair; persecuted, but not forsaken; struck down, but not destroyed; always carrying in the body the death of Jesus, so that the life of Jesus may also be manifested in our bodies.  For we who live are always being given over to death for Jesus' sake, so that the life of Jesus also may be manifested in our mortal flesh.  So death is at work in us, but life in you.

We are vessels, which means we carry something.  We are not the "something" itself, and very few people are more interested in a vessel than in what it contains.  People may, from time to time, exclaim, "Oh, what a pretty table!"  But it’s the stuff in the vessels that’s really wanted, not the vessels themselves.  They always end up the same after fulfilling their roles: dirty dishes in the sink, and not so pretty any more!  With beautiful vessels and no good things to feast upon, people would starve.  People will gladly turn to completely plain vessels if there is life-giving nourishment within.

So, we who know the grace of Christ are vessels of  His mercy; we have a precious treasure that we carry in our jars of clay…  wow.  What we are carrying, containing, filled with, and seeking to pour out, is mercy.  It’s the mercy God has shown us, yes, but more importantly, it’s His mercy that He wants to show others.  Earlier in Romans, Paul says, “I am under obligation both to Greeks and to barbarians, both to the wise and to the foolish. So I am eager to preach the gospel to you also who are in Rome. Romans 1:14-15 (ESV).  His “obligation” is to give away what’s been entrusted to him.  We are vessels of mercy—God’s mercy, which is meant as soothing, healing balm on a battered and sin-sick world.  For a homeschooling mom, the most important people for me to show mercy to today are my family members: my husband and my children.

Lord, help me today to pour out Your mercy on others.  As I write, as I speak, as I listen, as I pray: Lord, let Your merciful grace be what pours forth from this unworthy, yet sanctified, vessel for Your pure and holy mercy. Let those I meet today be strengthened, encouraged, lifted up, and reminded that Your heart towards them is full of love, forgiveness in Jesus, and strengthening grace.  Amen.

Circumstances in my life lately have been difficult.  I've had a series of trials lately, and they're not over yet. But, really, they are just circumstances.  What is far more interesting than the details of what's going on (which I can't share) is how I'm reacting to them (which I can!).

I was meditating on feeling "crushed" by circumstances.  The Bible speaks of being crushed in several places, so I went looking this morning for Scriptures containing the word "crushed."  I was hoping for help with this feeling of being crushed, and I found some. :-)

Have you ever noticed that when things are crushed, they give off an aroma?  The essence of what a thing smells like is best discerned by crushing it.  Think of crushed coffee beans, or crushed violets, or the aroma of a trash compactor.  Smells are released when things are crushed.

It is a normal part of life to be crushed by life's circumstances, but what I've been thinking about is, "What aroma is emiting from me?"  I have smelled several different ones through the recent set of trials that the Lord is leading us through. 

In our first major trial of this series (and in many before, I am sad to relate) I have been a real stench to my husband, adding to his cares (which are inevitably more crushing than mine, since he bears the responsibility for leadership in difficult days) by complaining and hopeless words, and down-in-the-dumps expressions.  In these cases, I only added to his load.  When God proved Himself faithful, as He always does, I was ashamed and sorry for my stinky self and wished I had done better.

I have learned from experiencing God's certain and saving power that I can choose to be a fragrant aroma, like unto a crushed flower (or coffee bean?), one of hope, strength, and blessing.  I can choose to trust God, to speak words of faith and comfort to my family and friends, and encourage them as we go through the trial.

Life is full of trials.  It's the way we grow.  No matter what trial you're in, consider what aroma the crushing of your spirit is bringing forth, and how that affects your family.  Call upon the One Who was crushed for our iniquities and our transgression and ask Him to make you a pleasing aroma today!

Psalm 34:18-19 (ESV) 
    The Lord is near to the brokenhearted
        and saves the crushed in spirit. 
    Many are the afflictions of the righteous,
        but the Lord delivers him out of them all.

Proverbs 17:22 (ESV) 
    A joyful heart is good medicine,
        but a crushed spirit dries up the bones.

Isaiah 53:5 (ESV) 
    But he was wounded for our transgressions;
        he was crushed for our iniquities;
    upon him was the chastisement that brought us peace,
        and with his stripes we are healed.

2 Cor. 4:7-12 (ESV) 
    But we have this treasure in jars of clay, to show that the surpassing power belongs to God and not to us.  We are afflicted in every way, but not crushed; perplexed, but not driven to despair; persecuted, but not forsaken; struck down, but not destroyed;  always carrying in the body the death of Jesus, so that the life of Jesus may also be manifested in our bodies. For we who live are always being given over to death for Jesus' sake, so that the life of Jesus also may be manifested in our mortal flesh.  So death is at work in us, but life in you.

2 Cor. 2:14-16 (ESV) 
    But thanks be to God, who in Christ always leads us in triumphal procession, and through us spreads the fragrance of the knowledge of him everywhere.  For we are the aroma of Christ to God among those who are being saved and among those who are perishing, to one a fragrance from death to death, to the other a fragrance from life to life. Who is sufficient for these things? 

Because He was crushed for me, I can ask that He make me a pleasing aroma today to my husband and family: encouraging, strengthening, and blessing them.  Lord, make it so, I pray!  Amen.

Acts 19:18-20 (ESV) 
    Also many of those who were now believers came, confessing and divulging their practices.  And a number of those who had practiced magic arts brought their books together and burned them in the sight of all. And they counted the value of them and found it came to fifty thousand pieces of silver.  So the word of the Lord continued to increase and prevail mightily.

I was struck, as I read this in my quiet time today, at the amazing witness it is when believers, led by the spirit, do things that the world finds impossible to comprehend; things that no human being would naturally do. 

What is it, for instance, that leads a woman to turn from self-serving (or even god centered) pursuits to give her body and life first to a man, and then to the bearing and raising of children?   Why do women endure the discomforts of pregnancy, the sleepless nights, the long days, and the endless chores associated with raising children and keeping a house well? Why do they add to these efforts the academic training of their children?  What could cause them to undertake such a huge and heroic task? 

How can such women possibly maintain such a counter-intuitive, counter-self, counter-cultural course in life, hour after hour, day after day, and year after year?  They receive no visible rewards: they spend the best years of their lives, they remain on a single income, and the outcome of all their efforts is uncertain.  They do not hope to become rich, famous, or at ease: they hope to see their husband become all that God created him to be, and hear that their children walking in the truth.  But... but... it doesn't make any sense!

There is only one answer.  The Spirit of the Living God empowers us.  Beloved, the joy of the Lord is our strength.  We are called to this labor, and we are not alone.  He is working for our good and His glory!  And the world is watching... and wondering!

1 Thes. 5:23-24 (ESV) 
    Now may the God of peace himself sanctify you completely, and may your whole spirit and soul and body be kept blameless at the coming of our Lord Jesus Christ.  He who calls you is faithful; he will surely do it.

Lament. 3:22-23 (ESV) 
    The steadfast love of the Lord never ceases;
        his mercies never come to an end; 
    they are new every morning;
        great is your faithfulness.

This was the text for the sermon at my son's wedding this past Saturday.  For all of you surrounded by diapers, dishes, and lesson planning books, please view this slideshow and be encouraged!  It is of my 24-year-old son, Michael, marrying his true love, Jessica.  Truly, dear friend, there is a reward for careful, consistent parenting in the fear of God.  It is to have days like the one we had: pure joy with no sorrow added.  We always told our boys, "You have to be princes to marry a princess.  By God's grace, both these young people were truly royal in the grace and joy they reflected from the King of Kings.

We thank God, family members who traveled to make our joy complete, and all of our wonderful church community for giving us a day we will never forget, and always remember as a highlight of our lives.

Proverbs 10:22 (ESV) 
    The blessing of the Lord makes rich,
        and he adds no sorrow with it.

P.S.  About the boxer shorts….  See, it’s this way.  Early in their courtship, Jessica declared her hatred of all Hawaiian prints, especially one brown shirt that Mike wore frequently.  Not to be bossed, he wore it anyways.  She retaliated by sneaking into his place one day, grabbing said shirt, and giving it to Charity.  Charity cut it up and made it into a fine pillow, which was presented as a present to Mike at a party.  Mike has had the final word so far: Mike bought 11 pairs of Hawaiian-print boxers, and he and all his groomsmen wore them during the wedding.

What a busy month this has been!  We finished up our conference season with two big conferences--HEAV (Virginia) and CHEC (Colorado), and then this week we have been delightfully consumed in wedding preparations!  Our second son, Mike, will (God willing) marry his beloved Jessica tomorrow!  If you have a moment, please pray for the joyous details of the final hours and safe travel of guests as these two godly, pure young people are united in Christ for life.  We are also praying that their wedding will be a powerful witness to unsaved family members on both sides.  THANKS for caring for our family in this way; you are so kind when you join us in prayer!

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Today, in my quiet time, I was reading the story of Naaman, in 2 Kings 5.  As you remember, Naaman was a bigwig from Syria--a commander of the king's army--but he is also a leper, and hearing from his Israeli slave girl that he could be healed by the prophet in Israel, he comes in all his worldly pomp with letters from his king to be healed by the King of Israel.  The king has no faith and cannot heal him, but he sends him to Elisha, the prophet.  I came to the place where Naaman stands before Elisha's house and Elisha does not come out and show himself, but sends word by his servant that the commander should go and wash seven times in the Jordan, and then he will be cleansed.  Proud Naaman is incensed: 2 Kings 5:11-12 (ESV) 
    "But Naaman was angry and went away, saying, 'Behold, I thought that he would surely come out to me and stand and call upon the name of the Lord his God, and wave his hand over the place and cure the leper.  Are not Abana and Pharpar, the rivers of Damascus, better than all the waters of Israel? Could I not wash in them and be clean?' So he turned and went away in a rage."

Now, here's the interesting part.  I've read this story before (and so have you, probably) and I was expecting his servants to draw near and say something like what I've always read in translations like the KJV: 2 Kings 5:13 (KJV) 
    "And his servants came near, and spake unto him, and said, My father, if the prophet had bid thee do some great thing, wouldest thou not have done it? how much rather then, when he saith to thee, Wash, and be clean?"

However, the ESV reads this way: "But his servants came near and said to him, 'My father, it is a great word the prophet has spoken to you; will you not do it? Has he actually said to you, 'Wash, and be clean'?'" 

Isn't it interesting, the emphasis these two translators saw?  Checking back into the KJV, I noted that "if," "do some," and "it" were not in the original Hebrew.  I love the emphasis of the ESV translation: the prophet, a simple servant of God and not a great man, who is not overawed by your worldly pomp, has given you a great word (that humbles you in its simplicity and its focus on a rather humble river in Israel).  The accent is on the "great word" of God, not on the "great deeds" of man.

In my life, how many times have I missed the greatness of God's Word to me because of the humble servants through whom He sent it?  Note that Naaman heard of the prophet through a little Israeli slave girl, and went from the pomp of Isreal's court to find a lowly prophet, who commanded him to do a simple task in order to be healed and blessed by a major miracle.

In my life, so many great and good blessings have come from obeying God in what seemed simple, ordinary, and small.  Daily devotions, for example, have yielded huge blessings: encourgement, faith to go on, and in more recent times, release from years of oppressive fears.  Daily homeschoooling lessons faithfully excecuted led to scholarships for my children for college--money we never could have provided for them--and the Tapestry of Grace curriculum, which now blesses thousands of other families.  Faithful and small acts of obedience concerning loving unsaved family members have led to new levels of closeness and the ability to witness silently of the joy of living in Jesus.  Serving in church events and walking closely with others have led to amazing levels of sanctification and joy in community such as few that I know have experienced.

Dear sisters: let us press into the Word of God as revealed in Scripture and purpose to see the injunctions given there as GREAT WORDS.  Let us pray, as we ought.  Let us love as we ought.  Let us renew our minds as we ought.  Let us serve as we ought.  In all things, let us seek the seemingly humble, small, and simple acts of obedience and faith, knowing that they are GREAT WORDS to us from a loving Heavenly Father, Who only wants our best. 

Amen, Lord Jesus, through your grace and mercy, we can access the faith to first be cleansed of our own sins, and then turn in obedience to You and receive Your living Word.  Strengthen us, O God, according to that word, that we may humble ourselves, obey, watch Your great works, and rejoice in You evermore!

2 Cor. 3:17-18 (ESV) 
    Now the Lord is the Spirit, and where the Spirit of the Lord is, there is freedom.  And we all, with unveiled face, beholding the glory of the Lord, are being transformed into the same image from one degree of glory to another. For this comes from the Lord who is the Spirit.

Proverbs 13:20a (ESV) 
    Whoever walks with the wise becomes wise...

I have been struggling with a big, bad sin: unforgiveness.  It's accompanied by sister sins: bitterness, judgmentalism, self-righteousness, and anger.  For me, this is actually not a rare event.  As various situations have arisen in my life, I find that my heart is full of these things.  My heart is like a cup filled with grape juice.  Knock this cup, and grape juice spills out; not pure water.  Who would expect otherwise?  There's grape juice in the cup!  If circumstances knock my heart around a little, the sin that's already there is revealed.  The circumstances reveal it to ME.  (God already knows it, and so do many of my life-long companions.)  My heart is desperately wicked, but God is revealing my heart in order to help me change it!

I say with joy that I am struggling now because, until yesterday, I was merely wallowing.  I am keenly aware of the difference.  When I am wallowing, I engage in sin while feeling both smug and guilty.  I have conversations in my head where I finally get to say to my adversary the perfect put down, the perfect come back.  These imaginary conversations are ones where I finally get to tell the offensive person how truly bad they are, and how much they've hurt me, and it hurts them, it cuts them, it finally makes them see (and stop)!  Recently, I've been up in the night with these, and the guilt part had begun to work on me.

So, yesterday, I finally acted in accordance with my calling in the gospel.  I took up my Victory Over Failures worksheet and started to look up verses on anger, malice, and finally, forgiveness.  My, oh my. 

John 20:22-23 (ESV) 

    And when he had said this, he breathed on them and said to them, "Receive the Holy Spirit.  If you forgive the sins of anyone, they are forgiven; if you withhold forgiveness from anyone, it is withheld."

Matthew 6:14-15 (ESV) 

    For if you forgive others their trespasses, your heavenly Father will also forgive you, but if you do not forgive others their trespasses, neither will your Father forgive your trespasses.

Matthew 18:21-22 (ESV) 

    Then Peter came up and said to him, "Lord, how often will my brother sin against me, and I forgive him? As many as seven times?"  Jesus said to him, "I do not say to you seven times, but seventy times seven.

Luke 6:35-38 (ESV) 

    But love your enemies, and do good, and lend, expecting nothing in return, and your reward will be great, and you will be sons of the Most High, for he is kind to the ungrateful and the evil.  [36] Be merciful, even as your Father is merciful. [37] "Judge not, and you will not be judged; condemn not, and you will not be condemned; forgive, and you will be forgiven;  [38] give, and it will be given to you. Good measure, pressed down, shaken together, running over, will be put into your lap. For with the measure you use it will be measured back to you."

As usual, I find that when I point the finger at my brother or sister, there are three accusing fingers pointing back at me.  "She has judged me!"  What have I done?  "He has accused me, Lord!"  What have I done?  "They have wronged me!"  Maybe.  But am I not doing just that right now?

Why do we forgive?  Jesus brings us back to the only compelling reason, over and over: because we have been forgiven so much, as undeserving as we are.  We can choose to imitate God, or imitate Satan.  We can change to become like Jesus, or we can become just like the very ones that hurt us, and just as guilty in the process.

Walking with the wise, we grow wise.  Is it not an awesome thing that spending time with Jesus changes us into His image?  Now that I'm truly struggling with these big, bad sins, I am changing.  I know, because last night I did not wake up having imaginary conversations.  This morning, I awoke with joy and ran blithely to my quiet time, desiring nothing more than to continue confronting this set of big, bad sins.  As I confront them, as I repent, I am being changed from glory to glory.  I am happier; I have peace with God; and I am able to obey His Word.  Joy of joys!  This does not come from my sorry heart.  It comes from God's Spirit.  How amazing that by the power of His Spirit, I am becoming more and more like Jesus!

May He receive all the glory, for apart from Him, I can do nothing.

I never used to esteem holidays.  Especially birthdays, or (as I became one) Mother's Day.  I never liked all the fuss.  They seemed like a lot of work for not much profit.  I mean, I don't like being the center of attention, and usually all I ever felt on my birthday was general embarassment.  "Happy Birthday!" everyone said all day long.  Well, sometimes I didn't feel happy; other times, I wondered why this day... can't I be wished just as much happiness the other 364 days of the year?  (It also didn't help that my birthday happens to fall on April 1, so I was the butt of many April Fool's jokes as a schoolchild.)

And Mother's Day.  Sheesh!  I know my family loves and appreciates me.  They are kind enough to tell me practically every day of my waking life that they love me, and often they even thank me for the things I do for them.  In recent years, as my adult children have chosen to work with me in our homeschooling ministry, I've been so aware of their love, their forgiveness, and their true regard for me and for my husband.  Co-laboring with our children for the gospel has been one of the sweetest phases of my life.

But I digress.

For the last few years, I've managed to avoid my birthday.  At first, this seemed like a terrific idea.  Three years ago, I was in a car with Charity driving to Tenessee on my birthday.  We had a merry old time, and my poor family caught up with "happy birthday" wishes by cell phone.  I felt smug... but a little distant.  Last year, we scheduled ourselves to speak at the Nebraska state conference on my birthday.  Furthermore, Scott scheduled himself to speak at the high school graduation associated with the conference.  I, naturally shy of 2,500 or more knowing it was my birthday, asked him to keep it dark.  He, naturally, didn't.  So, the sweet conference hostess brought a lovely sheet cake to my booth (that I then snacked on and handed out to customers all day) and sang to me.  My poor kids tried to call me on my cell, but I was teaching sessions all that day, so they either interrupted them and were cut off, or found an unresponsive cell phone and left messages.  Bless them!  Then, that night, I went back to the hotel alone, with my half-eaten birthday cake and a sugar high.  After sitting there a few moments, I decided to go and get a festive dinner -- alone --and set out on foot.  Well, I couldn't find a suitable place.  I ended up eating hors d'oevres alone in a bar and coming home as quickly as I could.  I then fell asleep waiting for Scott to come back.  It was pretty bleak.

THIS year, Scott said, "No!" to all conference engagements on my birthday.  So far, so good, until our little field trip to Europe had to be pushed back two weeks to avoid Easter.  This put us in England for a very busy day of touring (responsible for 32 other teens and parents) and flying across the English channel to Paris late that night.  Sigh.  If you are a regular reader of this blog, you know how much I love flying. (Not.) 

I had had a particularly difficult spring, and was struggling with discouragement, and, thinking back on the last few holidays, I bravely spoke up and said to my family (two days before leaving for Europe), "I'd like to celebrate my birthday before we go."  Gulp. I was crying.  I knew what they would do.  They would smother me with encouragement: specific, meaningful, verbal encouragement.  And they did.  We went to our favorite restaurant, and had a wonderful evening that filled up my emotional tank and blessed my socks off.

Well, it was a good thing, because my actual birthday turned out to be worse than just having to tour all day and then fly.  Through a series of events, our group (with my husband) flew to France as planned, but I was left alone in London on my birthday, and for two more days.  I was staying in a youth hostel, so after feeding my solitary self, alone again on my birthday, and tucking into a bunk in an eight-bed dorm, I slept... until 2 AM.  At that point, seven French teenagers came in, and were wound up, noisy, and downright rude until 4:30 AM. 

This year, we also were speaking on Mother's Day weekend in San Diego.  Scott decided we would stay over on Sunday and visit our sister church out there, rather than grabbing the red eye home.  But my kids were determined to bless me, even though I was a continent away.  When I arrived at my host's home on Saturday night after the conference, there were flowers on the doorstep.  "Oh, look!" I said, "Someone left flowers for you."  She swooped them up and looked at the card.  "Not for me," she said, "For you!"  You could have knocked me over with a feather!  Then began to flow emails (complete with mother-loving sentiments, poetry, Wikipedia articles about the origins and purposes of Mother's Day) and blog entries, all honoring me way beyond my just due.  I was blessed.  I was encouraged.  I was strengthened.  I felt loved.

Maybe holidays aren't such a bad thing after all...?

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I just had to share my email from Marjorie, because it so glorifys God, and, I hope, gives you younger mothers still in the trenches a foretaste of good things to come.  She wrote:

Since returing from Europe (yes, we got back safely, thanks to the grace of God and many prayers--thanks!), I've been busier that the proverbial one-armed paper hanger, as conference season looms ahead of me.  (If you've developed a habit of prayer for me, THANKS, and keep up the good work!  I really need it!)

I've been in Ephesisans lately, preaching the gospel to myself daily because I need it so desperately.  My sin is ever before me, and I would sink into the slough of despond if I didn't have the Dear Old Story to remind me that it's all about Him!

In verse 2 of chapter 1, Paul opens his letter with this: "Grace to you and peace from God our Father and the Lord Jesus Christ."  I've been camped here for days.  Isn't that the perfect thing to wish someone whenever you greet them?  How would the world be if, from our hearts, we could wish that those we meet would have grace and peace?

Grace: that sweet forgiveness that we don't deserve but desperately need.  Grace: that free gift from God to us through Jesus, that we can now turn and freely give to others.  Grace: that balm that heals all the wounds we give each other.  Grace: the only godly way you'll deal with the difficult person in your life.  Grace: the only way you'll keep from being the difficult person in the lives of others!

And peace!  Peace with God.  Peace with eachother.  Peace in our hearts: an absence of anxiety, striving, worry, stress, fears, doubts, and cares.  Peace like a river that washes our careworn, tired souls and makes us freshly amazed at grace.  Who doesn't need a wish for peace?

As I've been meditating this way, it's helped me.  I find that I naturally tend to judge others around me, or become easily impatient.  Schooling myself to wish them nothing but grace and peace has given me much joy.  I bet it's made me sweeter to live with, too!

So, from me to you today, "Grace to you and peace from God our Father and the Lord Jesus Christ."

For those of you who have offered to pray, we need some some serious petitions to go to the Father today and tomorrow.

Our first three days in London went just as planned.  Our group arrived safely and was gathered into the Hostel.  We walked to the British Museum and saw the originals of Austin, Handel, Leonardo, Gutenburg and many others there.  After appropriate oos and ahhhs, we returned to the hostel for snack and naps.  At 3:30, we sallied forth, jumped on a double decker bus and went to the British Museum for a few hours.  There are wonderful treasures there that my co-op students (with their thorough grounding in ancient history) enjoyed.  The most famous is the Rosetta Stone, but also not to be missed were the Assyrian freezes and gate statues, and the original friezes from the Parthenon, in Greece.

The next day, we arose and shone a little later than usual, and took a train to Warwick Castle.  There, we explored up and down, in and out.  We had great weather the two days: low 50's with cloudy sun.  No one could ask more!

Yesterday, April 1 (and my birthday) was a packed one, and we knew we'd really need to keep to our schedule.  Doing so, we saw Westminster Abby, the Tower of London, and St. Paul's Cathedral before coming back to our hostel for our left luggage.  We then had two hours to catch a British Air flight to Paris.  This is where the snag hit.

We had awoken on the night we arrived and realized that Scott had left the entire trip's Eurail passes (value: $15,000) at home.  We had used the miracle of email to get in touch with our staff back home and have them UPS us the tickets.  The hitch was, it was Saturday yesterday.  And our son, Nate, who ships every day with UPS, had gone and sent the package properly, except though he paid for Saturday delivery, and though he told them three times that it must be here on Saturday, they omitted to tell him to affix a Saturday sticker.

The tickets didn't come.  I am here in London, while Scott and the kids went on to France.  We REALLY need those tickets to come into our hostel on Monday before noon.  I need to leave this hostel at 12:15 to make my train to France to reunite with the group.  Please pray?

True confessions: I don't like flying.  It squeezes my heart royally, and the sin of fear seeps out.  My mind entertains thoughts like this: once the plane takes off and I leave the ground, there is zero room for error.  Putting it simply, to crash is to die. Of course, there is the balancing view: to die is to be with Jesus, but somehow my stomache doesn't make that connection.  It stays earthbound as the plane takes off, my heart starts pounding, my breathing comes harder, and I start praying.

Well, last night, I flew to London.  Across all that ocean.  In the pitch dark. 

It went fine.  In fact, it was so... so... so ordinary!  The stewardesses did their things (greeting, telling us what to do in case of a water landing [does anyone ever believe them?], serving dinner and then breakfast, etc.), the baby in front of us did her thing (screaming for an hour, then conking nicely for the remainder of the flight), and the pilot did his thing (piloting the huge 777 flawlessly through the pitch dark over an entire ocean to land in a foreign country with hardly a bump or stretch of turbulence).  It was all very ordinary.

But not to me.  To me, it was a miracle.  The LORD spared my life for one more day of service and delight.  The "ordinary" flight was, to me, a fear-filled sinner hanging on tight to my Lord and my ipod and listening to worship songs the whole time, a miracle.  Flight alone is a miracle: I mean, how does that HUGE, HEAVY plane lift so effortlessly into the air?  (I  know, I know.  I'm a homeschool mom.  Physics and air pressure and draft and all that.  BUT!!!!)  I still maintain: it was a miracle, and I'm grateful to God.

May I add another praise report?  London is sunny and 50 degrees!  Miracle # 2 for today.

Tomorrow, 27 of my favorite people will make the same trip, and we will be on hand at Heathrow Airport to welcome them.  (In case you missed it, we are taking about 18  kids and 12 parents and our daughter on the "Grand Tour" through three European countries and seven cities.  (I'll post our progress here as we get the chance.)  It's the ultimate field trip to end our four-year study of Western Civilization together, and my co-op teaching career.

Scott and I could use prayer.  Our loved ones could use prayer.  Without minute-by-minute miracles on this trip, so much can go wrong.  Would you please parter with us in this?  We want these kids to broaden their experience so that they can gain a heart for post-Christian Europe and glorify God for His works through men in ages past.  But, we need God's help to take one step, make one successful take off and landing, and catch even a single train with all 33 people aboard.  There are many flights and trains ahead, and your prayers would mean a lot to me.

Thanks, in advance, and GLORY to God for His miracles and sustaining grace, still working in us today!

In Deut. 7:17-22 (ESV), Moses is addressing the Israelites on the eve of both his death and their entry into the long-awaited Promised Land.  What mixtures of joy and grief must Moses have felt as he anticipated his coming passage?  He said,

    "If you say in your heart, 'These nations are greater than I. How can I dispossess them?'  you shall not be afraid of them but you shall remember what the Lord your God did to Pharaoh and to all Egypt, the great trials that your eyes saw, the signs, the wonders, the mighty hand, and the outstretched arm, by which the Lord your God brought you out. So will the Lord your God do to all the peoples of whom you are afraid.  Moreover, the Lord your God will send hornets among them, until those who are left and hide themselves from you are destroyed. You shall not be in dread of them, for the Lord your God is in your midst, a great and awesome God. The Lord your God will clear away these nations before you little by little. You may not make an end of them at once, lest the wild beasts grow too numerous for you." 

This is a formula for us to adopt as homeschool moms, is it not?  We are looking at a long and arduous task: we are seeking to train and educate multiple children to the glory of God.  (What is conquering a few square miles of strange territory inhabited by hostile and terrifying enemies compared to that?! )  On top of that, many of us have relatives and well-meaning friends who are concerned about our choices.  They mean, very kindly, to set us straight, and this effort eats away at our confidence and faith.  To quote Gimli in The Return of the King, homeschooling looks like, "Certain death; small chance of success--what are we waiting for?"  BUT, sisters (and don'tcha love biblical "buts"?), GOD is with us. 

Dear sisters, GOD is with us.  Ponder that. The most awesome, majestic, powerful, loving, and kind being in the universe (and outside it) is with us.  He is a force to be reckoned with!  How grateful we should be, each day, for a Savior Who purchased our right relationship with the awesome and Almighty God! 

Take it another way:  God IS with us.  Do you realize that at any moment of the day, you can call on His Name, and He will help you right then, and right there?  He is with us: present tense!

God is WITH us. He is fighting for us in unsuspected ways.  (I mean, do you think the Canaanites thought about God using hornets against them?)  He is fighting for us in mighty ways, and in invisible ways that we will not even know of until we look back (either on earth or in Heaven).  I can already testify that, looking back, when He asked me to walk on water, and I took Him at His word and climbed out of the boat, the water was always solid beneath my feet.  As long as I kept my eyes on Him, I remained on top!  But I'm sure I remain unaware of a thousand mercies that He showered on me as I walked before Him in my homeschooling days.

And, God is with US.  We, in ourselves, are weak.  We are children who are growing up in the school of life.  Each trial in our lives -- big and little -- is an opportunity to glorify Him by trusting Him in the moment.  It is in the moment that our faith is displayed, to the glory of God.  In the moment, we either turn to Him or rely on ourselves.  In the moment, we either believe that He is good, near, with US, or we look at the forces arrayed against us and waver.

Note, too, that Moses told the Israelites that He would drive out the enemies slowly.   Why?  For their good!  "That wild beasts not grow too numerous for you."  Homeschooling is a journey.  It's a long walk.  And the "land" is vast, and populated with dangers, toils, and snares.  Yet, there are hidden dangers, too.  (Hidden to me; not to my loving Father.)  What are my wild beasts with homeschooling?  I can find most of them in my own heart.  What if I were quickly and easily successful in raising and training my children?  Wild beasts would appear to devour me.  What are they? Well, let me begin to count them: pride, self-centeredness, isolationism, arrogance, self-reliance, legalism, self-righteousness, ... on and on.  If I encounter success easily, other sins will grow to fill the place of my doubts, my fears, my self-pity, and my unbelief.  God has us in homeschooling as much for our sanctification and for our kids'.

Sin to the left, sin to the right.  My path through these years can only be discovered by holding tight to Father's hand and looking up to Him in trusting love.  He has chosen my path from before the foundation of the world.  It is His good pleasure to cause me to succeed as I look to Him; and, He has lessons to teach me when I cease to look to Him.  He has lessons to teach others when I look to Him and still find the enemies numerous and the terrain difficult.  But make no mistake: He is loving and powerful.  God is with us.  And mightier than those that now inhabit the land I am called to occupy.

Amen.  Let me go forth with faith, trusting Him to do all things in and through Jesus.  Let me be His handmaiden, watching Him work through me as I trust and obey.

Yesterday, a big thing happened quietly enough.  I ended my co-op teaching career.  Week in and week out, for eight school years, I've been the main teacher and leader for a growing and vibrant co-op.  I've taught basically two groups of kids (with some coming in and out during different years), each for four years. With conference responsibilities and the Tapestry Redesign project coming up this spring, it seemed wise and good to all that Karen step in and teach our students for the fourth quarter. So, yesterday was my last class.  Sigh.

I will miss teaching.  I love it.  But, again, wiser heads say that I must decrease so that others may increase, and I agree.  I'm not really grieving today, because I've been through all that as the day approached.  And, next week I'm taking my second set of dear students on a deluxe field trip: two weeks in Europe seeing the sights of Western Civilization that we've studied together over the last four years.  Not a bad consolation prize!

This spring, Marjorie (my baby!) will be done with homeschool.  A 22-year project involving homeschooling six children through high school, something that I thought I would never, ever complete -- let alone, complete successfully -- will be done, and done well!  How did it happen?  God did it; before time, He created me for these good works, and then He gave me the grace to accomplish them, day by day.  There was even enough grace for spillover, and thus Tapestry of Grace.  We can't outgive God!

God is so kind.  How gently He can draw us through big passages.  Trusting Him through them is the key, I think.  Passages aren't scary when we remember Who is leading us through them, and why.  I'll be celebrating my birthday on the night that we fly from London to Paris.  I'll be 48.  That used to sound so OLD.  It does still, in ways.  "Pushing 50!"  My eyesight is less good, and my body doesn't do what I want it to anymore, but, again, I'm serene.   I'm grateful that the older I get, the sweeter Heaven seems.  And, the fruit of His faithfulness through the years: friends, co-laborers in the gospel, adult children who stay close and continue to love me despite my many sins, and my dearest friend, Scott, are all close and healthy in body and spirit.  That will all change, too.  But I can smile at the future, because I know in Whom I have believed.  I'm in that place in life where I have more evidences of grace than fears for the future.  Like Israel, I can look back into my own life and see amazing works of God -- miracles, every one -- and believe Him for the future with more and more confidence.

Trust in the Lord and do good, dear sisters.  Dwell in the land and enjoy safe pasture!  God has a steady hand to guide us through this world!

So, I was practicing teaching my writing seminar sessions that I plan to give this spring at conventions.  A few really good friends had come for the afternoon to listen to me stumble through my new material.  (They were both kind and helpful!  Many others will be the beneficieries!)

As I went along, I came to the part where I was trying to explain topic sentences and how you grade paragraphs.  I was telling how younger writers often get off topic, and how this is a flaw in their writing that needs correction. 

"For instance," I said, with absolutely no forethought, "Say you want your youngster to write a paragraph entitled 'Doggies.'"  And with that, here's what came out of my mouth:

Doggies

     "Doggies are often called "Man's Best Friend."  This is because they are loyal.  They can be taught to retrieve sticks.  They will keep you company at night.  You should always care for your doggie if you want him to be your friend.  Doggies eat dog food, which you can get at your food store.  Last week, Mommy and I went to the food store and saw Mrs. Parsons there.  Mrs. Parsons told me that she was excited about starting my piano lessons next week..."

My point was made, and we all enjoyed a good giggle.  Isn't that JUST how your kids' paragraphs sound(ed)?  I just love homeschooling.  Our kids are so earnest, so cute, and so dear.  May you have moments like this today (and the grace to laugh at them) as you press on in the service of the King.  Bless us, Lord, every one!