I would like to buy $3 worth of God, please, not enough to explode  my soul or disturb my sleep, but just enough to equal a cup of warm milk or a snooze in the sunshine. I don't want enough of Him to make me love a black man or pick beets with a migrant. I want ecstasy, not transformation; I want the warmth of the womb, not a new birth. I want a pound of the Eternal in a paper sack.
I would like to buy $3 worth of God, please.
Wilbur Rees, "$3 Worth of God", quoted in Joanna Weaver's Having a Mary Heart in a Martha World

How much of God do you want? Enough to make you feel warm and fuzzy inside like a crackling fire in the hearth on a cold winter's day? Or enough to make you feel two steps out of your comfort zone when you sit at a stop light and dare to make eye contact with the homeless man holding a sign at the corner (while your kids ask, "What can we do for him?")?

This week in our Bible Study this question was asked. And I think it's a good question...one we should all go out on a limb to ask ourselves. Other questions that have come to my mind since are....how far do I really want to follow Christ? Would I have been the man who carried the cross for Christ on the road through Jerusalem? Christ said to his disciples that they would have to take up their cross and follow Him (Luke 9:23)....how big of a cross would I pick up? One too small that I'd hardly break a sweat? One just big enough, that it teeters on laboring my underused muscles? OR, will I pick up a cross that's so big, and so rough, and so awkward, that the only way I could possibly carry it would be through the power and help of someone whose been through it before....someone who desires to walk that dirty, rocky path with me, encouraging me, loving me, and giving me strength.

These are tough questions for me. For if I'm really honest with myself, I'll admit that I'm scared to death of committing that kind of devotion. I can't help but wonder selfishly, well, just how big are you talking Lord? Can you give me some real dimensions here? What kind of wood is it made out of? Hardwood? Or softwood? Jagged? Or sanded down? Is this like the old Roman cross? Or one of little olive wood types that the kids get from camp in the summer? I can quiver in my shoes to think about the possibilities. Moreso, I don't want to think about them.

It would take the kind of devotion that Christ spoke of in John 12, verses 25-26: "The  man who loves his life will lose it, while the man who hates his life in this world will keep it for eternal life. Whoever serves me must follow me, and where I am, my servant also will be. My Father will honor the one who serves me."

That kind of devotion would take a kind of blind faith. A faith so true, that it remains solid through any crisis or circumstance, no matter how challenging. Sometimes I wonder if God calls those with that kind of faith to carry bigger crosses. Because He knows already that their faith will endure through it. He's given them a cross so huge, that to carry it and remain faithful would inevitably show the glory of God. It would be a regular resurrection of Lazarus. It would act as a life lesson to all the spectators around, and perhaps change hearts and attitudes and lives. It would draw those who are lost closer, because they desire more then anything to have that kind of faith...to have something or Someone to really trust in. They've learned the hard way in life that the world is merciless, vendictive and complacent. And they long to share in that joy and contentment and trust.

We've been praying for a 3yo little girl named Gracie, who was recently diagnosed with leukemia. They are dear friends to a friend of mine in our Bible Study. I can't emphasize enough how powerful of a witness this family has been to hundreds, maybe even thousands. To give you a little background information, they are missionaries in Thailand. Many months ago, the dad was diagnosed with MS. So their family had just started to get used to the implications of that. About a month ago, Gracie came down with a very high fever that went on for several days. When mysterious bruising began to appear, they decided to take her to another doctor. After many tests, the results came back with leukemia as the culprit.

I don't have to tell you how big of a cross this family is bearing. But I do want to share how their faith in God's sovereignty over this storm is revealing the glory of God to all they come into contact with. Several times a day they cling to the prayers of the multitudes. They praise God every step of the way, trusting in His mercy and will, even at their darkest hours. Each day of God's provision, shines light on their blind faith. This is a recent update of their prayer requests ~ 

You are a chosen people, a royal priesthood, a holy nation, a people belonging to God, that you may declare the praises of being brought from darkness into His wonderful light.  Once you were not a people, but now you are the people of God; once you had not received mercy, but now you have received mercy."  1 Peter 2:9-10

 

Our communion with the Father is paying dividends.  The mercy we have received is growing daily.  Thank you so much for your prayers.  They have been a chorus of praises from being brought out of darkness into His wonderful light.  We must continue to pray fervently.  Praising God for His invitation to fellowship so closely with Him.

 Jamie called this morning with thanks for the prayers.  Gracie has had two good days in a row.  Her temperature has stayed down and she was able to talk with mom (Susan) on the phone.  She received a platelet infusion as well as an intramuscular shot as part of her therapy.  Both of these went well.  

 Jamie asked that we pray for her blood to be cleansed.  She currently has an infection that is affecting her intestines.  Pray for mercy on her body's processing mechanisms.

 Gracie has slept for two nights straight.  Rejoice in the rest He giving to her.  

  

"Teacher do you not care that we are perishing?"

Then He arose and rebuked the wind, and said to the sea, "Peace, be still!"  And the wind ceased and there was great calm.  Mark 5:38-39

 *Rejoice that Gracie is in God's hands.

*Rejoice that 'even the wind and the sea obey Him.'

*Rejoice that doors are being opened at UK Children's Hospital.

*Petition God for continued rest for Gracie.

*Petition God for His wisdom to be known to Jamie, Christina and the Medical Staff.

*Petition God for traveling mercy for Pauline and Hannah as they plan to return around March 12.

Ye of little faith, I say to myself. What magnificent glory to God this family is revealing to the people around them. What faithful followers of Christ they are. What an enormous cross they have accepted to carry in His name. I am one of those who can learn. I am one of those who's desire for that same faith can compell me to step closer to the source of the light they shine so brightly.

So....how much of God do I want? Whatever it takes to make me more like Him.

I pray God stretches me today. I pray He searches my heart, tests me to find any anxious thoughts. Sees if there are any offensive ways within my soul that I need deliverance from (and I know there are). O God, I pray You will lead me in Your way everlasting.

In the Precious Name of Jesus,

 Deborah

PS - Please take a few moments today to lift up little Gracie and her family. God bless you.