One Big Family | |
Are boys or girls "easier"Apples and oranges--that's what it boils down to. Girls and boys are easier, only in different ways. I love "paling around" with my girls for some things (we can talk about feelings and relationships), and my boys for others (we don't have to talk about feelings and relationships--how refreshing just to discuss "stuff"). These are my general findings as they grow:Girls--less aggressive, more compliant, stay focused Boys--more loyal, less complicated, say what they mean As far as when they are little, it just depends on the personality. I have had some little girls who were "high energy" and consequently high-maintenance babies and toddlers, and little boys who were compliant and patient. If I ever had any hard, fast rules about boys and girls, they disappeared a number of children ago! After having so many flavors of little people, I never take it for granted that I know anything--always discovering something new! Good thing I have the wisdom of God to help me, or I'd be totally confused. More baby picturesHere are some shots of our Lorilee--already 3 weeks old!   You know what? It never gets old--babies are just precious gifts! She's here!I am right now holding our precious baby--14th child, tenth little girl! God has been so gracious to all of us!After our little "false alarm", all was quiet--just spent a few days catching up on rest, etc. My dear husband was able to get extra work done for the office, and he felt strongly to get some monthly reporting done for the office on Saturday, instead of waiting for Monday--wonder why?... Sunday morning I thought we had better make church for sure. I was experiencing some unorganized contracts throughout the morning routine, along with some "shakes", but was too distracted by church prep (major stuff around here) to pay much attention. Was too preoccupied to pay much attention to the service, sort of "into myself", needing to shut the world out. It was really good we went, though, as we were able to minister to some of our dear friends who are working through some important issues, and so it was God that we went. Meanwhile, I was soooo uncomfortable. One lady actually asked last week if I were going to "explode", and even the nurse at the OB office said that she was going to be watching for a story in the papers announcing the birth of the world's largest baby! That's why I was more than a little elated when the unorganized contractions began to become quite organized--from 7 to 5 to 3, etc. I waddled upstairs to where my dear husband was watching football and announced that he may have to finish watching his game in the hospital. Then my 16yo took on the task of helping me to clock everything, and followed me faithfully around the house with a watch. Things began to look more promising as the contracts didn't slow down with changes in position or activity. Daddy decided it would be fun to have someone along to sort of keep him company, since he often ends up feeling like a 5th wheel at these occasions. After a little discussion it was settled that our 8yo dau. would be honored in this way, and she was elated. We packed up and headed out--I was still in consistent labor, but not uncomfortable at all. Arrived in observation at the hospital, and after exams, monitoring, etc., it was agreed that we were definitely in labor--"bloody show", etc., just that the baby's head was high between contractions, making progress quite slow. I was experiencing some pretty strong "squeazes", but feeling quite comfortable indeed--no pain, just pressure. As I was getting dressed into the hospital attire, I talked to the baby and told her that I didn't know how, but I knew that God was going to give us a great love, and that He would help me to raise her and care for her. After a few hours of going nowhere, we all decided to go for an amniotomy, or breaking the amniotic membrane. Once the OB did, the flood waters flowed! She even exclaimed, "Holy Smokes!" as water gushed forth, over the whole bed,etc.--this is why I had been so uncomfortable! Afterwards, the progress was better, but still slow. A part of me liked the fact that I wasn't in any real discomfort, but another part of me was anxious to get to the real pushing and get to hold my baby. Meanwhile, I was singing songs from the Psalms and walking gently around, keeping my mind stayed on Him. My little daughter sat close by, getting things for me as I needed them, unable to sleep, even though it was late. I enjoyed carrying on a good conversation with the labor nurseand even the OB (a very sweet person) during this time, but I don't think this helped with the progress! Upon the next internal exam, I asked the OB to check for presentation, just to see if this was not keeping the baby's head from putting enough pressure on the cervix to make a difference. We found that the baby's head was positioned sideways--so it was suggested that I lay on my side, and BINGO!--that's when the discomfort hit--the pain that let me know that things were progressing. I began alternating with laying on my side and on all fours, and things began to get serious. I called on my dear husband to rub my lower back during a contraction, and then sit in front of me so I could lean on him in-between. There's just something about his touch that is very healing and comforting to me. As she moved further down, I could lay back (on an incline) and get through the waves without massage, but just concentrating on her movement along the birth canal. At a certain point I could tell that she was just on the verge of entering the "ischial spines"--the bones that guard the exit, so-to-speak. I prayed and told the Lord that I wanted her to pass through, that I was ready. Then the real pain hit, when I decided that I couldn't go any further--imagine that! After 13 other babies, I still didn't want to do this part! The baby's head was right there in the middle of my bones, and nothing I did could ease the discomfort, so I complained a bit until I remembered, "I can push the pain!"--so I did! I just leaned to the side, sort of and started pushing with all my might, while my support people scrambled to prop me up. I kept on pushing and pushing, feeling like my eyeballs would pop out, hearing them call out to me that her little hair was showing, that we were in the home stretch. Except for a few deep breaths, I didn't stop until her head was delivered and it was anounced there was a really tight loop around her neck--so I panted, even though I wanted to badly to expell her shoulders. They clamped and cut the cord, and then I delivered the rest of her. After she was finally all the way out, I sighed and said "That was easy!", which made everyone laugh! The cord had caused her a little distress, so they whisked her away to give her a little oxygen, etc. This (the cord incident) must have happened in just the last few moments of birth, since throughout the labor she had been so reactive and not even a sign of "head crunch". She normalized pretty quickly, and soon I had her precious little body in my arms. Much to everyone's amazement, she even nursed. My doctor graciously guarded my perineum, so that all I had was a little "skid mark" from where my last episiotomy left me a weak spot--20 years ago--that reoccurs with every birth. There were less little tiny tears than my other home births--which was wonderful. The placenta was HUGE! --indicating a very healthy and vibrant pregnancy. She ended up being 8lbs, 1oz., 20.5 inches long. Our hour with her passed too quickly--but we are all having such a wonderful "babymoon". She is calm, and hardly complains or cries. What can I say--she's perfect! The first day everyone went home and it was just she and I--I spent most of the time just staring at her and adoring her and thanking God for His goodness. Then I called home and invited my dear husband back to the hospital for a little "date"--he would bring the movie (there was a DVD player), and I would have the hospital "room service" bring us dinner. Meanwhile, I showered and got fixed up, and when he arrived we embraced and cuddled and had a wonderful time enjoying each other and our new little baby together. Of course the hospital procedures, rooms, beds, etc. were a little much to take at times, but all-in-all I am glad that I listened to God and did the hospital thing this time around. The children are all so happy. The bigger brothers and sisters made the time special for all of them, and the older children were so giving and self-sacrificing that the little ones hardly missed us! My little 2yo is taking her nap next to me on the bed as I type. She is so excited about the baby, just needs lots of love and comfort. Each child is a reminder of how much favor God has had on our family. We are truly blessed! Pictures coming forwith--- Sherry False alarmWe are so close to having our little baby!Last night we had our first little run to the hospital--I can't tell you how complicated this makes things. I am missing the days when we just sat around home and had a baby--like the last 2! We are always faced with a dilemma at this point. Are we or aren't we in real labor? I mean, these Braxton Hicks can really be convincing, especially after 4 or 5 hours. Of course, if we were having the baby at home, we would just wait and see, but when you have to consider the logistics of getting ready to go, the drive, the check-in, etc., do we really want to be close to transition when we get there? This question and others is what caused us to go the hospital yesterday morning. Once we arrived, the pressure was on. We had to "prove" that we were in labor, so there was the exhaustion of walking, etc., not to mention that if I were actually in labor the "checking" would have been quite annoying--something one can do totally without at home. It seems that God has asked us to do the hospital thing this time, but a great part of me just wants to lay around and have the baby right here--no poking, prodding or other nonsense included! We have such a sweet and wise OB--she sent us home after about 3 hours. We were relieved that we could go and get between our own sheets and snore away a few hours. One mistake I made, however, was accepting the offer of taking an Ambien to help me sleep! I took it just as we were leaving the hospital, and my husband thought we might have a few minutes to eat some breakfast before it kicked in--how wrong we were! Strange things were happening in my eyes and brain once we entered the restaurant, and I had to leave once I had eaten a few bites, only to uncontrollably eject them on our way out--all over the landscaping and onto our shoes! Yech! This is one of those keepsake memories that should keep us laughing in the years to come! I did sleep for a while, however, and dozed off-and-on during the rest of the day, thanks to my wonderful family. This was especially wonderful considering that I am up again in the wee hours of the morning--too uncomfortable to sleep! The checking they did stripped my membranes, so I don't know whether that will have an impact on what will happen next or not. I could sure use prayer! Sherry Things I love about pregnancyI'm in the last "stretch"--counting down until "due day".What do I love about being pregnant? -I love the anticipation of getting to know a new little person. -I love felling a little foot as it brushes along my tummy on the outside. -I love rubbing a little foot and sensing the baby is keeping the foot there just so that I can rub it. -I love sharing the movement with my husband while we are cozy in the bed early in the morning, and the rest of the kids during the day. -I love buying newborn diapers and thinking about how tiny the little bottom that fills them will be! -I love washing and folding all of the little clothes the baby will wear. -I love creating something pretty or special just for the baby, such as a quilt, etc. -I love looking at my bulbous belly in the mirror and thinking there is a whole person curled up in there. -I love the realization that Jesus will be with me during labor and birth, and the fellowship we will be sharing, unlike any other experience, like "deep calling unto deep". -I love wearing maternity clothes--gives me a chance to wear pretty, feminine and frilly things. -I love the wee hours when I am unable to sleep, and can spend time in deep study that I don't anticipate having time for after the baby is born. -I love how my husband goes out of his way to shelter and protect me, and my older sons feel the need to come to my rescue and help me up from the couch! -I love the thought of carrying a little bit of eternity within me--someone God is creating that will last beyond anything else I am a part of on this earth. -I love being helpless an dependent, and leaning on God more than normal. -I love the wait that brings about patience and submission to His will and His timing. -I love the discipline of needing help to overcome hormonal feelings by putting them under the control of the Spirit. -I love being pleasantly emotional--and my husband loves this about me! If there is anything I have learned over the years and the pregnancies, it is to remember that this is not about me, it's not about the cuteness and the attention and the celebration, it is about the little person. It is too easy to get caught up in all of the trappings that we bestow on this occasion, and just let the child be the focus. They are infants for such a short time, and this is when I feel we share them most with the world, but as they grow and mature, they become more part of us, and less part of the world. We begin to have our own life together, a sacred place that only God and the angels know about. We develop our own language of touch and gazes and sounds, and there is a sweet intimacy that we don't necessarily want to lay open to others. This is some of the reward of the whole process; the fellowship between mother and child that is more fulfilling than 200 romance novels. And it continues. Through the toddler and preschool and elementary years, there are those moments that the rest of the world melts away, and we drink in the wonder of the child. We watch him at play or at rest, and we can't help but smile. We rejoice with him, we cry with him, and in this loving we must be willing to break his heart, and ours, for the greater good. As he matures into a young person, we love him even more, although we are letting him go, and observing him with "moon eyes" when he isn't looking. Our time together becomes bitter-sweet as he begins to discuss his plans to "move on", and we encourage him, while we are feeling the pangs of missing him in our hearts. We see the world open and promising before him, and we sense that God is calling him out, and so we learn to release him and love him from afar. But, if he loves Jesus, we know that our separation is only a little bit, and that soon we will be living and flowing in an intimacy that is beyond description, not marred by the wicked evil of this earth. |
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