His Abiding Love
• Mar. 8, 2007 - The Still Small Voice
"And he said, Go forth, and stand upon the mount before the LORD. And, behold, the LORD passed by, and a great and strong wind rent the mountains, and brake in pieces the rocks before the LORD; [but] the LORD [was] not in the wind: and after the wind an earthquake; [but] the LORD [was] not in the earthquake: And after the earthquake a fire; [but] the LORD [was] not in the fire: and after the fire a still small voice." I Kings 19:11-12
Have you heard that voice? The still small voice of the Lord? I have found that so many Christians today don't even believe that God could speak to us at all!! They think He only speaks through His Word(which He definitely does!), or that the time for God to speak to us is over, and we are only to get His 'voice' through His chosen speaker (usually the pastor or priest). Or maybe they believe that God just gives us 'feelings' that we're in His will, etc.
I used to even belive this. That it was only through a ' feeling' or through the Bible or through someone else. But all that changed. I had read of others speaking to God and 'hearing' from Him. I thought they must be super spiritual, or had some special 'connection'. They certainly had a different relationship than I did with Him, because I certainly wasn't hearing from Him like that.
For many years I struggled to pray, feeling like my prayers were hitting the ceiling. I never felt 'satisfied' after I prayed, or even answered. Oh I gave it lip service. I said i knew God heard me. I said I knew He was answering, etc. But really deep in my heart I thought "Nothing ever changes. It doesn't really matter if I pray or not."
A few weeks ago, I was just fed up. I'd had it. I was exhausted, things were in chaos. My dh was doing something that upset me greatly, and no amount of praying was changing it. My children were acting wildly, no matter how much 'training' and 'disciplining' I did.
I'd been reading another blog at www.homeschoolblogger.com/CamillaAnderson . Let me just say, if you haven't been there, read her articles, you are MISSING OUT!!! This woman's blog is AWESOME!! Anyway, in one of her articles she speaks of a time when she simply told God 'i quit. If you want things to change, you'll have to do it, because nothing I'm doing is helping. I just quit.' and God said 'duh'.
I fell down on my knees and said 'God, I've tried for years to discern Your will. I know you want me to do the things the Bible says. I know you want me to be a Godly wife, and a Godly mother. The day I married, your will became for me to be a Godly wife. And the day my first child was born, your will became for me to be a Godly mother. But I can't. I've tried. I've prayed, I've cried, I've tried so many differnt methods, and I've read every book. I've tried to figure out HOW to go about accomplishing your will and I just can't do it. So I just quit. I quit trying to be the perfect wife. I quit trying to be the perfect mother. I quit trying to be a perfect Christian. I can't do it. So I'm just doing nothing until you speak to me so clearly I have no doubt AT ALL that it is you. I want to hear an actual voice in my head or out loud or something." And then I just knelt there and cried. Minutes passed and I heard nothing. Then I heard a still small voice say 'Get on your face before me'. I did that and I prayed much the same as I had just prayed before, with much weeping. Suddenly I heard God say 'All I ever wanted you to do was give up control."
Since that moment, God has spoken to me every single time I've asked Him anything, and sometimes when I don't!! LOL He has told me what to do with my 21 month old son, what to do to fix things with my dh, exactly how to keep my house clean, what to read, what to watch on televsion, and what things to do online. Giving up control meant asking God before doing anything at all. That was difficult for me, but a good lesson. He's been teaching me so much, my heart is overflowing, and sometimes my brain is on overload LOL.
It has been the most amazing few weeks of my life. I have never felt so at ease, or at peace. Praise God that He DOES still speak to us in that still small voice. He can speak to you too, if you simply humble yourself to give Him total control and give all to Him.
In Christ,
Samantha
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• Mar. 8, 2007 - Untitled Comment