How does a woman become wise? And how would she build her house versus tear it down?

We all become wise by reading God's word and submitting to It's authority, which is His authority. It might take a few readings to be able to conform our thinking to God's, but if we refuse to do that, it could very well be we are in rebellion ultimately to God, and are not actually in the true faith. A sure sign that someone is a follower of Christ is that they will submit to His will. Attending church, if it does not cause strife with our husband, is yet another way we can become wise. A woman who allows her husband to lead and studies him to better learn how to please him is also wise and will grow in that wisdom. I like the book Love and Respect by E. Eggerichs. He draws a circle of the love husbands are to show their wives and the respect wives are to show their husbands. One feeds the other. Likewise, the lack of both feeds a total lack. Marriage is 100%/100%, if one person is doing what they are supposed to be doing, it is far more likely to bring the one not working, along to where they should be. We have to be adults about loving our spouses whether we feel like it or not. With God, it is possible to put our needs behind the needs of those entrusted to our care. He calls us to that if we claim the name of Christian. 

How does a woman build her house? By doing what it takes to nurture and advance her home. She guides the running of the house according to her husband's wishes, working alongside him as a team. Her suggestions on ways to improve the home setting are frugal, temperate, and are for the good of all. Her home is a peaceful refuge and haven, and she works diligently to see to it that is so. The home is a direct reflection of a woman. If it is in order, the credit is hers. If disarray, it is hers to own. It matters not if we homeschool, work full time, or are home full time with kids in school. I've seen women shirk this responsibility in all situations, and in each one, the marriage takes a heavy toll. Just as a woman can be driven to utter hopelessness by a lack of her husband's love, a man can be driven to a level of utter reproach by a woman who refuses to meet his need for order in the home. We each reap what we sow.

The contrast of how a woman tears down her home is obvious by this point. She is not thrifty and spends more than the family can bear. Her goals are self-seeking rather than for the good of her husband, which is also what is best for her children. She spends her time on ventures that should be secondary to the care of her marriage, home and children. There is no order, no plan, no vision.

Years ago I read a book from my pediatrician on how critical sleep is for children. They need to go to bed early and sleep in a peaceful environment for many hours. Around that same time I read of an example where there was a child with sleep problems, and it all linked back to the parent's not spending time showing love to one another in front of the kids. Children must be secondary to the marriage relationship or they will not feel secure, and a child who is insecure will not thrive. Our hobbies, homeschooling desires, religious persuits at church etc. must all come AFTER the nurturing of a solid marriage so our kids can give their full attention to learning and growing into healthy adults.