• Sep. 20, 2006 - Self-righteousness: Part I

James 3:1 says, "Not many of you should become teachers, my brothers, for you know that we who teach will be judged with greater strictness." Lately, this Scripture passage has been so true for me on so many levels that I've seriously considered taking down this blog and shutting down Tapestry forever, let alone finding some way to get out of all the teaching engagements Scott and I have made across the country.  It's all part of being used for God's purposes, however.  God doesn't feed His people from dirty crockery.  Vessels that carry His message must be clean.  Golden nuggets of truth must be refined into proper settings for the gospel.  Though it is hard, I wouldn't change time in the Refiner's fire for anything.  It must result in me becomming more like Christ, and to that assurance I cling with all my might. As I thought of shutting down my teaching career in response to the dismay (and self-pity) that I've battled in seeing my own sin more clearly, I realized, "Wait!  My blog is for teachers!  If God is showing me something, I had better share it with my fellow teachers so that they can profit from my mistakes!"  It is in this spirit that I continue to write.  But, fair warning, it's not pretty. Part of what I have been learning, as deadlines loom and time is short, is a long-needed lesson about self-righteousness.  Like high blood pressure, this sin is a silent killer.  You can't even find the term in the Bible (at least not in the concordance), and teachers (especially homeschooling moms) are among those most at risk for this all-too-invisible disease.  For me, revelation started with bitter fruit in my life.  Jesus said, "By their fruits you shall know them."  Let's start with the fruit self-righteousness bears. In my life, self-righteousness produced bitterness, resentment, anger, judgmentalism, harsh speech, disrespect for my husband (in word and deed), contempt for others (expressed and only in my mind) and broken relationships.  It has left me loveless, friendless, and discouraged.  (Now, don't pity me too much.  I still have love, friends, and courage as a gift from God; but there are those from whom I am estranged because of my sins.)  Aha!  Now we start to have words to work with that are in the concordance!  Now, we can drill down into my heart and find the root lies I am believing that result in the bundle we call self-righteousness. I asked myself, "Why do feel these things?  How did I get here?  What's the dynamic at work here?"  Here's what I believe God's Spirit has shown me.  See if you can't relate.  Someone does something unholy.  Let's say that I am over a friend's house and it's around dinner, and her Christian husband comes through the door, pecks her on the cheek, and then sits down in front of the news and is lost to the family for the evening.  "How rude of him!" I think inwardly. "The selfishness he evidences cannot be excused!  How can he treat her that way?  I wouldn't put up with it."  And so, I begin to think ill of that man.  I am angry at him.  I no longer have good wishes for him (love in the agape sense).  I move away from him, relationally. I do not pray for their marriage; or, if I do, it's prayer for him to shape up.  If nothing changes, soon I'll be estranged from my friend, too.  All my thoughts of  this man become colored by my contempt, my resentment, my sense of offence on the part of my friend (whether she is offended or not).  I have judged him in my heart; I have weighed and measured him, and found him wanting.  Ah!  Now we begin to see the first trap.  There are lies mixed with truths that cause self-righteousness to be both subtle and deadly to my spiritual health and my relationships.  His behavior was rude and unkind, and the selfishness was real.  So far, I am correct in my estimation.  Here's the thing, though.  His wrong behavior  cannot be excused, but it has been paid for.  I am offended, but God is not.  God has forgiven my friend's husband before he even asks for that forgiveness. Jesus Christ received the wrath of God on the cross for my brother in Christ.  As a fellow sinner I stand at the foot of the cross with that man, in just as much need for God's forgiving grace as he is.  When I fold my arms, and judge his worth, I put myself in God's place.  If I were honest, I would say it out loud, "God may have forgiven him, but I have not."  Wow: there's pride for you.  Here's a syllogism that my husband worked out for me: I want what God wants. (I am righteous.) So-and-so didn't do what I want. (I am, of course, right) So-and-so doesn't want what God wants. (And so, must be punished.) In my pride, I wish to either add to God's wrath (so the person will be adequately--in my estimation--punished) or subtract from Jesus' finished work (reserve forgiveness until I am satisfied).  I forget my own need for forgiveness, I forget Jesus's work on the Cross, and I put myself in God's place when I indulge self-righteousness.  As Ken Sande of Peacemaker's Ministries so aptly puts it, "I desire, I demand, I judge, and I punish"--by thoughts, words, and actions of contempt, harshness, unforgiveness, bitterness, and resentment.  Such pride!  Ouch!  Is that really me?  You bet!  (I warned you that it wasn't pretty.)  There's plenty in the Bible about judging others (Romans 2) and walking in unforgiveness (Matthew 6:14-15). Can anyone else relate to my sin?  Whether you can or not, please take pity on me and pray for me to see it ever more clearly and repent of it ever more diligently.  I want to be more like Christ than I am yet.  This is only the tip of this iceberg, and I'm sure that I'll be posting other insights on this topic: hence the title of this post--Part I.

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Comments

• Sep. 20, 2006 - I relate in far too many ways....

Posted by PatriciaWHunter

...I am ashamed to admit. Putting aside the grace and mercy that the Lord has poured out on me in immeasurable abundance (I am the worst of sinners, after all), I can be much too quick to look beyond the log in my eye to see the splinter in another. And as I have recently written, I have tossed a few stones (though hidden in my heart and only He knew), as a result. Lord, forgive me!

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• Sep. 21, 2006 - Been there...

Posted by

God took me through a season of showing me that not only do I sin, but that I AM a sinner. It was very painful but the fruit is WONDERFUL!!! (It was so painful because if I'd been honest with myself my real attitude would have been that "since I had never sinned in a big way it meant I wasn't a sinner except in theory"... that's alot of self righteousness that God had to cut away.) But take heart... just as you hate the fruit of self-righteousness you’re going to LOVE the fruit of knowing your own sinfulness. I “knew” that I was a sinner since becoming a christian but never KNEW that I was a sinner if you catch my drift! Knowing my sinfulness makes me aware of my bottomless debt to God, not just as a theory, a “truth“ that I am taught but as something that I know in the depths of my soul… something that is a part of my core. This makes me more compassionate toward others who are caught in sins. Sometimes I’ll start to think or speak something judgmental towards someone who is obviously in the wrong and the knowledge of my own debt to God rises up all on it’s own and I find myself saying things like “well, you never know what that person’s been through… or “even though that’s wrong it only points to their deep need of a saviour, just like me”. It’s been a heart change. I never would have asked for it but my loving God gave me what was best for me. I pray, as He gives you what is best for you, that you hold on to the certainty of the prize…. the fruit that you will bear afterward will be very sweet and will not only bless you but others who God puts in your circle of influence! Edited by ihopeyoudance on Sep. 21, 2006 at 5:31 AM

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• Sep. 21, 2006 - Thanks!

Posted by Handmaiden

Thanks to both of you for sharing and for encouraging me. I appreciate that you took the time to comment!

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• Sep. 22, 2006 - Untitled Comment

Posted by ElCloud

Yes, I can also relate. I am realizing I lack grace toward my children. Not only do I sometimes hold grudges and not forgive them, I also am guilty of trying to manipulate them into guilt by trying to be the Holy Spirit to them. I am sure God will show me other areas where I do this. Pride and self-righteousness are areas I struggle in. :( April

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• Sep. 23, 2006 - Ouch!

Posted by

I just started a new Women's Bible Study two weeks ago. It is the first one I have gone to and not taught in about 25 years. My daughter, whom you know and love, Heather Lee, picks it out. (Okay so we really know it is God who directed this) and the First week, First day lesson is on King Uzziah; His early love for the Lord and His prideful contempt later in life. Ouch! Day two King Jotham, my Pride rears up as I think, this writing is trying to make a point, but she is in error here. Of course I know better, so do I really want to do this study? Oh have I left some idols in High Places in my life? Ouch again. Next King Ahaz takes the throne and sacrifices his children… So is there anyone else out here feeling like you? That would be like saying it is a "coincidence" that your post coincides with Rosh Hashanah, The Day of Repentance. And we know there are God appointments in our lives not coincidences. I am standing no, make that kneeling with you. Blessings, Bobbie . Edited by bubbebobbie on Sep. 23, 2006 at 12:32 PM

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• Oct. 12, 2006 - Grace

Posted by Trace

I wanted to offer you this note of encouragement. Recognizing your sin and addressing it is evidence of GRACE in your life. This GRACE is a gift from God for His children. Thank you, Lord, for giving my sister 'eyes' to see her sin and the GRACE to repent and cry out to you for forgiveness. Thank you, Lord, for promising to supply all of her needs. This promises includes conviction of sin and the GRACE to recognize it and to biblically address it. Thank you for promising in your holy Word to, "...give GRACE to the humble," I know you delight in hearing your Word spoken back to you, Heavenly Father. Amen! I don't think it is a coincidence that your curriculum is entitled Tapestry of GRACE. :)

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• Nov. 5, 2006 - Untitled Comment

Posted by princesslynn

Thank you for sharing. The Lord has shown me that in my lowest moments...not only was I focusing on other's splinters...I was looking at them threw scales on my eyes. I would think of others as "those sinners" and it was because of THEIR sins that I was having to make the choices that I was making. I could not focus clearly on anything...I could not discern right from wrong, good from evil. It was not until the Lord began to peel away those scales that I could begin to see myself for the ugly sinner that I am. His grace and mercy are wonderful indeed. Blessings to you.

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• Sep. 5, 2007 - cracked pot

Posted by Anonymous

I was speaking with a co-worker yesterday that had just rededicated her life to Christ. The subject came up as I mentioned that my neice's husband had gotten saved. She took that as a sign for her to tell me about her experience. In the course of our conversation I was telling her of my young daughter who has ask Jesus into her heart but at 6 she is just not ready for Baptism. I told my daughter that like in water baptism, just telling others of what God has done is also a confession and we can do the water baptism when she is ready. Then my coworker who had told me of her new daughter was from an affair she had and that now she is not going to marry the father of the baby. Her church reccomends that she publically confess that sin at church before the congreation. I explained that she confessed it to me and therefore confession is confession. I am a teacher in my church and I am ashamed at how I do in my life at times. That sin keeps me humble because sometimes God speaks through me in such powerful ways that if I did not have the reminder of my own weakness I would think it was because I was so good because I know I am not smart. Does the marathon runner get embarassed because he starts to cramp up? Does the football player quit because he ran the wrong route on a pass play? Does the Corporate CEO turn down a million dollar bonus when he loses 10 million? No they realize that is a part of what they are doing and problems associated with their activity will happen. D James Kennedy died today, and he was a great man with lots of insite and once he stated that the greatest teachings he ever had arose form his experience, read sin. Dirty broken pots mean that God is using them and perfect and clean ones should stay in the cabinate because they are too fragile to use. I want to be Gods everyday China.

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