Walking Therein

Honestly, What Are You Feeling?

3:39 AM, Wednesday, June 20, 2007 .. Posted in Seeking Rest in Heart and Home .. 14 comments .. Link

I was reading over Sand, Sea and School's posts. I read over several of the older ones. They are somewhat 'older', because one of the authors, whom you know as Heather of Especially Heather, had brain surgery for a tumor last month.

I love the honesty on their blog. I sometimes feel like I only post positive posts and that's it. And I do. You all want me to air my dirty laundry? I don't.

If you read Heather's main blog, you will be shocked by her honesty... and then you will be drawn in by it. It is amazing.

I read about when Heather first pulled her children out of public school. She wasn't 'afraid', persay, but it was a pretty scary step for her. I never had that experience because we have always had them home, but I sure can imagine that the unknown of what was to come is still there - even with the confidence you can do better than the pss.

I do know the fear of not being sure if you should press your 9yo non-reader to read... especially when so-n-so grandparent is asking her younger brother who is 5 if he is reading yet and what grade is he in. And, I'm sitting next to him. And he is *trying* to explain we 'don't do grades', but is being insisted upon that 'you have to do grades'. So, do we *have* to do grades??? I already had the answer for that one, thankfully. We don't.

We didn't press her... or him when he turned 9 and didn't want to really read yet. He's 10 now and reading the Chronicles of Narnia series.

Or how about having 2 in high school? In a state that has really high requirements for "credits" that don't prove anything, because most of the area high schools are on academic probation, but you know homeschoolers are more scrutinized?

It is a scary thing. Sometimes I feel like I am winging it. I do have criteria set up that we are following as far as goals and studies. I even made up my own classes and requirements they have to pass. Still, when we don't stick to a specific schedule, and I look at the past week and have to find where we fill things in, it can be a scary thing. I know I could follow a specific textbook schedule and feel the same way.

I remember when we were using A Beka and I had ordered the works of Algebra1. Paid a bunch of money for it all, too. We did graphs for what seemed like forever! I copied, we did worksheets, charted, graphed, the girls understood it, then failed most of the quizzes or tests.

What???

And the graphs were not going to end... it seemed. So I got the books together and sold them on Ebay. Yep. I sold them all. Now what? I didn't know. But I knew that was not working. I went over it with them. We went over their mistakes... which they knew how to correct... scary stuff when you have people leaving comments on your blog about how you are ruining your child. How are they going to make it? Whatever. I don't have all of those fancy letters behind my name, but I can teach a child to read. And write and speak rather well, if I do say so myself. I can do math in my head, and so can my 10yo.

We homeschool all year to fill in that "time gap" we may have to make sure we hit the "requirements". It's also easier than the stop and start we used to do at the end of the school year.

I struggled for awhile with the whole textbook issue. Do we need to complete a textbook or a workbook?? Do I need to have worksheets? Am I doing a disservice to my children if I don't sit them down and make them do workbooks?

How about wondering if the local school - police - whomever is going to come knocking at your door because you have offended a large church in the area and you never know; they might call you in, just because?? Yes, we were "kicked out" of the church we loved and attended for 5 years... we are non-conformists, I guess. Go figure.

Or going to the grocery store with 6 children, forgetting that all the "normal kids" are still in school, so what are yours doing at the grocery store?? Not to mention the fact that you have 4 walking with you, one in the shopping cart and one in a backpack on your back and people think you are kinda' weird anyway.

Or, that you don't have every single day out of the 180 days you've done school specifically recorded and it's May?

A lot of this I don't worry about anymore. A lot of this, I just know I am doing the right thing, and if someone comes to my door or asks me questions about school truancy, I will just whip out my little folded-up paper in my wallet and say, "These are the homeschool laws in Indiana." Or "We are on a field trip." Or.. "our school session is out for today... or, we are on break this week." I am so not worried about it.

I don't worry about parents or grandparents anymore either. When we had Isaac at home as a home birth, I worried. It was unkown to me and there were some 'fears'. It was probably pretty weird to our families at first. Scary, I'm sure for my Mom. Now, when she showed our family picture last month and got some silly, usual question about "when are they going to be done?????", she just said something like, "Hmmm.... I don't know. I think they are letting the Lord take care of that." Ha. My Mom, who is a "child of the 60's". I love it! Homeschooling is just life now.

So, it is really refreshing to read a blog that addresses such questions and fears honestly and openly. I think we *should* address tough questions we face in our lives, if not just to let each other know they are not alone. Or just to give help -or receive it- from someone who has experienced the same thing.

Here I am up at almost 3 in the morning. THAT is something I struggle with. Thankfully, I am not up at this hour every night. (I don't feel so bad now. Sprittibee just emailed me. I am *not the only one!)

I am also struggling with getting my garden in and lack of help from my children. My children who are good workers and usually pretty compassionate when it comes to Mom having to do the hard labor. It frustrates me to be out there while they are inside, especially when I know they will pitch a fit if I ask them to come help. Not all of them, and not any one in particular each time. But it does happen. Of course it does. We are a normal family with normal struggles.

There. There is my honest post.
Oh, and, another honest thing... I am so blessed. Besides the awesome family I have, God has given me friendships with women through this blog I never could have ever thought would happen. Wonderful ladies. Ladies who email me to see how I'm doing or what's up. Ladies I can pop an email over to and find out how they are or read a post and email them personally to let them know I am praying for them.

I know we all have our "blog circles", even though we read other blogs, and I love reading many blogs and learning about your lives. I am thankful God has blessed me (and my girls) with good friends through this little blog. Wow. Whoda' thought????

Be Blessed!

-Jacque

I love this:

Bless me, what *do* they teach them at these schools?
- CS Lewis, The Lion, the Witch, & the Wardrobe

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Great post!!

7:49 AM, Wednesday, June 20, 2007 .. Posted by kympossible
Those are things that most of us struggle with at one time or another. And while I must admit that I get a bit anxious every time I need to submit grades to our oversight, and especially when I need to meet my evaluator for year-end review (I got that call yesterday O-8= ) I have learned that I don't need to stay in that anxious place. We are doing what God has laid on our hearts to do; we are doing our best at it; and we have the blessing of wonderful support. I just need to remind myself that I don't need to sweat the small stuff!!

By the way, the C.S. Lewis quote is one of my all-time favorites from the Narnia series!

Blessings,
Kym

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10:37 AM, Wednesday, June 20, 2007 .. Posted by totustuus
I love that CS Lewis quote, too. ;-)

I can't imagine how hard it must be to have to deal with state requirements for school. My mom decided that she didn't even want to deal with keeping track of me for high school. I technically attend a public school (online), so it keeps all of my credits, GPA, and stuff that Mom doesn't have time to do. It's a great compromise because I can stay home and still have that close tie and connection with my parents and siblings.

I have know many families who have homeschooled traditionally through the high school years!! And they certainly didn't mess up their kids. ;-) They're all fine adults now because they know what's important in life. And the government is not after them for truancy. ;-)

I know the feeling of being "kicked out" of a church, too. It has happened to us - with our church of 13 years.

Thanks again for posting the Narnia trivia contest info on your contest blog!! I hope that this will be a good boost for your girls *ahem* to read those Narnia books. >:-] You know, their literary lives are not complete until they have read them. Lol I think that BlogBoy agrees with me!!

Regards,
Sylvia
Eph. 5:1-2

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2:33 PM, Wednesday, June 20, 2007 .. Posted by quietcajun
Jacque,
I love the "HONEST" blogs. The ones that let me know I am not alone. That I am not the only one who has struggles and failures!

Sometimes I look at photos in hs magazines and on hs blogs and it appears that the family in the photo has it "all together". Of course, no one wants to publish a photo of a mom having a meltdown in a Navy Commissary! But the biggest blessing may come from understanding JUST that!

Life is so much more than a snapshot!

Life is so much more than any given moment in time: good OR bad.

Life is made up of the continuing process to becoming who we are meant to be IN CHRIST!

That's why I keep coming back to your (and your family's) blogs!

THANK-YOU for being REAL!

Great post.

10:20 PM, Wednesday, June 20, 2007 .. Posted by REInvestor
Honesty is good too, because it helps others relate to your struggles. We all have them. And being positive is good because it encourages us. So thanks for sharing. I think one big value of Homeschoolblogger is that when we feel lonely and wierd in our circles of where we live we go online and find many other mom's who feel the same and share our values and commitments. We need to know sometimes that there are at least 3000 who have not bowed their need to Baal in this land.
Jennifer

Hi Jacque

1:51 AM, Thursday, June 21, 2007 .. Posted by nancysnook
Thank you so much for the comment. I think the SSA is a great group for girls too. I'm thinking maybe I shouldn't have posted about it at all...I've been corrected about 4 times on it. LOL...I had the girls age on there the first time and had to keep moving the banner around, so I must have lost the line she wrote about it when I copied it so many times. I know it's for young girls/young ladies because my daughter is so excited about being a part of it too.
I never did go back to homeschoolestore either to get the downloads, I couldn't get them to work at all, even this time. Have a nice night. Nancy

not sure...

2:21 AM, Thursday, June 21, 2007 .. Posted by nancysnook
But the email just came yesterday...wish I could download the ones you want and just send them via snail mail...I couldn't get past the Cart thing, I kept getting messages saying I wasn't signed in when I was. Have you gone to wowio.com, they have a fantastic site full of free e-books! I've downloaded close to 400MB in e-books, just for my reading/studying! LOL. I'll try e-store again and if it works you can send me what you want and I'll mail them to you on disk, then you'll always have them....just what you need , eh, more stuff! LOL

I forgot...

2:27 AM, Thursday, June 21, 2007 .. Posted by nancysnook
They aren't starting the free downloads until June 25th...Let me know if you want them on disk...won't take but a few minutes to do that. Nancy

I should have just emailed you...

2:33 AM, Thursday, June 21, 2007 .. Posted by nancysnook
At least it looks like you have tons of comments! LOL I just went to the estore and they're only going to offer 4 titles/day for free for the week of June 25th. I already have Eragon and Eldest that I bought back in January if you're interested in them...I can email or put on disk. I'm not sure what your feelings on those are...hope I don't offend you in any way.

Last comment...

2:52 AM, Thursday, June 21, 2007 .. Posted by nancysnook
Sorry about so many comments, I'll do better next time. I really like what your post said, about being honest and about homeschooling concerns. I've had more than my share of troubles out of our public school board, but I just keep praying and trusting that the Lord will help us through and He does, everytime! All KY requires is attendance and the possibility of showing grades...

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10:20 PM, Thursday, June 21, 2007 .. Posted by BlogBoy
Mom and I couldn't stop laughing about that, I don't really sound to Scottish though. =D

Well, if I can get some commitments from Paul, then maybe we can talk on the phone about NJAO.

I wasn't that bad! You want to here my Swedish accent?

Now we are going overboard with this mad stuff! JK LOL JK LOL JK LOL JK LOL JK LOL JK LOL

Eric

Oh, yeah!

12:17 AM, Saturday, June 23, 2007 .. Posted by ChristineRead
Hey Jacque,

I always feel like I am the last person to comment on everybody's blog I read! I am just amazed how many of the same struggles and/or experiences we have had. Because education has become so institutionalized such that the culture says we need the "experts" doing it, homeschoolers start feeling the pressure from family, strangers, the education establishment and even themselves because we can't duplicate institutionalization well enough to look "legitimate." Even folks in the Church many times will think we are messing up because we dare to buck the educational system, dare to keep having children, dare to make an effort to live biblically or maybe too sober mindedly. And then, we start thinking maybe we SHOULD require more work from this child or that, and maybe we SHOULD do this or that and then start feeling discouraged or condemned because we HAVEN'T done better. That is what gets me. When I know my convictions and am convinced something is right and true, criticism or persecution doesn't bother me. But if someone hits me where I am weak, or says something hurtful and they might be right perhaps, that is when I start getting shaky. Not that I am going to quit, but I wonder then, do they have a point.

My Dad was a University president for 7 years. I was newly married when he took over as President (this was then 19 years ago). I have a brother (and another one that died) and 2 step siblings and I am definitely the odd one, let me tell you. Just imagine. We are starting to get questions about when and where Amanda will go to college. Everytime you think you get to a point where you know your calling, you know the road, you got it all down pat, and then up comes the curve! But that is why we need the Lord, we have to have Him, we cannot live apart from Him. We need His help and direction. He has done the calling and He will see us through.

By the way, I still have trouble getting to bed at a reasonable hour - not every night as you say, but it is a struggle. And my zucchini are wilting in this heat and drought! And I have ants in my kitchen! But man, I so love this life.

Blessings to you this evening and thanks for your blog.

Chris

Love this post!

4:20 AM, Saturday, June 23, 2007 .. Posted by AFJen88
Thanks for sharing.....I haven't had time to visit many blogs lately, so I was blessed to read this tonight while I had a few minutes. I can so relate to many of your experiences.
Blessings,
Jen

You have it right on!

7:59 AM, Saturday, June 23, 2007 .. Posted by Anonymous
If you can be positive AND honest its a great thing! Don't second guess what a joy that can be to others, we all need to smile, and your post brings one to me :-) Blessings to you and yours!
Susan
http://4plus3equalschaos.blogspot.com/

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2:28 PM, Saturday, June 23, 2007 .. Posted by ThreeLittleLadies
Great post, Jacque. Way to be real! It's an encouragement to us out here.

carol

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Walking Therein

Honestly, What Are You Feeling?

Great post!!

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Great post.

Hi Jacque

not sure...

I forgot...

I should have just emailed you...

Last comment...

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Oh, yeah!

Love this post!

You have it right on!

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