The last push back was from October to February of 2009.  Now it's being pushed back again, but the date is a little unknown right now.  This is what happened:

I just received a call from Archetype (the Management group that wants to represent Justin).  Shephard called to let me know that things were not going so well in LA right now.  Apparently the economic status there is affecting work for the Industry.  He said everything is at a trickle as far as work right now.  It's that way with every facet of the industry.  So, he would rather see us wait to come out there when there's a chance for S-J to have auditions and work, then split the family for us to just be there waiting everything out.  He has "hopes" for a "push"  late spring..but sees it actually taking as long as a year.  In the meantime we just need to concentrate on S-J doing what he can and learning what he can with what we can find around here.  Shephard will contact us as soon as he thinks the Industry is starting to move again.

I'm conflicted with feelings of disappointment and relief.  Disappointment for S-J and the wait that he will have to endure.  A little for the lost opportunity of getting these younger kids away from bad examples set by older siblings.  Relief because we have longer to save up even more money and go through another tax refund season and get even more financially secure for maintaining two homes.  The bad part is Lee took that last week in February as a vacation week already so that's a lost week of vacation time that we wont be using.  Unfortunately with his job he has to try to plan his whole next year in Oct/Nov of the previous year.  Well, the Lord knows what he wants and how and when he wants it.  We are just to obey, wait and be patient.  So, here we go. 

Maybe it has something to do with my daughter J and the fact that things aren't going so well for her living out on her own.  Here's the update on that:

Apparently, she and her roommate are having some pretty serious relationship issues.  The unfortunate thing is that her roommate is also her supervisor at work.  So, not only is it at home but its at work too.  Also, the third roommate is this girls younger brother.  Right now, according to our D-J her friend is done with her and thier relationship.  It also is affecting her "best friend" and her relationship.  These three girls work together and are all "friends".  Her best friend has apparently sided with the other girl and is spreading untruths about D-J at work.  The owner/boss has apparently caught onto this and has informed D-J that she may want to hold back her confidences with the "best friend" until things come to an end.  It was pretty mean of these girls to diss D-J on her B'day but they did.  Apparently, J invited "best friend" over after work for a little while on her B'day.  Best friend said ok and then didnt show up or call or say "happy B'day at all.  Then the next day was other girls B'day and "best friend" came over at 8am to give her a card and say happy B'day before work.  Still not acknowledging D-J.  I felt so bad for her.  I had stopped by earlier in the day to give her her B'day card and a small gift and really wanted to invite her over for B'day cake or to go out for a B'day dinner with the family like we have a tradition of doing.  But, I knew that last year she made it pretty clear that she wanted to spend her B'day with her friends not her family so I figured she'd be doing the same this year.  Well, she said she spent her day all alone at home. :(   So, needless to say, things arent that great with these great friends who counciled her on how to rebell from her family.  Which I cant say that I'm sad about...but it has also led her to seek an old friend who is very much a part of the seeds of rebellion that were planted in D-J back when she was 10/11 yrs old.  I was the one who ended communication with this girl and her family as soon as I found out that they all were aware of her rebellion while in Public School and encouraged her to "follow her heart".  Well, this friend was quite the "player" in the youth group at our old church and caused a lot of fallen staus' among the boys.  Well, now D-J is seeking a girlfriend and has found this girl again.  From the fire to the furnace can you say?  What will it take for D-J to open her eyes and humble herself before God?

Oh, D-J requested an audience with us, Lee and I, the other day.  When she talked to us apparently it was about some rumors flying around our wonderful little town about her.  The really shocking part of this conversation was when she asked us why We were spreading these rumors about her!  You can imagine our shock!  We asked her who told her these things were coming from us and she said she thought that "someone we all three have a realationship with" had told her that.  Well, trying to keep my cool, I told her that I don't want to discuss my feelings or thoughts about that until she returns to that source and makes sure that he was the one who informed her that this was coming from us.  ( and when she comes with assurance one way or the other it will be dealt with if need be)  But, as for the rumors about her flying around town, we would never spread untruths about her.  Why would any parent want to malign the character of their daughter?  What other then shame from it would we as parents get?  I hope she believes us. I think she does...but then the daughter that I once knew really is no longer there.  This is a much different person then the one I know/knew.  Like we told her, she knows the circle of friends we travel in and none of those people would ever say anything malicious about her.  Much less us say those things about her.  Upon hearing of the relationship issues she having with these two friends and another girl who is related to the one she thinks told her we spread the rumors I would highly suspect that one of the three has something to do with whats flying around town. 

New topic: Lee finally got outside and built the chicken yard and it looks great! He did a great job.  So it is almost complete now.  And the siding is almost finished on the pump house too.  Wont be able to paint it till next season probably but hey, no prob now that we are gonna be around in the Spring.

It was a litlle late when we finally fell asleep last night so I was looking forward to sleeping in till 8:30am this morning hoping to stretch it to 9am.  I had my day all planned out..I'd leave the house by 10am drive the 20-25 min to Tonganoxie to hit the one day meat sale at their local store.  Come home, drive out to the farm and pick up our weeks ration of raw cow milk.  Stop by the hardware store to remedy an error on the transaction we made yesterday. Take Justin to get his allergy shot then come home and attempt to make apple butter with the apples D-C picked last week.  Then when hubby gets home continue working on building the chicken run. 

I hate it when my plans get messed up!  That started by D-C knocking on my bedroom door at 8:15 am saying that she heard dogs barking outside by the new chickens we had bought to replace the four that were killed by the stray dog about two months ago.  We got 7 Plymouth Bar Rocks.  So, up I got and grabbed our little Cricket 22 and some shells.  Went outside to find three dogs killing our 7 chickens.  Two of them were strays that had shown up two nights ago terrorizing our kittens on our back porch.  Hubby shot off a warning and they ran off.  They didnt show up the other night so we figured they went away. They were the same age one was a blue "marin"? australian shepherd and the other was black and white australian shepherd with border collie.  One male and one female..beautiful dogs if they had been healthy and well cared for.  The other dog belonged to our neighbor across the creek who we've had trouble with before and he was supposed to be keeping them tied up.  I tried three times to fire the stupid gun and each time it wouldn't fire.  l had never tried to shoot this gun so I had no idea it had "special" things you had to do to cock it and how to make sure the safety was off (which it was off).  Those dogs were so lucky!!  Well, two of them were inside the chicken tractor killing the poor chicks and one was outside.  The two strays submitted to us and we collared them and tied them up.  The neighbors dog got away..but I knew where it was.  So, I called the sheriffs dept to report the dogs in hope that they would take them away.  I couldn't shoot them after they submitted to being collared.  They were just starving...they were so skinny!  We got some old dog food that our dogs didnt like anymore and gave them two small buckets full.  They scarfed it down so fast they didnt even chew!!  My oldest son had to shoot one of the chicks to put it out of its misery.  So, four chickens dead and three survived.  We are not having any luck at all with our chickens.  Those dogs bit right through the chicken wire!!! Made a 8 to 10 inch hole and were able to get in.  Amazing that they could get through something that small! Well, the deputy said they couldnt take them I had to either keep them, shoot them or find a place for them.  Well, they were showing themselves to be nice dogs actually so there was no way I could kill them..hubby wanted me to keep them there till he came home and he would take care of them.  So, I found a pound in Topeka 40 min away that had room for them and took them there.  They did so well on the ride out..I was a little sad to think that they might be put down in a week or two if no one wanted them.  The male was more shy but the female was loving the attention from our smaller children.  From the looks of them and their ages they were probably from the same litter and were dumped out here by someone.  Why can't people take responsibility for the animals they take on????  It's just not right or fair to these poor animals.  Its not fair to the poor chickens either to be attacked by dogs that should be at a home being cared for and fed!  So, my day kinda went south..Luckily, I had my older son go to the meat sale while I went to take the dogs in.  I was able to take S-J to get his allergy shot got the milk on my way home from taking the dogs but never made it to the hardware store.  I'll have to do that tomorrow. 

Our three chickens that survived never came out of the box part of the new tractor we put them in.  They were ok physically but mentally I think they were still petrified and maybe mourning their four sisters.  :(

So, tonight they are in the chicken shed safe and sound in the cages we had waiting for them for when the weather turned cold.  They aren't big enough yet to put with the other chickens.  Should I even try to get cows or goats? Granted they will be behind electric wire but man!! Dont think I could handle more deaths!!

So, thats the life of living on a farm.  Poor little S-M was so traumatized by S-B having to shoot the poor chicken and the three bodies laying around that he just held on tight to the one chicken I handed to him as I pulled the three to safety out of the reach of the two dogs in the cage.  He was close to tears poor thing. I went to talk to the neighbor and let him know I almost shot his dog this morning and let him think the other two did get shot.  He mentioned that two strays showed up a couple days ago and his dog must've followed them over to my house..well I just left it at ..You dont have to worry about the two strays anymore they're gone.  But your dog got away and next time it wont if you dont keep it tied up from now on.  He apologized for the act of his dog and offered to pay me for the chicks..so I told him I bought them for about $2 ea. and took $6 just so that he'd think he did the right thing.  But, we've got more then $6 invested in them already..but thats not why I was telling him about his dogs role in it.  Anyway, I didnt clear up the "they are gone now" statement I made, he just assumed I meant shot them.  But that will help him to consider the life of his chicken eating dog in the future..so I'm not gonna say anything.

We were able to finish getting all the wood together for the chicken run...in the next day or so we'll get the wire on.  We are thinking of putting tin on the bottom 2-3 ft of the run in hopes of deterring anymore chicken wire biting dogs.  We didnt put wire under ground so we still have the possibility of animals digging under though..we'll just hope for the best.

So, another day and another lesson, some died and some were saved even if only temporarily.  I pray the Lord finds homes for the two strays.

In Gods Service,

I have been so uptight for so long about keeping up with school from being in the virtual school last year that I'm finding it hard to settle down.  I've tried using the weaver curriculum spelling this year.  My two little boys are not making the cut.  The words are too hard for the 2nd gr. and the 1st grader isn't retaining the simple rules of VCV with a silent e to make the vowel say its name.

I also have them working in explode the code books.  I guess maybe I'll stick to the explode the code for now for my 1st grader.  I have found this spelling curriculum called All About Spelling online.  It seems really good..not just your basic wkbk spelling program but it has letter tiles and cards to use.  Im thinking about using it for my second grader.  maybe even my forth grader. 

Oh, and I have this cool math program that im using for my 9th grader who is still behind in Math.  6th gr. to be exact.  Its called Aleks.  its online and he seems to really like it as much as any boy would like math/schoolwork. lol 

And then I've recently acquired a software program called Brainware Safari.  Its supposed to help the development of the brain and is for ages 6-12.  Although Im using it on my 14 1/2 yr old too..cant be too careful..LOL  I am using it for my 10 yr old girl who is going through nuerofeedback therapy.  Which is actually starting to help her out.  We cant call her twitch anymore..she can still get distracted easily but if applied she can concentrate for a much longer time now.

Having to regroup with the two little boys is hard when you use one thing and it doesnt seem to work..we've also been trying Hooked on Math.  Its Ok..but i think it can also hold them back from learning math concepts they should be working on.  so, I'm using horizons as well. 

Well..thats about it here.

god bless

I seem to start off my blogs with WELL..so today i'm trying to begin differently.  Is it working so far?

My hubby and I sat down for a long talk about me and the kids trying to leave to go to California the first week in OCT.  We came to the conclusion that it would be better financially if we waited till after the holidays and new year.  One reason, to give us more time to save up money and be able to buy food and maybe beds for us when we do get there.  Another reason, was to not have to be rushed into settleing for a place to live if nothing else was available and maybe even have a second 5 seater car to take with us to keep there instead of the big gas guzzling van.  Plus, Holidays...you know how that goes.

So, we are looking at February/beginning of March for our big moving time.  We will continue to pray about this..cuz like I said everything looks good on paper but reality is another thing.

My DD-J has been having difficulty with her friend/roommate.  She's been "venting "to hubby and I when she comes over.  The first time she talked about it we gave her examples of our experiences and how we handled things..but in the end I told her that we can talk about it and give her advise all we want but ultimately God is the only one who can help her decide what to do and when and if she should do anything at all.  I also shared that we as Believers have no "rights" in this world with unbelievers and that we can get frustrated about not being treated right by someone but ultimately we are the "sheep" in this world and nothing will change that. We can only change how we handle it.  I then shared with her that our vitories are small because our worship is weak/amall.  (She hasn't been attending church for the last three mths.)  She said that last week they worked everything out and everything was good.  Then a couple of days ago her roommate started up again..and this time I just let her know that we had warned her about mixing work/friends/ roommates because they just seem to buckle under the pressure.  So, not only is her home life tense but her work environment is tense and one of her friends (the one she left home to move into her home for a while) is also being stand-offish now.  Part of me is glad that all that we warned her about is coming to pass, but on the other I feel sorry for her.  You can tell that it's hurting her feelings; and that I know very well!!  We told her that night she told us she was leaving the family (in rebellion) that she would always be welcome back..but I'm sure her pride heard none of that..I want to offer for her to come back home..but I also know that the freedom of having your own space/home is hard to give up..she would be coming back as an adult but I don't know if she and hubby can live like that..

Anyway, that's pretty much all that's been going on with us.  May God bless you and yours.

Well, for those of you who don't know..we have been praying about..thinking about..weighing the financial impact and probability..of setting up a second residence in California for my 14 yr old son to have the opportunity to discover his "hidden" talent in the entertainment business..ie. acting/modeling.

Everything looks good on paper..but like I always say paper isnt reality.  The biggest feat?sp is coming up with moving funds and deposits and setting up the new place. Then when all that is said and done..we have to put Justin in acting classes out in LA.  WE'll figure it out somehow I guess. 

Last night we had a little upset to our plans.  I had gone to the school supply store to get new lesson plan and grade books for the coming school year.  Well, I found a grades5-8 Reading Theatre workbook format and the subject was World History.  Basically, I got it because it would give Justin something to start working on learning how to develop a character and learning to read from a script in the comfort of his own home.  WEll, he had a hissy fit of sorts!  I don't want to do that..kind of attitude. He apparently didnt like the subject matter. "they are all dead people" I dont want to learn about that/...???????  I went into the fact that he never will know what the subject matter is about when he goes on an audition for a show/movie..movies are done about "dead" people all the time...what did he think actors started out doing when they began?!  So, it really gave dad and I quite the opposite picture of what he says he wants to do for his career choice/life.  WE really gave it to him about this kind of attitude not being conducive to someone who wants to become an actor.  And about how we are getting ready to tear this family apart and sacrifice financially and emotionally and physically to help him acheive his "dream" and he comes off with this attitude, as if he's above learning.  We told him to think very strongly and pray very hard about whether this is what he really wants in life and come to us and he better be able to convince us that this is worth our trouble/time/money or the whole enchilada is OFF. No more conventions in the future either..he can turn 18 and head off in search of his "dreams" on his own. 

We have been burned by the firstborn, the second born is pretty much turning into the first one also..saying one thing and showing/doing another.  I'm not sure he's going into college courses now..I am getting ready to pay for them..but he's is now 3 to 4 days behind the new schedule I gave him for the work he has left  from last year.  How much do you do for your children to try to give them a leg up in this nasty world and when do you say That's Enough..fight for your future on your own!  I'm such a softy that I give in too much in hopes that they will step up to the plate. 

Onto other things other then the drama of being a parent with children who push you to disappointment.

We are almost done with our garden!!  We are finishing up staining the wood we are using as part of our border fence.  It's just cinder block bricks with landscaping timbers to frame the outskirts of the garden perimeter.  Yellow bricks with redwood posts..very cute...I only have to finish that and then get rock put in the path section and "Vwallah" a finished bare garden!  LOL  I only have 5 Hostas under the two small trees, four Hardy flox, one plant I dont remember the name of with purple flowers, and two Yarrow plants.  Thats it and the garden is about 120ft wide by 75 ft deep.  LOL  Need more plants but the season is almost over!!! And then if we go to California..I wont be here to tend it..sigh!

OK..get this. We bit the bullet and paid almost $300 for satelite equipment.. and $50 a month for service so we could have faster internet.  Well, I left it up to my husband to do all the inquiring as to terms and such..he says he was told one thing and apparently it's not so.  We've only had it for a month and a week.   We have so much trouble getting online!!  So, my husband thought it had to do with not having a strong enough router.  Our speed was the same if not slower then when we had dial up!!  But even after we got the new router $146 later, thank you e-bay cuz it could have been $200+, we still were connecting slower then they said we would be at. And in the evenings I couldnt even connect at all!!  So, finally, I got on the phone about 3 days ago and called the Wild Blue Sattelite co. and asked them what was going on!!! I'm irritated and frustrated that my internet bill has doubled and my service is worse then dialup!  Well, it turns out that they limit your internet usage.  We are only allowed 7,500 mb download and 2,300 mb uplaod per month!  Are you kidding me!!!!!  So, we were in "violation" of our usage terms..which we didn't know about. That meant that our "speed" would decrease and possibly, as we were experiencing, not allow us to use the internet.  So, we have told them that we don't want their crappy limited service when we could get better service unlimited "like my husband says he inquired about from the beginning" through dial up!  They said the "contract" terminaton fees would be the remainder of our 24 mth period x $30.  Over $600!  So, we are in a battle right now over this..and by me being online I'm using up our usage.  Which we have no way of tracking except by using the internet to get onto our account and check into it..LOL  Go figure!!

Well daylight is burning and I've got tons of work to do outside that the two older boys wont do..so weed eating and mowing are my job alone now!!  3 acres!! 

Catcha next time I can get online.

IN His Service!

Today was a hard day for me...it started off like every other day but then at church I just started thinking about how J wasn't there.  Then of course if she was there..how much more would it be in my face that we don't have a relationship anymore.  Then later today we went to the home church we attend..she was there but not a hello..nothing.  Then Tracy started to talk about forgiveness and not holding account of hurts and all from corinthians 13 the Love chapter.. and all I could think was I've extended my hand to her several times during these last few months and yet...nothing.  Well, i thought that maybe we were getting somewhere (a little) but one day she came over to see if she could take the kids to the movies the three little ones.  And she couldn't cuz we were busy as a family..but she could try the next day.  Well, hubby had to make a scene about it all and just cause drama when there was no need he was just being difficult.  And that's the last she's been over.  I let her take the kids that day regardless of hubby and his attitude.  But, it's stuff like that that makes it so hard to mend any fences or bridge a gap with her to the point of her wanting to be my daughter again.  Also, it's hard when the family that we home church with is in town cuz then she just ignores me and spends all her time with their boy...I just miss my daughter!!!!!!  I've so wanted to cry all day today, but havent been able to because everyone is around and no time to myself..i thought about going to a friends house just to cry on her shoulder..but she has family visiting, another has a house full of kids and hubby which she needs time with, and another was just not available.  I guess since the little ones are in bed and hubby and two older ones are downstairs watching Kong  this is my time..I hate to cry..I know it probably makes us feel better in the end..but i don't like to be out of control of myself and when i let the tears start I feel like I can't control them. 

I wish this didn't hurt so bad...i tried so hard to always do right by her...which i think I did...i did everything as much according to what the Lord wanted as I could..but I guess the influence of outsiders and hubbies issues were too much for me to overcome...and then the rebellion and I have to stand on the side of purity and holiness..only to have the cost be my first child.  I held a little baby girl at church today...it felt so good..but I guess it really didnt help..cuz i remember holding her to me and how wonderful it felt.  How do I get from this place i'm in to the place that everyone is telling me to be?  Forgiveness..if we would even have a relationship to be in that wouldnt be too hard..but there's nothing..isn't there anyone who can tell me what to do to make this all go away????????

I remember when they were in public school and spent all that time away from me..we lived and co-existed together but the closeness wasn't anything like we have when we homeschool our kids and just poor ourselves into them.  I remember feeling those feelings of dread when summer vacation was upon us..all summer with the kids...ugh.  But, that all changed when we began to homeschool.  I loved having my children around and felt so close to them.  Maybe homeschooling them from early on and really keeping outside influence down to almost nothing is the answer to not being rejected by your children or maybe it's the opposite.  Put them in PS during their High School Yrs. because they are going to walk away from you anyway might as well have 4 yrs to get ready for it as they choose to spend all their time with their friends from school.  And maybe we should let them just date away and if something happens then it's their problem, it's their choice, its their relationship with God, not mine, thats on the line..I mean it's bound to be easier when you don't have as close of a relationship with your kids through those years..or think you do when really they tell you you don't.  Maybe that's it..raise them up in His way until they reach high school age then just let them go.  It sounds easier..less c hance of getting hurt so deeply that you feel as if a part of you is missing/dead. 

Son-J is that age..next year he'll be in High school.  Should I send him on his way?  I know he won't want to go to public school.  He's the only one who has voiced wanting to stay away from it.  But, what if I lose him too?  And the second one..don't get me started..he's so jumbled in his mood swings and so strong headed about something he wants that  I feel as soon as he turns 18 he's gone too.  Not in the healthy relationship keeping way either.  In the same way i've lost my first child.  Broken.  I

I'm gathering myself together again...can't let them see my red face..then the questions come..and I cant really say the truth about how I feel or how I see things as they've taken place..cuz then I have a whole new set of woas from hubby. 

Please just pray for me if you think about it.  I could use some relief from Him, some way out of this, to become whole again. 

Well, my rantings of homeschooling will go unnoticed again...:)  After further review the blog is fictitional..although someone has to be producing the entries..it's about giving to charities that they have listed by joining the Microsoft I'm and e-mail community.  Anyway, maybe some of you will still like my response..or not?

I'm so tired this morning..we went to the movies last night and saw Wanted rated R and very well rated it is.. hubby and two oldest boys wanted to see it..don't go see it.  It's about assasins so of course there will be killing and action in it but there was tons of cursing and a little angelina joelie(sp?) nudity (but not bad) and in the beginning bad bad stuff.  So, anyway, we left and I dropped my cell phone unknown to me at the time.  About 15-20 min later halfway home I realized my mistake and we high tailed it back just in time before the next showing to find it wedged behind and under the seat.  Then we get home to find a chicken carcass in front of the old shed.  Upon further examination we had three chickens safely roosting up ontop of their cage in their house/shed with more feathers inside showing a chicken being dragged out of the shed to it's presumable death.  Didn't find it.  No sign of 6 other chickens.  #7 was the already discovered body.  Called and called but no other chickens came to greet me.. buried the poor chicken in the woods and locked up the shed for the night.

This morning, woke up at 7am and couldn't go back to sleep.  Went to look for more signs of death or life.  Found the carcass of a white chicken out by the driveway we had missed upon coming home last night.  Buried it.  Then continued to call and look for more.  Found the one that had been dragged out of it's shed, maybe even nesting box,  after laying the one egg that was in there.  Buried it.  Then to my amazement a single red sexlink comes quietly out of the woods and comes to me..then the second red sexlink.  My chest swelled with motherly relief as they appeared safe and unharmed physically..although who knows what went on in their little pea sized brains last night.  So, I fed them as usual and as I was collecting the three eggs found inside here comes an americauna (green egg layer) from the other side of the woods..sigh..even more relief.  But, one chicken is still missing and unaccounted for.  Where is she?????????? That leaves us 6 chickens out of the 12 we started with last year.  It was obvious it was a dog that did the deed...coyotes would have taken the blessed meal with them not just killed and left it. This dog (if it returns) will also meet its fate.  So, no more selling of eggs we'll probably only have enough for our family and tithes now. 

Maybe I'm not cut out for this farm stuff. How can I get attached to chickens?!  I can't stand the way they smell or pick on each other..but I enjoy them following me around like puppies when I am outside working.  They'll just let us pick them up anytime and are real nice to us and us to them.  I've been on my husband to help me build a chicken run for them onthe side of their shed so if I'm not gonna be home to watch them I know they are safely inside the cage and can go inside their shed through a small chicken sized door if safety is needed.  He keeps putting it off. I guess I'll need to go out there and begin the process myself before he'll come and Help so "it's done right".  Much like everything else that needs to be done around here.  Do I really want more animals?  And animals that are to be eaten by us?  Maybe that's the difference.  These chickens aren't our food they supply our food.  You think?  I'm much too soft hearted. 

Did I tell any of you about my tooth mishap?  Of all things, I was in the bathroom flossing like a good girl when I pulled the floss up and out of the lower back side and I hear this "*****" sound as something hits the mirror and lands on the counter.  (sorry if too graphic but it really happened this way)  I pick it up to find a piece of my tooth!  It's only about the size of a small nail head but big enough to leave a hole between my two molars in the back.  I call the dentist immediately, left a message as to the importance, no call back that day.  So the next day I called back again, got someone this time and they can't get me in till July 10th !!!!!  What is wrong with that picture??!!  So, now I'm using this putty stuff I found at Walgreens to temporarily fill the little hole and have to replace it every day and a half approx. maybe sooner until I can get into the dentist.  What really stinks is I've trained myself to eat primarily on the left side due to a lost tooth, lower molar, on the right side that we never had the money to bridge the gap for.  I hate it, but, if no one can see it or will ever know unless told why spend the money when all my other teeth are intact.  Anyway, it's very annoying to have a hole in your tooth and trying to keep all food on a side you're not used to eating on.   

Ok, gotta lot of grading to do and painting for the hubby.  Bye

Has anyone ever e-mailed or responded to columnists who put out a column that you really had a lot to say about?  I never have!!!  Until today...a friend sent me an interesting column that went over the internet from some sort of I'm Initiative by Microsoft.  Never heard of it before..but it was on the subject of homeschooling threatening the culture of everyone else...blah blah.  Anyway, I just had to reply by sending an e-mail to this person..was I right to do this..only God knows, but it felt good saying these things to someone who may or may not have a dim view of "us".  The column wasn't really geared toward smashing our choices but the contrasting comparisons used kinda irqued me..I'm gonna share this with you all too just so I don't just lose it in the E-mail universe never to be heard of again.  I will let you know if this columnist actually gives feed back of any sort..probably won't though most columnists want to speak, not listen or dialogue.  Well, here it is......let me know what you think.

I read your column via another homeschooler..interesting thoughts..most are accurate..the stereotyping of homeschoolers appearances/family structure is a bit much but in the case that you were using that as your basis of comparison of the "different cultures" understandable...(we are, as many are, not quite that serene in our public appearances or as outdated as you depict).  In fact, we were just out in LA in April and saw a pic of a homeschool group and the kids were quite your typical "looking" teenagers/children. 

As we live out in Kansas in the "country setting" we would I suppose be assumed to follow your criteria of a homeschool family. Oh to the contrary.  Our children are in fact for the most part great kids..but rebellion, wanting to die their hair black and wear black eye liner and black clothes, not scoring the highest on assessment tests in every subject, putting a price tag on behavior/actions or driving mom frazzled as she tries to accomplish her tasks for the day are quite the norm in our household/family.  Yes, we homeschool to try to give our kids the opportunity to achieve their potential as individuals not driven by society's expectations but by their own drives and ambitions.  Trying to leave our posterity a future heritage with morals intact is our goal in life as parents.  Can this be guaranteed? No. But, we can only do as all parents do, give what we can and prepare them to move into society to make thier mark as we all have.  Rejection of the mainstream culture? Yes, to a certain extent. Each has their own level of rejection.  Even I, as a country homeschooler, long for the serenity portrayed by your picture of "us".  Maybe my level of rejection needs to be raised in order to acheive this serenity, but for now I am where I am and the kids ranging from 18 to 6 are thriving in their own individuality as dad and I learn to embrace and survive each personality.

I have faced the hostility from 17 yr old kids as well as the 55 yr old American citizens for preferring homeschool education to the mind numbing drone of public school.  It always amuses me to have the young get so worked up about the well being of my children socially when they have not had the 5am hockey games, the two times per week ballet classes with recitals, two times per week church activities, spending the night over with friends, homeschool group days (social and educational venues)every week, not to mention all the short notice things that kids throw at you to deal with because they have no children...and the public educator..don't get me started (by the way I did cave and let the two oldest experience public school which lastest no longer then 2 yrs.before I pulled them out amidst lying and sneaking to do as their peers encouraged against their parents boundaries) when I'm told that "well, I didn't mark that wrong because I could see she got the concept for that algebra problem but just had a math error", it raises my concern even more about the education of my children.  I would love to say "well, I didn't turn my kid in for vandalizing your car because I could see that she understood that what she did was wrong she just had a momentary error in judgement."  We are taught so many things in the rules of life and society in all the simple acitivities of even our academic education.

I shudder when I hear the horror stories of people who have used homeschooling as a cover for such hideous acts of barbarism and abuse and it causes concern to me, as a concerned citizen, for the protection of our children.  But, I hear even more stories of horror happening to children who have been placed under the protection of the state whether it be riding a bus to or from school, being in school or living in foster care after being taken out of harms way from the parent who may (or may not) have caused harm to a child.  So is the term "Witch Hunt" appropriate when it comes to outsiders deciding to be the "voice" for other's children when those children actually speak for themselves and tell you they want to be homeschooled and live with their family? Yes. 

Homeschool Mom from Kansas 

Well, I'm not feeling as discouraged as before..nothing has changed but my feelings..but at least I'm not feeling as though the world is on fire and I'm backed in a corner. 

Son-C is still working in the garden.  He's made progress with his work..the garden is taking shape and not over flowing with weeds and grass.  Now, whether that is helping him to not "want" to steal is a mystery only God knows the answer to.  All I know is we are doing what He directs in His Word..Ephesians..Let him who steals, steal no more but instead let him labor hard with his hands that which is good...I figure he'll learn to hate gardening or really love it..

No new news on the situation with my oldest daughter..she is enjoying her new found independence in her apartment.  If only she was in this apartment the way God wanted her to be in it instead of doing it her way, in rebelion and breaking relationship with us(parents)..I wonder if she will ever have any discipline from Him about all this or not?  Anyway, I continue to hold out my hand in love in small ways to her..but it is very difficult..I am still keeping my feelings locked up and we are pretty distant as far as relationship..but I'm doing what I personally can and then only with His help.

We are almost at the point now to where we can sit down and decide whether we are going to be able to afford to go to California.  I'm so torn about it myself.  On one hand I want to give my son the opportunity to find out if this is truly what he wants to do..and what God wants him to do.  But, on the other, I really like where my life is right now getting on with our little farm and trying to become as self sufficient as we can. I know this time with J will be limited as he grows up and moves on in 4/5 yrs. And I want so much to help him on his journey toward manhood and career choice.  If acting is what he wants and he seems to be making headway in it I want to be there during thebeginnings of it to help guide him spiritually so that even in this industry he will be strong in his faith and relationship with God no matter where he goes in it.

I've enrolled son-B in the fall college courses in the community college.  $705 for two classes (and one two week class that is mandatory)! Ouch!  Then the next semester.  But, as with son-J I want to help B get on with his future.  He now has his first car. Pontiac Grand Am..he loves it.  Its a '99 with 156,000miles but what do you expect living in the country. We are getting new front tires and an alignment done today . Oh and an oil change.  Well they called and said that his tie rods are shot in front so that means $600 total today for his car to get fixed. But,like I told him that's a safety issue and can't be ignored.  It's expensive to own a car sometimes.  It still needs a new blower motor for the AC to work and he has to get the tinting off the front windows cuz it's illegal.  So, those are future repairs he'll have to save for. 

We are gonna be looking into getting satelite internet so we can have access to more online stuff.  Especially education wise.  I am a member of the homeschool buyers co-op (you can find it online, its free membership) and they have explode the code online. I'd really like to be able to get a subscription to that for each of the little ones.  It tracks the progress and moes them on if they are ready and if not it puts them back into the level they need to be. It's not cheaper then buying the books for $5 from rainbow resource, but it does free up my time.  And I wanted to try the Aleks math online for J.  Neither of these things is possible with dial up..we have to have faster speeds to run the programs.  We are looking into Wild Blue..it's 1/2 the price on equipment (free instalation) and monthly compared to Hugh's Net.  I'm not sure what it is with Dish in comparison for equipment/installation..but almost the same for monthly.  So, I think we'll have to bite the bullet in order to use the programs online. Plus, if son-B wants to take online courses he'll be able to do it at home instead of going to town to use the library as he does now.  Not to mention we have three new laptops that all have Vista (yuck) and vista isn't compatible with dial up anyway.  So, we can't even use them online from home.  I'm doing this entry in town with free internet access at a bookstore.  Thank you Hastings! 

All three little ones are done for the year with school!!!Yeah! I've already disenrolled the two little boys.  Now I can disenroll the girl.  I'm just waiting for son-J and son-B to finish with their schoolwork now.  Daughter -J is done with her work on time..so now I need to grade everything and get her a transcript ready and give her her diploma.  A homeschooler's work is never done..summer vacation..what's that???

Well, it's almost 2pm and B's car is still not ready.  We've been in town since 8:30am..we need to eat lunch so I guess it means we need to head out and get something here.  And leave my free internet access..sigh..well for those who have been praying for me and my drama of a life Thank You.  I covet all your prayers and ask God for Wisdom in this life and Growth Spiritually so that I lean on Him more and stop falling apart so easily..

In His Service

This whole year has been such a stressful time with the new children and with our 3 older ones.  With the older one leaving home (read previous blogs) the way she did I just haven't been the same.  I find myself more distant from the rest of the family.  Even with my husband, I knew that staying with him could possibly mean eventually having broken relationships with my children but I never felt the Lord telling me it was OK to leave.  Then he came to accept the Lord into his life and for a while things changed, I had hope that we could actually make it as a family.  But, after the hurt we went through from the churches we went to he changed.  I know that he now knows the Truth ,the Way but he has slipped right back into his old ways of dealing with stress and creating conflict.  Which is part of what led to J leaving the way she did.  But, I don't negate that her rebelloiusness was also a contributing factor in it all..I can but leave it in God's Hands to work out both of these issues and bring about repentance from both.

Now the older one J has moved out of the home she had run to and is in an apartment with a friend she works with and her friends brother.  Which is really yet another smack in the face because that's basically what we were trying to move her toward (the right way without rebellion and breaking our relationship).  But, she said she "couldn't afford to pay rent here at home", which I knew was her pride and rebellion.  Now, all of a sudden she can afford to pay $300 or more a month in rent.  Then she went to garage sales to buy things for the apartment.  Yet another slap in the face..just another part of her life that I am left out of..it really hurts. 

Well, now I have to deal with the middle small child C-boy  lying and stealing.  This behavior has been going on all year but the stealing part has progressed to the point of having to pat him down before we leave stores now and searching his room and drawers for anything that comes up missing.  Although he's getting better at hiding the stolen merchandise we've still been able to find them..then he lies throughtout the whole ordeal even after we find the items.  He shows no remorse for any bad behavior.  Causing pain to his little brother doesn't even get an eye blink as he watches on as we tend to the wounds.  It's very frustrating!!!!  Saturday, we found the egg money missing off the hutch, we kept it in one of the cups on the second shelf.  His sister reminded us of him and her dusting Friday.  So, we asked him where the money was...lies..then told him if he brought it to me he would be spared the spanking for stealing.  He left and brought it back.  Spared the spanking but now what do we do???? I called the police shop and asked if they could help with a little scared straight senario for little boys who steal, they don't do that anymore.  We would have to get SRS/CPS involved.  I don't want the state involved, I just need some help with a boy who has a heart of stone and doesn't think of anyone else but himself.

I know this stems from a severe sin nature within him and I am in the process of trying to get scripture memory a part of his every day life..church and discussion just isn't enough for him.  This will be the only other course of action I know to take for such a child.  I know from experience that a strong sin nature (as I had it and my oldest middle son had/has it) has only two courses to follow choice of destruction or salvation from the Word of God. 

Please be praying with us.  With me.

Casondra

Being back feels good, but now I feel stressed for time and organization.  If this California thing is really gonna take place I need to get this place organized and ready to be used by hubby and #1 son B. 

So much to do and so little time.  Especially with the three little ones still giving issues with schoolwork.  I've been able to finish M's kindergarten program with the virtual school.  He's done..but I don't want him to forget about everything till next year so I'm still having him do math and phonics.  Son C is done with math but needs to finish with spelling, reading and history/S.S.  Which isn't too much just getting him to cooperate and finish.  Daughter C is still about a month or two behind in her schoolwork..the virtual school due date to be done is June 23.  Hopefully she can get it done.  Son J is only doing math through them and 5th grade level (he's in 8th) he's at fractions and struggling like always.  I'm hoping that this is his year for developing the understanding of the concepts so he can move on to Algebra.  He's pretty discouraged with his lack of "getting it".  #1 son B is set to begin college courses for next year so he won't be going with us to LA..although sometimes I wonder if he should just to make sure that him and dad don't get into it.

Anyway, so many decisions and so little time and $.

Well, for those of you who don't already know...we are in California.  I'm using my laptop and I have high speed wireless at the hotel..something not available out in the country where we live..I Like. 

Anyway.  This trip is replacing a trip meant to visit family out in TX.  Luckily, I have an uncle in CA so it makes it worthwhile too.  This trip is for our 14 yr. S-J.  Who is meeting with Avalon Artists Group an agency who wants to represent him.  They do TV,Movies, Commercials and Commercial Print.  So, he'll have plenty of work interviews in all the feilds to hopefully begin working and creating a  good portfolio.  Then we have another meeting with Archetype who is a management group.  Different from an agent..more invested and personal.  They will help also to groom him for 2-5 years depending on J's improvement in the business.  This whole thing is great for J, but not so great for us as a family.  It is/will change our lives at least for the next 4-5 yrs. till he's 18 or so.  Then, we might be able to return to normal life as a family.  My husband won't, most likely, get a transfer out here to LA.  He'll stay in KS while me and J and the three little ones (our newely adopted) go to LA.  The cost of living here is astronomical!!! I dont know why people want to or how they can live here.  To find a place to live that we can afford without selling out in KS is very disheartening...  My hope is to keep the farmstead in KS so we can visit every  few months or so while Lee's mom comes to stay with J.  She will be such a blessing in that way. 

So, many decisions and no quick and easy answers that's for sure.

Well, gotta go.  Time to get ready for our meetings.

In His service!!

Sounds like a store sale doesn't it?  But, no, it's my life.  Most of it is good news but it leaves me panting for breath! 

We just had our phone consultation with the Foster Mother and the SW in Texas.  Everything went well.  We have e-mails and phone numbers.  We even got to talk to the children for the first time!!  My DH had to work but I taped the whole thing for him so he could hear their voices and what they said.  It was pretty weird talking to someone you don't know but are going to be their parents.  D/C felt the same, but we had her giggling a lot, so that's a good sign.  (She reminds me of my dear neice D whom I love as my own child. I usually refer to her as my first child).  S/C was a hoot.  He reminds me of our middle son B when he was on the phone.  He was walking around looking at things and talking about them and getting his ideas for conversation..too funny.  He's also very determined that he will be with his "New Family" for his B'day April 27th when he will turn 7.  Little M was harder to get to talk cuz of his age, just now5, but we still were able to talk a bit.  He got a new green bike for his B'day Feb 8th.  S/M and D/C didn't "refer" to us at all so I wasn't sure how to reference ourselves with them.  But S/C was calling us mommy and daddy the whole time.  So, I asked him if they wanted to call us mom and dad or by our names for now.  He said he wanted to call us mommy and daddy, C wanted to just call us mom and dad and M wanted to call us mommy and daddy too.  I asked if they had talked about it together and he said, yes. So, we are mom and dad or mommy and daddy now.  The really exciting news is that we are going to visit them for a weekend the beginning of Mar.!! 

So starts the March madness for me.  We'll get back Monday morning and then have to leave again that Thurs. to drive to Kentucky for my mother in laws B'day.  Then when we get back SB and I (unless I decide to send him with his partners family) are going to MO for a debate tournament.  In the meantime between all this we have to fit in doctors appt., orthodontist appt., working on the rooms, school, update our homestudy and before we leave for Kentucky I have to have my mother in laws digital scrapbook done and put on DVD with music. 

Some good news is that we finally found the locker room style twin bunk beds that we've been looking for and couldn't find, even online.  It was in a new Sears catalog that we got in the mail Thurs.  YIPEE! They had nice comforter sets too that I may get for DC's room, although I didn't see any daybed comforters.  But, I guess that doesn't really matter. 

So, in closing until at least Mid March cuz we are gonna be busy,  please pray for a great visit with the kids and safe traveling mercies from the Lord In March.  God Bless All.

It's already Feb. and Valentine Day is next week.  I'm getting ready for the group party, I think I'm organized.  I'm home alone this morning due to not feeling well and my DH is at church with the kids.  Not too much is going on with the adoption.  We finally got the papers we've waited a month and a half for it took us about 3-6 hours to read through it all.  Now, we have to wait for the SW in Texas to call our SW back to schedule our "phone presentation". This has taken a week of waiting so far.  Such simple things to do and yet the Sw can't seem to find the time to get to it.   I know we aren't the only family she's dealing with probably either, but come on.

I was really bad yesterday and spent a few hours by myself at a mall.  I invited the oldest boy but he wanted to play video games and the younger one wasn't up until I was ready to leave. My daughter was gone at 6am for work related classes in a nearby town.  So, it was just me all by myself.  A little boring I think, but at least I didn't have to think of anyone else being bored or not.  I picked up a new jacket with rabbit fur on it ( my daughter is very mad about that) on sale from $70 to $27.  Then picked up a pair of high knee boots on sale from $70 to $20 and then another pair of high ankle boots from ($70 retail) $40 discounted to $15.  And to begin my day at the mall I got a full set of nails put on.  Oddly enough when I got home I took a power nap I was so tired.  I never did find the perfect purse though.  Guess I'll keep looking.

Our day ended with the family going out to dinner and a movie.  Unattended Minors,  not that bad of a movie.  In relation to movies out there for kids this one I would recommend. 

I haven't made any progress on the new bedrooms yet.  Maybe later today?  We got the torn out wall replaced now I need to mud it .  I think we are gonna go ahead and go with a bunk bed set with a trundle for the boys' room so they have more room to play and an extra bed for company. And I think I've decided to go with a white wooden day bed with a trundle for the girl's room.  I have decided to buy/build a large wooden doll house  for the middle of the bedroom on a turntable stand for C's room.  When she gets here we'll go shopping for doll furniture and dolls to fit.  I love all those houses at Hobby Lobby and all that furniture!!  FUN! 

B has another debate tournament two hours away in two weekends.  Hope they do better this time.  Last month they didn't make it to the semi-finals.  April is the State qualifier for our state.  In March they are gonna go to a state qualifier for another state, for the practice I was told.  At least he likes it, that's what's important.

Next month we are preparing for a trip to Kentucky for my mother in laws 70th B'day.  I hope March isn't snow month for them.  I'd like to enjoy outdoor time there.  Too bad we won't have the beautiful green, the kids have never been through Kentucky before. 

Well, the families home and I need to get dressed for a meeting in a couple of hours. 

I don't usually mind the winter weather as long as I don't have to go anywhere.  Which I usually make sure happens.  I only pray for the electricity to hold out since our fireplace is on the fritz still and for safe traveling mercies for my DH.  Unfortunately, this year my prayers weren't heard for some strange reason God allowed Lee to get into a car accident on the last day of his working overnight schedule.  He has worked from 11pm-6/7am on Sunday nights/Monday mornings for the last two years.  He finally got a different schedule for this year starting next Sunday.  He was driving home and says he had green lights so didn't even consider slowing down from 45mph to go through the intersection when out of the corner of his eye he caught a motion.  A big F250 4x4  pulled right in front of him turning left.  He put on the brakes and began sliding sideways (the ice storm and all).  His drivers side hit her passenger side.  All three airbags went off on that side of the car.  He and she were both unhurt (and the two babies she had with her).  No witnesses stayed everyone just left and went on their merry way.  So, now it's her word against his as to whose fault it was.  So, we have to file against our ins. not hers.  We haven't heard yet what the damage is. Totaled or not?  Lee has a rental car now so gladly it won't interfere with our out of town Debate Tournament Jan 26th -27th.  And I thought this paycheck we'd be able to get some of our room/building projects started.  Nope! 

At least he's alright.  God protected him.  Thank you Lord for his safety, next time I'll add the vehicle to that as well.LOL

I'm loosing my school drive again.  My motivation always seems to deplete by the second semester.  But, I've got to stay on the ball!!!  I have to stay focused, that's funny right there, Focused!LOL

I think the added financial strain of the vehicle issues is distracting me.  Where is that Super Mom when you really need her?  I think that's it though, she shows up in times of stress and then leaves.  Hey, I got the laundry done and vacuumed my room and bathroom and moved the chair back into the entry room and bought the material to add to my entryroom curtains.  Somethings were accomplished, just not everything.  Oh where are the hours in a day?

My friend Nikki's blog got me to thinking about New Year Resolutions.  I'm usually so bad about the follow through on them.  I have the desires to do certain things  this year (I won't necessarily call them Resolutions), they are:

1. Serve God to my fullest potential this year.  No getting distracted by Life.

2. Bring my children home!!!!

3.  Get our Cash Consulting Business off and running, make some income.

4.  Make more  family memories.

5. Lose these horrible 25 lbs that have attached to my hips and waist.

6.  Finish school on time (except Math) and finish the Portfolios and transcripts before the next school year begins.

7. Get some debt paid down.

I'm sure more things are gonna pop up this year but these are the most important to me right now. 

Oh, by the way, I have my van back and it wasn't the problem I was supposed to watch for it was anew problem with the ignition switch wire thingy... but, it probably had something to do with my fuelpump going out.  So, it's fixed and hopefully we won't have anymore unexpected expenses come up.

My sJ is finally approved to begin allergy shots!! We've been working toward this for about 4/6 mths now.  The Dr. finally got a blow test that says J is safe to begin.  Praise the Lord!!  Now (after about a year or two) we won't have to hide him inside so much during the Spring, Summer and Fall. 

I started off today, tired.  Didn't sleep well last night then needed to wake up early to watch a friends darling daughter.  Well, on Fridays we drive into Lawrence (35-40 min) for sB's Debate class.  Well, luckily I had to stop by a store in our little town before leaving for Lawrence.  When I got back in the van wouldn't start.  So, after several tries concluded it was the "possible  problem" I was supposed to watch for after the fuel pump assem. was replaced.  So, luckily, my daughter was at work a block away and her car was fixed enough to be functional.  So, off we trekked carseat in tow to her work and asked to borrow her car.  She graciously conceded and begged a ride off a friend to get home cuz we always get home after 5:00pm.   Problem averted for the most part.  Although my van is sitting in front of the Dentist office in town. And don't know for how long.  At least we have one working vehicle to share. 

Thursday, our plumber came over to look at our two water leaks.  Which both appeared to be at each bathroom location.  The first leak found was easily fixed and exactly where I thought it was.  The second still continues to allude us.  We spent 3 1/2 hours looking for the source of the water but couln't find anything!!!  As a last resort, we knew we only had one place left to look and hope it was there.  Behind the wall of the shower and faucet assemblies.  It of course had no access panel to it.  The builders had completely walled it in. So, Lee and I proceded to rip down the portion of wall that exposed the fixture plumbing.  And guess what?  No Leak!!!  Utter amazement and grief!  That room is our guest room right now which I'm getting ready to dismantle to prepare it for our new dC.  Well, now we have a gapping hole and the perfect place for mice to run into the house freely.  Not to mention dJ's room which is where the leak was leaking into.  She has a gapping hole in her "ceiling" with black plastic and insulation hanging.  Tomorrow, I'll have to do what I can to fix that at least.  A dead mouse fell in the plumbers face when he was tearing it up, hopefully there aren't any living that will fall into J's room.  I did feel great about the opportunity to put a container of poison under the tub though.  :) 

Just so everyone knows, I started blogging cuz I thought it would be therapuetic.  And, it has been for me. 

When you go back and read what you've written and what you haven't it helps put you back on track sometimes.  Like:

Our dJ has been thinking about her college options and how with the math requirements she may never be accepted into college.  So, she has been trying to come up with more creative ways and possibly cheaper ways to get where she wants to go regardless of her weaknesses.  I'm proud of her and that she's at least trying to problem solve.  Then, a parents joy, she suprised us by showing some maturity in her life/decisions.  For a long time now the kids have been involved with a youth group, even after we withdrew from it due to an unhealthy atmosphere there.  Well, J tells us over lunch that she thinks she won't return to the group.  When asked why that was, because everytime we tried to instruct the kids that that was probably the wise choice considering the unhealthiness of it spiritually we got dirty looks and a determination that it wasn't that bad, she basically came to the conclusion that she wasn't growing spiritually from it and that everyone involved (youth to adult) were either immature or just didn't know how to relate to teens/young people.  Without jumping for joy we just listened and gave encouragement to her.  Finally, the age of a little reason and logic has come into the life of our firstborn.  Now, we just need to be patient and pray for the other two. 

Prayer.  HMMMMMMMMM.  Where has that been these last few days?  Yes, I've prayed, but I haven't really PRAYED.  My house needs to be covered in prayers 24/7 and I get lazy.  When I get lazy it shows in many ways.  Mostly my discouragement and feeling like I'm not walking in Power and Victory.  God is more then willing and more then able to handle my Life problems and  pay our bills.  It's in his hands we live every minute of every day and somehow we/I forget that.  How is that possible?  But, I thank the Lord for the opportunity to face these new challenges with His help.  May the Lord forgive me for my unbelief and weakness to the flesh.  Please, pray with me for wisdom and His will to be done in our lives.

Oh WOW!!  We are so happy and a little panic stricken that we will have three more children.  I'm sure after trying and waiting for so long that that's a very normal feeling. 

It's amazing how the enemy will attack when the Lord blesses.  The day after we got the wonderful news, I got a dental bill in the mail for a larger sum then I had thought the care would cost.  Not sure where I'm gonna come up with that one.  Then yesterday, J had my van all day to drive to work, since her car is undrivable.  She pulls up in the driveway, then I assume my hubby sked her to go pick me up, cuz they tried to start it again and it wouldn't start.  I won't go into details, but my hubby was stressed.  So, we grabbed our wonderful mechanically inclined neighbor and found out that the fuel pump went out and that our vehicle is one of the newer vehicles that the company started putting the fuel pump attached to other parts of the vehicle so that you can't just replace the fuel pump for $50 you have to replace the entire part (even though it's not all broke) for $256.  Plus the labor we'll need to pay our neighbor for fixing it.  Then, today as my hubby was showering for work the boys and I were downstairs in the basement mudding and sanding some walls.  I noticed in the back part of the basement while getting fresh mud that there was a little water puddle in the middle of the concrete floor.  Upon further investigation it looks like we have some type of water leak coming from our shower.  That's a plumbers call there.  Plus, the $140 we need to pay for the security checks on the kids and ourselves.  Plus, the $925 for our oldest son to get into braces the middle of Feb.  Plus, the $140 to pay for the internet service for the next 6 mths.  (dial up of course).  Let's not forget, the $199 ( I believe) to renew our vacation club membership.  And the approx. $150 I'll need to pick up debate/speech for the next semester and a new elective for J. I feel like I'm forgetting something, Oh yes, taxes will need to be done. I believe that's been running about $250.  Just how are people supposed tp start up businesses when all their money is constantly comsumed from Life?  That's frustrating me also. 

Homeschooling:  Well, let's just say that my children must have their mother's genes when it comes to math/science.  Little sJ has failed 7th grade math.  My dJ has a D or F as well. And my sB is about the same as dJ.  I can't take the tests for them.  I help them with the lessons and make sure they can do it and figure it out, but they aren't retaining.  Little sJ has started his math issues in 5th grade a lot sooner then the other two did.  I have a bad feeling it's really genetic and there is nothing that can be done until that part of the brain is developed.  Which for me took till my 20's.  That's not going to help them get into college!  After using many different curriculums and teaching math as many creative ways as a person can I think I am resigned to failure in this area.  But, they still have to do math.  I can't just let them stop.  It'll definitely look bad on their transcripts. But, won't an F look worse?

Too bad I can't blame this on Public School.  It's all me, I'm afraid.  But, better to know your weaknesses and try to overcome them then be led to believe you're doing great and passing math.

Praise God!!!  The  staffing for the sibling set of three, ages 8-G, 6-B, and 4-B, was a success!!!!!  We are now the proud TO-BE parents of three children.  I have to admit that I wasn't really as into it as I was the last time.  In fact after receiving the additional information on the children I was even a little leary IF this would be a good match.  So, we sent our SW into the meeting with all of our questions and he came back with great answers that put our minds at ease with the bonus news that they picked us to be the Forever Family!!  These children have only been in the system since Jan. 2006.  Abandonment at home, I still wonder if they have even found the mother.  The children are very well adjusted considering their horrible beginings.  No special needs.  No medications to have to worry about or consider having to wean them off of.  It's actually, a Perfect Match.  Now, we have to try for the homeschool waiver.  That too is in God's hands. 

We are going to start filling out the KBI and SRS checks on the kids and us next week and they'll hopefully have them done by the end of Jan., ours is expired in Feb. anyway, so it can't hurt to do it all at once  (although a friend told me if I hand deliver them and ask them to expidite them due to it being for an adoption, it might go a little faster).  So, other then that, we will have to wait on the children's SW to send us the paperwork for us to look over and any that needs to be filled out.  Just to be realistic I won't anticipate having the children home until after May.  But that's OK.  We have some things to try to secure and finish up down in the basement.  Then we have to (which is my favorite part) decorate and get the upstairs rooms ready.  This also means, to all who plan to visit, we now have no guest room.  But, that's OK we will figure out other sleeping arrangements for guests.  I have ideas on that already!

 This is probably the best Christmas Gift God could have given Lee and I since the birth of our son J!!!

Merry Christmas to all!!