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This week has been a roller coaster, and I can hardly believe we're about to pull into the station, and this week's ride is almost over! How did it get to be Friday already? The week started out great, as most weeks do. Monday I didn’t get up quite as early as I wanted, but I jumped right into the morning schedule, and we had a rockin’ first day of school. We accomplished every goal I’d set for the day, and every one of us went to bed feeling fulfilled. Tuesday, with God’s amazing grace, I rose from the bed two minutes before my So a few behavioral goals for this year emerged from Tuesday morning’s events, and Matthew and I have committed to pray about this one and seek God’s wisdom on how to train the kids to honor their precious and amazing dad when he is leading lessons. When I got back, I did a few afternoon lessons. At about Wednesday was a mean bear of a day. The morning started later than I’d hoped, and Matthew and I confronted some worries. His pay is strictly commission, and this pay period is off to a very slow (as in not-moving-at-all) start. We have some big bills this pay period (namely, the rent), and we’re uncertain about how that will be paid if he doesn’t get paid. He went off to work, and the kids and I had a fairly good morning. Although, I’ve realized that I need to have everything prepped for our day the night before. I did a good job of that for Monday and Tuesday, but by Wednesday I thought, “Oh, I can do those one or two things done in the morning.” Bad idea – it’s an unnecessary time waster during the school day. Matt came home that afternoon thoroughly frustrated and angry. He’d had a few very difficult sales calls, and one in particular was less than graceful. He eventually realized that we do not wrestle against flesh and blood but against powers and principalities and that our weapons are not carnal but spiritual and have the power to pull down strongholds. But it took some time. That night was a busy one for sure. I dropped Matt and the kids at church in time for Matt’s sound check, and headed off to the Girl Scout Council meeting. I don’t like that the council meetings are on a Wednesday night. I covet that time in Bible Study, and the first Wednesday night of the month is communion at my church; I really missed being a part of it. After the council meeting, I headed back to church to get everyone. Skyler had the first Praise Dance practice of the year. So we didn’t get out until Yesterday morning was a rough one! I got out of bed pretty early, but I felt terribly groggy, and every attempt to meet with my God ended in me dozing off. The kids spent most of the day on their independent work, and I put together the Parent’s Information Meeting for our new homeschool girl scout troop. The meeting was last night, and I really enjoyed it. I just love this group of parents, and I think the girls will enjoy each working together. I’m hoping that our oldest girl and our youngest girl will each recruit a few friends for them to work and fellowship with. This morning, the boys start Lego Club and Sky is going to a friend’s to sleep over. I plan to get a good day’s schoool work in between the two. I have to spend this weekend working on the e-zine for our homeschool group, but I also need to make sure I work hard at prepping our lessons for next week. And next week, I need to pay close attention to getting to bed early so I can wake up early |
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I truly believe that one great key to success is waking up early. Jesus did it. The Proverbs 31 wife did it. But I struggle to consistently rise early. I can do it for a time, but them something shifts, and I backslide.
So here’s the schedule I’d like to shoot for: 5:30 am – Wake Up (Bathroom, make coffee, set up Bible Study) 6:00 am – Bible Study and Prayer 6:45 am – Journaling/Blogging 7:15 am – Wipe Down Bathroom 7:30 am – Morning Walk 8:00 am – Shower 8:30 am – Make/Serve Breakfast 9:00 am – Make Bed, Kids Morning Chores, Laundry 9:45 am – Set Up for Morning Lessons 10:00 am – Begin Morning Lessons Can I do it? I don’t know, but I’m committed to praying my way through. |
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So I've been out of touch for a little while. Nearly two weeks ago, as I was carrying a basket of laundry down the stairs, I slipped and fell, fracturing three vertebrae in the lumber area of my spine. Needless to say, I've been laid up. The first week I laid on the couch most of the day, taking pain medication around the clock. This second week seems to get better everyday, and although I'm still careful not to bend or lift anything and to rest when I feel tired, I'm finally walking around and able to do somethings. For all the moms out there, you can only imagine the amount of work that is awaiting a mom of five little ones. Paperwork is piling up almost as rapidly as the laundry. The fridge is crying to be emptied and wiped out. That bathroom is longing for some Comet and a bit of good, old-fashioned elbow grease. And our projects are sitting in a box by the computer, collecting dust. We still have many packets to mail out for our 50 States Project, Christmas cards to prepare (which will probably become New Years cards), pictures to take, gifts to make, a whole house to decorate... It seems God's plan for this season was different than ours. |
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Jesus said it’s easy to love those who love us, and it’s easy to do good to those who do good to us. He challenged us to love those who think the worst of us and to do good to those who mistreat us.
In the same way, it’s easy to stay focused when all of our ducks are in a row. It’s easy to walk in patience with our children when the house is clean, the dishwasher is empty, the laundry is under control, the lessons are prepared, and the dinner is in the crock-pot. But one challenge that almost every homeschool mom faces from time to time (some of us more than we’d like) is to stay focused and patient under less-than-desirable household conditions. On the days when I awake to a dishwasher full of dirty dishes and a pot in the sink, various items on the dining room table (where we eat all of our meals and do most of our school work), Mount Washmore awaiting me in the laundry room, a bathroom just begging to be wiped down and mopped, and a mess in the kids rooms…you’ve awoken to this kind of day in your house, right?…on those days, it’s hard to stay focused. I want to throw myself into the housecleaning. And I want to chat with a friend while I’m tackling it all. Every so often, I want to take a break and check the email, maybe read a blog. But then the kids have an argument, and they need me to intervene. All the fruit of the Spirit needs to bloom in me at that moment, but the truth is that my heart is turned in another direction, and it takes diligence to turn it back toward them. It takes self control to recognize that once the dishes are clean and ready for the next meal, a load of laundry is the machine, and dinner is mapped out, it doesn’t matter if the bathroom isn’t as clean as I’d like. It doesn’t matter if the kid’s bedrooms are messy or if my room isn’t dusted. What matters is putting my focus on the children, their character training and their education. Maybe that’s easy for some, but it is not easy for me. Moreover, at the end of the day, I need to remember how much I don’t like functioning in a home that isn’t as clean and organized as it can be. So I need to forgo the time on the computer, the couch or in bed with a good book, and get the house in order, so I don’t have to be so challenged again the next day. Most importantly, on those challenging days, I need more than ever to stay connected to the source of all wisdom, love, patience, long-suffering and self-control. And for some crazy reason, it’s during those days that I seem to struggle the most in my own flesh. So today, being one of the challenging ones (as Mondays often are), I vow to do what’s necessary and leave what’s not. I vow to set a deadline for the morning cleaning and stop when the deadline comes. I vow to pull out an index card containing a Scripture to memorize, and carry it with me as I work, and I vow to stay connected to my God through quiet prayer as I work toward restoration and recovery. It’s going to be a good day. |
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I’ve come to notice that there are two kinds of Mondays in my house, and which one it turns out to be depends on the Sunday before it. The first kind of Monday, and the far better one for sure, welcomes me before dawn with a clean house, a plan for the day, homeschool lessons prepared. On this Monday I wake up to a quiet, sleeping house, greeted by the delicious smell of automatically brewing coffee. I spend the early hour before the sun peeks out alone with my God, followed by a refreshing shower. I toss in a load of laundry, and make breakfast for the kids. After they eat, I cheer them on to their morning chores, and prepare the table for lessons. All the meals are planned and ingredients on hand. After dinner, I read to the children, pray over them and kiss them goodnight. Matthew and I settle into the quiet of the evening, and spend a couple of hours snuggled together. Like a deep cleansing breath, this kind of Monday nourishes and refreshes our family.
But the refreshing Monday does not ever happen by accident. It’s born of focus and discipline throughout the weekend, staying on top of laundry and housework, and diligently planning lessons, copying pages and sharpening pencils. It’s the direct result of a deliberate Sunday night preparation, complete with clothing set out for Monday morning, automatic coffee pot prepared, alarm clock set and an early lights out.
Then there are the other Mondays. A day of recovery, I suppose, with lots of laundry, dishes, cleaning, organizing—putting together the pieces left strewn about over an unfocused, undisciplined weekend. I can usually be found still in my PJs come dinnertime, exasperated that the whole day is gone. There were no lessons to speak of, save those caught by observant children who hope to have fewer days like these in the future. On these Mondays, I usually wake up when the kids do, or even after one or two of them. I shuffle downstairs and sigh at the sink full of dishes, heat up a cup of coffee left in the pot from the afternoon before, and begin to work with little direction. I remember to make breakfast when the kids complain that they’re hungry…and the rest of the day just happens to me. These Mondays usually end with me at the computer planning or preparing for something (a birthday party, holiday, unit study). Something about that planning helps me recover and refocus.
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We packed up the lights and ornaments, hauled the now brittle tree to the curb and said goodbye to Christmas once again. Skyler, in all of her sentimental cuteness, clipped off a small branch from the tree and wrapped a tag around it that said “2006.” It was her sweet way of being able to let go and move on. I have no such attachments. I’d had my fill of sweeping up needles. Oh, I enjoyed the advent celebration – reading Christmas stories, baking sugary treats, watching old and new movies, studying the symbols of the season and all the other fun, sentimental and inspiring ways we prepared our hearts for Christmas. And of course, I loved sharing the story of Jesus’ birth once again with my children. This year, I felt an especially strong desire to really consecrate my heart for the celebration. As I was feverishly cleaning for the big Christmas breakfast we hosted, I told my husband that for the first time I was cleaning not to impress our guests but to prepare our home for a visit from the Savior. I felt blessed that were able to fulfill the small wishes of our children by giving each of them three special gifts on Christmas morning. And I deeply cherished the sights and sounds of rejoicing that let us know we had chosen the gifts well. It is a true blessing to know our children so intimately as to discern the desires of their heart. Come to think of it, I suppose the joy that we feel when we watch our children receive our blessings is a teensy glimpse at how God must feel when He blesses us with something our heart’s desire. |
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A New Year is always inspirational to me. Perhaps it’s childish or foolish, but it always gives me a fresh start. Like Paul said, “forgetting those things which are behind, and reaching forth unto those things which are before.” I guess some may think it’s kind of corny, but I really like to make a New Year’s Resolution. Sometimes my resolutions are very specific; other times, they’re more of concept or state of mind. I remember the year I met Matthew. It was ten years ago, and my resolution at the start of the New Year was to be like the feather in the Forrest Gump movie, floating on the wind, relaxed and willing to go wherever it takes me. I wasn’t a Christian then, and so indeed some of my choices were impulsive (to say the least), but by the end of the year, I had moved 1,300 miles away, gained a best friend and husband in Matthew and given birth to our first child. A decade later, I suppose I’m glad I allowed myself to be completely irrational that year; I may not have chosen marriage and motherhood had I given it the serious contemplation one should. Now that I know God, I know how potentially destructive it is to let the world guide all your choices, and certainly there were many prices to be paid that year, but still, there was a lesson in that kind of letting go. In the height of the information age, it’s easy to fully explore and carefully analyze the pros and cons of all things. Most often it’s wise to do so. Jesus said, “For which of you, intending to build a tower, sitteth not down first, and counteth the cost, whether he have sufficient to finish it?” But there is also something to be said for following the lead of the Holy Spirit, even when it doesn’t make sense. For God’s ways are not our ways. As we turn the calendar to a new year, I always feel such great hope. You know, being a Christian in such a politically divided world makes it difficult to agree with anything the opposing party says or does. To agree with someone about any one thing who may not hold my overall political views almost feels like a betrayal, but I can’t help like the title of Democratic presidential hopeful Barak Obama’s book, The Audacity of Hope. That’s precisely what I feel at this time of year. In spite of all our challenges and trials and struggles, I have the audacity to hope for great things this year. But it’s not because of some intrinsic human bravery or strength of the human spirit or an over-inflated belief in my husband and myself. It’s because I trust that God’s ways are higher than our ways. And I trust that He knows the thoughts He thinks towards us, thoughts of peace and not of evil. We are His children, and He desires to give us good things. We know the trials we face will never be wasted, and that God is using them to refine our character, and that, as we trust Him, it causes those around us to give God glory. So I have great hope for the coming year. My resolution this year is one word: FOCUS! I’ve heard it said that focus stands for Follow One Course Until Successful. I have some specific goals for my year. I want to regain my health and vitality and lose weight, especially around my belly. Did you know that the measure of your waist (the distance around your back from your belly button) should be no more than half your height in inches. So I am 63 inches tall, which means my waist should be no more than 31.5 inches. And anything over that is detrimental to my health. In fact, research shows that your waist measurement is a much superior way to track your health than your weight. That said, my weight is pretty awful. The consensus seems to be that for a woman of my height at my age with my build, I should weigh somewhere between 120 and 130 pounds. I weigh between 183 and 187, depending on the day. And my waist is a whopping 36 inches. I have other goals and hopes for 2007, but since my resolution is FOCUS, I decided to start here. For the month of January, I want to develop three daily habits that will reinforce my health goals. First and foremost, I want to read and study God’s word every day. I guess that seems obvious, but the truth is, I don’t make time for God every day. I wake up and allow the day to take over. Food, kids, homeschool, Matt’s business, cleaning, laundry…and by the end of it, I collapse in the bed and watch an hour of mindless TV before drifting off to sleep. I do pray throughout the day, as I’m busy with household things and daily tasks, but I’ve always known that just praying and not reading His word is like a one-sided marriage, where only one partner is allowed to do the talking. I need God’s guidance and support, and I need to be washed by His word. For whatever reason, I feel called to read at least Psalms and Daniel this month. I’m still working on transcribing Deuteronomy whenever I get a chance (or rather, make the time). It is a slow way to study God’s word, but it is amazing how clear His word becomes when you transcribe it word for word. It requires a unique focus. Journaling is another way that I intend to support my health goals. God has given me a desire to write and an ability to use words well, and journaling (when I’ve been faithful to it) throughout my life, has been a unique way to focus my thoughts and explore my options. I think I’m an external processor, meaning I need to talk about a thing or write about it or pray about it out loud or on paper to make sense of it. Some people need to retreat and meditate and think. Not me. I need to get it out of me where I can see it, and roll it around, bounce it off a good listener or write it out. Whether it’s blogging, or writing my thoughts in an email to a good support person, or employing the old fashioned pen and journal, it is my intention to write from my heart every single day in January, even if it’s just a few lines in a few minutes. And the third habit I’d like to develop in January is walking for a half hour every single day. Like the post office – rain or shine or snow or sleet, I don’t not want a single excuse to allow me to go one of the 31 days in January without walking! So I guess I’ll print out a January calendar and post it by my desk so I can track my three habits. As the month tarries on, I’d like to meditate on the word focus. Merriam Webster has an interesting definition for “focus” -- to bring (as light rays) to a focus. Perhaps in my quest to focus this year, I can help shine light on Jesus for others, and bring Him into their focus. |