I am back to nesting again. I am very thankful for the bursts of energy I am getting in between those days of extreme fatigue. I just am having this feeling that I need to be bringing complete order to my home now, in preparation for those precious days of rocking a little nursling once again. After losing two more babies since my last birth, I am feeling really ready for this. I feel in my heart that it won't be long, though I certainly hope and pray he/she will wait at least another month!
Yesterday, one of my nesting ventures brought me into the baby room right (which is an actual part of our master bedroom), where my baby girl was taking residence. As I started organizing I just decided to go ahead and make the big move. You know...moving the "baby" for the newest baby. I am a sentimental, emotional type, I guess and it always breaks my heart to make that change. The process itself was fun because my precious little 18 month old was being all big, "helping" her mama move the crib to her sisters' room; but once it was over and I listened to my older girls' delightful squeals after learning baby sister was now in with them, my heart was sad.
I wrote my Mama of this sadness this morning and how the night proved to be a rough one of adjusting for my littlest daughter and I. She wrote me back these words......
Dearest Tina,
:0( Oh, my heart is sad, too, even though I know it is a must for Brielle and the little one on the way. It really must have been hard to know she wasn't in there! On the joyous side, isn't it wonderful to live in a home now where you can feel so good about the actual "baby room" into which you will bring your new little ones? I'm so glad I have been there and seen your new home, as now when I think of all of you, I imagine what you are doing and where you are in the house. I picture the little ones lying in their beds each night all safe and sound.
How blessed I was to be reminded of what it was really like moving babies around in the past. Living in our old home was difficult and often so very heart wrenching. You can read about this home testimony on my blog. She was right! For the first time I am moving a baby, knowing they are breathing safe, fresh air! For the first time I am bringing a baby home, knowing it's tiny little breaths will be full of safe, fresh air! Once again I am reminded to be thankful, even when something hurts. I can look back and remember how much it hurt to live in that old home and some how the hurt of closing another chapter in my life, such as this, seems to overflow with many more blessings to be remembered!
Thank you Mama!
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Dec. 8, 2006 - Untitled Comment