A Mom Just Like You.....My Journey through Life with 8 Children....

• Dec. 11, 2007 - Getting it Done with so Many Little Ones.....(Repost)

Getting it Done with so Many Little Ones.....(Repost) (This is one of my 1 yr old twins helping fold clothes. Well at least she thinks she is.) I wrote this post about 2-1/2 years ago so much has changed in children's ages and stuff but the concept and base of what I shared is the same. As I sit here and read an email from a dear friend of mine my mind races  back to the days when things feel like they are falling apart.  She wants to know how I get it all done with so many little ones.  Well let me tell you I don’t really get it ALL DONE  but I get what I am supposed to get done accomplished and that is what counts.  I put my children to work and we work as a team.  I tell them we are a family and we need to work as a family.  Our job as mothers is never done ladies.  There is always so much to do but what I have learned is to prioritize the things that need to be done so I am sure to get the most crucial things done everyday.  The decision is real simple when you are faced with should I sit and read this great magazine I have been waiting for or do I sit and do math with my 10 yr old who has been waiting on me for quite sometime?  It is as simple as that. If you plan things right you will still get to sit and read that great magazine you wanted to read too.   I have learned to make lists and to prioritize the things that need to be done so my husband, myself and my children can all feel successful. Mothers may I ask you, are you feeling overwhelmed?  Disorganized? Do you feel like you are out of Gods will for your family?  Do you feel like you are just doing the motions and you have forgotten your purpose.  Are you doing all you can to just keep your head above water?  If the answers are yes to more than one of these questions you just need a new focus with some order in your life.  You need to renew yourself and focus on a plan.  The plan that God has for your family.  When we are doing Gods will and Gods plan we cannot go wrong.  When God made the world He did things in order and He made the world orderly, notice how everything has its time and its place.  Seasons come and go every year at the same time. Plants grow new leaves and shed them again at the same time every year. Not only your children but you too need order. We need to know what is coming next. We need to know there will come and look forward to a rest time if we are weary.  We need to know and look forward to a time to sit read and grow in the word.  How about having a time we look forward to to just sit and enjoy an encouraging magazine or a blog we like to read.  We need the security of knowing what happens next too instead of guessing.  Ladies I have come to the conclusion that we are nothing more than little girls who have grown into a woman's body and have learned many things through our years of growing up.  We have become seasoned with time but we are still those same little girls who still enjoy having security and enjoy doing things we like to do.  When we live by our emotions we have no stability because we are not following a plan of any kind.  Living by emotions can only mess us up.  What are we teaching our children when we live by emotions?  What if you only get up when you feel like it instead of everyday at the same time?  What are you teaching your boys who watch you do this.  What happens when they grow up and have a family to take care of.  If they had to work for someone else do you think that person will allow your son to come in whenever he felt like it?  NO, he would be expected to be there the same time everyday.  If he went in when he felt like it then he is living by his emotions. He is living for the moment and moments change. There is no security living that way.  I can guarantee you he will not keep his job that way.  When we live how we know we are supposed to we have the security of knowing what will follow after the step we are on. There is order and sequence and it brings great peace to a whole family. I don’t know about you but I get very insecure myself when I feel like my life/home is a mess.  When I feel like things have become chaotic and have no order, no purpose, I start feeling out of sorts myself.  When we were moving that is exactly how life felt and I didn’t like it at all.  I missed the stability of knowing we ate at this time, we did devotionals at that time and the little ones took naps at this time and we have quiet time at that time and do schooling at this time. Not only did it effect me during the move but the children automatically showed signs of insecurity, their worlds were turned upside down.  They would whine or behave in ways that were out of character for them.  In general they would just do things they normally do not do and I know it was due to the insecurity of moving and everything that used to be familiar was now gone.  Everything was different now. Everything changed, nothing was the same anymore and it really threw everybody for a big loop.  When God created the world He knew we would need order and cycles. Ecc 3:1   To every thing there is a season, and a time to every purpose under the heaven:  God, our creator knew this was necessary for us. So where do we go from here. You say I have not done any of this and my life is a mess.  My children are always out of sorts and very insecure so the lack of discipline shows in their lives and mine.  How do I change things now.  How do I do this when I have so many children.  Please mothers do not fret.  Mr 9:23 Jesus said unto him, If thou canst believe, all things are possible to him that believeth.  It is all a matter of believing and watch things change.  I have 8 living children and they range from 17-1 yrs old.  Now my 17 yr old is my oldest but my second oldest is only 10 yrs old so there is a big gap in between there.  So even though I may have the help of my oldest who is 17 I still have 7 children between the ages 1-10 yrs of age.  So believe me there is a lot to do in my  house.  We home school and we make all our own food from scratch and we use cloth diapers.  We do laundry everyday and now in this new house we are trying to set up a clothes line so we can hang our clothes out to dry.(something we were not allowed to do in our old house due to covenants)  We are also working on tilling the ground so we can grow crops when the time is here to do so. We are looking into getting farm animals now that we just bought a farm to live on.  We have 80 acres of land to care for along with 2 barns, a chicken coupe, corrals, lots of rolling hills, a large 6000 sq ft home, and lots of barn animals that will be coming soon. We want to get dairy goats so we can milk them and have our own milk instead of buying it like we currently do. This all has to be cared for by me, and my children on a daily basis.  This will all take time out of our day.  If I don’t set my day up right according to Gods plan I will never accomplish all the things God would have me do.  I am a true believer that if we are doing Gods will He will fit into our day the things HE wants us to be doing.  He will help us accomplish the tasks He would want us to do.    If we are failing at accomplishing our tasks maybe we have our priorities set up wrong.  Go to God and seek His wisdom, seek His guidance as to where you are going wrong.  He will help you for He wants you to succeed! He wants you to do the things He has planned for you to do.  Do you see here ladies that if I am able to get all these things done with 8 children, with the guidance of my Lord Jesus then we can get you going on the things you need to do if you are looking for order.  I never grew up with much order.  My life was very different and my mom worked.  I did what I wanted when I wanted.  Not because my mom let me but because she wasn’t there to enforce her rules.  She had to work because my parents divorced and so because of that I took advantage of her not being there.  I did what I wanted when wanted and I always did as I pleased and believe me I pay for it today.  It is hard to change bad habits.  I long for order and such to come natural but it doesn’t and that is why it is important to train it into your children while they are still young.  Or they will battle their own will for the rest of their lives.  Even though I want and desire order my old habits want to rule and it makes me want to live for the moment as to what my selfish will feels like doing at that time and that would only harm me if I was to give in to that.  So I pray for Gods strength and I make myself do the things I don’t always enjoy doing.  So I know if I can do this you sure can ladies!  I know you can!!! So lets start from the beginning, shall we?  First thing we need to make sure is in check is your attitude. Are you saying, “This is too hard!  I cannot do this.  I don’t want to do this.   I wont have any time to myself!  Well ladies don’t despair we can fit time in for you for Mom needs to have some pleasure time too.  You need to be regenerated and refreshed in order to make this work.  You just need to learn balance and not be selfish in wanting more time than is feasible.  Stick to your routine and you will be successful.  I am not one who lives off of a time schedule.  It is just too hard.  If my schedule says 8am I am to be eating breakfast but one of my babies has a bad diaper rash so I need to spend time cooling down her owies and rubbing salve on it and rocking her so I don’t get to the table until 8:15 then I have just messed up my whole day.  I will become frantic and then I am going to be irritable, edgy, snappy and pushing people around in order to accomplish my schedule.  Mothers that is not the answer.  Make a skeleton routine based off of what you have sought out from the Lord and based off of what your husband says and follow that with general time frames. When you do it that way you can only win and so does your family.  Always seek your husbands input for he sees things differently then we do.  We see into things with more emotions than they do.   Your husband is way more logical and because of that they can tend to solve problems better than we can when we are all emotionally wrapped up in a problem at the time.  So seek his guidance you will be glad you did.  If for some reason he doesn’t want to give input then just go back to seeking just the Lord, He will never fail. Always pray first and ask God to show you what is most important to accomplish in your days.  Let Him reveal His will for your family.  Try not to copy somebody else's life for God has a different plan for your family then He does for mine. Each trees leaves changes colors and loses it leaves at different times than other trees. You don’t see every tree doing the exact same thing at the exact same times and that is because they are all unique and live accordingly.  Each flower is similar but it is unique in its own cycle it follows and so you should do the same. Live your own life’s purpose and you will see how happy you and your family become. Ladies make a list off of what God reveals to you.  Prioritize the importance of each item and then make a routine based on that.  If you need help or suggestions email me I would love to help you along.  One of the main keys when people ask me how I do it with so many little ones is this.  I include them in what I do.  Let me give you an example.  Last night I had my oldest children peel bowls and bowls of garlic for me.  I was dehydrating some, jarring some, sauteing some and so on.  Well I always crush my cloves with a knife first to release the healing properties of the garlic. So while I was doing that my 4 yr old daughter was right by me placing the garlic down for me to crush and then picking up the crushed garlic and putting it in another bowl.  My two 1 yr old twins girls were in the kitchen next to me playing magnetic letters on the fridge and my 2 yr old daughter was helping hand us the garlic at times and other times she was told to baby sit her twin sisters to be sure they didn’t leave the kitchen.  She is great at it and is so gentle with her baby sisters.  She is a great baby sitter something you might not think to do but I always have her think she is baby sitting them on her own and she always does an awesome job. Include your children and even though, like I said before, it may be more time consuming at first to let them work with you because it is easier to do it alone.  You will later save much time down the road when they are doing these tasks alone because you invested the time into training them and teaching them how to do jobs you once did.  So yes it takes more time at first to teach and train but you save much time later when they take over these jobs and it frees you up to do other things.  Also you are doing your children an injustice if you wont take the time to train them.  They will greatly suffer from your laziness to teach and train them!  So include them always in all you do and both you and them will reap the benefits of doing so. Let me give you another example.  I made big batches of cookie dough the other day.  We were making them into balls and freezing them in baggies by the dozen so when we want them we just pull them out of the freezer and cook them up.   My 4 yr old and 2 yr old were helping me ball them up and put them in baggies while my twins were sitting on the floor eating a snack and playing with pots and pans.  Even though they are just playing my twins are still watching us and learning because they are by my side.  They watch and learn because it is natural for them to want to see what mommy and big sisters are doing.  Meanwhile all my boys are  working and doing stuff to help me in the kitchen. They all have a job.  Like they were peeling the garlic and onions so I could dehydrate them or jar them or do whatever I was going to do to them.  Mothers include your children in your work loads.  Make them work, teach them, train them and they will soon know how to do all you do.  They will soon be able to take over the jobs you are having to do yourself.  It is the best investment you will ever make! My oldest son can make a meal from scratch from start to finish.  He knows how to do it just because he has always worked alongside of me when I made food over all these years.  He enjoys cooking and I was not going to discourage that at all!  All my boys just love to cook and they just love to be by my side whenever I am cooking.  They watch, help and learn.  Because of this I can usually count on them making some meals to help out . My 5 yr old and 7 ‘s jobs are to do breakfast and or lunches.  My 10 yr old son helps them but he doesn’t enjoy doing it as much as his brothers do.  He would prefer to put together organizing lists for us. He is my organizer.   Now just because they know how to cook, clean, take care of a baby and take care of the home doesn’t make them less of a boy.  They also like to climb trees, rocks and anything else they can climb, they like to ride motorcycles, use  a slingshot and shoot wild animals, they like to shoot guns for hunting and go fishing. They like to wrestle, play ball and all other things little boys like to do. So don’t think your boys will become sissies if you teach them to take care of things in the house because it will only broaden their skills and make them better husbands and fathers in years to come. Our children all have their gifts, their strengths and their weaknesses.  You need to see what they are and set up your schedule accordingly to those things.  Every child is also assigned a younger child to help with.  There is no way 1 person can take care of 8 little people on their own and do all the other responsibilities that come along with being a mother. That is why it is important mothers to make your children help.  Make them carry their own weight and by making them do so they will grow into incredible people.  They will know and learn so much and they will be able to do so many things.  That is the only way I do it my dear friends.  If it wasn’t for delegating and including my children I wouldn’t get any of it done. I would never have a single moment of my own and I would probably be crazy by now.  Utilize your children and make routines!  Include them in your routine and make them earn their keep.  It will not hurt them but it will surely make them grow!  My older ones know how to put a baby/toddler down for a nap. They know how to sing to them, read to them, play with them, rock them, change their diaper and love them to sleep.  They did this for me when I was in the hospital for 2 months.  They put the littlest ones down for their naps and took care of them.  So utilize your older ones right now to go care for the little ones.  Have them take them off to another room right next to where you are and have them read a story to the little ones and play some learning games with them while you go take a short needed rest.  When you are done  start by making your routines on paper and get going on giving your children the gift of experience!  You will never regret doing so mothers!  I know you can do this because if I can you certaininly can too! Dearest Lord, Please help these wonderful ladies to see your wisdom in teaching and training our children from a young age.  Back in bible times the difference between children of that time era and today is that they were required to work.  They didn’t have play time all day they worked and were part of the family.  Women of today are so tired Lord because we have gotten so far away from utilizing the children you have given us when it comes to them helping carry the families workload. Children will be selfish if we let them so help us to teach them to work so they will grow into productive adults not spoiled, lazy, selfish ones. Give these ladies hope and a vision for where they can be in a short period of time if they will just take the time to teach and train these precious little ones you have entrusted to them.  I know Lord you will give their weary souls rest in you! In Jesus name I pray Amen!

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