Walking Therein

Define Socialization For Me...

7:01 PM, Sunday, February 25, 2007 .. Posted in Oh LORD, Help Me Live Biblically .. 5 comments .. Link

Standing in line at the Dollar General the other day reminded me why I am so glad we homeschool. So glad we homeschool for reasons we chose to homeschool. It wasn't academic or social. (Actually, it was a safety issue.) Of course, since public schools and even private schools cannot always - or sometimes - boast about how well-educated their graduates are, they have to pick on some other means that homeschooling is bad for our children... and, being socialized is their usual subject of choice.

As I stood there in line with our 15-year-old and 7-year-old daughters, the female checker and the woman in line ahead of me started the typical small-talk subject that women engage in at the grocery line: their children. Or maybe I should say their little monsters that they can hardly stand to be around. I don't know if I am happy or disappointed they didn't nod my way, because I am not sure what I would have said.

We have had some snow in the past couple of weeks, and several days of school closings to go along with that, and on that particular day, we had dense fog that caused school to be cancelled for the day -again. So, as I blogged about from Dana's post, these poor parents have been subjected to "socializing" with their own children for several days of the past couple of weeks.

Patron Mom in line was so happy she was going to go home and have some quiet time to herself - finally - and clean up the house, "without those pesky kids around". Checker Mom agreed, saying she didn't know about "your kids, but mine just get louder as they get older." Patron Mom agreed and they went on to console each other in their misery of parenting, so happy to be saved from these nuisances by the public school on a daily basis. *sigh*

As I left, I thought how I would rather raise children with the social skills of worms than have to stand in line and gripe about my horrible life, because I have allowed them to become socialized to the point that not only can I not stand to be around them, but that they won't listen to me when I tell them to do something. I thought, hmm... on the balance scale, let's see... socialized children, obedient children... no doubt in my mind which way I would want the scale to tip. I told Jocelyn I would rather have freaks of society in the socialization dept. than children I thought were bratty monsters I couldn't stand to be around. It kills me that parents have given control of the child training to a system socially out-of-control, and now they don't even want to socialize with their own children.

AAAAUUUGHHHHHH! As if...

I cannot imagine having children who are so socialized they could care less about me or our family. So socialized they can't wait to go back to school and their friends. So socialized they cannot function in a family setting without the aid of a cell phone, video games, tv or friends their own ages. If that is what socialization is, let the ps keep it. Let society keep it. Do we not realize that when you leave high school, you live in the real world, and if socialization is your goal, you don't get very far?

Apparently not, because, on the news the same night I about passed out when I heard the newslady make her remark that it was so good that the weather was clearing up, because parents were ready for kids to get back to school without delay in the morning. It makes you want to say, "Hello? Mc Fly?" (Ok, maybe not if you weren't a teen in the 80's, but you get my drift.)

Fortunately, our children are not lacking in the social skills dept. - nor are they so horrible I cannot stand to be around them. I enjoy being around them. I enjoy being around respectful, considerate children whose main interest is not age-segregated friends, the latest fashion, movies or "being bored". I enjoy being around homeschooled children whose parents are concerned with their training rather than their socialization.

I also don't whine and cry that I 'need a break' or "can't wait 'til they go to wherever so I can have time all to myself". I have heard this so much as a parent. I have been 'praised' so many times for my 'patience'. *yeah, oh ple-e-ease!!* I have asked myself, "Do I need time all to myself?". Ocasionally maybe, but not at the expense of my feelings for my children and my family. I consider harboring those feelings to that point very self-centered and ungodly. I mean, by all means, get alone and spend time with the Lord and your husband or even some friends occasionally, but why do we feel it is owed to us? Mothering is a privilege designed by God. There is plenty of time, even in our family of 9 to take time for myself. And, if I (knowing the Lord) feel like I can't stand my children, why on earth would I want other people to know I feel this way about what I at other times refer to as God's blessings??

I left DG saying "Why did they *have* children in the first place? If they are just cursings in your life, why be bound under that? People do not have an inkling about children. They think it's just the thing to do, without thought for why they do it.

Now, before you go down the "Now, remember how you were, when your children were little" path... Not wanting to be too hard on these poor Moms, I thought about that, too. I realized I have felt this way since Amanda, who is 17, was about, um, 2 years old. I may not have known it the way I do now, but I remember church friends who would just go on about how they couldn't wait for school to start again, and it just infuriated me. One just wanted free time to sit out by the pool without her 3 kids....

Praise God for our children. We may not always 'socialize' them properly - or train them properly - or even always feel like being nice to them, but that is when we turn to God and say, hmm.... it's me, it's me, it's me Oh, Lord, standing in the need of prayer....

Lately, when I walk into a room for the umpteenth time and find it is out-of-order *AGAIN*, I have found my self saying, "Oh boy, do I love my children. "Oh boy, do I love my children." I can just hear God up there, as I make the same foolish mistake again, "Oh, do I love my Son who died for her."

So, not to be smug and haughty about homeschooling our children, but, I am so happy they are homeschooled, instead of socialized. I am so happy we can all grow together in the Lord. I am glad we don't have to fight the youth group socialization and this club or that team socialization. It gives us so much more time to learn God's Word and plan for their futures as He plans them.
I spent the better part of this week in the barn building horse stalls with/for Amanda and in the goats' pen with Jocelyn, as we wait for her goat to kid. We have enjoyed each other. We have learned together. We have loved each other.

God, please help me if I ever stand in line at the market, complaining about these children you have put into our care. Help me to train them so I want to socialize with them, so they learn how to socialize properly and not selfishly.

Be blessed as you train your children for the Lord-
-Jacque

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Congratulations to Jocelyn, whose goat, Chloe, kidded last night, 3 kids!
And - to Amanda, who finally had her long-requested prayer answered yesterday, as she got her filly!

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