Last night our oldest had a game about an hour from our house. 

We were about 20 minutes down the road and out of the last town we were going to go through when I noticed we were running low on gas.  I did think there was one gas station on the interstate between where we were going to get on and where we needed to get off.

When we approached the exit with the one and only gas station my dh felt we could make it the few more miles it would take to our exit.  We were running tight on time and didn't want to take that extra 10 minutes to get off, put $5 in and get back on.  So on we went. 

About 5 miles down the road we began chugging.  Since it was 5:00, traffic was terrible.  I got on the shoulder and we tried to make it as far as we could.  It wasn't far.  We ended up near the sign that said 1 mile to the next exit.  We were 4 miles from the exit we needed. 

Thank goodness my parents were also going to this game and called just as we got on the shoulder.  They didn't see us at the game and wondered where we were.  Now they knew.  They took off to the gas station near them and bought a gas can and filled it with 2 gallons of gas.  Then they took off to meet us. 

The problem with meeting us was they were going the opposite direction and would need to turn around somewhere.  The next exit was about 7 miles away...back where the gas station was.  Finally we saw them go by and we just had to wait until they turned around and came back.  As they were driving on they realized where the next exit was and began looking for U-turn areas.  You know the ones that say, "No U turns allowed".  Finally they found one and didn't have traffic behind them so they went for it.  By now they were 4-5 minutes beyond us.

Finally they got to us and we put those 2 gallons in our tank.  It took 5 trys before it started.  It seemed to be running fine until I pulled out on the highway and started to go.  Then it chugged and chugged.  Finally it took off and we made it to the gas station.  We put 2 gallons in on the interstate and 29 gallons at the gas station.  We have a 35 gallon tank.  Apparently you can't use the last 4 gallons of gas in your tank.  So my husbands figuring wasn't wrong.  We just didn't know you can't use it all. 

In the end it cost us 5 more dollars because of having to buy a gas can and about 30 more minutes than if we had just stopped at the first gas station.  I think we will be stopping next time.

Yesterday we got back to our routine. We had taken off just after Thanksgiving and it was time to start up again. I love having that time off but it sure is nice to have a routine to the day again.

We started the day with family Bible time and letting the dc know of some new disiciplines we will be using if school is not completed as it should be. I have been way too lax with my dc in the past years of school. I have allowed them to get behind and then revamp the assignment sheets. We are beginning to feel the full effects of that method with one in the last half of her Junior year and not doing the work she should be at this point. I am all for a delayed start in education and letting them learn at their own pace but it has to be balanced with teaching them to be disciplined and I have not done that. Hopefully they will be getting the point now.

Later in the day I had 2 with basketball practice and instead of making a trip to drop them off and then a trip back to pick them up I decided to get my monthly shopping done. I had hoped to do it over the weekend but that didn't happen. I was able to get everything done, except the 2 stores in another town, and get the library books for the week during the 2 hours they were at practice! I was wore out by the time I got home though. I put the cold stuff away, ate dinner, put the little ones to bed and relaxed. I will take care of the explosion of groceries on my kitchen floor this morning.

On New Year's Eve I wrote out some goals for 2006.  They were basic goals of reading through the Bible, more time in prayer, cleaner house, lose weight, speak quieter and more gently....

Now I am running into the same problem I always have.  Trying to find the balance.  Normally I make these goals and then set out to do them perfectly.  I know I can't but I get all tied up in doing them and before I know it I am riding myself as hard as I can because I want them all done right...everyday...no room for mistakes.  The end result is that I give up and make no changes because I can't make perfect changes.

I have told myself that this year I will be balanced.  It is time to relax and at least be making steps toward where I want to be.  Small steps toward change are better than defeat and doing nothing.   At least I keep telling myself that.

I haven't been blogging much because I have been too busy reading. 

I found a new blog:

http://holyexperience.blogspot.com/

I started back at the beginning of her blog (September 2004) and have not gotten far because I keep rereading the entries.  It is definitely worth a look if you haven't before.

A few years ago our family needed to travel to my in-laws on Christmas Day.  I was always of the opinion that we needed to be opening presents with our dc on Christmas Day.   I wasn't too happy about the plans but my husbands siblings would be there so this is the way it would be.

Our normal routine on Christmas was to open presents at home, be at my grandparents by 12:00 and be at the other grandparents by 5:00.  It made for a very busy day and not much time at home.  I didn't like all the running but at least we were at home opening presents in the morning.

Since I was going to need to change our plans for the year we decided to make a big day of it.  A couple of days before Christmas we opened presents in the morning and had a big Christmas dinner.  I had never made a Christmas dinner before so I loved it.  The dc liked being home all day and eating a meal together that we could then have leftovers from later in the day.  It was very relaxing.

The next year rolled around and we decided we liked the previous year so well we were going to do it again.  We made Christmas Eve Day our Christmas Day. 

Our old tradition on Christmas Eve was to go to the service at church and then come home to pajama presents under the tree.  Our new tradition is to drive around looking at Christmas lights and then come home to pajamas under the tree.  This year they also have a new Christmas movie there that we will watch before going to bed.

On Christmas Eve Day we get up and open presents and then I make dinner.  They play with their toys and watch new videos or play new games on the computer.  It is a very relaxing enjoyable day.  In the evening we then go to our Christmas Eve Service.

On Christmas morning we now have a large breakfast and read the Christmas story together.

What started out as being an inconvenience has now become the only way I would do it.  We are able to enjoy a day together and then focus on the true meaning on Christmas morning.

I know that is a title to a book but I have never read it.

For most of my adult life I feel I have not lived it on purpose.  Instead I always seem to be floating along making decisions based on today without any look to the past or the future. 

In my defense most of those years were spent pregnant and nursing without good vitamins.  I have learned I don't think clearly without good vitamins when I am just taking care of myself and eating well.  For many many years I was carrying a little one in me or nursing plus not eating well.  I seemed to be in a fog most of the time. 

My baby is now 3.5 and there doesn't seem to be another one coming along any time soon.  I have been lifting out of the fog for the last year and am ashamed to see the fruits of my parenting in my oldest children.

I have been more determined to live my life "on purpose" and this school year I have raised the bar on what is expected with school work.  I have also raised the bar on respect and many other things.  My husband has always wanted it this way but unfortunately he had to work and it fell to me to be the in home example of what he has wanted.  I was a shameful example. 

Now that I have determined to "live life on purpose" my oldest 2 girls are suffering.  Last night we had a talk about some areas where they were not doing what I expected.  This is a talk we have been having at least weekly since the beginning of the school year. Unfortunately, I have fallen back to the way I have handled them....nagging.  Yes, I am a nagger to try to get my dc to obey.  I don't like to discipline and without even thinking I do everything I can to get them to obey except the way I should be doing it.  I have changed with the younger ones over the last few years but not with the older 2.  I seem to think that if I talk with them they will understand and do it.  Not happening. 

So now we have a line up of disciplines and I plan on using them because I am purposefully parenting.  I am sad that I have not been doing this all along but I can't let them leave here without changing them...and me.

For weeks we have been running around here way too much and not getting all the things done that I need to.  It seems I do most of my work after I have forgotten and then have to hurry and do it late.  Very frustrating.

I got my Vision Forum catalog during this time and saw a CD that caught my eye called Twenty Four Hours is All You Get. It is a workshop that was given by Susan Bradrick.  I have listened to it twice now and it is excellent at getting to what biblically should be on our schedules.  Yes, I said schedules.  God is a god of order and therefore we should be orderly too.  It is hard to be orderly when you don't have a plan for the day.  She quoted Elisabeth Elliott which was excellent:

The earlier parents begin to make God's laws of order, beauty & quietness comprehensible to their children the sooner they will acquire good strong notions of what is so basic to real godliness, self denial.

I want my dc to learn to be orderly but also quiet.  We can't be quiet when we are constantly running.  Rachel asked me the other day why we were not a quiet family.  She didn't mean quiet as in level of noise but quiet as in not always leaving and running to do things.  What perception she had.

Setting up a schedule isn't too difficult for me. I like organizing things. My problem is sticking with the schedule.  They never include everything and it is always so hard to work all those things in.  According to Susan I don't need to be looking at how to get those things worked in but instead need to be saying no if they do not fit within my biblical priorities.  Most of the time they don't fit within the priorities.

I have spent this past week looking at what my priorities are and I made a schedule based on them.  I also set up a more comprehensive chore chart and made it easier to use.  Lastly, I worked on a master shopping list.  The kids are really enthralled with it and think it looks fun! 

Today I am cleaning and getting my house ready and hopefully Monday we will start running with the schedule, doing what God wants me to do, and stop running everywhere else.

I will let you know how it goes.  Susan mentions that they have used the same basic schedule for 12-13 years.  I hope to have the same success.