Written about my 6th child:

I cannot believe she is 10 months old already!  It truly seems like just yesterday I was finding out in the wee hours of the night I was expecting her!  Here is her story requested by many of my online friends.  She is a major part of our testimony for the Lord.

It was about two o'clock in the morning.  I had taken several pregnancy tests in the past couple of weeks (all negative), not necessarily because I thought I was pregnant but because I was fearful that I was. 

I had only been out of the hospital, after coming very close to losing my life, two weeks.  I was still struggling to walk and couldn't see clearly.  On top of all of this our baby at this time was only 4 months old!

So at this dark hour, when the rest of the house was quiet, I took another test and it was positive.  There it was.  What I hoped was not happening was happening.  Please do not get me wrong.  I wasn't dissapointed about another life being gifted to me, although I was feeling quite inadequate in this moment to have another baby so soon.  The main reason I was fighting this was because of the many drugs I had been on during and after my illness. 

I had had a pregnancy test done in the doctor's office some time before this night and since it was negative my doctor okayed me continuing with my medications for treatment of my illness.  I was terrified now that by doing so my baby had been harmed.  I really wrestled with God at this time asking Him a lot of Why's and telling Him this didn't make any sense at all.  I knew He would never give me more than I could handle and that He had my in the palm of His hand but....well there were a lot of buts....

By the time I crawled into bed I had resolved the issue with the Lord, trusting Him to care for it all.  My sleepy husband rolled over and asked me if everything was all right.  I told him I didn't know but that we were going to be blessed again in 7 more months.  He wrapped his arms around me and said, "we can do this honey".  And we both went to sleep.

The pregnancy was very hard.  For the next 4 months I was so sick I could hardly stand upright.  I spent even the nighttime hours up sick.  I was getting vitamin shots as part of the treatment of my "morning" sickness and by the time my doctor stepped in and decided it was time to put a stop to it the Lord took it away Himself. 

I had about a month of feeling really great.  Things were looking up and I was getting excited about a new addition to our family.  Things went downhill again as I started to labor prematurely.  I was bleeding off and on and started to fear again for the baby's life.  I was on bedrest off and on and we felt great relief when we got to 37 weeks when we didn't have to worry quite as much any more.

In my 37th week my labor really picked up and after four days of it I was exhausted.  It was off and on and wasn't progressing at all.  I went to see my midwife and she told us the baby had turned breech.  She attempted to turn the baby but to no avail.  We saw a professional who specializes in turning breech babies still to no avail.  After much prayer we knew we needed to get to a hospital.

It was there in the hospital that we were left with the decision to try a normal birth with the baby being breech or to opt for a cesarean.  I cannot explain what I felt in my spirit.  Never in a million years would I have gone for a cesarean unless I was told it was life and death.  Still, I felt that is the choice we needed to make.

I was taken in for the cesarean and there our daughter was born into this world, lifeless and blue.  Her shoulders had gotten hung up and it was difficult for the doctors to get her out.  I kept asking why I couldn't hear her crying but the staff kept telling me everything would be all right.  Finally I heard her faint cry and later learned she had to be recussitated.

And what of the decision we made to have a cesarean.  God knew that it was a matter of life and death.  Our daughter had one foot in the birth canal and the other foot up by her head.  Her cord was presenting and down under her one foot.  When my water would have broken the cord would have flushed, leaving her little chance of survival.

When we named her we named her a name meaning God is Gracious.  For in those dark night hours when I was so afraid of the future ahead of me God held me.  He held our baby and He proved Himself Gracious!  I only have praise on my lips!