While on vacation a MONTH AGO, my phone got a bit "damp" in the bottom of my purse when I inadvertantly spilled a coke...in my purse.  Fried.

Of course, my contract w/Verizon was not up for 3 more weeks, so I could pay big bucks for a phone or wait.  Being who I am, I opted to wait.  And wait.  And wait!

I'm still waiting. 

When my contract did come due, I marched myself off to the nearest Verizon store only to be told, to my utter humiliation, in front of strangers and my children...

"Your husband has to be here.  We can't talk to you about it because it's in his name.  No. We can't call him.  He has to be here.  You're just the wife.  You have no say."  Okay.  So I added the last two.  You get the point.  Strangers looked at me in utter horror to see what I would do.  I know I must have been purple with rage, but I bit my tongue.  Then...I couldn't even call anyone to complain!!  Just perfect!

Didn't wives used to have a say?  Weren't husband and wife signatures interchangeable.  My mom signed for my dad all the time!  Aren't we ONE? 

Fat chance!

"Mommy!  How come you don't have a new phone?"  Because the mean man (I mean teenager!) says I'm not as good as your Daddy!

So, while he was away for a full week business trip, I had no phone.  Oh.  And did I mention, we don't use a landline phone?  Major drag, this no phone business!

I handle all the bills.  My name is on the contract.  I'm just not the PRIMARY name!  Can you believe that? 

Of course, the credit card companies are the same.  "We can't talk to you!" 

So, I'm changing my name to Ray.  There is such perfection in simplicity!