Homepage Archives Email Me! RSS Feed

In Christina's Saturday P&P post, Blest Be the Tie That Binds, she posed the thought,
"Sometimes I feel so lonely. I rarely leave my home lately. Homeschooling is all consuming! By the time schoolwork is done, I have barely enough time to do the housework and prepare meals. I don't understand how we got anything done when we had 1,000 outside commitments. I am thankful that we can be home more and get more meaningful things accomplished."

She goes on to say, "I think when the Scripture says that God puts the lonely in families it applies not only to bringing those without a family in, but ALSO to the fact that we can find TRUE friendship within the walls of our own home sweet home! My children and my husband really ARE my best friends!  I love them with all of my heart!"

Why Christians look to others outside their families first for relationships is beyond me. I think we really do not understand. Where better - and safer- a place to learn how to treat others and how to handle controversy, but with those the Lord gave us? Perhaps we are lonely because we are looking everywhere for that fulfillment, except for our own families.
I am not saying we can't or shouldn't have outside friends. I did say "why do we look to others FIRST." We should have outside friendships, but those should not be where we place our time and feelings and respect firstly. And, let's face it, a lot of times when we have friends we want to spend time with, regardless of whether we are talking about adults, young adults or younger children, we place our own wants and those of our friends first. We will leave our children home, sometimes as soon as Daddy walks in the door, because we have other obligations or we have a girls night out. Again, once in awhile is one thing. I know sometimes it is a weekly occurrence - a feeling of "I have a right to" - or "I earned it."

That is part of what we disagree with the public schools and most churches today about. We as a culture or as Christians can say it's all about the family, but until it really is, it isn't. It's really about my rights. Like, one I really love is "my right to hear a sermon with no children in the sanctuary."  As if it is some unwritten rule. And, it is an unwritten rule. The written ones tell us to "Let the little children come unto Me," and "Train up a child," and "(Parents) Teach them as you walk with them and talk with them." I personally have heard parents be told that they "need" to put their children into the nursery or class, so they can have a break and go to church.
Our hearts should be full and prepared to go to church and minister to others, not feel like it is a re-fueling station to drop our kids off and take a break. It should be a place of learning to serve the Lord and others, introducing them to a new Saviour or praying for those who are struggling.

Many cultures and religions know that if you keep a child under certain 'indoctrination' until the age of 5 - and even the age of 12- they will be better grounded in those beliefs. We send our children from a very young age into unmonitored friendships, segregated church classrooms and groups (which are of the same order as the pss), perhaps to public school, and under the control of other parenting beliefs that we don't even realize until it is sometimes too late.
We train our children to look outside our families for friendships by segregating them into their little age groups whenever we go to friends' homes, to church and church functions, for sleepovers, birthday parties and the like. I know for a fact that any age is a tender age, and we can NEVER know everything that is going on in another room or behind closed doors. We are remiss in not keeping our eyes constantly on our children, especially when they are with other children.

What she said about how do moms get anything done at home when they are fulfilling a million other obligations is so true. There is enough to do here at home, whether it is working with our children, playing with them, fixing, cleaning.... there is so much to do! When I was rarely home because I was at a friends' home or at the church, my children were cranky, I was cranky, and then Matt was cranky when he got home to a disheveled home to wait on dinner.

Take a break. Go out once in awhile. But don't feel like you "need" a break from your children or your husband or family. That is a lie. When I have ever felt like that, it is usually because I "need" to reevaluate myself spiritually and what I really think of my children and my husband. My "need" at that time is more spiritual than mental. I need to get out, alright.... Get out the Word! Take a break... with the Lord!
Other than that, there are so many learning opportunities in just doing what we need to daily. And, sometimes our daily responsibilities include going to the grocery or visiting a friend or a sick relative, helping a neighbor. We are not to be isolated, but we are to be in this world, but not of it. Let's find God's balance so that we are raising a new generation of Believers who know the Word better than the world.

I must add to this the fact that Christina said that "Homeschooling is all consuming!" and, though I agree, I must say that I don't feel overwhelmed by this fact. That is why we homeschool. Homeschooling is learning life. Life is all-consuming. As long as it is in the Lord, it is very good!

blessings!

(6)Comments Leave A Comment! Permanent Link

Comments

Saturday, February 9, 2008 - :)

Posted by Alycia

Very good post. I never quite thought of homeschooling like that before. I'll definatly be back to read more.

Alycia

http://missalycia.org/blog

Saturday, February 9, 2008 - Untitled Comment

Posted by quietcajun

I was thinking today about how when I was a new mom and was feeling frustrated (Kaitlyn was a screamer and didn't sleep more than 2 hours in a row for 2 years!) and I called a pastor's wife for advice and she said that I needed to get OUT without her at least once a week.

I didn't WANT to do that. It really frustrated me b/c that advice was not helpful. I wanted to be WITH her even though she was hard to train. I just wanted comfort and advice. I didn't want to be told to give up, I wanted to be told to hang in there and that "This too shall pass" and to be reminded that even though the road felt long at the time that soon enough I would be looking at an almost 16 year old young woman and would long to cuddle that chubby cheeked 2 year old one more time!!!

That is what I enjoy about our friendship, Jacque... you never tell me to give up and get out, you encourage me to hang in there, lift up my chin and get in there and get it done!

I loved this post and I really agree with you application to the problems within the church of today! Our church calls Wednesday Family Night, but it is really more like UN-Family night... the minute you enter the building you all have to break off into your age groups. And how many times did I drop off my children with either leaders who I knew did not agree with my life style or classmates that were mean and abusive to my children under the guise of them learning what they were already learning at home.

Just recently someone told me that there was no way my children could really understand what was going on in "adult" church. I should really blog about that b/c I have spent a lot of time thinking about that since. The answer I gave her was fine, but since then I have thought of so much more I should have said! And the bottom line is this: even if that were true (which it is NOT) that 90 minutes on Sunday should never be the apex of their spiritual training anyway. The other 6 1/2 days of the week SHOULD!

Thanks for another awesome post!

Love in Christ,
Christina

Saturday, February 9, 2008 - wonderful post

Posted by blessedmomof10

Fabulous post, Jacque....... I was shaking my head in a agreement the whole time I was reading it! I think a lot like you do........ our closest and most dearest friends should be our beloved family members.... and if they are not, then perhaps we need to cry out to the lord to show us "why" and "how" we can reach that place where we can truly say with our hearts that they are "kindered spirits" indeed! I truly love to be home... and yes it is consuming to homeschool and keep house for a large family ~~ but I really can' t imagine life any other way....... I want to look back upon my life one day without any regrets.... I don't want to live with regrets...... I want to look back when I am old and gray and realize yes, I was there for these children and my husband.... they were #1 in my affections.

No regrets.......

Gloria

Sunday, February 10, 2008 - Untitled Comment

Posted by HeartnSoul / CuriousCat

Absolutely in agreement with you. And I agree that "homeschooling" is all the training while they are with us.

hugs
Denise

Monday, February 11, 2008 - Untitled Comment

Posted by MamaArcher

Oh Jacque! This is so true. I was just discussing this same thing with some ladies at church this past Lord's Day! That God places us in families for a reason and when we feel we MUST get away from our families to really know who we are as an individual then we are too focused on self and not on the Lord and His call upon our life. I so agree with your post and you make such a powerful statement! THANK YOU!!

Kristine
www.mamaarcher.com

P.S. I have not mailed your giveaway book yet, PLEASE FORGIVE ME, I will get it out this week!

Wednesday, February 13, 2008 - Thank you

Posted by pathoflife

It is so great to hear that someone else shares the same heart for our families. Sometimes I think I am the only one.
Thank you for sharing your heart!