Yesterday I had a great morning in Bible Study (I go to Community Bible Study and we're studying Matthew). We discussed chapter 17 where Matthew wrote of the Transfiguration, Jesus healing an epileptic boy, and Jesus paying the temple tax. We talked about how Jesus had a "mountain top" experience (literally) then came down to settle an argument between the scribes and disciples. Isn't that how it often is? We have a mountain top experience then CRASH!
Well, as I was getting my stuff together one of the children's teachers came to me and said that Eric (5yo) had had a bad morning. So I reluctantly walked downstairs not sure of what I'd find. He was sitting outside his classroom in a chair with a huge frown on his face. I knelt down next to him and asked him what was wrong. He said, "I don't know." I asked him why he was sitting outside the classroom and he replied, "I don't know." His teacher came out and knelt down next to us. She asked him if he wanted to tell me what had happened or if he wanted her to. He refused to answer so she told me that he'd been upset all morning. He wanted to be line leader but it wasn't his turn so he refused to participate in any activities. At one point another boy and Eric got into a tussle and Eric hit the boy in the eye (when we asked him about it later he said, "It was a punch, not a hit."). Anyway, since he was unwilling to participate in the activities the teacher decided he needed to sit by himself. I talked to him for a few minutes then told him we needed to go get Alec and Annika. He would not stand up and I didn't think to threaten to call Mike so I had to carry him up 2 flights of stairs (5 months pregnant and all)! We got the other 2 with some difficulty (Eric would not walk and I had to almost pull him from one room to the other).
When we got in the van he started crying because "I didn't get my way!" Alec started screaming because he couldn't get his pb crackers open, and Annika was screaming because she needed to go to sleep. So I had 3 crying kids. I CRASHED big time!! Through it all I kept my calm and didn't scream/yell at them which is my inclination.
After we got on the road I turned on my MP3 player and heard the song below. I cried as I heard,
I'm lost without You, I need to know it's okay.
I'm lost without You, show me the right way.
I'm lost without You, it's what I live for.
Count it all joy,all that you're going through, even when you're feeling down.
Count it all joy,each moment's a gift to you, so turn it all around."
I AM lost without God. I need Him to direct. And I needed to know that God was pleased with how I'd reacted. As I was driving down the road I realized that the past 1/2 hour was a gift from God (for what purpose I don't know) and my 3 screaming kids are PRECIOUS gifts from God. I needed to count this experience as ALL JOY!!!
Count It All Joy
I'm lost without You, I need to know it's okay.
I'm lost without You, show me the right way.
I'm lost without You, it's what I live for.
Count it all joy,all that you're going through,
even when you're feeling down.
Count it all joy,each moment's a gift to you,
so turn it all around.
Verse 1:
It's hard to understand sometimes, is there a master plan;
how do I make sense of everything I'm going through?
But maybe it's not ours to know, so we have to learn to let things go,
and simply try to make the most of every day
and have the faith that somehow we will find our way.
Chorus 1:
Count it all joy, yeah, (all that you're going through),
no matter what you're going through, (even when you're feeling down).
Count it all joy, yeah, (each moment's a gift to you),
no matter what you're going through, (so turn it all around).
Even in the darkest night, (if you look hard enough),
(there's a trace of sunlight waiting there), yes, waiting there for you.
Verse 2:
Been searching everywhere to find that rainbow in the air,
whenever I came close, it just seemed to disappear.
I had to change my point of view, start looking at myself,
I can't believe I never knew, everything that I needed
was right here, yes, inside of me.
Bridge:
(I don't have to be afraid), from today, I have the faith that somehow I will find my way.
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Feb. 10, 2008 - Untitled Comment