One Big Family

Scrub-a-dub-dub

8:52 PM, Oct. 6, 2006 .. Posted in Home-making .. 4 comments .. Link

BIG cleaning today. Things we accomplished:

-Taught the children the cleaning concept "From the Inside-Out". Clean the medicine cabinet first, then the sinks and counters; clean the inner toilet first, then the outside rings, then around the base; clean the ceiling fan first, then vacuum and dust.

For organizing, this means that the most used items always go on top or in the front, regardless of how it looks. If you put the little-used pain-relievers and pedicure items in the front of your bathroom cabinet because they are short, and your toothbrush and toothpaste in the back because they are tall, you will have a disheveled cabinet in no time. Put the most-used items in front, and things will stay neat for much longer.

In order to make an emphasis on this for today's cleaning, I used the children as visual objects, turning them into tubes of toothpaste and deoderant and standing them in an imaginary cabinet. Much laughter accompanied our little lesson!

-Cleaned under basement stairs--put baby furniture and Christmas boxes in the front per our "inside out" idea.

-Cleaned basement window-wells and under the deck in preparation for winter.

-Cleaned all of the ceiling fans and on top or our tall bookcases.

-Completely switched the little girls' summer and winter outfits.

-Organized their clothes into their drawers and hung everything according to type in my closet (we hang up almost all clothes to save on ironing later).

-Put all of the luggage away from our trip.

-Straightened up the boys' underwear and cleaned under their bed.

-Did the same in the younger girls' room.

-SCRUBBED THE VACUUMS! I don't know if anyone can relate--we have 3 vacuums, one for each floor. They are the cheap, bagless types--no super-expensive Dysons (its the plastic that keeps me from buying one--just wouldn't last any longer than the cheapos around here--we've even killed a Kirby before). We are sticklers about floors--some rooms are vacuumed 3 times a day--which is ok when you consider the amount of traffic our floors receive. Our children are children, and this means that when there are mashed potatoes underneath the dining room table, they don't take the time to clean them they way an adult would, they vacuum them up! This means that our machines can get really yucky and unhealthy. So we put the cannisters and filters in the tub and gave them all a good scrubbing--no 1-2-3 type of task!

-Cleaned the front door closet--this means a ton of shoes!

-Stripped the bedding and put it in for a wash--our washer has been humming all day, although we are blessed with sunshine and a nice breeze, so we used our "solar dryer" on the deck.

-Super-cleaned the laundry room, or "germ room", where those 21+ loads of dirty clothes congregate, with all of the unmentionable yucky stuff attached to them.

After our deep cleaning, we then took out all the trash, put out-of-place items back, and vacuumed with our restored machines--now with full suction power!

Daddy rewarded the older girls by taking them to the Goodwill for a little shopping while the little ones and I took a rest. Then the little guys headed outside to the play area to set up a "movie scene" for a bucket of plastic army men in the sand.

Our oldest son came home and did a science experiment with the kids--making a rocket using tin foil and matches, and then he showed them how they could make a wallet using a sheet of 8.5x11 paper. (you can find these two on the Instructables website--really worth looking into).

After dinner, it will be another old movie which our daddy checks out of the library--"The Vikings" with Kirk Douglas and Tony Curtis. He is so smart to do this for us--we are being blessed with some good entertainment.

Whew! I am so thankful that God helped me to get the things done on my "to do"/prayer list! What a blessing to head into the weekend with so much behind us. I even have part of my breakfast for the morning already set out!

A sneaky usurper

8:36 AM, Oct. 5, 2006 .. 1 comments .. Link

There is a sneaky usurper that is taking advantage of women. It is hideous, it is stealthy, and it may live in a host near you.

Its name is Jezebel.

No, not that crazy, nut-cased idea of Jezebel that comes from some movie about wife-abusing drunks in Podunk. I’m talking about the Biblical idea, the one formed out of the example of the Jezebel who married Ahab, a king in Israel.

I have heard many times that women who dressed scantily or wore a painted face were referred to as “Jezebels”, but this is not a surface thing--not something you can get rid of with a change of clothes or good washing. No, Jezzie is a spiritual force of darkness, a subtle, beguiling fiend that invades even church-going, plain-clothed and sober women.

This spirit looks for a host--someone who is in rebellion or has an offense against someone in authority, even an offense against another Jezzie hostess. Very often there is a man-hating element, borne out of unforgiveness. The hostess is often intelligent and capable, able to rationalize and convince others of her good intentions. She becomes arrogant, bossy and controlling of others--all to serve self. She can work in a corporate office, be active in church, or wear an apron and drive a minivan.

She exhibits what psychologists call, “malignant narcissism”, meaning a selfishness that uses the lives of others to feed herself. Tremendous energy is used to keep control of situations and people that surround her, through guilt and intimidation, using anger or other more hideous means.

Women who are victims of this spirit are “life-drainers” to those who are living a life for God. They follow after the first Jezebel, whose desire was to kill and eradicate the prophets of God. Sometimes they are blatant in their focus, but often they hide their true identity in a subterfuge of religious words and good works, while keeping the glory for themselves and secretly wanting to “be like God”. They actively seek to undermine authority; either between husband and wife, parent and child, pastor and flock or employer and employees.

Two blatant examples of this in our popular culture are the mother in the sitcom “Everybody Loves Raymond”, and Hillary Clinton. The one woman sees herself as “saint-like”, while her family members around her loathe her, even though they can’t quite put their fingers on the reasons why. The other woman does not even attempt to hide her controlling, manipulating usurpation of male authority, but wears it like a badge to be admired.

But these are not the only examples. You have them all around you, probably one or two among your relatives, and you may even be a victim yourself…

But there is hope.

First step--repent--humble yourself--admit wrong--put on sackloth and ashes--be willing for God to shed His light on the darkest parts of you.

Second--get some prayer for deliverance. You can’t fight this alone. You need the support of Godly prayer-warriors to overcome this powerful spirit.

Thirdly--walk out your deliverance by learning to live patterns that are life giving. Support those in authority, forgive and pray for your abusers, be willing to admit that you have been wrong, ask forgiveness of those who are around you, give up the need to be “right” (which is pride).

You may not be a hostess for Jezzie, but you may be comfortable with some of her patterns. Do an inventory and ask God to reveal these areas and change you. Fall on Him and ask Him to take care of you, instead of trying to make sure you can keep control of people and circumstances to take care of yourself. Study the life of Jezebel and contrast it with the life of Sarah or Mary. Meditate on the greatness of God and His righteousness--magnify Him and rejoice in Him. Get your mind off of yourself and onto Him.

If you are under the influence of a Jezebel hostess, don’t try to meet her head-on. Even Elijah had to come to the end of himself and let God deal with her. Try and have as little contact as possible, and pray, pray, pray in expectation that God is working.

Remember, Jesus came to give us life, abundantly lived in the freedom and love of God. He wants you to be free, and He wants others around you to be free.

You gotta read it!

11:05 PM, Sep. 30, 2006 .. Posted in Home-making .. 1 comments .. Link

I just came accross a marvelous article on the Ladies Against Feminism website. It's a declaration of the New Women's Movement. You can read it here.

It's not about me

11:37 AM, Sep. 29, 2006 .. 7 comments .. Link

This morning my dear husband alerted me to a snippet of a morning talk segment. It had to do with stay-at-home moms.

Diane Sawyer was the anchor who was sitting having a nice little chat with a group of women who were purportedly being "honest" and "vulnerable" about the realities of mommy-life at home.

What did I hear?

"I love my kids, but sometimes they drive me crazy,"

and,

"They can be boring,"

and

"I think we've idealized motherhood,"

and,

"I have come to realize that housecleaning is not my gift. If my children and my husband do not clean, it just doesn't happen" (can you believe someone actually thinking this is a virtuous thing to say?)

With friends like these--who needs enemies?

One woman expressed her disappointment at thinking staying at home would mean more snuggle time with her babies and enjoyment of her kids, and was disillusioned when she realized it also meant putting Junior on the slide for the 15th time or cooking and cleaning (dirty dishes were mentioned more than once in the segment).

This wasn't a conversation about virtue, this was a conversation about selfishness. It was all about "fulfillment"--not about selfless service. It was about being disillusioned because moms face the tedium of schedule, and no one sends off fireworks because they cleaned out the garbage can.

What a bunch of whimps! Only in the West could we actually believe that fulfillment was a "given" in our lives. Only women who had been spoiled with so much could expect that life should be "heaven on earth" for them! And what a lie--since when is work outside the home not filled with tedium and schedule? Since when does every person (including men) have a job that is totally "fulfilling"?

Guess what, Ladies; we are on planet earth, no "utopia" promised. It is not about me, it is about Him and them--the God and Creator of the universe and the work He has called me to do--in this is true "fulfillment".

My dear husband made the point that, even if we had all of the resources of this world at our fingertips, we would not know how to use them so that we would be "happy". Happiness is fleeting and dependent on so many perceptions and circumstances. We don't need "happiness", we need joy that goes above and beyond what we think, feel, or experience.

Jesus told us that it is only in losing our life that we find it, and He was the example of laying down His life for the greater glory, trusting that God would do the "fulfilling" (check out Philippians 2).

I was once at home with 3 very needy little people, 3yo and under. I can remember the days that didn't seem so "wonderful" and idyllic--but I knew that I could either complain and "marinate in the negative" with a bunch of cackling hens, or I could seek out women who exhibited joy and the life of God and allow the circumstances to change ME!

The beginning of wisdom

9:43 PM, Sep. 27, 2006 .. 0 comments .. Link

That is truly what happens when you homeschool--you move away from just "knowledge" and begin to understand wisdom.

I didn't understand what wisdom was when I was in school. My teachers were always pushing facts, or how to perform tasks that had little or no relevance to life. Knowledge was always such a "heady" thing--and to have your head more full of lots and lots of disjointed facts meant that you were somehow superior to everyone else, even if you were made fun of or called the "brain".

Of course, all of this headiness helps you to "further" your education with extremely expensive mush-mush at a college level. At the end of your tenure at the university, you are either wiping your brow and sighing with relief, or you are certain the world just isn't ready for someone as "educated" as you are.

In real life, however, the only place this actually counts is on Jeopardy. Employers stare yawningly at your college record, but aren't as impressed with your A's and B's as they are with what you can do for them. College degrees don't give you what it takes to pay your bills on time, or take care of your car, or be a good son or daughter. They don't help you gain an entrepreneurial spirit, and they don't give you answers to life when you contract cancer or watch a loved one die.

They don't give you morality or intestinal fortitude. They don't teach you how to get along with others in order to reach a goal. They are filled with agendas and wasted hours in libraries researching things that you aren't interested in at all. The few classes that do you any good could be taken in a few short months--but you have to sit and be brainwashed for semester after semester.

When we homeschool, the kind of homeschooling that looks at all facts through the filter of the "fear of God", we rediscover the missing element in all of the so-called schooling in the world. Everything in the universe, every fact and every procedure, comes under His order and His meaning. The world opens up in a way that cannot be imagined.

The fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom...

Some more about our trip

9:17 PM, Sep. 22, 2006 .. Posted in Walk with God .. 1 comments .. Link

When you get together with a bunch of God's servants, something wonderful happens--He shows up!

This last year was draining and full of hard work and sometimes disappointment. The enemy was giving us evil reports right-and-left. I am sure most of us can relate--the "noisome pestilence" that rings in your ears about "doom and gloom". Of course, we were able to keep most of it at bay, but we were weary.

The denomination we are a part of does not have any official recognition or encouragement for stay-at-home moms, quiver-fullness, or homeschooling. I have sometimes felt left-out, or even estranged because of it. Even so, my husband and I kept serving and giving of ourselves, since we knew that these folks also had a deep desire to serve and love God, and that is really what we are, at our core.

This last week God moved on their hearts to pour out encouragement to us beyond measure. They doted on our children, they prayed for us, and they gave us words of prophecy. It was just the touch we needed at just the right time. I cannot begin to explain how bolstered I feel right now. It is as if all of their hands are under us, lifting us up.

One of the prophecies given was that I did not have to answer to anyone but God for the calling He has on my life--I really needed that. Another one was that God wanted us to be in a spirit of repentance--that was right-on, too. A dear lady laid her hands on my tummy and was swept away at the anointing over this little baby growing inside of me--and the baby answered by thumping up and down! My husband and I, after my two miscarriages, almost gave up on having another--what we would have missed out on!

Then two of our other children received a mighty touch of God, the two that are just now entering into young adulthood (some call them "teen-agers"). Our daughter received such a dose of the Holy Ghost that the other ladies were asking her to pray for them, just to get some of the overflow. Our son received prayer and hasn't come down from it yet--wants to spend all day studying the Word! This was an answer to prayer for me.

I need to emphasize here something that we all need to hear from time to time, "unless the Lord builds the house, they labor in vain who build it". I know that homeschooling is a wonderful, God-given idea, and it will even work for the pre-christian, simply because it is based on His principles and His ideas. But, for those of us who are looking to populate a new generation of God-followers, sold-out living testimonies, you CANNOT do it without the power of God. You can read all the right books, use all the right curriculum (or not), but it will fall flat without the Holy Spirit.

Christianity is not like any other religion, where it is a set of principles or ideas, but it is a real, living relationship with the God who created the universe. On that basis, it doesn't do one much good to read the writings of some dead prophet, unless you know that the God of those words is still living and can bring those words to life to you everyday. This takes faith, and I'm sure those of other religions have to exercise this type of faith as well, but I am so excited that God meets that faith--that Jesus really does walk and talk with His followers, and that the Holy Spirit guides and directs, and in real, tangible ways, not just "some day".

In the living, breathing Christianity that we live, God is more active on our behalf than we are on His. We don't have to beg and plead and deny ourselves to hear from Him, we just believe and rest. The time we spend in prayer and seeking His face is not in vain, it is part of the reward. Heaven is a place in which one's greatest desires are fulfilled--but not the boring, empty earthly desires we are now enslaved by. Heaven is filled with HIM! And once you get to know God, in His fulness, you don't need anything else, neither do you want anything else! Just think of the most wonderful person you have ever met, one that you could count on for love, encouragement, and direction, multiply it times a kazillion, and then you will have just a glimpse of who He is.

I will bless the Lord at all times,
His praise will continually be in my mouth
My soul will boast in God my Savior
The humble will hear it, and they will be glad
Oh magnify the Lord with me
Let us exalt His name together

Psalm 34:1-3

Sherry

On the blog again...

9:57 PM, Sep. 21, 2006 .. 1 comments .. Link

We're back from our wonderful trip--refreshed and revitalized with a break from our schedule, and lots of prayer and encouragement.

The children had a great time--mostly fiddling around the lake and playing with other kids. I used the extra time we had to take them through some very vital teachings on "Perilous Times", taken from 2 Tim. 3:1-9, and what it truly means to have a "substantial fear of God" (as opposed to a self-centered God-phobia)--I wish I could share it here, but I'm not sure of copywrights, etc.

The time we spent with the other pastors is always so awesomely powerful--our children were prayed over and encouraged mightily, as were we. To get such a group together that is so dedicated to serving the Lord Jesus is beyond incredible!

I hope to be posting some pics of our wonderful little family trip soon.

Good to be back!

Sherry

A marriage made in heaven

12:37 AM, Sep. 16, 2006 .. 4 comments .. Link

This is our anniversary--our 24th!

After all these years, we are still each other's "safe place". It is like we grew up together, like we were twins, even though we were miles and years apart. I don't know where I end and he begins, and vice-versa.

We hold hands, we wake up in the middle of the night and talk for hours, and we catch hugs whenever we can. We are best friends.

No, we don't always agree, and sometimes we take our day out on each other, but it is all quickly forgotten. We don't live in the past, but we forgive as He has forgiven us, and we forget quickly.

Once I was walking downtown, waiting for him to come out of a meeting, when I saw him walking towards me. I can't explain how I felt--it was like, in all the lonely world, there was my "home", a place that was warm and inviting.

In those first days of our relationship, before we said the "I do's", we knelt at a small bench and gave our whole lives together to Jesus, and asked Him to be our foundation. To this day He is still our greatest joy, one that is made more wonderful because we share Him together.

This is me, holding my grandbaby, my son-in-law, and my wonderful husband telling us a story this last summer.

God's order in the days

11:56 PM, Sep. 15, 2006 .. 0 comments .. Link

Yesterday was so pleasant; not hurried, just enjoyed!

(Here are some of the kids by the lake last year)

The children and I had wonderful times reading aloud, copying, dictating, and just sharing the things we love most. The older children had their own studies, and the younger ones wanted to spend time exploring the map--so we had little contests naming the capitals of the states, talking about our government, and then free-hand drawing some states and labeling them.

Then I headed outside to watch the 2yo and 4yo play in the sand. It was one of those pleasant days that you only find in early fall; sunny, but not too warm, with a wonderful breeze and a few of those purple clouds that speak of a wonderful thunderstorm--one of my favorite things in the whole world (besides all of my other wonderful things). Then the younger children and I harvested the red and green tomatoes still in the garden and picked out the stickery weeds. What a picture of delight was before my eyes--the little ones danced and remarked with such glee as ripe little cherry tomatoes burst open with sweetness in their mouths.

We had to harvest the tomatoes this week, because next week we will be gone deep into the mountains for our annual retreat with our beloved pastors. We will be staying in a lodge on the edge of a lake, with wild elk and quaking aspens. Our breakfasts will be made for us every morning, we will be eating a number of meals out, there will be no laundry and no maintenance--just lots of fun and rest.

That is not to mention the wonderful prayer and praise that one experiences when those so dedicated to God all gather together--it's wonderful!

Preparing for the trip involves months of planning--going through all of the clothes to find the best specimens, then searching garage sales, thrift stores, and a few retail stores to ensure that our children are dressed well for 5 days of "visiting", including a banquet, etc.

Then there is the packing--for this I could not do without rubber bands! In years past, we folded and rolled the clothes, but this year I ironed, starched, and folded the clothes into square bundles and secured with rubber bands--for the younger ones I try to keep the outfits together so that there is very little guessing, etc. when it's time to actually get dressed for a function.

Everyone has a bag--and I labeled them with their names. When we travel in our van, each person's bag goes underneath their seat, and we have assigned seats. When we first started this job, we didn't have enough luggage, so we used pillow cases, secured at the top with rubber bands! Since then we have collected some sets of soft-side luggage to use.

We usually have to use 2 hotel rooms--this year my very blessed and resourceful husband secured one of these rooms as a suite--at no cost to us! It will have a fireplace and a table to sit 8, with 2 queen sleeper couches and a queen Murphy bed. It will have a balcony that faces the lake--what wonderful memories for the kids.

Another vitally important piece of preparation went on today--we had some quite lively discussions about appropriate behaviors in public--including bodily functions, answering questions politely, etc. It's always fun to mix these things up with some role-playing--lots of giggling to go around with the learning. Of course, I will be reminding and reviewing these things as we attend all of the meetings, etc. Our goal is to have children that are a blessing to all they meet--but with the balance that I also want them to run, holler and throw rocks into the lake when it is appropriate!

While I was finishing up on some details that my hubby needed help with for his big work week (this will not be a vacation for him--he will be "on the job"), the Lord gave me the idea to mix things up a bit, so I gave the girls the job of cleaning the boys' room, and the boys the job of cleaning the kitchen. It was wonderful! The boys' room smells as good as it looks, and the boys knew just what they needed to do, so there was hardly any diddling, and they did an excellent job, even cleaning out the fridge in anticipation of our trip! God's ideas are always the best!

Although I think the hotel has some internet availability, I am not entirely sure. If I have time and the inclination, I just might have a few things to blog about. Other than that, it might be a quiet week here--but I will be back soon, God willing.

Sherry

Secrets of family success

4:34 AM, Sep. 12, 2006 .. Posted in Home-making .. 4 comments .. Link

First of all, let me emphasize that I do not agree that women should be combat soldiers--now that is my opinion, but it is based on many things, partly on Biblical convictions, and partly my own experience in the United States Army.

With that out of the way, let me also say that I probably would not be the person I am today without the good ol' army training I received some 24 years ago. God works all things for the good, and this has become part of His plan for me.

Among the things I learned that I use today are the ideas that a person can do more, faster, on less. I never knew what it meant to be "fast", or to truly clean, or how to function on less than 5 hours of sleep for weeks on end, until those fateful 8 weeks.

We ran everywhere we went--we forgot how to walk. I suffered from tendonitis in my calves, but still ran, marched for miles at a time, and performed all of the other exercises and duties. I went to bed at 9 pm, woke up for 2 hours of guard duty, went back to bed, and awoke again at 4 am. I contracted bronchitis and held a fever of 102 degrees or so, but I still ran 2 miles at my greatest speed in only britches and a t-shirt in 50 degree weather. I crawled on my back through mud under barbed wire, and then had an officer command that I should wear my rain poncho so that I wouldn't "get wet".

I got yelled at constantly, had to follow orders that made no sense, and still had to render respect and obedience.

Does this sound familiar? Doesn't it sound like motherhood and being an obedient Christian and wife?

There are many things I use from those days even now:

1: I can still be thankful, even without a full 8 hours of sleep, even with pregnancy sleeplessness and newborn interruptions.

2: People (my children) will conform if they have to, it just takes firm, confident leadership and the willingness to take the measures necessary. The army trains soldiers for combat, and combat is a life-or-death situation. You can't allow yourself to constantly be second-guessed when lives are on the line. You can't take little "half-measures" either--you have to be firm and go on the offensive with behavior problems. It is unwise to wait until the problem escalates and then take action--set the standard up front and then make sure the consequences are painful (not necessarily in the physical sense) and meaningful from the outset, instead of waiting until you get mad enough to do something about it.

3: Teamwork and commaraderie are vital to the success of any mission. Even though I had very little in common with the other women in my platoon, I found myself crying, praying and cheering them all on. You can't have a functioning, happy family without being a team; without being each other's greatest cheer-leaders. You have to get rid of things like competition and petty jealousy, and practice handing out praise in large doses. You have to have an objective before you, and realize that all else is secondary (in this case growing in Christ's love). You have to clap and whoop and holler over the accomplishments of your spouse and your children.

4: The "buddy system" works. I had a buddy, and we looked out for each other. Around here we have buddies, albeit not in a formal, assigned sense, and they watch out for each other and care for each other. This is not to say that we leave the parenting to the children, but we allow the sisterhood and brotherhood that God planned to take its proper place.

5: The job gets done better and faster if you get everyone involved. If you have a large brood, get them all to help when it's time to clean up or do other chores. Make it a party--plan some celebration afterwards.

6: Idle hands make mischief. In the army, if there wasn't anything happening, they found jobs for you to do--even if it meant painting tree trunks and rocks. It didn't matter what sort of "special training" you had, the army had its way of finding menial things for you to do, right along-side the higher ranking sorts. We picked up cigarette butts, raked leaves, painted curbs, polished doorknobs, etc. Children do need time to just "mess around", but if things get out of hand, I hand them a broom or a bucket and give them things to do.

7: Always salute the officers and great the sergeants. Do we want to raise respectful, honoring children? Then we have to become the same, and then expect the same. Children don't necessarily want to operate with honor--they must be trained to respond with respect and even given the words to say. Honor is something that must be addressed directly, since it goes against the grain of our flesh, and honoring begins with honoring older brothers and sisters.

8: Never leave a man (woman) behind. If someone was lagging behind on a 10-mile march, another soldier was assigned to carry her pack so that her burden would be lighter, and a few other soldiers got on either side and lifted her up. If you are a team, you carry each other's burdens and lighten each other's loads. You don't make fun of the weak or the downtrodden, you lift them up. Everyone finishes victoriously together. This is the balance to expecting more than a person thinks he/she can do. It deals with compassion and self-sacrifice for the good of the mission and the team.

9: Meetings and announcements keep the team focused. Taking the time to assemble the family and address issues of concern or praise is a vital practice. You need to cast a vision of the goals of your team and make sure that everyone is on the "same page" as it were. Just as there is a "place for everything and everything in its place", each family member needs to know their function and what is expected. Leaving these things to chance only leads to chaos and feelings of isolation and frustration.

10: Showing a little passion now and then lends credibility and gives the team the vision it needs to get through the rough times. Whether it's positive or negative passion, the children need to see that the parents are seriously involved, that they are engaged on both a logical and emotional level. It is unwise to be constantly cheerful or angry--but use emotional responses when they will serve the greater good, always balanced with self-control.

11: Organization and planning keep the team on track. Any organization that does its job well has procedures that must be followed for different scenarios. There are rules that must be followed which keep things from being fowled-up due to knee-jerk, emotional responses. Even when cleaning a bathroom, it is good to have what is referred to as an "SOP", or "Standard Operating Procedure" manual, which gives the person a specified list of what is expected.

These are some of the obvious things that have become part of our daily lives here--I'm sure there are more that I don't readily recognize.

Especially when a family is large, you can't just live and expect things to "fall in place". You need a plan of action, or you will end up with a handful of nothingness, like sand through your fingers.

Learning space pictures

11:00 PM, Sep. 9, 2006 .. Posted in Homeschooling .. 2 comments .. Link

Here are some pictures of our "learning space". I am a little late, but I was encouraged to share this after viewing the lovely learning spaces included in the Lovliness Fair. This is a brag on God and my husband, who made this space possible. Our learning space, with a bedroom and bath, are almost the same size as the house we lived in with 9 children--that one was 980 sq ft! But we even had a "learning space" back then--the dining room crammed with books, etc. Now we have 800 sq ft dedicated to the kids and their exploring and learning (besides the rest of the house and the "garden").

This is our main academic area, with slots for the children and a place for our notebooks, which are stacked along the wall on the left and are hard to see from this angle. The window looks out to our backyard, so if the little ones go out to play, I can keep tabs on them. The door on the left opens into the supply closet.

This is part of my supply closet

This is the area that we sit in the morning and have our "discussions". The basket on the windowsil is full of little books for the tiny ones to "read". There is also a small armoir with a television, DVD player and stereo in the opposite corner. The computer desk is in the left corner, at the bottom of the stairs.

This is our main book area downstairs (there are many more bookshelves upstairs on the other two floors as well).

Here is our "toys area".

Most of the furniture and books were either given to us, are from garage sales, or were found at the thrift store--so God has been so good to bless us with being in the right place at the right time, so that we could enjoy nice things without a heavy price.

Of course, it doesn't look as neat after a morning of idea-sharing and wormie-squirmie little bodies! There are loads of open spaces, which are wonderful in the winter time when it's too cold to play outside.

Homeschool evaluation

2:53 PM, Sep. 9, 2006 .. Posted in Homeschooling .. 4 comments .. Link

Wondering if you are doing enough this year?

Take an assessment.

Make a list of all of the things your child knows--don't limit yourself to the "schoolish" kinds of things.

Whenever possible, take a few minutes to listen in on the neighborhood kids as they play. Are they quoting Shakespeare or figuring out the velocity at which they are hurling rocks or balls? Are they using physics equations to calculate the momentum necessary to make it uphill on their bicycles? If you asked them who Alexis de Tocqueville was, would they know? Can they recite the first 2 chapters of Genesis from memory? Of course not!

On the other hand, is your child happy? Is he interested in the world around him? Does he ask you questions, and do you do your best to answer him and encourage him in every way?

If so, you pass the test with flying colors! Relax and enjoy.

Cherry pie

10:25 PM, Sep. 7, 2006 .. 0 comments .. Link

I am not deluded into thinking that there is any such thing as "utopia" here on planet earth. Unlike some in our world, I am not attempting to create my own heaven of pleasures. The Bible is my compass, and I am convinced that only the coming of Jesus to take control will bring the peace that everyone lays claim to. Until then, we are all destined to live with the consequences of the sins of others, and of our own.

This means that there are such things as disease, infidelity, governmental oppression, war, and death, and that all of these things affect the lives of families.

But even in the midst of this turmoil, God's plan of family life is the best way to raise children, and the most affective at intensive discipleship, with homeschooling being the optimum in allowing this discipleship to occur.

Of course, I have dear friends that send their children to public school, and I don't point my finger and scream railing accusations at them--I love them and let God do the dealing.

But, if I had my way, I'd try to talk everyone I know into this wonderful life.

Is it perfect? Is it easy? Definitely not! The work is exhausting and sometimes without immediate reward--but it is good work, the kind that gives you peace.

I often find that the things in this life that are supposed to be "easy" come with a great price tag in the end, sort of like eating cherry pie.

Our local Sam's Club has a table dedicated to pies--and they are HUGE! They can look quite tempting after a long day of shopping. In a rush, with a craving for a "goodie", they can be convenient. But compare the stale taste of a pie that is at least a day old, with all of the preservatives and colorings and other artificial additives, to a pie that has been rolled out with love, filled with care, and just pulled from the oven. Mmmmmm, there is just nothing like it in the world!

Homeschooling is a lot like cherry pie. Some have tried it and found it to be tasteless and meaningless because they expected it to be like a pie you can buy--uniform and already done--you just warm it slightly, put it on a plate, and top it with some vanilla ice cream.

But the true joy comes from putting your heart and soul in the whole process. It means getting yourself inmeshed in the lives of your children; it means giving up your life.

In the end your feet may ache and your shoulders may droop, but the sweet aroma of knowing that you have obeyed, and it was blessed, will more than recompense any sacrifice you have made.

Midnight madness

7:05 PM, Sep. 6, 2006 .. 4 comments .. Link

After being awakened by phone call late last night, Daddy and I had a nice little discussion about some of the turmoil that happened yesterday (as mentioned in my last post). This is the plan of action we took.

We knew that a time of intense instruction and correction was overdue, and we knew that we couldn't waste another day. Taking time in the morning would foul everything else up. So, we woke the children with the problems of cooperation and follow-through and left the two that were doing fine asleep.

Then we laid out the problem and the corrective measures before them. Believe me, being forced up in the middle of a deep sleep got their undivided attention. Both my husband and I were in the military, and basic training taught us many lessons; the first being that you can do a lot more than you think you can. This we put accross to the kids; that they are more capable than they think, and that the ways they have been operating have been stealing the "life" from them and was inevitably a plan of the enemy of their souls to cause them all sorts of grief and take away their joy. We laid down some new expectations and gave them some clear-cut goals.

Then we made some promises; if things did not improve, there would be more than midnight lectures, there would be midnight "police parties" (to borrow a term from the military), and priveleges would be suspended until further notice.(A police party is a gathering designed to get soldiers to make things "ship-shape", what I would refer to as a "deep clean"--moving furniture, etc.) Of course, these were almost all older children, so this was the most effective strategy. Any younger and we would have come up with something more appropriate for their ages.

We focussed mainly on giving your life away, as Jesus said, in order to gain it. We talked about the blessedness of living life for others, instead of oneself. Our little discussion was ended with a story of a martyr dealing with torture and deprivation, who determined to leap and jump to the Lord as an act of worship, even in a dinky, dark dungeon.

The results? Some very gung-ho, cheerful, tired children this morning (and a few tired parents). My dear husband took on the task of inspecting after morning clean up, and he has been the leader in making sure this plan goes forward--what would I do without him?

We will see how things unfold as time goes on. But the peace today has been a nice change.

Burnishing the house

9:29 PM, Sep. 5, 2006 .. 0 comments .. Link

It hit me yesterday--it was like a flash of light or a great burning desire--I had to get my house in order!

Was it pregnancy, or was it lunacy, I don't know, but today we "burnished" our little buns off!

It was spurred on by two main ideas--1. I was tired of feeling closed in by all of the clutter, and disorganization, and 2. my eldest son told me that the reason my children didn't take care of their learning/playing area was because they didn't consider it "nice" enough to take care of in the first place. He was right.

So...most of my "rest time" yesterday was spent making detailed maps and lists and procedures of how we would all go about making an "order" out of things, instead of a mess.

But today, even after prayer and a good pep talk to the troops, there was more mess for the first 5 hours than any semblance of order at all.

First I concentrated on my bedroom while I sent a team two floors down to the basement--this was pretty disasterous, as there was discord and my well-laid plans were ignored into a room piled with books, toys, trash, etc.--it was not just a little pile, it was a MOUND!

Anyway, I at least got my room straightened out quite a bit--I keep the three youngest's clothes in our large walk-in closet, since they bathe in our bathroom and it is just easier to keep track of what they are wearing, etc. I changed drawers around and put things that go together "together" in a more logical manner. I even brought out the clothes for the new baby and put them in the low-boy.

Sarah, the 4th youngest, switched her own clothes around, with my supervision, and so now we know she is ready for the next season.

I left my 16yo in charge of the final touches with my room and headed down to the basement, only to meet the disasterous results of many chiefs all wanting to run the show for the non-existent Indians! Homeschooling definitely produces leaders--there were 4 downstairs who were ready to hang each other!

Anyway, I soon brought the riot and chaos down to a low murmur, and we were off to the next 5 hours of non-stop moving, sorting, pitching, vacuuming, and organizing. Thank God for a 16yo that can cook a pretty good couple of meals!

Now I am almost too tired to type, but was it ever worth it! The basement already had the elements that any child would need for learning; toys, colorful maps, books, etc., but it was not arranged in an orderly, inviting way.

We just needed to rethink a few things, consolidate, and innovate. Thanks to the help of the Holy Spirit, the results are terriffic. I even consolidated all of my memory book stuff--our photographs, scrapbooks, etc.--so that I and the girls can work on them little by little.

A little of the credit must go to the precious ladies that have posted on the Living Lives of Loveliness carnival hosted by the Castle of the immaculate at http://mariancastle.blogspot.com/, who inspired me to get my gears in order after I viewed many of the gorgeous surroundings.

Additionally, I have added a few things to my prayer list to "cozy" and beautify things up even more.

My girls have ordered a digital camera that they said I could borrow--so when it arrives I'll have them take a few pics so I can share.

Off to just lie down and do absolutely nothing--

Sherry

Meatball sandwiches

10:42 PM, Sep. 3, 2006 .. Posted in Pantry Principle .. 1 comments .. Link

It's getting a little cooler, so we are beginning to crave some real "comfort food".

Get from your freezer:

Whole wheat baguettes
Meatballs
Frozen shredded mozarella

Get from your pantry:

Tomato paste
Itallian seasoning
Onion powder
Dash of salt

Place meatballs in pan (enough to make a complete line on each baguette) with seasonings, tomato paste, and small amount of water (to keep from singing on the bottom). Warm, stirring constantly, until meatballs are thawed and seasonings are absorbed.

Cut the baguettes lengthwise, but only on three sides. Leave the 4th uncut to act as a "hinge".

Place each baguette on a baking pan with uncut side on the bottom, so that it looks like a "v".

Place meatballs with sauce in a line in each baguette. Cover with mozarella (and maybe a sprinkle of parmesan).

Bake in 350F oven until wonderfully warm and bubbly! Mmmmmmmm.....

Side dish suggestion: cole slaw mix with ranch dressing

What's driving you?

11:21 AM, Sep. 2, 2006 .. 3 comments .. Link

A friend of mine called with frustration in her voice.

She has a degree in art, and wanted to have an "art class" with one of her friend's children (the age of 10). The little girl was neither interested nor responsive, even though she regularly draws on her own.

I asked my friend, "Why does she need an 'art class' when she already has fun creating and drawing on her own? Is this driven by her need to learn it, or your need to teach it?"

How much of our homeschooling is driven by our "need to teach", instead of our child's need to learn?

Much of our beginnings look like this. My friend happens to have a passion for art and loves the idea of having a captive audience, in the form of a homeschooled child, to foist her energy and enthusiasm on. Of course, this means a formal class, with the utensils and proper way of doing things, but this is in no wise the best way to teach.

Instead, imagine putting a child at a table and telling him a story as you are drawing a landscape in pastels. You might even say things like, "Pastels are a special medium for older children", to which he might respond, "I'm an older child, can I try?"

There was once a young man who was given the task of selling oranges on a commuter train. Day after day he walked the aisles, harping out a sales pitch, without selling any oranges at all. A wise businessman took notice of the lad and offered this bit of advice, "Son, if you want to sell oranges, try standing in a group of men and begin eating one, letting the juice run down the sides of your mouth and enjoying every last morsel". The young man tried this technique, and soon found himself with an empty basket and full purse!

This is a great method to "teach" and gain enthusiasm. We may have passions and talents that we would love to share, but hitting things straight on discourages someone who might otherwise show interest. Subtlety is the word that must be used here. Then, once they crack open the door, we must not rush in like a vacuum salesman and force them to view our goods. It is wiser to give only a little information at a time, then backing off to allow them to process and enjoy.

Being a "driven" teacher, no matter how much we may desire to teach, can kill a child's innate love of learning and discourage him from enjoying the very things we had hoped to share.

An answer for Meg

12:14 AM, Aug. 31, 2006 .. 1 comments .. Link

Dear Meg,

Motherhood, when done right, is not easy. It exposes us at our very core, and it gives us choices--either submit and be changed, or duck out and go for comfort, dealing with the consequences later.

Did I do everything right as a new mother? No way! My daughter was such a guinea pig that I thought the anti-vivisectionists would stage a protest outside my home!

But God covered for me. Today she is a wonderful, delightful, dedicated Christian who wants to be just like me! That was not my doing, it is a miracle. From the first time I held her in the hospital, I was petrified, but I was also comforted by the fact that I had Jesus, and I was confident that He would help me.

You have plenty of time. You do not have it within you, but everything you need is in The Bread of Life--He alone is all you need to sustain you and strengthen you for the road you face ahead. Don't look at the few loaves and fishes you have and become overwhelmed. Let Him work the miracle within you and watch His strength within you become "more than enough".

My life is pretty wonderful right now, but it all came with great price. I had to let my visions of what I wanted die so many times, and lay down and submit to the spankings God had in store. There were many losses along the way, many wounds that were necessary to let the "bad humors" escape.

This is what is meant by "childishness". We want the good stuff, we want it our way, and we want it now. But God's ways are always the best, even though we may choke a little on the medicine as it winds its way down through our life. This is the deepening that allows you to appreciate everything, that gives you the perspective from which I wrote that last post. Perhaps someone would look at my life and point to all of the bad things, things that you can't see from out there in the blogosphere. But I have learned that this is life on planet earth--always full of challenges and disappointments, but you need to choose how you view things; through a glass that is blood-stained to a rosey color.

Be encouraged, you are on the right path! Just take each day as it comes, and pray as I do when I open my eyes in the morning, "Lord, I'm such a mess. I don't have one idea how to make it through today. But I want it to be more than OK, I want it to be wonderful and blessed. I submit to You--show me what to do." Then I talk things over with Him, listen, and hopefully obey.

When I mess up (which is often), I confess and thank Him for even this, because I trust that He will work even this for the best-- He is not limited like I often think He is. Just as He covered me with my first child, He is covering me with my 13th, and will continue to do so with my 14th, should He will.

He will cover for you, too.

Your precious heart comes through, and I want you to know you are a terriffic mother,

Sherry

Backwards living

10:22 AM, Aug. 29, 2006 .. 5 comments .. Link

I have something over on my kids; they have never been a mother, but I was once a child. It is next to impossible for them to pull the wool over my eyes, because I remember the times I scraped my liver and onions into the trash and covered them stealthily with a paper towel, saving one bite so that when mother came into the room I could be chewing it, singing the praises of liver loudly and extravagantly. Among other tricks, I knew just how to open and close the cookie jar without making a sound, so that I could shove some chocolate-covered graham crackers into my pocket for later consumption (melted chocolate mingled with pocket lint). I could leave the dishes just until I heard the tires of my mother’s car on the gravel, and wash them all in 60 seconds or less (although not very well). I knew all about lying convincingly and who to schmoose so that I could get what I wanted, so anytime my children try any of these tactics on me, I am more than able to unravel their plans. Just as the antagonist in any melodrama, they frown as if to say, “Foiled again!”

Fortunately for them, I also remember what parts of my life were helpful, and which were not, especially in the area of education.

In the third grade my teacher was Mrs. Hook. She was a delight! She read to us daily from what we now refer to as “living books”. After noon recess we could look forward to getting lost in “The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe”, or “Willie Wonka and the Chocolate Factory”. She even encouraged us to draw pictures of the different characters, which I undertook with relish. It was under her tutelage that I began writing all sorts of fanciful stories and drawing pictures of each. Instead of forcing us to stick to the basal readers, we were given the option of working through the SRA system, in which we read interesting stories and answered a few basic questions, but moved at our own pace, as fast or slow as we wanted. When it was “art time”, we were allowed to bring our own music in and encouraged to explore the medium, without super-imposed parameters.

By the time I was nine years old I was busy reading 2 Nancy Drew novels a day, writing and illustrating my own book of stories, crocheting scarves for my whole family for Christmas and taking the primary colors of tempera and mixing them into secondary, tertiary, and subdued tones. It was in the midst of this self-directed learning that I changed schools, this time to an elementary school in the midst of a largely Hispanic population, one that was deemed “poor” and “special needs”. Everything was dumbed-down and definitely had the marks of the behaviorism of B.F. Skinner. “Learning” was broken down into tiny compartments that made it utterly detestable. At first we used readers from the 50’s, but then we were given “modern” reading curriculum, with line after line of inane questions to be answered about the stories presented. The math curriculum not only encompassed workbook pages on each new concept, but also mimeographed pages filled with more problems.

Learning took a backseat to all of the pressure to keep up with the enormous amount of seatwork. I sat at my desk nervously thumping my knee up and down, trying desperately to keep up. Eventually, however, I stopped trying and instead concentrated on the things I loved most; my reading, exploring, and creating.

Of course, this precipitated a parent-teacher’s conference. I was so ashamed, since I had always enjoyed being considered “good” and compliant. The teacher admitted to my mother that I was a bright student, just that I had gotten behind on all my “work”. I received a half-hearted scolding from my mother, who knew herself that I didn’t have any real problems.

Thank God I only had to endure this for one year. I can’t imagine the other students having to go through this type of treatment for their entire public education. At first I was amazed at their indifference to school. They never really complained, they just didn’t care. But I later realized it was because they knew they were more than what some standardized test said they were. I was once invited to one of their birthday parties.
There I was, a blonde with skin whiter than a bleached tuna, and they made me feel a part of everything, with all of the sisters, brothers, cousins, parents, grandparents, aunts and uncles. They didn’t have straight “A’s” on their report cards, they had something more important, more enduring. They had an enormous family structure that made them stronger than any other institution and its efforts to foist “values” on them.

I didn’t learn much about reading, writing or arithmetic that year, but I learned lessons that have stayed with me my whole life, and ones which benefit my children today. Two of the most important lessons were that , number one, everyone is self-educated if given the opportunity to grow, and, number two, that family is the most important factor in determining self-image.

Around here we touch on the basics--the “Three R’s” as they call them--but always in the context of a larger picture. I do not spoon-feed things to my children. We use real books and Bible verses and life experience and hours of daily communication to put everything into context. The more I treat them as capable (within age-ability, of course), the more they blossom. They don’t always read at the “expected” age, but when they do they know exactly what they want to read about, and their thirst for knowledge and competency in the areas of their interest is only slaked with hours of self-directed immersion.

My role in all of this? I can assure you I don’t sit and watch Opra and Dr. Phil. My time is spent “in the trenches”, working right alongside them. I direct them, encourage them and provide them with the opportunities and tools they will need to become life-long learners.

Our whole garden-level basement is dedicated to their endeavors. The wall of one area is lined with books, from picture books to classic novels, most of which I have found at thrift stores or garage sales. There are bins of open-ended toys, and walls covered with maps. One area contains a sewing machine and boxes of notions and cloth. There are crocheting supplies, of course, and an assortment of paper-craft materials. We also have multiple computers with high-speed internet access, which we use almost daily. There is a file cabinet filled with worksheets, a closet with loads of games, and a shelf full of textbooks covering a number of subject areas that I use as reference or when I see a problem area that a few exercises may help remedy.

Since we aren’t slaves to some super-imposed schedule, family never takes a backseat. There is time for family outings, family celebrations, visits with Gramma and other relatives in the middle of the week in the middle of the school-year, and even to deal with an illness or a tragedy. Daddy works from home, so he goes with us to the park or the library or any other place that sounds interesting. He is not an afterthought, he is an integral part of what we do everyday. When one of our children does something she is particularly proud of, she runs into Daddy’s office and shows him, and Daddy is only happy to rejoice with her.

Unlike the compartmentalized and sketchy existences most of us lead, ones that cause us to sometimes look for diversion or meaning in some synthetic, self-destructive device, their lives are whole. Drugs, alcohol and affection without commitment don’t tempt them. Their relationships with people eclipse their need to escape into loneliness. It is our sincere desire that their identities will not be formed around their careers, their accomplishments or their possessions, although they may be quite successful in all of these areas, but around the people they are inside and those they share their lives with.

Since our 13 children came into our lives, we are not the same. The very things we hope for them have become realities for us as well. While we are challenged and move farther away from our own childishness with each new baby, we are also regaining our own child-likeness, as our resources are so little for so many, and God’s are so great. Like a Father, He leads, guides and cares for us all.

Special breakfast--banana splits

8:47 AM, Aug. 28, 2006 .. Posted in Home-making .. 3 comments .. Link

Sometimes we get a little tired of eggs or oatmeal--so I love to throw in something different!

Breakfast Banana Splits

Ripe bananas
Flavored yogurt
Toasted sliced almonds
Whipped cream (optional)

Split or cut up banana in bottom of bowl. Add generous dollup of yogurt. If desired, plop some whipped cream on top (in a pinch, I whip up some dry coffee creamer--2 parts creamer to 1 part cold milk, with sugar and vanilla to taste). Sprinkle on toasted, sliced almonds (put almonds on a pand in the oven and toast until golden).

Yummy!

We also like to add a half bagel or so on the side, just to make it more filling.

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