Tonight the Lord lead me to several heart wrenching blogs and sites that has made me deeply appreciate my life, my family, and just time. Life is such a precious gift. As I sit here I wonder exactly what is He trying to teach me. Be grateful for the people in your life, don't take them for granted, don't take time for granted make use of it for His glory, love, love, love, love, love, love, love, love, love, love..........and keep on loving a love that shows it self in your words, your eyes, your touch, your prayers, your actions. The last 30 minutes have been truly heart wrenching. It started when my 6 year old told me after I prayed over him that he didn't want to die and go to heaven. He explained to me that he was afraid of dying because he has never done it before and was afraid of not being with us. It gripped my heart so tight I could hardly think of what to say to my little boy. I tried desperately to comfort him and assure him that heaven is beyond wonderful but he is 6 and is not able to wrapped his mind completely around the idea and reality of heave....I can not fully wrap mine around it either. Then as I decided to check up on my friends I was almost immediately lead to Lorrie Gnos and my heart was shattered by her news. To be honest it is one of my biggest fears, I just can not imagine all of the things that she is going through. While I was meeting this amazing woman she lead me to Jacob and Will. Jacob sadly has passed already but still touched my heart tonight and then Will and his battle gripped me for the fourth time. The Lord also took a 3 month old at our church home to be with Him. The parents of this baby are struggling deeply and I just can't bear the thought of their grief and confusion. My heart is in overload tonight for all of these people and as I sit here and reflect on my day and my struggles and my ungratefulness I am struck hard with anger at my lack of frutiful joyful living and at my incapablity of living each moment in the light of eternity and just at my selfishness in everything. I had a huge post all ready to sit and copy and paste tonight full of my struggles, fears, and thoughts but that has been erased.

I pray earnestly and deeply for all of these families and the struggles that they are facing. I encourage you to visit them as well and lift them up in prayer and let the Lord touch your heart through His suffering children.