| This has been a very dark time in my life. You know, the kind that makes just rising each morning to begin another day extremely difficult. I have taken what energy I have each day, pleading with the Lord to deliver me. Sometimes, though He allows us to walk this road in order to bring us to the point where He and He alone is whom we are leaning upon....not ourselves, not our spouses, children, friends or church, but Him. He also knows, when the light eventually shines again and washes the darkness away, a new beauty is revealed...something that could have only been manifested in a time of darkness.
My day yesterday ended like many other days of late. I laid in bed, the house dark and quiet, but my soul feeling weary and full of turmoil. My heart began to wrestle, once again, with my God...but before I was to far into my why’s, but how’s, when’s and so on, I felt it was time to give it all up....time to surrender where I was at and give it to God. I asked the Lord to forgive me for wrestling so greatly with Him, and for having so little faith in His power lately. I have been reading the story of George Muller with the children in the evenings. I asked the Lord to forgive my little faith and to grow in me a heart of faith, as that of George Muller. I began my journey of faith in trusting Him in all things concerning me (and my precious husband).
My first prayer of faith was praying, and trusting, that He would provide my sleep deprived, physical being with rest. Not long this prayer, my sick, fitful babies settled into peaceful slumber, as did I. When I awoke this morning I not only realized that I felt rested, but that life wasn’t looking quite as dark as the so many days before.
In the night, I had dream. I was visiting with a friend (a fellow momys :) ). She asked when we would travel to see her and her husband. I told her in these exact words, “When this overwhelming mound of medical bills are paid, the burden of our home loss is lifted and when the Lord provides a vehicle that we can all fit into...OH, AND the extra money to travel! THEN we will come visit you.” She put her hand on mine and said, “Then start praying and expect He will answer.” I told my husband this morning that when God answers these requests one of the first things we must do is go and see this family! He agreed!
My day today isn’t so different, but my perspective is. I am still caring for 7 very sick, grouchy children, the house is still a mess and the reality that I am unable to do it all looms before me BUT God is my God and HE is on the throne!
Just an hour ago He blessed me with a moment to quickly read my devotional (Streams in the Valley). Today’s was as follows:
“And it shall come to pass that whosoever shall call on the name of the Lord shall be delivered.” Joel 2:32
Why do not I call on His name? Why do I run to this neighbor and that when God is so near and will hear my faintest call? Why do I sit down and devise schemes and invent plans? Why not at once roll myself and my burden upon the Lord?
Straightforward is the best runner. Why do not I run at once to the living God? In vain shall I look for deliverance anywhere else, but with God I shall find it! For here I havce His royal SHALL to make it sure.
I need not ask whether I may call on Him, or not, for that word, “Whosoever” is a very wide and comprehensive one. Whosoever means ME, for it means anybody and everybody who calls upon God. I will therefore follow the leading of the text, and at ONCE call upon the glorious Lord who has made so large a promise.
My case is urgent, and I do not see how I am to be delivered, but this is NO BUSINESS of mine! He who makes a promise will find ways and means of keeping it. It is mine to obey His commands, it is not mine to direct His counsels. I am His servant, not His solicitor. I call upon Him and He WILL deliver!~C.H. Spurgeon
Our deliverer is on the way!
I couldn’t help but read on to tomorrow’s devotional! Praise the Lord, His power CAN be trusted in our lives!
“He maketh sore, and bindeth up: He woundeth and His hands make whole.” Job 5:18
As we pass beneath the hills which have been shaken by the earthquake and torn by convulsion, we find that periods of perfect repose succeed those of destruction! The pools of calm water like clear beneath their fallen rocks, the water lilies gleam, and the reeds whisper among the shadows; the village rises again over the forgotten graves, and its church tower, white through the storm twilight, proclaims a renewed appeal to His protection “in whose hand are all the corners of the the earth, and the strength of the hills in His also.”
I pray someone out there is blessed!
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May. 3, 2007 - Untitled Comment
((Hugs)) to you while you take care of your family.
This surely has been a blessing to me. These past few weeks havebeen very trying for me, and I needed to hear that. I'm so happy to see you're back. I've missed reading your blog!! :-)
Love in Christ, Karen