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I've just found the cool feature that lets me put the same little blurb at the top of each of my posts. How cool is that?

I'm thankful Rose enjoys listening to me read aloud so much. It is nice to be able to count on at least one captive audience member.            

I'm thankful Willow enjoys putting on dances for us, and that she said she missed Forest being a part of tonights dance since he is already sleeping.         

I'm thankful Forest went to bed with no fussing tonight and that he was pleasant all afternoon even though he did not get a nap.

I'm thankful for my home being layed out as it is. I enjoy that the downstairs feels like a private get-a-way after a long day or week.                             

I'm thankful my husband never complains about having to work , and that he is the type of man that believes it is his responsibility to provide for his family.           

"Lord, thank you for loving me and setting me free. Thank you for this family You've given me for however long You allow. Please help me to learn from the trials that come through our door and give me words of grace and wisdom to share with those who cross my path and are struggling. Please use our family to show others Your love in the big and small ways. And most of all, please forgive me for the times I fail You and am a hypocrite or prideful or selfish. You are so good to us and I am asking you to provide for us and watch over us. Please heal me of this sickness that just won't go away.  In Jesus Christ's name I pray, Amen."            

Rose (7yo) and I have started something new this week, keeping a notebook in the center of the table where each day we write one thing we are thankful for. It has been helpful for obvious reasons; she is very similar to her Momma.               

Being inspired by an old friend's daughter who is relatively newly married with just one sweet daughter (so far), I've decided to also do a thankfulness activity about my children. She is doing this toward her home and her husband, something else I could do later! Her parent's taught her well.               

•  I'm thankful Rose is able to help around the house when I am not feeling well. 
• I'm thankful Willow is loving toward her brother during playtime.
• I'm thankful Forest gets excited to have one of his sisters help him pick out his pajamas at night. It's a little game he's made up by himself where he asks each of them on different nights if they want to please help him pick out his pj's.       

I've been thinking about how much of our happiness depends on our perspective, particularly as it pertains to our opinion of our marriage and home life. We wives can find ourselves questioning so many things: does he really love me; does he really like me; does he see how hard I work; does he mean it when he says I'm doing a good job with the children (especially if we home educate!); am I beautiful to him; am I a good mother? If we've weathered storms in our marriages, and let's face it, who hasn't at one point or another (if you haven't just give it time, but God is faithful to see you through!), we may revert to thinking of truths from the past and applying them to the present, valid or not.          

Sometimes we wives differ in what we think about all of the above regardless of what our husbands say or do. Herein lies the problem. We are then faced with two choices: keep believing what we have convinced ourselves of or change our thoughts to match those of our husbands. It has occurred to me that sometimes we can choose to be more unhappy, filtering what our men say so suite ourselves, even if it means looking upon ourselves negatively (some of us are more comfortable with that).                  

It can be hard to write about a topic like this in generalities, and I hope my heart is coming across. Psychologists would tell us how we feel is our reality, but you know, I think reality can be very subjective since it is based on each person's perspective. So, why then is it so wrong to adjust our thoughts to line up with our husbands, so long as we aren't talking about abusive situations or blatant sin? That is not something we should convince ourselves is ok. If we are using the only true measure for our reality marker, we will avoid doing that.               

My point is this, sometimes it is in the best interest of all involved for us to choose the highest common denominator of thought, not the lowest.     

Here is an example for homeschoolers. A lady may have a husband who says how easy she has it as a wife. A first thought is to be highly insulted, sure he has no idea how hard she works, thinking she has the life of luxury even! My first question is this, why do we think he needs to say we have it rough? Does that somehow validate us or our commitment or work? Aren't we to do all things as unto the Lord, not men?

My second thought is this, perhaps he is saying that he feels he's done a fine job providing; he's given a comfortable life and home. Perhaps he's trying to help her see that her life is blessed and he feels insulted if she goes on about how hard her job is. Afterall, how many women like to hear their husbands go on and on about how rough they have it because they have to go to work each day? As homeschooling mom's we don't have to work out of the home full time usually, which is surely more difficult than homeschooling in many regards.

I think from a man's perspective life is supposed to involve hard work, and just because something is hard doesn't mean it is bad. That is where we wives can get ourselves into a rut. We want sympathy for all we give and sacrifice, yet our husbands have dealt with trials, persecution, temptation, early hours, late hours and more for a long time. Do we make sure to show him how much we appreciate him and all he gives as much as we ask him to do that for us? I for one am guilty of asking for more kudos than I dole out, far more.              

Our husbands surely are struggling with sin in some areas just as we are, but we should be all the more faithful to pray for them and show them Christ. That is part of what we agreed to on our wedding day, is it not? How easily I condemn and forget to pray for him when I am annoyed with him.          

If God has called us to something, should we really lament the difficulties that go with it? Would we think highly of missionaries or pastors who would do the same? I wouldn't, I'd be wondering why they were serving if they had such a terrible attitude. Which brings me back to the title. How much of our difficulties are based on our perspective? As a woman I am not ashamed to say that I am easily deceived as was Eve. My husband has been correct more than once in assessing my moods, intentions, and problem areas. He does it in a kind way usually, and I see that sometimes I'm so stuck in hearing what he is saying that what he means. Bottom line, if I'd focus more on my duties and responsibilities as given by my loving heavenly Father, I'd spend less time assessing how good I do or don't have it. I'd give the benefit of doubt more, and I'd give to my husband the things I crave. Generally when I do that, I end up getting much more than what I sought in the first place.

The time has finally come now that we're halfway through the school year almost, to start having my oldest take more responsibility for her work. Today we tried a new routine based on Leigh Bortins idea of scheduling and it made the day go smoother. Since I'm struggling with a cold that I can't shake, I really need the children to work constantly so they don't start getting all wild. Today we went from school to chores to play. It reminds me of when I had infants and would do a feed/wake/sleep schedule. Although I think I ditched that after my first baby; it's hard to recall really.              

Anyway, after seeing how today went, I made a list of items for my oldest to do starting at a certain time whether I'm sitting here or not. There is actually a lot of work she can do on her own. I'm needed for her timed math drill sheet, mental math, and the new material that is introduced in math, but she can do the mixed practice on her own. If she gets hung up on any of her work, she's to keep going forward and can ask me questions when the time comes. The time is NOT when I'm working with someone else. This is going to really cut down on my interruptions and the general cacophony that erupts when my attention is pulled in numerous directions at once.                            

What remains to be done is to rewrite last nights list to reflect the one on one time I'll have with the other 2 children. Aside from adding more reading time to them in the evenings, I'm going to have a few fixed 10-20 min increments of one on one with each student so I'm sure they are getting enough time with me.                                                            

I have to say, I seriously commend homeschooling mom's to more than 3 children. Only 2 of mine are doing actual work each day, but the 3rd needs Mommy time, so I'm still juggling them all. Realizing that next year I'll likely be teaching reading again, I have got to have my oldest as independent as possible. Since she'll be in 4th grade I think it will be feasible. Next year I'll also have a 1st grader, so she will need a good bit of one on one with me still. 

Usually I'm preparing for the next school year around this time, though it does surprise me each year. January is when we've often made some decisions to change things up a bit midway, but I doubt that will happen this year. Classical Conversations has brought so much structure to the day that I was ready for that my January dilemma will hopefully not exist in 2009!         

Well, since I'm still coughing so much it's time for Nyquil and sleep. We've got a viewing to go to tomorrow so will be on the road. Please pray for us as we travel and try to be a comfort to those grieving most.        

While I'd like to lay claim to the title of this entry, it is from my Devotions for Homeschool Moms by Jackie Wellford. In this entry she brings the question, did we count the cost accurately for homeschooling? The author notes that she has had to sacrifice a lot, and only has time for a few close homeschooling friends even. Time for oneself is virtually invisible when you homeschool, though still I find myself feeling as though I should cut out even more. For this reason I've been debating on deleting my VAThinker blog, which I've already purged of multitudes of political postings, since it was created for the Presidential election. I've also pondered nixing Facebook since it is a time sucker for a mom who has 3 precious children to nurture. 

I'm feeling low right now, so won't make any decisions. I suppose what I need to do is get over this miserable cough and feel better, but also find someone who needs encouragement and do what I can. That is what usually helps when we need something, give it away, right?       

"Lord, you are holy and just and worthy of praise. Forgive me of my selfishness and pride, and please help me not to waste time, but to realize how fast these children are growing. Help me maximize our learning together and be compassionate toward them. Bless me with friendships that encourage me in this task of mothering and being a godly wife, and bless my children with honorable friends that they will have for a lifetime. In Jesus' name. Amen." 

You know how anytime a person is into a specific niche, whether it be scrapbooking, quilting, Civil War re-enactment, homeschooling, natural eating etc., they find friends and community there? Well, tonight while having a visit with a friend at a coffee place (neither of us got coffee so I can't say we went out for coffee), we got to talking about the homeschool community. We didn't chat about it for long, but I think about it from time to time. I was sharing how I'm continually amazed at how interconnected the hs community is. So many women know other women really well, sometimes people whom I had no idea had ever met. It's very interesting!            

When I became a born-again Christian my community expanded beautifully. I found people who almost felt like old friends right away. We shared a common bond that ran very deep. It is similar with homeschooling. I've met myriads of homeschoolers where I live now.  Something neat that I've learned the last couple of years is that those of us who home educate share so much without ever having to say a word, and if we're talking to fellow Christian home educators, well, we could practically call each other old friends from day one ;-). Ok, not exactly, but the bond is wonderful and I have grown to appreciate it more and more.             

There was a time in my life I felt I had to be everyone's best friend. I spent lots of time cultivating my relationships because closeness is something I thrive on. But God in His goodness and wisdom allowed me to become a part of a vast home educating world where I currently live, full of gifted women who are friends with everyone. So I've learned in this, and through them by God's grace, am free from my shackles. It's been a while since this happened, but I didn't want to share my good news until I was sure it was genuine. It feels so freeing to not worry if someone has closer friends than me. I can be a fringe friend or one of several close friends, and it is all good. I'm actually seeing the benefits to not being someone's "go to" gal!!        

The most important lesson God has taught me in recent years is that my husband truly is my best friend in the whole wide world. Hands down. He gets the prize. I need my girlfriends something terrible, but without my man, I'd be lost.  Of course, I don't know if that matters so much to him, but I need to be able to say it .                                         

This year had been sailing along beautifully, full schedules that were keeping us moving at a steady pace. Then we added in some changes to our lifestyle, my work load increased, sickness ensued, and I'm behind now. It's not a WAY behind thing, but more of a "I can't keep up" thing.           

The 7 loads of laundry I was behind on got caught up. The house isn't in shambles anymore, and that strange smell has dissipated; but each days' goals are not being met. My mental goals that is.

Were I to write them down they would not be met either, and then I'd clearly see what didn't get accomplished  . Part of what is going on is that we are at week 10 for CC, and there is a great deal of material to keep reviewing. I don't want us to forget all we've worked so hard to memorize. Part of it is that the writing assignments are getting more involved, or at least they seem to be. Part of it is that I am teaching our oldest math now, and that is likely the very biggest contributor to my new state of disarray. But, this is a season, and it will pass before long. I just have to reprioritize and figure out how to work it all in.  Once I get a little overwhelmed, I tend to start shutting down until I get things under wraps, so I have to work hard to not do that.                 

Today we didn't do our assigned writing; instead my oldest illustrated a short narrative she created, fictional, but she used some elements of style from the IEW. I miss doing things like this, unscripted and fun but educational. I think I need to let go of some of the formality and allow for these moments. We can catch up on the IEW over break, right?                                

My beloved husband has been gone for 5 days, and I am so glad he's home! Thankfully this trip was broken up with a visit from my closest-in-age sister. It's been too long since she and I sat up late talking. You know how there is just nothing like those talks. I love having sisters! Next time I hope my oldest sister can make it down as well.

Anyhow, today was our roughest day sans daddy. It was probably due to the fact I'm clearly coming down with a cold (I am not admitting to officially having said cold yet). So, I was not as friendly, which I don't like.                                            

In an attempt to get on a good path, we went to the Y, had lessons in Bible, arithmetic, reading, reading comprehension, did AWANA verses, EEL and Foundations. We did not do IEW; just not enough energy for that. Of course we had dance today and did a lot of domestic training, both of which offer so much for learning discipline :). I'm grateful the kids helped so much with laundry and house keeping today.

We decided to carve pumpkins this year using this illustration of how it is similar to the life of a Christian. It's a beautiful way to still do something fun with a pumpkin while not celebrating Halloween. Our pumpkins were cheerful and cute, until...                                   

Nasty, ravenous squirrels got a hold of them. Then they became horror film pumpkins. Look at the mouth of the big one. You can hear it screaming practically!