Posted in Family

I am such a happy mama. Im thrilled to have all of my ducklings under my roof all day long. I love being the one to read to them, the one to listen to thier lunch time jokes and banter. I love teaching my girls how to cook and clean. BUT alas.... I do occasionally get tired of my children. Yes, I will admit. After spending all day and night with them for three straight days Im ready for a trip out. Usually its a walk or a side trip to Walmart with my mom, its just a few hours away from, "Mama guess what?" or "Mama, Adrian wont stop whining." or "Mama can I....?" I have actually been made to feel guilty about this from other moms. No one I know personally really but in the blog world, I have been called out for not enjoying my blessings. Believe me, I enjoy my blessings. I worked hard to get these blessings. I prayed with tears, sweat, frustration, anger and bitterness. I still plead with God daily to open my womb. I KNOW my children are a blessing from the Lord. But I dont think there is anything wrong with just going for a walk alone sometimes, or browsing the fabric department at Walmart without telling the kids to stand still for 5 minutes. Even Jesus had to leave the disciples and be alone sometimes.. :)

I love my children. I pray daily that I will be the mother they need. I beg God to guide me in wisdom where they need me.. If I run in errand in the evening when daddy is home, I tend to take one or two with me for some bonding time. But about every 3-5 days I need about two-three hours of kid free time. I dont think that makes me a bad mommy. Actually it makes me better because in those two-three hours I really start to miss my kids and all thier little ways. I see more clearly something bothering my six year old. I notice as I walk and think about the children something I might have missed in the busyness of the day. While I walk I spend time praying for my children, for thier salvation, for thier faith, and for thier future spouse. I come back refreshed and rejuvinated. I love the time I have with them and cherish every moment as much as I can, but the time I have away from them is relaxing and restful and I wont feel guilty for it or apologize for it.