• Saturday, January 5, 2008
Weekly Book Giveaway - Winner!

I have entered many a blog-based giveaway and haven't been the blessed recipient... until now. How exciting! Below is the information about the weekly giveaways. I really enjoy this webiste and Robin Sampson's books. I just received her book "A Family Guide to the Biblical Holidays" for Christmas (I know, a little ironic). But this is all part of the exciting journey on which God is taking us.

 

Heart of Wisdom Blog Contest: A Free Book Random Drawing will be held every Monday through the months of December and January at the Heart of Wisdom Blog. Each week one Heart of Wisdom subscriber will be randomly selected o receive one FREE Homeschool Book or Heart of Wisdom Ebook from Homeschool-Books.com. A new title will be given away each week. Click here to enter.

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• Thursday, July 12, 2007
Spinach Smoothie?!

About a year ago, I read an article in a magazine about making smoothies with spinach and other greens.  I didn't have the tastebuds to try it then, but health points loomed in the back of my mind for a whole year.

So, finally, yesterday I gave spinach in my smoothies a whirl, ha ha, literally!  We really enjoy smoothies - fruit smoothies.  I was not sure how a gorgeous, green concoction would be received by my family, or by me for that matter. 

Into the blender went cucumber, pear, flaxseed (this was yummy enough by itself), and handfuls of bright, green spinach.  Did I mention green is my favorite color?  Anyway, it was beautiful!  It had a very different texture than I am used to with fruity smoothies, but not bad at all.  I found it tasty, but the girls did not.  I am not sure if Delainey could get past the green of it. 

I decided to add a little frozen grape juice for them.  It added to the flavor enough fruity-ness for them to drink it up, but it did nothing for the presentation.  I didn't think through my color wheel first, I guess.  It turned a horrible shade of brown; it was U-G-L-Y!  Daddy wouldn't even try it.  Max took one sip, and that was enough.  But we managed to finsish the pitcher between us girls. 

Next time, I leave it luscious green for me!  But I am on the prowl now for other spinach and/or cucumber blends.... any suggestions?

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• Tuesday, July 3, 2007
A New School Year! New Curriculum!

Wow!  July 1st marked the official beginning to the new school year in Missouri.  That doesn't mean you have to start school on July 1st.  The school year runs from July 1 through June 30. 

I get so excited about curriculum!  There is always something new, or something that I didn't know was out there.  I love to learn about new homeschool options.  Of course, this has its ups and downs.

While endlessly researching homeschooling options can help me make informed decisions about our schooling plan, it can also become overwhelming and inhibit decision-making at the same time.  I love to be able to help connect a person with a recently-learned-about resource that seems to fit their situation to the proverbial "T".  But, then, when I have to sit down and narrow down my own selections... well, that's a different story entirely.

Currently, I would say cost is one of the biggest factors in decision-making, right along with my teaching style and my daughter's learning style.  It seems like you can often adapt materials to various teaching and learning styles, though. 

I think I have decided to give Sonlight a try this year, although I have not decided on which core just yet.  I have eye-balled Sonlight for about a year and a half now, and I think it is worth giving it a go.  (I will actually have a used instructor's guide and will use our library as much as possible.  I know that is not the ideal way to use Sonlight, but I am still excited about it.)  My daughter is not old enough for the American Government/Civics core, but I can't wait until she is!  I want to through it, too!

I am not sure that I will use Sonlight for Language Arts, but I am not sure what I will use instead.  The jury's still out on that one.  Someone reccomended Grammar Works by Jay W Patterson, but I am not sure how to order it, and I do not like to buy things that I have never seen.   We do have some brain building books - things to work the left and the right side of the brain, and some books to work on comprehension and such. 

Math is definitely Math U See.  That seems to be working well for her so far, so we are going to stick with it.

Science - Sonlight uses Apologia starting in 7th grade, and since that is what I had planned to use anyway, that is what we are going with.

There are some miscellaneous items we will be throwing in on the sides here and there, but I think that covers the core subjects.  I am still looking for some character training for a junior high age girl.  If anyone has any suggestions, I would love to hear from you!

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• Tuesday, June 19, 2007
Peek at Our New Pooch!

We picked up our new dog today.  I blogged about it in my other blog, and I have a picture there.  Check it out if you would like - The Five Cheery O's.

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• Monday, June 18, 2007
You know, I really want this to be my thing...

I really want blogging to be my thing.  I was pretty excited about the whole thing way back when.   I mean, I even figured out how to do a little sidebar thing.  But now look at it!  Look how old that info is... Max is walking now (between falling, that is).

I am not sure what my thing is right now, though.  So many of my friends and relatives do scrapbooking and artist trading cards and special projects that seem to go way beyond just scrapbooking.  It's their thing.  Some of them have more than one thing.  I haven't even started my just-turned-3-year-old's baby book yet.  I feel so guilty. 

My husband would probably say my thing is researching curriculum, texts, books, and so much more for home schooling.  I do love to spend time learning about what is out there!  It is so much fun, and you learn about so many other things along the way.  Speaking of curriculum, I think we are going to give Sonlight a try next year, and I am pretty excited about it.  If anyone has any input about Sonlight resources, or Sonlight in general, I would love to hear from you.

Anyway, I am not so good at keeping up with the blogging.  And I still haven't figured out how to add photos to my entries.  I am not even sure how to change the one on my sidebar, it's been so long now.  But I plan to keep at it.  I plan to try again.  Maybe it won't be my thing...

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• Thursday, March 22, 2007
Flu - Influenza YUCK!

I think this must be the first time I have had the flu, as in influenza.  I seem to be having a reprieve of symptoms for a moment (hopefully it is the end of it).  It came on so quickly, without warning.  I think I could handle the coughing and the runyy/stuffy nose and the fever, and maybe even milder achiness.  I was not prepared for the deep mucscle pain I have experienced.  I have been doing a quick search of the net to see if there is anything I can do about it.  I don't remember feeling like this before.  Mono wasn't this bad. 

The neck stiffness is coming back, and moving my eyes hurts my head.  It seems like strange symptoms for a respiratory infection. 

The two little kids have had fevers since Monday.  I think their fevers have broken today.  I didn't realize they had the flu.  My two year old told me "my legs hurt" and "I hurt everywhere".  Now  I understand why.  My sweet babies.  And, as usual, my 12 year old sweetie hasn't gotten sick yet.  I am not sure how she escapes the illnesses that come through the house, but it is rare that she gets sick. 

Of course, we don't know where we picked it up... we don't know anyone who had the flu.  But we have stayed holed up in the house all week.  And yesterday, it was so beautiful out! 

My husband hasn't gotten sick yet either, this time.  I hope he doesn't.  He got a flu shot at work this year, and he thinks that is why he hasn't gotten ill. 

Well, I didn't find anything too helpful.  I guess as much rest as possible!

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• Tuesday, March 20, 2007
It's Been SOOO Long

Isn't there a country song that starts out like that?  Well, anyway, this isn't a country song, but I guess it is kind of a sad excuse.  It has been so long since I have even logged on to homeschoolblogger.  We have been without a computer since October, 2006. 

We have a new on now, but I still haven't been able to get everything off the old hard drive yet.  That is a bummer, too, because I kept some of our ebooks for school on it.  So, we had to make a new plan in some of our areas for school. 

I usually use Missouri Logger Rhythms to track our homeschool progress (and so much more).  And when I lost that on the computer, I lost lesson plans and all.  It was rough getting used to tracking everything on paper after using the computer for everything.  It definitely taught me to not rely so heavily on my pc.  I can even thank God for the loss of our computer!

Let's see, yesterday we watched these videos called "Creatures That Defy Evolution" I &II.  They were so fascinating!  I loved learning things about some of these animals I had never learned.  I think we are going to watch them again tonight because my husband wants to see them as well. 

Well, I am glad to be back at blogging, but that'll have to do for now.   I'll try to get on here and update everything over the next week.  There are so many new things going on!

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• Wednesday, October 11, 2006
More details on the Birth Story... take 3

As we were roaming the halls, the contractions were stopping me in my tracks.  So, I was sure that this was moving me right along the dilation progression path.  I couldn't wait to be 'checked' again, but we kept walking for a little while longer, just for good measure.

Finally, it was time to go back into our room and be checked again.  You won't believe this, but I was still at a 3!!!  No Way!  Way. 

It was around this time that nurse Lucky lets us know that she is being sent home for the night because things are too slow.  So our new nurse is introduced to us; I can't remember her name for anything right now, but I will.  It started with an 'A', I believe. 

I was in a little more pain by this time, and I kept having to go to the bathroom.  Nurse A comes in and we learn that while she is new to this hospital, she has been a labor and delivery nurse for quite some time.

Oh, I can't remember whether I already mentioned this or not... I decided I wanted an epidural because the contractions were hurting in my back so badly.  But the doctor said I couldn't have one yet; I had to wait until I was dialated a little more.  That was also a blessing in disguise!

My nurse was taking her time, getting some paperwork filled out, trying to get the new computer system to work the way she wanted it to, etc.  Meanwhile, I was having harder and faster contractions.  Nurse A recognized my bleeding as something not normal right away.  I think that she probably knew something was wrong then.

All the sudden, she went into hyper-mode, trying to get everything done as fast as she could.  She even had my husband start asking me all the health questionaires between contractions.  She said she was hurrying so that I could get my epidural (by now I was at a 4... Whoo Hoo).

Sometime, after my new nurse, my doctor, not the on-call, was called and he was en route to the hospital.  When I heard this, I knew something was up.  Remember, he doesn't normally deliver his own patients' babies if he's not on-call.

The nurses kept having to move the baby monitor on my belly because the little guy wouldn't stay in one place for very long.  Nurse A came over to move the monitor again, and pushed the button for help because she couldn't find his heartbeat. 

This is when everything sort of started to become a blur to me.  My husband remembers things better. 

It seems like several other nurses came in at this time.  They gave me a shot of something that started with a 'T', I think, that was supposed to stop my contractions for at least an hour, but it didn't seem to make a difference.  My contractions were coming one on top of the other and they hurt in my back so badly.  I was not doing a good job keeping my cool.

Some time after this, Dr. O (my Dr.) entered the scene.  He studied the contractions, my heart rate and the baby's heart rate.  By this time I was on oxygen and had to have a monitor on my finger.  I had to keep my fingers straight which wasn't easy since all I wanted to do was make a fist or grab my husband's shirt.  (I was not handling this pain gracefully, really.)  My poor nurse had to keep running to the monitor to check heart rates because I kept making it beep. 

I couldn't focus on the noises going on in the room.  Wearing an oxygen mask made my breathing sound like the loudest thing in the room.  My husband was so encouraging.  I don't know if the baby and I would have made it if he had not been there.  God knew that we needed to be united for this delivery!  I think Satan knew it too. 

My husand kept getting really close to my face, looking into my eyes, speaking in a calm but firm voice, telling me that I needed to take a deep breath, for the baby.  I cannot count how many times he did this, over and over.  It is most definitely one of the most important of the many things that saved my son's life.

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• Friday, September 22, 2006
More details on the Birth Story... again

Well, I want to mention that when I called my Doctor (after hours) to let him know I was having contractions, I had to leave a message with the answering service.  One of the other doctors in the same practice was on call that night (May 9th, 2006), so it was her that called me back.

On a side note, my doctor doesn't usually deliver his own (patients') babies when he is not on call.  I think that might be partially why he was really wanting me to schedule an induction or inducement (?).  He even wanted to induce me before my due date.  But I requested that we wait and let it happen on its own.  For some reason, in my head I equated being induced with having a C-section.  And I just did not want to have a C-setion unless I absolutely had to.

So the on-call Doc called me back, and I let her know about my contractions, which weren't anything special at this point, and I told her about the bleeding.  She told me to go on in.

We had already had two "false alarms", but I knew this was "it" this time.  There wasn't any doubt this time.  So, about 9:30 or 10pm, we hopped (or hobbled) in the car for the 20 minute ride to the hospital.  We were so happy and nervous and anxious and excited.  It was wonderful, especially since we had just been nearly hating each other only a few minutes before!

When we arrived at the hospital, our nurse whisked us away to our awaiting room.  We didn't have to fill out much paperwork at that point because we were "on file" we were told from those two "false alarms", and we weren't actually being admitted yet.

Our nurse for the evening, we'll call her Lucky, gave me one of the beloved hospital gowns to slip into, and promised to be back for a quick "check".  I mentioned to her that I was doing a lot of bleeding, but she assured me it was most likely bloody show. 

She came back as promised and did the "check"... I was dilated to a 3.  What a bummer!  All those contractions that even started to hurt more and more, and nothing.  I was at a 3 at my last Dr's appointment.  I was somewhat effaced, and the baby's station was a 3. 

Lucky hooked me up to all kinds of stuff and told me to wait an hour and see how it goes.  After regular contractions for another hour, nothing changed - still a 3.  Lucky went to call the on-call doc and advise her of the situation.  While she was waiting for the doctor to call her back, she said that it would be likely the doctor would want to send me home to labor some more and then come back.

She asked if we wanted to go home or stay.  I asked again about the bleeding and she said it was normal.  So we said we guessed we'd go home, who wants to labor at the hospital?

Lucky came back some time later and said the doc wanted me to stay a little while longer.  God's blessing there, let me tell you!  Anyway, I begged to to get up and walk and was allowed to roam the halls for awhile with my husband.

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• Friday, September 22, 2006
More details on the Birth Story

I know I have already shared the story of my son's birth briefly, but I left out some important details that show God's strength and how much He cares for even the details.

On May 8th, 2006, my husband and I went to bed as usual.  After my 15 minutes or so of trying to find the ever-elusive comfortable position at 40+ weeks of pregnancy, we said good night.  But somewhere in the darkness, something dark was lurking.  No, this isn't a horror movie, but God had a plan, and Satan never wants it to come to pass.

For whatever reason, my husband and I began to argue.  And this was no run-of-the-mill arguement; this was a 10 on the richter scale.  We have only had one other disagreement of this porportion since we have been married.   We both said hurtful, mean things (hurled those emotional rocks again).  It was bitter. 

Normally I don't care to air out my dirty laundry like this, but there is a purpose.

I waddled off to the bathroom to cry in peace.  That is when I realized that I had started to bleed, just a little, but it seemed different than bloody show.  Then I cried even harder... Now I was getting ready to go into labor and I didn't even want to speak to my husband!  This just couldn't be.  I begged God to wait a little longer, until we got this thing hashed out.  I was even willing to be even further passed due...

The next morning, he left without saying he loved me like he always does and without my routine good-bye kiss, which, sadly, really was fine with me. 

I called my mom to tell her she was officially on-call.

All through the day, I continued to bleed ... and cry.   I had contractions, but nothing steady or getting stronger or getting closer together.  I didn't call my husband; I didn't tell him I was bleeding; I didn't tell him I knew the baby would be coming soon.  I didn't want us to be in the same room together and here, one of the most important events in our lives was about to take place.

I was so sad and I needed encouragement, so I told my mom how I was feeling when she stopped by on her lunch break to check on me.  She felt empathy for me and said she would pray.  (Having your parents as your spiritual parents as well is quite a blessing!)

My not-so-dear-at-that-moment husband came home and I told him that we would probably be making a trip to the hospital that night.  It didn't seem to phase him at all, which upset me even more.  And I continued to let him know that this was no way for a new baby to come into the world or our family.  I was pretty much demanding that he fix everything and make it right before we had to go to the hospital. 

I was timing contractions by this time.

He didn't take too kindly to my demands.  And, in fact, took them to mean that if he didn't make it right like I wanted, then I didn't want him in the room when the baby was born.  I wanted him there more than anything!  But how did we get from not speaking to the place where we were working as a team through intense labor pains that were on their way at any time?

I suggested we call my dad over.  At first, he didn't like the idea, but then said to do it.  So my parents came over and Mom took the girls outside to play while Dad sat down with us to talk.  Dad didn't care who was right or who wasn't, and he didn't care if we even got it resolved right then or if we got our apologies.

What he did care about is our hearts and our attitudes.  He told us that Satan was real happy with the foothold we were allowing him to have over something maybe not so important in the bigger picture of things.  He told us we needed to get together and get through this delivery.  He talked to us for a little bit and then left the room.  We realized what he said was all true and that we were being foolish.  We apologized to one another and agreed to get back on the same side.

It seems silly that we couldn't get through this without calling in the help, but God blessed us with my parents, in so many ways.  They are such a blessing!

Dad and Mom came back in the room and prayed for us and the new baby.  Then they took the girls, and we left for the hospital. 

The reason this is so important is because we didn't know what was laying ahead of us.  We thought we did.  We expected another birth similar to the last - thrilling us but at the same time uneventful.  That was not the case.

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• Thursday, September 21, 2006
I have never been so excited to go to school!

I don't remember very much about history from when I was in school.  Maybe that is partly why I am so excited about school this year.  This is our second year home schooling and our first year with an actual plan outside of workbooks and making sure we get in our "time".  We are starting with Creation and working our way to the present.  I know this is not a new concept by any means; it is just a first for us.

I really like the four-year plan idea where you rotate through 4 blocks of History in 4 year intervals.  Science can be done this way too.  I have found several versions of this four-year plan online, but my two favorites are from Heart of Wisdom and Tapestry of Grace.

We have started to read A Child's History of the World by V.M. Hillyer, but it may be a tad too "young" for my dd.  So I have been looking at The Mystery of History Vol 1 as an alternative. 

We also read our Bible passages in chronological order according to this schedule from Back to the Bible.  It has been so interesting to talk read these things and discuss them with my daughter. 

She is really putting things together, and I can see her understanding how the Bible contrasts with the very common, in-your-face everyday worldview.  She even remembers and recited to me what she remembered about evolution theories in first grade (at public school), even though she didn't know it was called "evolution" then.

I really do look forward to reading these things and talking about them with her. 

I just purchased a Creation eBook from Heart of Wisdom called Creation - An Internet-Linked Unit Study.  I am excited about several of the resources and ideas I have read so far.  I am also considering another eBook about Creation called Days of Creation by Sheri Graham for additional activities. 

I noticed that there is a lesson in the first unit study (HOW Creation) about Celebrating Creation (Rosh Hashanah).  It looks like this celebration begins this Friday at sundown.  I would love to incorporate this into our study, but I just didn't get the information in time.  Maybe we will still celebrate, just not on the right date...

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• Monday, August 21, 2006
Refreshing Time at a Picnic

God has brought us so far in our journey together as married folk!  It is so neat to look behind us and see the path more clearly. 

Yesterday we went to church.  I left part way throught the service to retire to the nursing mother's room.  (I am not so good at nursing in front of other people...)  It used to be that there would always be a little mothers convention in there, but lately I am the only nursing mother that uses the room, I guess.  So I had the whole little room to myself.  The room does have a TV for watching/hearing the service.

After church we went home and got ready for a picnic at the lake with our small group from church.  While we were getting ready to go, we received some really not-so-good financial news which put a little damper on the rest of the day.  But it gives us another opportunity to trust God and watch how He will take us through. 

We thought about not going to the picnic because both of us were in not-so-good moods.  But, we decided we needed the break.  So, off to a picnic with our Life Group.  We had a great time at a shelter at a local lake.  We have awesome people in our Life Group, and it has been so blessed getting to know them on a deeper level.  It really is a community of believers.  I have not experienced this outside my family before.

The picnic and the company were both refreshing to us.  We needed that little break from the things that waited back at home to weigh heavily on us.

I brought salad and spiced apples to the picnic.  Those apples were the best!  They had come from my mom's apple tree.  I went over to her house Friday and had a little canning party. 

For my spiced apples, I fried them up in a little butter and added cinnamon, freshly grated nutmeg and walnuts.  Simple and yummy!

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• Sunday, July 23, 2006
Who do you Trust?

Is it easy for you to trust people?  I used to think it was easy for me to trust people.  And maybe it was.  And sometimes it still is.  For example, I love giving stuff away on FreeCycle.  It is so fun to reply to somebody's "Wanted" post with something they need.  Or just offering things I don't need anymore to complete strangers. 

But, I have to trust them with my address if I have them come pick it up at my house.  COMPLETE STRANGERS, mind you.  That's a pretty big amount of trust in the city in this time, I guess.  Or it is stupidity, I am not sure which.

Well, I had been reading my book, Created to Be His Help Meet by Debi Pearl, until I just recently "temporarily misplaced" it (I heard this is the politically correct way to say I lost it).  I can't find it anywhere!  I was on chapter 4, I believe, and then I went back to the beginning and started reading it again.  I needed to let it soak in some more.  There are some simple concepts there that are really hard for me to wrap my mind around.

I know one of the issues I have felt was really BIG in my marriage was this trust thing.  Could I really trust my husband with my heart, you know, like my feelings and thoughts and such?  He is a great provider, and I am pretty sure he would die for any of us if he had to. 

But could I trust him to be careful with fragile little me?

Could I trust him to understand me?  To hear me?  To "get" me?  To realize my side of the issue? 

Well, today at church, our youth pastor delivered the sermon.  He is a gifted speaker, and I think he must really be able to get messages across to the youth in a meaningful way.  Anyway, I bet you'll never guess what his message was about today...

Yep, Trust.

He had 3 points and they were really good, and he gave some scriptures, and they were really good, too.  But I think God showed me some things that weren't exactly in his sermon, but I needed to hear that sermon for the Holy Spirit to do His thing.  I realized I have misplaced trust.   

I have to trust God with my heart, emotions, feelings, with fragile little me, etc.  It's kind of liberating.  If I am trusting it all to God, it includes trusting God with my husband too.  That means God knows what goes on in our relationship (the good, bad and ugly)... He knows in what areas my husband may be lacking (there aren't many; maybe just one... or two:)).  God will handle things - I don't have to, I don't need to, I can't. 

That also means God knows how I treat my husband (the good, bad and ugly).

God will "get" me; He created me so of course He understands me.  He will deal with me correctly.  I may not always like it, but I know He will deal with me correctly.  I can trust that. 

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• Thursday, July 13, 2006
Why Wait? (I hate waiting.)

The internet and the World Wide Web are amazing things.  

You can get online any time, night or day, and meet almost anybody.  You can have an e-conference and "meet" with your boss or a future employer.  You can join an egroup and "meet" people who like the same hobby, TV show, books, instrument, or anything else you like.  You can "meet" people you might date (if you're single) when you sign on to the 'net.  You can "meet" with family across the world.  You can "meet" new friends in a chat room.  You can "meet" people you don't want to know when you log in to your email sometimes. 

Tonight I wished I could sign on and meet with God. 

You can get answers to almost any question you have... you just type it in, and wait a couple seconds, if that, for as many answers as you can read.  You can find as many answers as there are people to write them about things like home schooling or public, breastfeeding or formula, spanking or 1-2-3, long hair or short.  I can't remember looking for something and not finding any answers on the ole www.

Do you ever wish it was that easy to "meet" with God... to get answers from Him?  I had my head on my pillow tonight, and the lights were out, but I wasn't anywhere close to being at rest.  As I prayed to the Lord for some answers for my situation, I thought "how can I hear the answers fast?"  I told God "I am desperate Lord, meet me quickly!"

And it occurred to me, I want an internet God.  Or maybe I have let the internet be my god too often.  AAHH!  Did I just type that?!  I always think if I have a problem, I just run over to the computer and since we are always online we're always "connected", and I give IT my problems and let IT give me answers. 

Maybe I am connected incorrectly.

Don't get me wrong, I am not knocking the internet.  It can be a great resource.  I just know that I have joined an egroup for every "problem" or "issue" I have been having lately.  And, even though I have received some great input from some wise folks, none of those "problems" or "issues" is resolved yet.

I just hate waiting.  So I try all the quick fixes, I guess.  Maybe that is why I feel a little burned out right now. 

I did a quick study (very quick) on the word "wait" in Psalms alone.  It has a few different meanings.  This one is maybe my favorite -  "to await or expect eagerly".  It also means "to sit constantly beside" and "to wait upon as a servant". 

Psalm 25: 1- 5  Unto thee, O LORD, do I lift up my soul.  O my God, I trust in thee: let me not be ashamed, let not mine enemies triumph over me.  Yea, let none that wait on thee be ashamed: let them be ashamed which transgress without cause.  Shew me thy ways, O LORD; teach me thy paths.  Lead me in thy truth, and teach me: for thou [art] the God of my salvation; on thee do I wait all the day.

Wait all day?  Like, literally all day?  Well, that was fine for David.  He just sat around watching the sheep all day, right?  And, even when he was king, he just sat on a throne and had servants for everything, didn't he?  So that scripture can't apply to me today, can it?  Yeah, right!  David was a man after God's own heart.

Psa 25:21 Let integrity and uprightness preserve me; for I wait on thee.

Psa 27:14 Wait on the LORD: be of good courage, and he shall strengthen thine heart: wait, I say, on the LORD.

Psa 37:9 For evildoers shall be cut off: but those that wait upon the LORD, they shall inherit the earth.

Psa 37:34 Wait on the LORD, and keep his way, and he shall exalt thee to inherit the land: when the wicked are cut off, thou shalt see [it].

Psa 62:5 My soul, wait thou only upon God; for my expectation [is] from him.

Psa 123:2 Behold, as the eyes of servants [look] unto the hand of their masters, [and] as the eyes of a maiden unto the hand of her mistress; so our eyes [wait] upon the LORD our God, until that he have mercy upon us.

Psa 130:5 I wait for the LORD, my soul doth wait, and in his word do I hope.

Isa 40:31 But they that wait upon the LORD shall renew [their] strength; they shall mount up with wings as eagles; they shall run, and not be weary; [and] they shall walk, and not faint.

These are all from Blue Letter Bible .com.  Yes, I even use an online Bible!  (I have several hardcopies around the house, but, you guessed it, this was quicker...)

Well, I think I know what I need to do about my situation now.  Wait.  Wait on the Lord, that is. 

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• Friday, July 7, 2006
Throwing Rocks - Created to be His Help Meet - the beginning

If you have read the book, you know that Michael and Debi Pearl talk about how there was a time in the beginning of their marriage that she threw rocks at him for whatever reason.  Well, I guess I would say my husband and I are at that point in our marriage, sort of.

Let me quickly clarify that neither of us has actually thrown physical rocks at the other person (yet), but we have aimed our share of emotional rocks right at the other's heart on occasion.

My husband and I will be married 3 years by the end of this month.  We have two little kiddos together and he adopted my older daughter.  Our first year of marriage spelled STRESS.  It consisited of, well, getting married, deciding I would stay home (at first it was just for the summer... I am still a SAHM. PTL!), getting pregnant, difficulties in pregnancy, beginning the adoption process, having a baby, buying our first home.  And we moved in our 2nd year of marriage and completed the adoption and decided to homeschool and had another baby.  This doesn't count anything outside of our little family, mind you.  We didn't have any "hey, honey, it's just you and me, let's work on our marriage" time.  We didn't have time to acclimate ourselves to each other - like wet clothes in the bathroom or not being as neat a housekeeper as his mom... you know, the little things that can be huge when you focus on them.

Anyway, I know that before I married my husband, I bought into a whole bunch of really "feminist" ideals without even realizing it for the most part.  I had friends who believed women could and should do anything men did.  I wasn't quite that liberated.  I believed God made men and women to function in different roles on purpose, but I also believed that women had as much right to run the household than a man.  And, I carried it a step farther: a woman should run the household if the man wasn't doing it correctly.

Whoa!  Hold up there, little Lassy!  Whose definition of "correctly" are you going to use, first of all?  Your own definition?  That's a little dangerous, wouldn't you say? 

(Here is a little side note:  We went through the Love & Respect seminar by Emerson Eggerich several months ago, and this brought several break-throughs for me.  It was when all the things you learn in church about men & women all the sudden clicked in my mind and in my spirit.  I realized through Holy Spirit revelation why God made men and women different.  I am still meditating on this and praying for deeper understanding.  But it made so much sense to me all of a sudden.  It is also when the Holy Spirit revealed to me that I had not viewed my husband as having good will toward me.  I had subconsciously believed he always had ulterior motives for everything.  Coming to that light bulb moment was huge for me, not to mention humbling and freeing.  I didn't have to try to figure out his motives anymore!  Maybe he was being transparent with me, and all I had to do was trust him.  Trusting takes much less effort than not trusting.)

I am still struggling with all this a little.  And who says he isn't doing it correctly?  Well, no one, really.  In fact, he's really dedicated to providing for our family.  Not just any man would want to accept responsibility for a woman and her child.  And it is important to him that he takes his family to church, and that we are involved with our families as well as other Christian families.  He is so happy that I am able to stay at home with our children.  He has noble desires for his children's upbringing.  He is supportive of my home schooling efforts.  He tells me he loves when he calls me from work.  And from time to time, he goes and gets a special dessert for just me and him. 

So, what is the problem here?  It all sounds pretty good to me, you say.  Well, it is pretty good.  But my outlook up to this point has been something that sounds like this:  "Oh I can't give up now.  Yah, these things are great, but I have to keep bugging him about this or that.  If I don't keep bugging him about it, it will never change."

Hmmm, let me look here... Yah, no where in my job title or job description can I find "Holy Spirit-like" or "try to function like the Holy Spirit".  And if it was my job, I would have failed miserably anyway!

My eyes are focused on the wrong focal point.  Instead of looking to Jesus, I often look to my husband as the source.  I sometimes want to help the source along when I view it as my husband.  That isn't my job at all, and that isn't his job at all either.  And, God is showing me what my job is.  That is what I want to know.  And looking to Jesus is all I need.

I am also understanding that I need to be content where I am, thankful with what I have and in prayer for him much more than I am. 

I love my husband and I am thankful for him.  I have just let the ways of this world cloud my vision of him.  And I am sorry for that.  I love you, honey.

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• Monday, July 3, 2006
Hello, again... Created to be His Help Meet

It  has been so long since I have actually posted.  I have typed in new entries then only saved them as drafts because they aren't "just right".  Well, I am going to try to get over that.  I used to do that in high school too - write letters to friends and family, but then never send them.  (I still have most of them!)  Oh well, maybe it was what I needed to do to get all the thoughts on paper and out of my mind...

I think that may be why I make lists too. 

Anyway, life with the new baby is still in its adjustment period.  Baby Boy O is almost 8 weeks old now, and he is getting sooo big.  He is doing great, and it seems like he has always been with us, adjustment period or not.  He has his 2 month check up on Wednesday.  I can't wait to see how much he weighs now. 

I wish I knew how to post pictures.  And I noticed one of my categories links isn't working.  So I will try to figure that stuff out as I go along.  In the meantime, I am sorry.

I just recently began reading Created to be His Help Meet by Debi Pearl.  I had heard of it from various sources and found this excerpt on the internet that intrigued me.  We didn't have money for the book, so I requested it from the library.  So did about 30 others before me.  But, then, I received the book in bunch of books someone gave to me.  It was like God sent the book right to me!

I have since heard good and bad things about it.  I have also heard that the Pearls' parenting books don't exactly match up with some of the Ezzo's, but I don't know anything about that.  I am going to read this book and ask God for wisdom and discernment throughout.  I think I will post the things I learn periodically. 

I know that I am not the help meet to my husband that I should be, that I desire to be.  Have you read this book?  Did it help you be a help meet to your husband?  Thanks for sharing!

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• Sunday, May 21, 2006
Love Song for a Savior

Today, we pulled into the drive way, home from church, and my little girl (almost two) wanted to pick "flowers" (the clover and dandelions).  I told her she could pick a few.  She sat down in one patch and found one white flower she liked and plucked it up.  Then she stood up and flitted over to another patch, and then danced to another while her red hair reflected the beautiful sunlight.  She reminded me of a little butterfly.  And that reminded me of a Jars of Clay song - Love Song for a Savior.  Of course, the music is so beautiful, but I don't even know how to add that to my blog, or I might just so you could hear it!

Jars of Clay - Love Song for a Savior lyric

(copied from LYRICS CENTRAL)

In open fields of wild flowers,
She breathes the air and flies away
She thanks her Jesus for the daises and the roses
In no simple language
Someday she’ll understand the meaning of it all
He’s more than the laughter or the stars in the heavens
As close a heartbeat or a song on her lips
Someday she’ll trust him and learn how to see him
Someday he’ll call her and she will come running
And fall in his arms and the tears will fall down and she’ll pray,

I want to fall in love with you

Sitting silent wearing sunday best
The sermon echoes through the walls
A great salvation through it calls to the people
Who stare into nowhere, and can’t feel the chains on their souls

He’s more than the laughter or the stars in the heavens
As close a heartbeat or a song on our lips
Someday we’ll trust him and learn how to see him
Someday he’ll call us and we will come running
And fall in his arms and the tears will fall down and we’ll pray,

I want to fall in love with you

It seems too easy to call you savior,
Not close enough to call you god
So as I sit and think of words I can mention
To show my devotion

I want to fall in love with you

My heart beats for you

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• Wednesday, May 17, 2006
Baby is Born!

Baby Boy O arrived at 3:24 AM on May 10, 2006!  He weighed 7 lbs 3.9 oz and measured 19 in long.   

He came with his own birth story for sure.  At 3:18, the doctor was preparing the O.R. for an emergency Cesarean because the baby was in too much distress.  Six minutes later, as the nurses began to wheel my bed out of my room, Baby decided right then was his time to make his entrance.  Praise God!  The nurses pushed the bed back into its place in the room, and pandemonium seemed to ensue since this room wasn’t prepared for delivery.  But these doctors and nurses were great, and God had his hand on every detail (amazing details).  I had a placental abruption at some point during labor which is what caused the baby's heart rate to “crash”, and he was born with the cord wrapped “tightly” around his neck.  But, amazingly, he only needed a few short pumps of oxygen before his color returned, and his heart rate was back to normal!  Both Mommy & baby did so well in the next day or so that we were OK’D to leave the hospital a day early!   

We want to thank all of our friends and family for your prayers, your support, your gifts, and your love.  We have thanked God many times for all of you. 

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• Saturday, April 29, 2006
Curriculum Findings and a New Approach – Part Two

I mentioned in Part One that there have been some interesting resources I believe God directed me to find that have helped me focus on the How's and Why's for our Home School.

The first was a set of audio tapes by Greg Harris (author of The Christian Home School).  I am still listening to the whole set, but the first session - Biblical Basis for Home Schooling - really assigned the teaching responsibility to the parents in a way that made so much sense to me.  (I ordered the tapes for a donation from the Charity Gospel Tape Ministry, if anyone is interested.)

Mr. Harris talked about the verses below from Psalm 127.