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Feb. 8, 2006
Today I turn 40
I can't believe I am 40. When my husband turned 40 it put me into a tail spin. I questioned everything we were doing. Was owning the business right, should he go back into the ministry, were we where God wanted us.... For nearly 2 years I had his mid-life crisis. Finally he convinced me that we were where he wanted to be.
Now that I am turning 40 a little over 4 years later I have different thoughts. I have always been sure that I am doing what I should be. Raising and teaching our 6 children is the best job I could have. Learning to be a help meet to Mike is where I should be.
The questioning for me has been more about if I am pleasing God. I have been working through this for about 2 years but especially since I turned 39. I knew that within the last year of my 30's I wanted to make pivotal changes. I didn't want to enter the second half of my life where I was. I wanted growth and I wanted to see lots of it by the time I was 40.
The first change I wanted to make was the visible one. I wanted to lose at least 100 pounds. The rest were more personal. I wanted to be consistenly getting up in the mornings and having my quiet times. I didn't want those quiet times to ever go back to clocking time in with God but to continuously be life changing. I wanted to develop my prayer life from near non-existent concentrated time (I prayed some but always on the run) to more of my quiet time spent on prayer. I also wanted to learn to use a prayer journal.
How have I done? I guess I have done okay.
I have been pretty consistent with my quiet time although I slacked off some over the summer. I would say that most of the time what I am learning it life changing. There is so much there to change that it isn't hard to find something that needs to be worked on.
My prayer life has gotten much better in the last couple of months. I questioned many times on how to do a journal. Two friends helped me out with that one. One bought and sent me a journal, from Canada, and said "just do it" (thanks Rosanne)! The other shared how she writes in her's and it seemed so simple and straightforward. I realized from her that it didn't have to drawn out and flowery which is great since I am not a drawn out and flowery writer (thanks Brandy)! I am seeing so much spiritual growth within me from spending that time every morning sitting before the Lord.
Now for the outward change. I lost 23 pounds after my birthday last year. Then I gained back 13 of it. I started again last week and I am down 4 pounds! I hope to stick with it this time. I am leaning on the Lord to work in me for these changes instead of myself. I spend a good amount of time praying about it each morning. He has taken away another desire I had in the past couple of years that I thought would never change and really didn't even want to change but He did. I know He can also take away the desire I have to overeat.
So it's on to the second half of my life and all that the Lord has in store for me.
Onward!
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Feb. 8, 2006 - Happy Birthday!
Cathy :o)