Yes, I have been asked before why I have so many children.  Truth is I always have a hard time NOT laughing when asked this because I do not feel like I have that many children.  I have friends who have many more children than I do!  Yet, I know in this world it is not the "norm" to have 6, almost 7 children.  According to professionals, I wasn't even supposed to be able to have children....so today; I thought I would share my story. 

I was a sickly child and teenager.  By the time I was 17 I had suffered numerous infections, finally leading to a necessary uterine surgery.  After the surgery my mother was told that due to extensive scar tissue (from the infections and then the surgery) it was not likely I would ever conceive a child. 

When I learned of this news, I was devastated.  I was the girl who grew up with big dreams.  Dreams of climbing a corporate ladder?  No.  My dreams were to be a mother.  I remembering at one time telling my mother of my dreams to be a wife, mother of many children (both adopted and by birth) and live on a big farm.  She told me to take that dream and write a letter to the Lord about it.  That is what I did.  So, when I was faced with this shattering dream, I went on the run. 

I left home at 17, after graduating high school early.  I moved 1,000 miles away from home and became very career oriented.  I had new dreams.  I would never marry and I would find fulfillment in some successful career.  God had much different plans, but I fought them all the way!  I met a wonderful man, whom I called "friend", and when I felt I might be falling in love I packed up my whole apartment....and prepared to leave.  My wise mother told me over the phone, one night as I sat in the middle of mounds of packed boxes, "You are running.” 

I knew it was true so I told the Lord that if He wanted me to stay He was going to need to provide a place for me to live and find me a new job.  I thought for sure I was still on my way after that prayer.  I had already given my move out notice to my landlords and gave my notice at my job....so; I had no place to live and no job.  I got up the next morning and went to work my last day at my job.  I wasn't there a half an hour when my phone rang.  It was the director of a Christian academy close by wondering if I could come in for an interview!  She said someone highly recommended me for a teaching position there.  I agreed to come in for an interview.

On the way there I found myself wondering what in the world I was doing!  I STILL had no place to live and I was on my way to interview with a woman about teaching a bunch of little kids!  Nevertheless, I went and I got the job.  I went home to a place that was no longer my home.  As I was waiting for friends to come and help me load up my things my phone rang.  It was a friend asking me to come stay with her and her family until I could find a place to live.  I sighed.  God wanted me to stay and He took care of the things that would keep me from leaving.

I spent the next few months working as a preschool teacher and.....falling in love.  The man I was trying to run from just wouldn't let me run and not many months later, we were married.

I thought I hurt over the news of my infertility before, but now that I was married it began to be like a huge knife in my heart.  I ached and ached for a child.  It hurt even more that my husband did not share my despair.  He was content and I was at war within me!  For the next year and a half I was reminded month after month that I might NEVER have a baby of my own. 

One night as my husband was out in the fields working late, I felt I couldn't go on with the terrible ache in my heart.  I remembered our pastor's words from the Sunday before, "take that heartache, write it down and seal it up.  Hold it up high, close your eyes and pray.  Keep praying until the tears come flooding out like never before, until your whole arm aches like the pain in your heart.”  I went and got my pen and paper.  I did just that.  I didn't cry, I sobbed!  That night I didn't beg God to give me my way....I just prayed He would take this burden from me and help me to remember His promise "I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you a hope and a future."(Jer. 29:11

When I was all finished I felt FREE!  I could breathe again and the burden was literally lifted off of my chest.  I knew whatever God decided for my life, it was going to be okay.  I also knew that He was going to help me when my heart hurt at times, if I might never conceive a child of my own.

I mentioned how my husband was content.  He never talked babies.  I knew he really would be okay if we never had a child.  This is why I was completely taken off guard one night when he presented me with an early Christmas gift.  He led me into our living room and stood me in front of a large object covered with a blanket.  I removed the blanket to find a rocking chair.  I looked at him and saw tears in his eyes....he said, "This is for you....to rock our babies in someday." 

We spent the evening talking, for the first time, about children.  I shared my grief with him and he told me he felt God would give us a child.  He read the Bible with me, something he didn't do very often in our first years of marriage together.  We read a story about a wonderful man in the Bible and when we were finished my husband looked up at me and said, "We will name our first son ________" (sorry, don't share names on the net).  My heart was overjoyed, not because I had any feelings we might have a child, but because my husband’s heart was finally with mine!

Three weeks later, on Christmas day, we were visiting my moms.  It was on this blessed day we found out we were going to have our very own baby!!!  Not only a baby....but we knew in our hearts we were having a son!