I am afraid my blog has been a sad little place the past couple of days.  You are getting a real taste of who I am.  I am very passionate about things the Lord weighs on my heart .  When my heart needs to grieve, I have learned to just let it grieve.  When it rejoices, I want to shout it from the mountain tops!  Today I will show a bit of my heart.....the heart I am pouring out before my Lord today......

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Although I am VERY tired this day after caring for the sick little ones through many past nights, I have much rejoicing in my heart, My Lord.

  I have a baby growing within me, now reminding me with it's kicks and wiggles that it is there..very much a part of me.  You know that I know the grief of losing not one, not two, not three but four precious little ones and it is in this great loss that I have learned to just sit back and enjoy my only chance in life to assist YOU in a miracle!  I am not always physically comfortable, but this, too, I have learned is ever so fleeting and will matter VERY little in the end.

So....thank you Lord, this day, for yet another life within me!

I am rejoicing because YOU have held on to me, even in the many times in life when I pulled away from You.  You loved me enough to NEVER let me go!  

Thank you Lord, for never letting me go.

I am rejoicing as the autumn breezes usher in the laughter of my children.  How could I ever feel empty?  Sometimes we just need to open our eyes, look in front of us and then we would see, "I, the Lord your God, LOVE YOU!" all over the place.

Thank you, Lord, for the ways you reveal your love to me....through the kicks and wiggles of my baby, through the autumn breezes and laughter of my children, through the needy toddler hanging on my leg, through the baby waking me in the night, through the husband who works so hard to provide for us AND loves us in his own special ways, through the friends who have been by our side through so many trials.....YES, everywhere I look today I see that You do, indeed, love me and you are INTIMATELY acquainted with my heart, my life and the things that I love!

There will always be praise upon my lips for you My Lord!

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What we are up to today.....

I am run down physically today, as I have caught the cold my children have and I am still getting little sleep.  SO, I am taking this day to just make it a fun, fall day.  After this refreshing time of writing :), I am going to bake some cookies, make some hot apple cider, light the candles and we are pulling out our Fall decorations.  We don't have MANY fall decorations, so it won't be that big of a task.  It will be enough, though to be a wonderful treat for my family.

As I write, the babies are tucked in for naps.  My one year old had to be pried away from her daddy, whom was home for the dinner meal.  She cried some when I laid her down, but was so tuckered out from HER long night, she settled down pretty quickly.  I haven't heard a peep since.  I just laid the 2 year old down, looking so precious all bundled underneathe a warm quilt while hugging his own special blankie.

My "older" children are outside building a fort in the woods around our house.  They just came in giving me a list of tools needed that would make it just the perfect thing! :)  I thought I could spare a tarp and portable bunny fence so I gave my okay. :)

We celebrated my oldest son's birthday last week.  He is now eight!  Where, oh where did the time go!?  God has used this child to challenge me and to grow me!  I praise the Lord for his life!

My middle son turns 5 this week!  This is always tough one for me...it marks the end of the "baby days".  He is acting so big now, but still remains such a child, for which I am ever thankful!  He brings so much joy into our home!

I must be off to attend to the small list of things I have for myself to get done today and then it is a "Fall Party" for the children and I. :)

Many blessing friends!