Remember her... "practically perfect in every way" ??
This morning we started a message series at church called "Soul Revolution" where we are taking a look at some of the lies that hold us captive and keep us from living the life of freedom that God wants us to live. This morning, aptly enough for me, was on perfectionism.
I freely admit, I am a perfectionist. I certainly don't at first glance fit the mold you may think of, though. I am no organized, clean freak, every-hair-in-place Desperate Housewife Bree VanDeKamp Wanna-Be. No, I am more like Susan Meyer... totally disorganized chaotic and prone to disaster, the sort who can't find my keys 99.9% of the time in 3 tries, who has to dig through the piles of paper 43,984 times a day to try to find 3 crucial pieces of paper, whose house could most days evoke a, "Ma'am, your home has been ransacked and we are so sorry!" respose from a happening-by police officer who unknowingly knocks on the door... get it yet?
But, many perfectionists are like me. We procrastinate and live in chaos and piles of unproductivity because in some odd way, it feels better not to start than to possibly do a thing to less than the best it can be done.... especially when it really matters.... like in making a home for my family or educating my children. Deep down I can fear my best will not measure up and be good enough, so at least if I don't try, I have an out from the very real pain that would come from knowing that I gave it my all and my all was not good enough.. that I gave it my all, everything I had, and failed.
That is really hard to swallow in front of the world, even the small microcosm of the world who reads my blog. (I by no means am implying that you are insignificant, only that my blog has very, very few readers :) )
Home-keeping, marriage, homeschooling, parenting, spiritual walk.... these are the things that REALLY matter to me. And yet, they so often get pushed off... if I were to write my top 5 areas of procrastination, I suspect we would see a very similar list to this. Why? Because I know I am not going to be perfect, but that is very hard to face! If taken as more than a mere cliche'd, "Nobody's perfect," it means that I have to sit down, look myself square in the face, and admit that not only may I miss perfection, I might not even be any good at all!
Yet there is a powerful truth that, if I let it, can replace the lie that I'm not good enough, that I don't measure up. We saw an incredible video about Dick and Rick Hoyt - I know I should be really savvy and be able to insert the video here, but I can't. To get to the story from church, click here, then click for video from 1/7/2006, then run the time clicker to about 52:00 minutes in to the service. The video feed is not real great, but I promise it will be worth your while to check it out. Watch all the way through the video with the song, and Dave has a few comments after it. (Be prepared to cry, though.)
So if you have watched it, you will understand... Just like Dick with his son Rick, our Heavenly Father will take me, little me, so far from perfect, maybe not even any good at all...maybe totally unable... and He will be my strength.... even when I can do nothing at all to "help" Him along, He will do it all.
Because He loves me. Because I measure up in His eyes, and I am enough for Him.
Yes, I am going to let Him teach me how to do things that I want to do better. I just won't be practically perfect in every way... but then again, I'm not Mary Poppins...(and she doesn't exist...)
Thankful that  |
Jan. 9, 2007 - well....
I just love your blog -- very cute and real!!
Blessings, Beckie :o)