Creative Writing - The Lost Art of Listening - Part One

      They say that storytelling is a lost art. Well, I don't believe it. The ability to tell a story isn't lost as much as the ability to listen to a story being told. In this world of “instant this” and “instant that,” young children’s conversations get lost in the shuffle. All kinds of electronic gadgets compete for our attention, and the immediacy of life robs us of the ability to focus. “In one ear and out the other” could very well be a catch phrase to describe the amount of concentration we give our children on any given day. But what if those conversations were worth their weight in gold? Would we listen closer, would we train our ears to “perk up” instead of “tune out?”  

      Younger children are always telling us what matters to them. They can’t help it. They’re born with the desire to give shape to their experience by retelling it, so why do we adults take their conversations for granted? Why haven't we made the connection that our children's oral storytelling skills are the very foundation of their ability to write confidently later in life? A child's narration of an event – or a comment about something he likes – these detailed accounts  are worth committing to paper at an early age. Only who's going to do the writing?  

       We've been led to think that writing begins when a child gains fluency. The definition of fluency is: “the ability to speak and write easily; eloquence; articulateness; gracefulness.” Actually, we often make the mistake of making a child write way before he gains fluency. Our children may be able to articulate their experience to a tee, but as far as being able to write it easily on paper, that's another story. Still, we follow a model that consistently turns out children who hate to write.

      We force children to sit and write, and they obediently struggle to put words on a page. If they get a few sentences down in their own handwriting we exclaim, “Oh, that’s wonderful!” We're so happy – after all, we've accomplished our goal and we can check “creative” writing off of our list for that day. But look at it from your child’s perspective. How would you like to have 300 words or more of your experience stored up in your mind only be able to crank ten or twenty out to describe it?
    Think about it. How many skills do you teach your children by actually doing it for them until they can handle doing it themselves? Dressing, brushing teeth, tying shoes, and eating breakfast are just a few skills we help children learn until they can take over for themselves.

     Writing doesn't have to be any different. Sit down with one of your children tomorrow at the breakfast table (it doesn't matter how old he is - if he struggles with writing, try this). Get out a Mead composition book or even just a piece of paper and pen. Just sit and listen to your child. You'll be surprised at what comes out of his mouth. Write it down for him. Read it back to him when he’s done. Ask him if there is anything else he wants to “talk” about. He might be surprised that you don’t want to do anything else but listen to him. He might be surprised that you value his words enough to write them down for him.
    If you have a lot of children, take one aside at a time. Just sit and listen to his heart. The words will come. Trust me. But you do the writing – just for a while – until he can do it himself.

    Start early and start young. In the book Coloring Outside the Lines, author Roger Schank, Ph. D. says, “It's never too early to encourage your children to tell stories. It's a mistake to believe that a four year-old child is incapable of telling a story or lacks a coherent story to tell. Our research shows it that children are bursting with stories from the time they can talk.”

     My mommy research has showed me the same thing. How about yours?

9:34 PM - Feb. 2, 2006 - post comment

Fantastic!

Another compelling post, Jill!

The point about how we tie our children's shoes and brush their teeth for them until they can handle those tasks on their own was a real eye-opener. That really encouraged me to begin writing down my children's stories until they can do it for themselves.

And oh, your comment about the child's perspective--having 300 words to say and only being able to write 10-20--very powerful!

Mary Jo Tate

WritingTips - 3:41 AM - Feb. 3, 2006

Not only training in writing....

Not only is listening to their "stories" and words important for the writing process, but my motto has always been: If you patiently listen to them "prattle" about seemingly unimportant things when they're little, then they will talk to you about the "big" life issues when they are older because they know you're listening.
Thanks for the great reminder.
~ Drewe Llyn

DreweLlyn - 3:57 AM - Feb. 3, 2006

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I agree.

Yesterday, my DS(9) was balking about journaling . . . so, I offered to transpose his words for him . . . he lit up and quickly and fluently was able to express himself. Thanks for affirming to me that it was all right to take over the fine motor skills that were handicapping him at the moment.

Some days I offer to let him type his work on the computer . . . as pencil and paper can be challenging for some boys. Isn't it a blessing that we can adapt our methods to meet our children's needs?

ParkwayMom

parkwaymom - 10:32 AM - Feb. 3, 2006

creative writing, the lost art of listening

Once again sister.................you have brought home some wonderful insights to a topic that will be invaluable to many people. . I read your writings and am in awe of how inspiring they are. I know that the Lord fuels those thoughts for you. Keep your ear to the ground, as it were, and always listen hard to what the Lord is revealing to your heart, for it is in that still, small, voice or God's booming voice............ whatever captures your attention..............that will be the key to unlock many other hearts. A ministry indeed! Love, June

june, jill's sister from maine - 4:14 AM - Feb. 4, 2006

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Thanks for sharing these thoughts. Maybe this will be my focus for my next Writer's Workshop...hopefully this coming Wednesday if our NEW computer is up and running AND I am anywhere with computer access. I went through some of the basic structure of a writing lesson, but did not spend much time dealing with early writers. I only mentioned that the same tasks can be completed with pre-emergent and emergent writers through dictation, but it might be helpful to spend more time on the actual benefits of taking your child's dictations. Too many rush through this or skip it all together.

Here is that section if you have the time (and interest). I'd love your thoughts!

http://homeschoolblogger.com/gottsegnet/73461/

gottsegnet - 1:17 PM - Feb. 6, 2006

great idea

I saw your article in TOS and had to come and find you. I have 5 precious ones, 3 at school age level and we have started the struggle with writing. And as you said, they do have such glorious stories to tell, and that is hindered with the inability to write and get it on paper and spell the words. I am going to do as you suggest and take each one, even the 4 year old and write things for them. In the same notebook I think i will encourage DS 10 to also write some of his own with mine. And DS 8 when he is willing, but not to push it. His spelling is poor and I know that frustrates him. Thank you for the idea, can't wait to get their notebooks started in mom's handwriting. Thanks for sharing your wisdom, I will definately be back.
Melanie

Melanieinoh - 1:48 PM - Feb. 13, 2006

I totally agree with what you have written here

and also it is great to see you back :)

Have a blessed valentines day
Blessings
Page

shekinah - 12:40 PM - Feb. 14, 2006

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Wonderful Post! Thank you!

Boltbabe - 10:29 AM - Feb. 15, 2006

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