Life is hard sometimes. There are no two ways about it. How many of us are willing to admit when we struggle? I'm not one to jump up and shout it out. Oh, I can list a myriad of reasons why I keep smiling, but if I want to be gut wrenchingly honest it all comes down to pride. Ouch! Am I unwilling to share my struggles because of what others might think? How they may respond? What they may think of me? That's pride, plain and simple.
I was thinking recently about my closest friends and how our relationships got to where they are today. Many of them resulted out of difficult or shared circumstances or situations that threw us together and formed a closer bond. We saw each other at our best and our worst and grew closer as a result. I didn't have to worry about what they may think or how they might respond. Our bond was solidified by honesty and openness.
A new friend e-mailed today and asked how my day was going. My normal response would have been, "Fine", all the while knowing that was not the case. I guess you can say I've come to a point in my life that I don't have time for surface relationships. The whole process of building new relationships and starting over has frankly been emotionally exhausting. I don't want to spend time building friendships all the while wearing a mask. Nope. Not gonna do it. So instead of my pat answer, I told her I was feeling blue and having a tough day.
As a piece of my mask fell to the floor, I felt a sense of freedom.
The term emotional integrity was bounce around a few years back at my husband's staff meeting. Masks often actually destroy our relationships because people tend to know when we are not being real. As much as we were created to have fellowship with our Father, I believe that we were equally created to have relationship with each other.
I am sorry that you are still feeling blue. You are more than welcome to e-mail me if you want a listening ear.
Wow! You write some intriging things to think about.
This is one of the lines that jumped out at me. 'Plenty to do, but not an ounce of desire to get it done.' Boy, do I know THAT feeling. I'm going to have to come read through your archives when I get off work. Yes, I'm a full-time working, homeschooling,
elderly care giving, farm running, house moving, spouse of one, mother of three, who knows what it's like to have much to do with little time to do it. Whew.
As for that video, I laughed but more because I DON"T have to say all those things. ;)
Nice meeting you and hope you feel better soon.
Vicki
Oh, yes, Angela, we need to get real! Thank you for what you've said here. Someone thanked me recently for my openness and honesty in sharing - said it was a blessing. I told her I had spent enough time NOT being real with other moms, and I am sure NO ONE was blessed by that. We have so much to offer one another if we will only be the real deal.
Love you,
Karen
I am terribly good at hiding behind masks. You're so right, though. How can one form REAL relationships without being REAL? I admire your spunk and pray that your "gitup an' go" comes back very soon.
Blessings,
Lisa
The daily, sometimes hourly, musings of a homeschooling mom of four surviving on prayer, friendship and lots of Starbucks. Some days my cup runs over and some days it all spills out the cracks...and I wouldn't have it any other way.
