Jul. 12, 2007 - The new birth order

I don't often read, much less post, the forwards I receive over my e-mail.  I could not pass this one up, because well, it's just so darn true!  Read it and tell me you don't agree!

Your Clothes
 
1st baby: You begin wearing maternity clothes as soon as your OB/GYN confirms your pregnancy.
 
2nd baby: You wear your regular clothes for as long as possible.
 
3rd baby: Your maternity clothes ARE your regular clothes.
_____________________________________________________
Preparing for the Birth:
 
1st baby: You practice your breathing religiously.
 
2nd baby: You don't bother because you remember that last time, breathing didn't do a thing.
 
3rd baby : You ask for an epidermal in your eighth month.
______________________________________________________
The Layette :
 
1st baby: You pre-wash newborn's clothes, color- coordinate them, and fold them neatly in the baby's little bureau.
 
2nd baby: You check to make sure that the clothes are clean and discard only the ones with the darkest stains.
 
3rd baby: Boys can wear pink, can't they?
______________________________________________________
Worries:

1st baby: At the first sign of distress--a whimper, a frown--you pick up the baby.
 
2nd baby: You pick the baby up when her wails threaten to wake your firstborn.
 
3rd baby: You teach your three-year-old how to rewind the mechanical swing.
______________________________________________________
Pacifier:
 
1st baby: If the pacifier falls on the floor, you put it away until you can go home and wash and boil it.
 
2nd baby: When the pa cifier falls on the floor, you squirt it off with some juice from the baby's bottle.
 
3rd baby: You wipe it off on your shirt and pop it back in.
______________________________________________________
Diapering:
 
1st baby: You change your baby's diapers every hour, whether t hey need it or not.
 
2nd baby: You change their diaper every two to three hours, if needed.
 
3rd baby: You try to change their diaper before others start to complain about the smell or you see it sagging to their knees.  
______________________________________________________
Activities:
 
1st baby: You take your infant to Baby Gymnastics, Baby Swing, and Baby Story Hour.
 
2nd baby: You take your infant to Baby Gymnastics.
 
3rd baby: You take your infant to the supermarket and the dry cleaner.
__________ ____________________________________________
Going Out:
 
1st baby: The first time you leave your baby with a sitter, you call home five times.
 
2nd baby: Just before you walk out the door, you remember to leave a number where you can be reached.
 
3rd baby: You leave instructions for the sitter to call only if she sees blood.
______________________________________________________
At Home:
 
1st baby: You spend a good bit of every day just gazing at the baby.
 
2nd baby: You spend a bit of everyday watching to be sure your older child isn't squeezing, poking, or hitting the baby.
 
3rd baby: You spend a little bit of every day hiding from the children.
________________________ ______________________________
Swallowing Coins:
 
1st child: When first child swallows a coin, you rush the child to the hospital and demand x-rays.
 
2nd child: When second child swallows a coin, you carefully watch for the coin to pass.
 
3rd child: When third child swallows a coin you deduct it from his allowance!
___________________________________________ ___________
 

Post A Comment!

Jul. 13, 2007 - Untitled Comment

Posted by hsmom210
I remember reading this a year or so ago and it is still very funny reading it again today! Boy can I relate!
Thanks for the laugh! Blessings, Theresa
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Jul. 15, 2007 - oh ME!!!

Posted by momatpeace
Funny thing is -- some of those are REAL!!

°Ü°

Jennifer
http://gabbygwenhwyfar.blogspot.com/
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