His Abiding Love

• Apr. 7, 2007 - Blessings or Curses

How do you see your children? Oh certainly when the pastor says "Children are a blessing" everyone nods and agrees. But to really understand how a person 'sees' these 'blessings' we need to listen to how they speak about them. Ever heard these statements coming from YOUR mouth?

1. My kids drive me crazy
2. I can't WAIT for (public/private) school to start.
3. I put her in daycare b/c I needed a 'break'
4. I work b/c I'd go 'nuts' if I stayed at home with my kids all the time
5. You hear someone is expecting their 5th, 6th, or 7th. "She must be crazy. I can barely handle my two."
6. You kids are driving me nuts.
7. Can you just GO PLAY already?
8. I need some 'me' time
9. My kids are different. Yours may have first time obedience, but MINE are strong willed.
10. I get so sick of pickign up after them, doing things for them. I'm tired of being on call 24/7
11. They think I'm their servant or something!! When do *I* get some 'service?'

ugh. We've all at least thought one of those statements.

Yes, even me. This is NOT a Biblical way to view our children. We may say they are blessings, but we ACT as if they are curses, crosses to bear, nuisances, and that each 'stage' is something to get through.

Watch what you say. Please mothers. You do not see that little child's face when you brush them off and tell them to 'go play already'. You do not see that crushed look on a litte 8 yr old's face who thinks she is mom's pride and joy, her biggest helper, when her mother says she is 'driving her crazy'.

NEVER say a negative word about your child to anyone. Unless you are asking advice on parenting, and even then, never say or ask it in front of your child. It is so incredibly hurtful to them. Ladies, I'm preaching to myself here too.

It hardens our child, every time their parents talk about them as if they are nuisances, every time their parents say they need a 'break' from 'these kids', every time mom says she 'can't wait til school starts again'. It hurts them, and they start to build a protective wall abou their hearts. They become hardened to pleasing their mom and dad. They become hardened to wanting children even. They grow up with the attitude that children are a 'bother'.

I am not saying it is wrong to want to go out alone with your husband ocasionally. I am not saying it's wrong to want to take a bath without 4 people knockign on the door and saying 'mom!!' etc. What I'm saying is that we should be careful to not say we 'need' to get away from out kids. We should make it a 'fun' time for them with grandma and grandpa (i don't use sitters, EVER. Grandma and Grandpa are trustworthy, no one else. That's just how we are in our home), and when we pick them up it should be with great expressions of 'Oh we missed you SO much!!' and 'We are SO glad to see you' etc. Make them feel as if you just couldn't make it without them.

Treat your children like blessings, not curses. Talk about them like they are wonderful blessings in your life, a gift from God. Not a bother and a curse from satan.

In Christ, Samantha