Jul. 28, 2008 - Ok, Here's the Scoop...

I haven't taken much time to blog this year due to having to move (more than once), getting divorced, etc.  So much has happened over this time, I can't possibly mention everything.  But, I wanted to get you all up to date on the highlights (and the lowlights!)  So, here goes...

1) My divorce (or should I say my ex-husband's divorce...it wasn't my idea!) was finalized in January.  My ex-husband married "the other woman" less than 4 months later!  (almost exactly a year after he left.  A year and 8 days to be exact...and on our daughter's BIRTHDAY, no less!  How sad is that???)

2) My older 2 kids don't go with him for visitation because he's been very insensitive to their feelings from the time he left.  I understand their feelings completely, but I do hope they get to a place where they have a relationship with him again.  The younger 2 are getting a little more comfortable going with him on his weekends, but they do like to get back home and sleep in their own beds!

3) I'm starting a job on Thursday.  I'm going to try to work full-time as long as I can.  I'll go down to part-time when it gets to be too much. (Notice, I didn't say "IF it gets to be too much"?)

4) I'm going to go through Financial Peace University again in a few weeks.  My friend's husband is leading it.  I've gone through it before, but that was when I didn't have a partner (I had a husband, but not a partner).  I'm looking forward to getting my finances in order!  Having some extra money from the new job will definitely help!

5) Here's a cool story I just have to tell you!  I've had lower back problems ever since I can remember and it's gotten worse with pregnancies, gaining weight, etc.  One day, our dog ran out of our apartment right when we opened the door, so my son and I had to chase her down.  When I almost had her, I stepped into a hole and my back made a loud "crack" sound!  Oh, it hurt so bad!  I was wanting to HURT that dog!  Then I remembered how much my daughter loves her so that wasn't an option!  I hobbled back inside and sat down for about 30 minutes.  Finally, I told myself that I had to get up and just push through the pain.  When I stood up, I couldn't believe it...My back was back "in" for the first time in...I don't know HOW LONG...let's just say years!  I don't know what falling in that hole did, but my back is loving it!  I'm still stiff in the morning, but it usually goes away after I've been up and walking around for a while.  Needless to say, this has made daily life MUCH easier!

6) We've pretty much had to "unschool" with everything else going on this year.  I became concerned about how much my kids were "missing", but every time I did, God kept giving me signs that they were still learning things even though we weren't doing formal "schooling".  I'm glad we were already more on the "relaxed" side, otherwise I may have gone crazy!  We're starting "next year" (we school year round, so our years just seem to run together!) the day after Labor Day.  This year I have a high schooler...ahhhhhh!  LOL!

7) It's not a for sure thing yet, but it looks like we might end up getting $ from our mobile home/lot.  Whatever we get, if any, we have to split 50/50.  It will be awesome if it happens!  I'd love to be able to pay back people who helped me through this crisis.

8) I read somewhere (a Christian web site, magazine...somewhere) that a good rule of thumb for "dating after divorce" is to wait 1 month for every year you were married.  That's from the time the divorce is finalized, not from the time of separation.  I think it's good advice and I plan on following it.  Well, we were married 14 years, so I rounded it up to 15 (I want to play it EXTRA SAFE!)  That means I'm not making myself "available" until April of next year.  Maybe I'll wait until May...that's a full 2 years after he left.  (That's playing it EXTRA EXTRA SAFE!) There are times that that feels like forever and yet other times, it seems too soon.  It's hard being alone, but I remember all too well how hard it is to be married to someone who isn't committed to you.  I'm waiting for God's best this time around!  I know ultimately HE will let me know when I'm ready.  Unless HE says otherwise, I'm not even going to THINK about dating until then! 

9) The really strange thing is...I have no problem seeing/talking to my ex-husband now!  God has really softened my heart toward him through all of this.  I really feel sorry for him because I know he's headed for some tough times because of his choices.  He's already experiencing some of those tough times and this is just the beginning.  I can't believe a year ago, the thought of him getting remarried, my kids going over there to spend the night, etc. scared me to death.  It's amazing how those things that you think will kill you, aren't as hard as you thought they'd be.  When you reach the point of realizing there are things you have NO CONTROL over, you have 2 choices:  Fight hard to control it as much as you can or give it to God.  I chose the latter, and I'm feeling the peace of that choice every day! 

Well, that's all the "main events" I can think of right now.  If I think of others, I'll let you know.