My brain is just flying today...

I have felt a strange "creative restlessness" for a few months now, and it won't go away.  It has to do with a lot of different things.  It is actually the reason I started this blog in addition to my MrsIncredible one, but it is not a focused feeling, or one I can easily pin down.  Let me see if I can explain.

At times, I feel like I have such an odd mix in terms of personality.  I have always felt different from other people, not neccesarily bad or good, just different.  One way it comes out is that I think a lot... A lot more than most people that I know, and about things most people don't think about.  I am also very creative and fun, but very driven too.  And then there is the disorganized piece... that part really confounds me, because I am also a perfectionist.  I have looked up on some websites, and I think I actually probably have ADD but it was never diagnosed, and I don't feel a need to really have it labeled because I wouldn't medicate it anyway.

Along with that, I also have a circumstantial problem.  My husband and I are in debt... deep debt.  It started with some very ignorant and stupid decisions in college and then  when we got married, we went into full-time support-based Christian campus ministry and because of lack of funding, went deeper and deeper in debt to pay living expenses until the point where we decided that we just could not do it anymore.

I started my own business in 1996 (as a Creative Memories consultant), and have done well enough to stay at home with the kids since they were born, the oldest in 1999, despite the debt.  But, between my husband's job and my part time business, and despite starting Dave Ramsey's Total Money Makeover and being on a strict budget, we are barely just getting by every month... and are not getting ahead on the debt.

Being in debt is REALLY hard.  For those of you who have not been where I am, praise God that you have not, because your obedience has certainly been a blessing to you!  For those of you who know only too well what I am talking about, I am sorry you do.  It is so tough because even though we are very sorry and have changed our ways with money, we are still stuck... unless we can find a way to earn extra on top of what we are already doing so that we can pay it off.

Well, that is where the creative restlessness comes in.  As we have obeyed God more and more in the financial arena, and through much prayer and being led to some wonderful resources. my husband and I feel the Lord leading us in new directions.  We both feel very strongly that God is calling us to express ourselves in our areas of passion and giftedness, to work in those areas, and to work hard... and that He will give us a way to pay off our debts and be free to serve Him and give to others.

But how exactly that will look is the question.  We have both been praying about it a lot, and thinking of lots of ideas.  I have a lot of things I am very excited about in life, a lot of interests and things I would like to do.  So, the hard part for me lies in narrowing down ideas and making choices. 

So, the summer of TOS that showed up in my mailbox yesterday, along with Kerry Beck's package I posted below about, got me all exicted thinking (as I am constantly anyway) about entrepreneurship and ideas I have.  And all day, I have just felt restless.... ideas are swirling...I guess just stay tuned and I will write more as things develop, if they do!