Walking Therein

    When I tell them that "older child" is totally in love with and awe of the new Little One, they are completely surprised that the other has accepted the new baby into the house and his space. It boggles my mind. Why is this an expectation? As a Believer, should I even have this expectation?

    Is it odd that we have prepared our children for this Blessing from God and waited with expectation for months now?  Are we supposed to expect them to dislike this precious little helpless baby, this Gift from God?

    For 3 weeks, I have watched with delight as 22m Caleb watches his new Baby Sister intently. He stays just a few inches from her face, staring at the wonder of her. It isn't just a couple of seconds. That is the amazing thing. He stands there for minutes. He says she's a Good Girl. If he is not completely mesmerized with her, he is asking to see her and give her a kiss on the cheek. And we let him. We keep careful watch when he is near her, because, well, he's 1. One-year-olds don't have a grasp of the delicacy of newborns, obviously. But, let him look. We let him touch her and 'pet' her... and maybe he can see that she will need a big brother to protect her as she grows. And, if encouraged in the right way, he may take it upon himself to be that protector God has created him as a young man to be.

    It is all in our expectations. Do we expect him to love her or be jealous of her? Do we expect him to hit her or treat her gently? Is he expected to behave in a selfish manner in any other area? How do we teach children to behave? By expecting them not to? No. We teach them what we expect them to do and then we expect that. Of course human (sin) nature will try to take over and selfishness may come through, but that is when the instruction and encouragement comes in.

    However, I truly do not see the love and wonder of a new Baby as even in the same arena. I suppose if a child around the age of 2 has been trained to be completely self-centered, then, yes, that child will expect every moment of attention be turned to him. What a great disservice you would have done to that child, yourself and his siblings! What a lot of work you have to do now to help that child love himself and his family in the way he should... and with a newborn, you have your work cut out for you!

    3 1/2 yo Isaac walks around the house saying random things like, "I love her," and, "She is so beautiful." At the ripe old age of 3, he sees her value. He sees her frailty and the beauty of God's love and creation in his sister. We did not have to sit for hours and teach him that. It truly was love at first sight for him. The first time he saw her, his eyes widened, his face lit up, and he let out a squeal of awe. It was more than I expected. It was pure joy that cannot be taught. It was in there, and it came out. He waited with expectancy for his new little Baby to come, and when she did, the joy came right out.

    And, that is how the Lord works. And that is how He wants us to train our children: to love others, consider them above ourselves, value human life, and love the way He would. When we don't interfere with His plan and we put a value on something or someone the way that He would, then it is real and it is pure. It isn't something to put our own desires in front of... And, OH! the benefits!

Blessings-

Jacque